I have this girl that I'm dating for a while now. I love her for who she is and we are both serious and committed to the relationship but the problem I am having with her is she doesn't know how to write good english which is giving me serious concern and I'm not leaving her because of that. I do delete her text msgs because of the blunders
Pls, how do I tell her? House, help a brother out as she is planning to visit me next month.
Thank you

Can she speak English well?

Sometimes people just have learning disabilities that cause them to have trouble with their written expression. You could always offer to help her take some courses to become better.

SniperInADiaper: Can she speak English well?

Sometimes people just have learning disabilities that cause them to have trouble with their written expression. You could always offer to help her take some courses to become better.

Yes, her spoken english is very okay, only the written is her problem but shee doesn't know about it
How will I tell her about the problem is the main issue without her being getting embarrassed?

Perhaps it is the whole text language thingy....some people have their autocorrect on and it messes with the flow of things

She might already be embarassed. Before you make it a reason for dropping her, try to find out why she doesnt write English well. It sounds like you care about her so do it in a loving manner and hopefully she wont take offence.

Mynd_44: Perhaps it is the whole text language thingy....some people have their autocorrect on and it messes with the flow of things

This could be an issue too..

SniperInADiaper: She might already be embarassed. Before you make it a reason for dropping her, try to find out why she doesnt write English well. It sounds like you care about her so do it in a loving manner and hopefully she wont take offence.

I'm not leaving her. All I need is to help her to improve better. I love her so much

Soyedele1:
I'm not leaving her. All I need is to help her to improve better. I love her so much

pretend to be joining an english class and ask her to join you then enroll her for one

@OP
let me just say that you DO NOT love her for who she is because if you did then you wouldnt come up with such thread. who she is IS someone who dont read/write English properly.....either accept and love her for that or dont!
now, I would really like to know what you tell this girl when she sends you these bad Englsih msgs? have you ever told her your worries? have you ever told her how to solve her issues? have you ever helped correct her? i would be safe to say that you are part of the problem if you do NOT do any of the above i just mentioned.

the first point is to TELL HER about the problem and confirms that she ALSO believes that she has a problem.....if she doesnt see anything wrong with how she writes then you have a bigger problem on your hand. then second, you have to make her understand that it is all good because there are ways to correct her "problem"........ last but not least, lead her to the right channel to get herself "fixed".

MRbrownJAY: @OP
let me just say that you DO NOT love her for who she is because if you did then you wouldnt come up with such thread. who she is IS someone who dont read/write English properly.....either accept and love her for that or dont!
now, I would really like to know what you tell this girl when she sends you these bad Englsih msgs? have you ever told her your worries? have you ever told her how to solve her issues? have you ever helped correct her? i would be safe to say that you are part of the problem if you do NOT do any of the above i just mentioned.

the first point is to TELL HER about the problem and confirms that she ALSO believes that she has a problem.....if she doesnt see anything wrong with how she writes then you have a bigger problem on your hand. then second, you have to make her understand that it is all good because there are ways to correct her "problem"........ last but not least, lead her to the right channel to get herself "fixed".

Thank you sir, I do really love her. I am just looking for the best way to correct her

It can be a really difficult task to call this issue to her attention.
I would say it depends on the level of your relationship with her, that is why it's good to go into relationship with someone you are friends with. I'll say you would need a lot of pre-amble before the talking.

Also, it depends on the kind of person she is. If she's the type that likes to be told things straight-up, you might not have much problems. If she's the type that jokes a lot, you might wanna insert it into your jokes. If she's the type that takes things a lil personal and is too emotional, you might need lots of pre-amble as I said earlier.

Pre-amble like 'baby, you know I love you so much just the way you are...and the type of love I have for you is the type that wants to make you a better person, if I see faults in you and I cannot point it out, that means I don't love you...bla bla bla bla bla"...just try and work something out. But one way or the other, you have to work on it. If she loves you too, as in meaningful love, she'll understand and work at it. It's normal for her to feel bad at first, that's where you might need a bit of humour or you know ...whatever you know makes her feel better.

I'd personally be more concerned about spoken English rather than written. Ask her to work on her grammar and review her text messages/emails before sending them so she catches spelling/grammar errors. The OP sounds like a grammar nazi lol

SniperInADiaper: Can she speak English well?

Sometimes people just have learning disabilities that cause them to have trouble with their written expression. You could always offer to help her take some courses to become better.

Dyslexia maybe. If she speaks well then look into that. There are other learning difficulties/disabilities too that affect comprehension.

Atheist:-D:


Dyslexia maybe. If she speaks well then look into that. There are other learning difficulties/disabilities too that affect comprehension.

True. He should try to see what the problem is first

Mynd_44:
True. He should try to see what the problem is first

There are online tests for such things (or at least for dyslexia). he can use that to get a quick classification. If she has dyslexia then he knows. If not he can get her better trained in english and comprehension etc.

Atheist:-D:


Dyslexia maybe. If she speaks well then look into that. There are other learning difficulties/disabilities too that affect comprehension.

Dysgraphia could be another one.

SniperInADiaper:

Dysgraphia could be another one.

Yes. Are there online tests for that?

Atheist:-D:


Yes. Are there online tests for that?

I don't think the problem here is picking a pen to write down. The problem is majorly in her tenses and all of that. I think you're taking this too far, before all dis english would now scare the op.

alutacontinua:

I don't think the problem here is picking a pen to write down. The problem is majorly in her tenses and all of that. I think you're taking this too far, before all dis english would now scare the op.

