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I Love My Boyfriend..but There Is This Big Issue.. - Romance - Nairaland

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I Love My Boyfriend..but There Is This Big Issue.. by geekybabe(f): 1:18pm On May 21, 2013
I have been dating y boyfriend for 6months now. We have been good friends for almost 4yrs b4 we stared dating. We are very much in love. We both graduated from schl a while back and he got a job while we r awaiting
nysc. He is the one that's bn taking care of his own finances evn on campus. He is quite hardworking too and takes care of some of his siblings. I understand perfectly, and I try not to make demands at all. I'm quite comfortable.
The problem is, my bf is always edgy and touchy when he is broke. We don't stay around each other, but I try to spend a weekend hanging out with him evry month since we left schl. Even when we are just communicating on phone, I know when he is broke. Its always bad. Attimes he just ignores me or passes a comment that's really depressing. When he comes around, he always aplogizes and returns to his sweet and loving self. At those times when he is broke, he won't take anytin from me or allow me help him out. I try to send sms, and assure him that evrytin will be fine but he doesn't want me to evn interfere. I don't know what to do or how to act each time he is in that state. I go thru personal challenges, but I try to act normal and explain to him and he helps out when he can. He advices me a lot too.
Is something wrong, or am I just being paranoid? Or is it just the male ego thing?

1 Like

Re: I Love My Boyfriend..but There Is This Big Issue.. by Nobody: 2:16pm On May 21, 2013
geeky_babe: I have been dating y boyfriend for 6months now. We have been good friends for almost 4yrs b4 we stared dating. We are very much in love. We both graduated from schl a while back and he got a job while we r awaiting
nysc. He is the one that's bn taking care of his own finances evn on campus. He is quite hardworking too and takes care of some of his siblings. I understand perfectly, and I try not to make demands at all. I'm quite comfortable.
The problem is, my bf is always edgy and touchy when he is broke. We don't stay around each other, but I try to spend a weekend hanging out with him evry month since we left schl. Even when we are just communicating on phone, I know when he is broke. Its always bad. Attimes he just ignores me or passes a comment that's really depressing. When he comes around, he always aplogizes and returns to his sweet and loving self. At those times when he is broke, he won't take anytin from me or allow me help him out. I try to send sms, and assure him that evrytin will be fine but he doesn't want me to evn interfere. I don't know what to do or how to act each time he is in that state. I go thru personal challenges, but I try to act normal and explain to him and he helps out when he can. He advices me a lot too.
Is something wrong, or am I just being paranoid? Or is it just the male ego thing?

DUmp him sharp sharp, meanwhile wetin be your number? hope the help he has been refusing is still available? grin
geeky_babe: I have been dating y boyfriend for 6months now. We have been good friends for almost 4yrs b4 we stared dating. We are very much in love. We both graduated from schl a while back and he got a job while we r awaiting
nysc. He is the one that's bn taking care of his own finances evn on campus. He is quite hardworking too and takes care of some of his siblings. I understand perfectly, and I try not to make demands at all. I'm quite comfortable.
The problem is, my bf is always edgy and touchy when he is broke. We don't stay around each other, but I try to spend a weekend hanging out with him evry month since we left schl. Even when we are just communicating on phone, I know when he is broke. Its always bad. Attimes he just ignores me or passes a comment that's really depressing. When he comes around, he always aplogizes and returns to his sweet and loving self. At those times when he is broke, he won't take anytin from me or allow me help him out. I try to send sms, and assure him that evrytin will be fine but he doesn't want me to evn interfere. I don't know what to do or how to act each time he is in that state. I go thru personal challenges, but I try to act normal and explain to him and he helps out when he can. He advices me a lot too.
Is something wrong, or am I just being paranoid? Or is it just the male ego thing?

DUmp him sharp sharp, meanwhile wetin be your number? hope the help he has been refusing is still available?

1 Like

Re: I Love My Boyfriend..but There Is This Big Issue.. by Confirmbabe(f): 2:16pm On May 21, 2013
Chillax babe, you're not doing anythin wrong. Its normal to be moody when you're broke, babes pretend when their men are around but guys don't. Its the male 'ego thing.

