I have been dating y boyfriend for 6months now. We have been good friends for almost 4yrs b4 we stared dating. We are very much in love. We both graduated from schl a while back and he got a job while we r awaiting
nysc. He is the one that's bn taking care of his own finances evn on campus. He is quite hardworking too and takes care of some of his siblings. I understand perfectly, and I try not to make demands at all. I'm quite comfortable.
The problem is, my bf is always edgy and touchy when he is broke. We don't stay around each other, but I try to spend a weekend hanging out with him evry month since we left schl. Even when we are just communicating on phone, I know when he is broke. Its always bad. Attimes he just ignores me or passes a comment that's really depressing. When he comes around, he always aplogizes and returns to his sweet and loving self. At those times when he is broke, he won't take anytin from me or allow me help him out. I try to send sms, and assure him that evrytin will be fine but he doesn't want me to evn interfere. I don't know what to do or how to act each time he is in that state. I go thru personal challenges, but I try to act normal and explain to him and he helps out when he can. He advices me a lot too.
Is something wrong, or am I just being paranoid? Or is it just the male ego thing?

geeky_babe: I have been dating y boyfriend for 6months now. We have been good friends for almost 4yrs b4 we stared dating. We are very much in love. We both graduated from schl a while back and he got a job while we r awaiting
nysc. He is the one that's bn taking care of his own finances evn on campus. He is quite hardworking too and takes care of some of his siblings. I understand perfectly, and I try not to make demands at all. I'm quite comfortable.
The problem is, my bf is always edgy and touchy when he is broke. We don't stay around each other, but I try to spend a weekend hanging out with him evry month since we left schl. Even when we are just communicating on phone, I know when he is broke. Its always bad. Attimes he just ignores me or passes a comment that's really depressing. When he comes around, he always aplogizes and returns to his sweet and loving self. At those times when he is broke, he won't take anytin from me or allow me help him out. I try to send sms, and assure him that evrytin will be fine but he doesn't want me to evn interfere. I don't know what to do or how to act each time he is in that state. I go thru personal challenges, but I try to act normal and explain to him and he helps out when he can. He advices me a lot too.
Is something wrong, or am I just being paranoid? Or is it just the male ego thing?

DUmp him sharp sharp, meanwhile wetin be your number? hope the help he has been refusing is still available?

geeky_babe: I have been dating y boyfriend for 6months now. We have been good friends for almost 4yrs b4 we stared dating. We are very much in love. We both graduated from schl a while back and he got a job while we r awaiting
nysc. He is the one that's bn taking care of his own finances evn on campus. He is quite hardworking too and takes care of some of his siblings. I understand perfectly, and I try not to make demands at all. I'm quite comfortable.
The problem is, my bf is always edgy and touchy when he is broke. We don't stay around each other, but I try to spend a weekend hanging out with him evry month since we left schl. Even when we are just communicating on phone, I know when he is broke. Its always bad. Attimes he just ignores me or passes a comment that's really depressing. When he comes around, he always aplogizes and returns to his sweet and loving self. At those times when he is broke, he won't take anytin from me or allow me help him out. I try to send sms, and assure him that evrytin will be fine but he doesn't want me to evn interfere. I don't know what to do or how to act each time he is in that state. I go thru personal challenges, but I try to act normal and explain to him and he helps out when he can. He advices me a lot too.
Is something wrong, or am I just being paranoid? Or is it just the male ego thing?

DUmp him sharp sharp, meanwhile wetin be your number? hope the help he has been refusing is still available?

Chillax babe, you're not doing anythin wrong. Its normal to be moody when you're broke, babes pretend when their men are around but guys don't. Its the male 'ego thing.

I think he is very ambitious and highly success driven. And also he believes he should be the one helping you not the other way around. I think it is a good trait. But he is still a bit immature to undastand reality. Sometimes we cant just do it all alone. he need to undastand this fact and accept being helped.

illitrate:

DUmp him sharp sharp, meanwhile wetin be your number? hope the help he has been refusing is still available?

Park well jor, you want to reap where you did not sow .

[quote author=Confirmbabe][/quote]

wetin be your own self, na only babes sabi do?

It is a good trait but with time he will realize that he needs somebody to hold the ladder before he can climb it. Make him understand you are a helper as bible says.