You'd be surprised. I have met dyslexic people. You would never know they were dyslexic. One particular person sstruggled to write certain words and constantly got her e's written backwards.

Atheist:-D:


You'd be surprised. I have met dyslexic people. You would never know they were dyslexic. One particular person sstruggled to write certain words and constantly got her e's written backwards.

Exactly...she doesn't av a problem writing her 'd' and 'p', infact, she's typing not writing dis tym around, i think her problem is how to put 'she went' instead of 'she go'. Dt would have more to do with her academic and educational upbringing rather than neuronal deficits, i guess.

alutacontinua:

Exactly...she doesn't av a problem writing her 'd' and 'p', infact, she's typing not writing dis tym around, i think her problem is how to put 'she went' instead of 'she go'. Dt would have more to do with her academic and educational upbringing rather than neuronal deficits, i guess.

Ok. So some english comprehension classes are in order.

Atheist:-D:


Ok. So some english comprehension classes are in order.

Dt is what i'm guessing, however, the op is the only one who can definitely know what's wrong.

alutacontinua:

Dt is what i'm guessing, however, the op is the only one who can definitely know what's wrong.

By the way where is the OP?

alutacontinua: It can be a really difficult task to call this issue to her attention.
I would say it depends on the level of your relationship with her, that is why it's good to go into relationship with someone you are friends with. I'll say you would need a lot of pre-amble before the talking.

Also, it depends on the kind of person she is. If she's the type that likes to be told things straight-up, you might not have much problems. If she's the type that jokes a lot, you might wanna insert it into your jokes. If she's the type that takes things a lil personal and is too emotional, you might need lots of pre-amble as I said earlier.

Pre-amble like 'baby, you know I love you so much just the way you are...and the type of love I have for you is the type that wants to make you a better person, if I see faults in you and I cannot point it out, that means I don't love you...bla bla bla bla bla"...just try and work something out. But one way or the other, you have to work on it. If she loves you too, as in meaningful love, she'll understand and work at it. It's normal for her to feel bad at first, that's where you might need a bit of humour or you know ...whatever you know makes her feel better.

This was why I said ,I had a crush on you @alutacontinuation,you are great,everything about you are perfect,erm....... Are you married?




@op,I was once in your shoes,mine was the worst,she was unable speak good English talkless of writing,but she fine die,chei those big asssss,I no go forget and if I tried to correct her,she will be very angry,she was arrogant and hates corrections.....
I dumped her sharp sharp.
Yours is okay atleast she can speak,then teach how to write correctly....that is if she willing to learn.

Atheist:-D:


By the way where is the OP?

Good question

alutacontinua:

Exactly...she doesn't av a problem writing her 'd' and 'p', infact, she's typing not writing dis tym around, i think her problem is how to put 'she went' instead of 'she go'. Dt would have more to do with her academic and educational upbringing rather than neuronal deficits, i guess.

And that could be Dysgraphia. .

Atheist:-D:


By the way where is the OP?

Sir am here,lol

Young po413:

Sir am here,lol

Are you the op?
Is that ur other handle?

SniperInADiaper:

And that could be Dysgraphia. .

Maybe...but I doubt it.

alutacontinua:

Are you the op?
Is that ur other handle?

Busted

Young po413:

This was why I said ,I had a crush on you @alutacontinuation,you are great,everything about you are perfect,erm....... Are you married?




@op,I was once in your shoes,mine was the worst,she was unable speak good English talkless of writing,but she fine die,chei those big asssss,I no go forget and if I tried to correct her,she will be very angry,she was arrogant and hates corrections.....
I dumped her sharp sharp.
Yours is okay atleast she can speak,then teach how to write correctly....that is if she willing to learn.

That is no reason to dump a lady. You just have to keep trying. She was like that when you met her.

MRbrownJAY: @OP
let me just say that you DO NOT love her for who she is because if you did then you wouldnt come up with such thread. who she is IS someone who dont read/write English properly.....either accept and love her for that or dont!
now, I would really like to know what you tell this girl when she sends you these bad Englsih msgs? have you ever told her your worries? have you ever told her how to solve her issues? have you ever helped correct her? i would be safe to say that you are part of the problem if you do NOT do any of the above i just mentioned.

the first point is to TELL HER about the problem and confirms that she ALSO believes that she has a problem .....if she doesnt see anything wrong with how she writes then you have a bigger problem on your hand. then second, you have to make her understand that it is all good because there are ways to correct her "problem" ........ last but not least, lead her to the right channel to get herself "fixed".

Oga, with all respect due to you, I don't understand you o. What do you mean by the Op doesn't love her for who she is? Didn't the Op explicitly state that in his post? Or should he just fold his hands and leave her as she is just to prove to YOU that he loves her the way she is? What is the essence of a relationship if not to complement and help develop? What if she embarrasses herself somewhere important one day? What he is trying to do is more for her own good than his. He never said he was dumping her.

Consider your lines above in bold font. I don't know if you didn't understand the op or what, 'cos those lines are echoing the op's topic. He is here to find out HOW to talk to the girl and how to help her without hurting her feelings. I don't see why you should be asking him those questions when it is obvious that those are his reasons for being here. For all I know, you're just throwing his question back to him and not really suggesting a solution(save for you last line anyway). No vex o.

@OP, just take aluta's words. She's on point