5 Likes

Re: I Love My Boyfriend..but There Is This Big Issue.. by Nobody: 2:18pm On May 21, 2013
I think he is very ambitious and highly success driven. And also he believes he should be the one helping you not the other way around. I think it is a good trait. But he is still a bit immature to undastand reality. Sometimes we cant just do it all alone. he need to undastand this fact and accept being helped.

6 Likes

Re: I Love My Boyfriend..but There Is This Big Issue.. by Confirmbabe(f): 2:19pm On May 21, 2013
illitrate:

DUmp him sharp sharp, meanwhile wetin be your number? hope the help he has been refusing is still available?
Park well jor, you want to reap where you did not sow cheesy.

2 Likes

Re: I Love My Boyfriend..but There Is This Big Issue.. by Nobody: 2:24pm On May 21, 2013
[quote author=Confirmbabe][/quote]

wetin be your own self, na only babes sabi do?
Re: I Love My Boyfriend..but There Is This Big Issue.. by omiobo: 2:31pm On May 21, 2013
It is a good trait but with time he will realize that he needs somebody to hold the ladder before he can climb it. Make him understand you are a helper as bible says.
Re: I Love My Boyfriend..but There Is This Big Issue.. by Scofieldella(f): 2:45pm On May 21, 2013
He's an ambitous guy. I would advice u to have a real talk with him wen he is in a great mood. Tell him u do not appreciate how he treats u wen he is broke.. If he doesn't change, ignore him wen he acts dt way, maybe he can't help being a grouch wen he's broke

1 Like

Re: I Love My Boyfriend..but There Is This Big Issue.. by Nobody: 2:57pm On May 21, 2013
No man is perfect and no one likes to be broke, lol. Don't dump him because of this. He takes care of some of his siblings financially, so that's extra expense and pressure on him, on top of his own well-being. We all respond to things differently. That doesn't mean it's healthy for him to continue like this. Neither is it healthy for you because he takes out his frustrations at you ...i.e. passing depressing comments at you. You said he's hardworking; help him understand he's doing the best he can and you're proud of him for helping his siblings and financing his education. Try and motivate him the best way you can, but you can only do so much. He has to try and be more positive himself. What about the parents?

1 Like

Re: I Love My Boyfriend..but There Is This Big Issue.. by Confirmbabe(f): 3:15pm On May 21, 2013
illitrate:

wetin be your own self, na only babes sabi do?
tongue
Re: I Love My Boyfriend..but There Is This Big Issue.. by Handsomeemmy(m): 3:37pm On May 21, 2013
YOUR BOYFRIEND IS SOMEONE LIKE ME, BUT I DON'T GET MAD AT MY WOMAN WHEN I'M BROKE, BUT KINDA SORBER SHALL AND ABIT WITHDRAWN

1 Like

Re: I Love My Boyfriend..but There Is This Big Issue.. by geekybabe(f): 3:40pm On May 21, 2013
.
Re: I Love My Boyfriend..but There Is This Big Issue.. by geekybabe(f): 3:41pm On May 21, 2013
Yield: No man is perfect and no one likes to be broke, lol. Don't dump him because of this. He takes care of some of his siblings financially, so that's extra expense and pressure on him, on top of his own well-being. We all respond to things differently. That doesn't mean it's healthy for him to continue like this. Neither is it healthy for you because he takes out his frustrations at you ...i.e. passing depressing comments at you. You said he's hardworking; help him understand he's doing the best he can and you're proud of him for helping his siblings and financing his education. Try and motivate him the best way you can, but you can only do so much. He has to try and be more positive himself. What about the parents?

Thks so much. Well, his parents are kinda separated and he is the first. He has bn quite independent financially for as long as I can remember. He does a lot of computer stuff to make money.
Re: I Love My Boyfriend..but There Is This Big Issue.. by neversaynever(m): 3:42pm On May 21, 2013
Ego. That's it. He sounds okay to me. It's a man's thing. If you date a gold digger/player, he'll suck you dry.
Re: I Love My Boyfriend..but There Is This Big Issue.. by Nobody: 3:50pm On May 21, 2013
Babe, Is normal for a man with family burden to be itchy and angry when he is broke, it happens to most men, you have nothing to fear just give him the space when the needs arises.. Wish you the best
Re: I Love My Boyfriend..but There Is This Big Issue.. by Xaviers(m): 3:54pm On May 21, 2013
there is No issue lady!
Re: I Love My Boyfriend..but There Is This Big Issue.. by aduaba(f): 4:14pm On May 21, 2013
Gal you don't have to be bothered. My husband has the same attitude. Anytime he's broke I try not to get on his bad side but it doesn't mean he's loves you any less. Its just an ego thing amongst some men.
Re: I Love My Boyfriend..but There Is This Big Issue.. by AtheistD(m): 5:44pm On May 21, 2013
Confirmbabe: Chillax babe, you're not doing anythin wrong. Its normal to be moody when you're broke, babes pretend when their men are around but guys don't. Its the male 'ego thing.