He's an ambitous guy. I would advice u to have a real talk with him wen he is in a great mood. Tell him u do not appreciate how he treats u wen he is broke.. If he doesn't change, ignore him wen he acts dt way, maybe he can't help being a grouch wen he's broke

No man is perfect and no one likes to be broke, lol. Don't dump him because of this. He takes care of some of his siblings financially, so that's extra expense and pressure on him, on top of his own well-being. We all respond to things differently. That doesn't mean it's healthy for him to continue like this. Neither is it healthy for you because he takes out his frustrations at you ...i.e. passing depressing comments at you. You said he's hardworking; help him understand he's doing the best he can and you're proud of him for helping his siblings and financing his education. Try and motivate him the best way you can, but you can only do so much. He has to try and be more positive himself. What about the parents?

illitrate:

wetin be your own self, na only babes sabi do?

YOUR BOYFRIEND IS SOMEONE LIKE ME, BUT I DON'T GET MAD AT MY WOMAN WHEN I'M BROKE, BUT KINDA SORBER SHALL AND ABIT WITHDRAWN

.

Yield: No man is perfect and no one likes to be broke, lol. Don't dump him because of this. He takes care of some of his siblings financially, so that's extra expense and pressure on him, on top of his own well-being. We all respond to things differently. That doesn't mean it's healthy for him to continue like this. Neither is it healthy for you because he takes out his frustrations at you ...i.e. passing depressing comments at you. You said he's hardworking; help him understand he's doing the best he can and you're proud of him for helping his siblings and financing his education. Try and motivate him the best way you can, but you can only do so much. He has to try and be more positive himself. What about the parents?

Thks so much. Well, his parents are kinda separated and he is the first. He has bn quite independent financially for as long as I can remember. He does a lot of computer stuff to make money.

Ego. That's it. He sounds okay to me. It's a man's thing. If you date a gold digger/player, he'll suck you dry.

Babe, Is normal for a man with family burden to be itchy and angry when he is broke, it happens to most men, you have nothing to fear just give him the space when the needs arises.. Wish you the best

Gal you don't have to be bothered. My husband has the same attitude. Anytime he's broke I try not to get on his bad side but it doesn't mean he's loves you any less. Its just an ego thing amongst some men.

Confirmbabe: Chillax babe, you're not doing anythin wrong. Its normal to be moody when you're broke, babes pretend when their men are around but guys don't. Its the male 'ego thing.

Brilliant analogy. A lot of people I know are very down and moody when they are broke. They are also extremely excited and mood elevated when they have cash smh

And try not to offend him during this period.IMO,this is the best time to stay a bit away AMD concentrate on other things...but don't ignore his needs!

lynpetra: And try not to offend him during this period.IMO,this is the best time to stay a bit away AMD concentrate on other things...but don't ignore his needs!

She shouldnt ignore him

She just has to be patient and avoid conflict. Eventually he will pick up or hopefully adapt to the "no cash" situation.

Wen his not broke,act same way he acts wen hs broke.

Wen he complains,tell him its 4 him to feel a little bit of wat u have been coping wit all ds while.

For some of us, being broke is equivalent to you being on your period.
You know PMS, but there is also PBS (post broke syndrome)

hmmm

Relationships can be so tedious, OP tell ur boify you are nt happy with him, maybe he will change

Biliv me OP, it's not a male ego! It is something to be proud of. Some men dnt give a hoot if they are broke and laugh off their laugh as if nothing is happening. Though, it's recommended, but i see it as laziness!

A guy shld never feel comfortable wemn broke, especially wen a lady tries to say 'all is well'.

Some of us love to be incharge! Not ordering or giving command, but feeling secured. I guess he's a taurus!

Is this what u called a big issue?

is your boyfriend's name Boye ?
If it is.... Please don't dump him! Boye is really cool

.

@sanb and others.. Thanks so much. I will try talking things out with him soon. Really appreciate all d advice..

Well, clearly he doesn't feel "free" enough to communicate. He should be able to speak to you about the things that worry him. Communication is everything. Something is wrong. If he won't communicate, you should. Tell him how you feel, Gently.

its normal,but excess is bad.he is trying to keep his ego.no man wants to be viewed like a sissy in anyway. with time,he would adjust.

thats a good trait for an ambitious man.