Brilliant analogy. A lot of people I know are very down and moody when they are broke. They are also extremely excited and mood elevated when they have cash smh undecided

2 Likes

Re: I Love My Boyfriend..but There Is This Big Issue.. by Nobody: 5:50pm On May 21, 2013
And try not to offend him during this period.IMO,this is the best time to stay a bit away AMD concentrate on other things...but don't ignore his needs!
Re: I Love My Boyfriend..but There Is This Big Issue.. by AtheistD(m): 5:52pm On May 21, 2013
lynpetra: And try not to offend him during this period.IMO,this is the best time to stay a bit away AMD concentrate on other things...but don't ignore his needs!

She shouldnt ignore him shocked

She just has to be patient and avoid conflict. Eventually he will pick up or hopefully adapt to the "no cash" situation.
Re: I Love My Boyfriend..but There Is This Big Issue.. by Nobody: 7:14pm On May 21, 2013
Wen his not broke,act same way he acts wen hs broke.

Wen he complains,tell him its 4 him to feel a little bit of wat u have been coping wit all ds while.

2 Likes

Re: I Love My Boyfriend..but There Is This Big Issue.. by Nobody: 9:21pm On May 21, 2013
For some of us, being broke is equivalent to you being on your period.
You know PMS, but there is also PBS grin (post broke syndrome)

4 Likes

Re: I Love My Boyfriend..but There Is This Big Issue.. by 190: 10:41pm On May 21, 2013
hmmm undecided
Re: I Love My Boyfriend..but There Is This Big Issue.. by BlackSwan: 11:22pm On May 21, 2013
Relationships can be so tedious, OP tell ur boify you are nt happy with him, maybe he will change
Re: I Love My Boyfriend..but There Is This Big Issue.. by SLIDEwaxie(m): 11:26pm On May 21, 2013
Biliv me OP, it's not a male ego! It is something to be proud of. Some men dnt give a hoot if they are broke and laugh off their laugh as if nothing is happening. Though, it's recommended, but i see it as laziness!

A guy shld never feel comfortable wemn broke, especially wen a lady tries to say 'all is well'.

Some of us love to be incharge! Not ordering or giving command, but feeling secured. I guess he's a taurus!

1 Like

Re: I Love My Boyfriend..but There Is This Big Issue.. by Davico(m): 11:27pm On May 21, 2013
Is this what u called a big issue? shocked embarassed

1 Like

Re: I Love My Boyfriend..but There Is This Big Issue.. by Nobody: 3:31am On May 22, 2013
is your boyfriend's name Boye lipsrsealed lipsrsealed lipsrsealed ?
If it is.... Please don't dump him! Boye is really cool
Re: I Love My Boyfriend..but There Is This Big Issue.. by Nobody: 12:02pm On May 22, 2013
.

1 Like

Re: I Love My Boyfriend..but There Is This Big Issue.. by geekybabe(f): 9:04pm On May 22, 2013
@sanb and others.. Thanks so much. I will try talking things out with him soon. Really appreciate all d advice..
Re: I Love My Boyfriend..but There Is This Big Issue.. by ComaBerenices(f): 3:51am On May 23, 2013
Well, clearly he doesn't feel "free" enough to communicate. He should be able to speak to you about the things that worry him. Communication is everything. Something is wrong. If he won't communicate, you should. Tell him how you feel, Gently.
Re: I Love My Boyfriend..but There Is This Big Issue.. by Nobody: 6:06am On May 23, 2013
its normal,but excess is bad.he is trying to keep his ego.no man wants to be viewed like a sissy in anyway. with time,he would adjust.

thats a good trait for an ambitious man.

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