I Feel My Mother In Law Is Sooooooooooooo Into Our Lives - Family (3) - Nairaland
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| Re: I Feel My Mother In Law Is Sooooooooooooo Into Our Lives by Nobody: 2:58pm On Jun 19, 2013 |
1 Like |
| Re: I Feel My Mother In Law Is Sooooooooooooo Into Our Lives by Nobody: 3:04pm On Jun 19, 2013 |
O mo! E no easy o! It was like that with my ex(one of the reasons i quited)... Mommy's boys are just so revoltin to me. But since he's your hubby i would say you join the in love, care, whatever it is them both are always indulge in. Make mama love you too, don't give them breathin space always find interest in what them both are doing, love mama and make mama love you too just the same with son(your hubby) |
| Re: I Feel My Mother In Law Is Sooooooooooooo Into Our Lives by Nobody: 3:31pm On Jun 19, 2013 |
babyosisi:gbam.thats exactly how my mom is.na she dey do shakara.she no even ger time to listen to mummy my husband did this and that.na my mumsi sef go say when you people are doing wedding anniversary,call me.no dey call me for nonsense.infact,na them dey miss her.when she wan go sef,daughter inlaw will be like e de mayiti lo na (please dont go) and my mom will be like na me be cyrils wife.my friend get out of my way joor.that one too will stand on the way and my mom will be like ok,if you want me to come next weekend,i am going with my grand kids.you need to see the way she will be rushing to pack the kids clothes.shes always enjoying mumsis jist. 1 Like |
| Re: I Feel My Mother In Law Is Sooooooooooooo Into Our Lives by Nobody: 3:33pm On Jun 19, 2013 |
chaircover: I modified my statement tey tey because I knew some people will misinterpret me  I am not an overbearing mother at all and most certainly will not be a meddling MIL Between hubby and I ,I am the liberal one,he is the tough disciplinarian Not my style at all I only have one child out of my battalion that is clingy and doing mommy mommy and I am working hard to sever that bond fast so that she begins to think and act independently for her own good. I miss our growing up At 11 yrs ,some 10, you are out to one FGC or FGGC miles away from home It has a good advantage Not now that kids will go all years of middle and high school from home and uni sef some will refuse to move out and go from home too  They will work their NYSC and remain at home How won't their mothers be all up in their business |
| Re: I Feel My Mother In Law Is Sooooooooooooo Into Our Lives by Nobody: 3:50pm On Jun 19, 2013 |
| Re: I Feel My Mother In Law Is Sooooooooooooo Into Our Lives by Nobody: 3:57pm On Jun 19, 2013 |
chaircover:wicked mummy :p so you cannot buy little chaircover what she wants.ill report you to her grandma that youve been a naughty gal 8-) |
| Re: I Feel My Mother In Law Is Sooooooooooooo Into Our Lives by Nobody: 4:01pm On Jun 19, 2013 |
| Re: I Feel My Mother In Law Is Sooooooooooooo Into Our Lives by biolabee(m): 4:24pm On Jun 19, 2013 |
That's good to hear Family dey ok I dey sempe for where I dey The fact is that in this case whey pikin dey behind hin mama the op has to be diplomatic and know when to use the stick and carrot It is well with you I like the post from zaynie ( kulyie: lol biola baby,kujo meta |
| Re: I Feel My Mother In Law Is Sooooooooooooo Into Our Lives by bukatyne(f): 4:31pm On Jun 19, 2013 |
I guess this thread will teach us that the 'demonic' advise of 'face your kids, live for them etc and forget your husband' when the marriage is shaky doesn't work and cause a lot of problems in future. 1 Like |
| Re: I Feel My Mother In Law Is Sooooooooooooo Into Our Lives by dayokanu(m): 4:33pm On Jun 19, 2013 |
kulyie: To all the Married women nairalanders,especially the ones that are yorubas,please can i have your attention,i want to ask a question that up till today i havent found answers too.its about this mother inlaw isshhhh Couples that beat them selves and divorce too were standing in front of everyone on one day showing Public display of affection and promising to High heavens to love themselves for ever. The fact is things change. 2 Likes |
| Re: I Feel My Mother In Law Is Sooooooooooooo Into Our Lives by kodewrita(m): 4:46pm On Jun 19, 2013 |
She's a single mother. Husband not alive. She's lonely. |
| Re: I Feel My Mother In Law Is Sooooooooooooo Into Our Lives by bukatyne(f): 4:51pm On Jun 19, 2013 |
kodewrita: She's a single mother. Husband not alive. She's lonely. That's why she should torment her son's marriage till he becomes a single husband. Does she not have friends? no church/mosque to be active in? no community development goal she can think of doing? |
| Re: I Feel My Mother In Law Is Sooooooooooooo Into Our Lives by biolabee(m): 5:28pm On Jun 19, 2013 |
bukatyne: I guess this thread will teach us that the 'demonic' advise of 'face your kids, live for them etc and forget your husband' when the marriage is shaky doesn't work and cause a lot of problems in future. in a weird way u make sense |
| Re: I Feel My Mother In Law Is Sooooooooooooo Into Our Lives by Tbassie(f): 5:57pm On Jun 19, 2013 |
My dear,I quite understand what you are going through given the fact that I had to contend with an overbearing MiL but in my own case,it wasn't because hubby was the favourite child but rather the least favourite amongst his siblings. Initially,I was always trying take up his cases and demanding for his rights but noticed that hubby wasn't in support of my actions. Despite all his mum did to him,he still loved and respected his mum and also demanded that I do the same. I did and today,he is enjoying his mum better than his other siblings and infact,I'm the closest to MiL amongst her DiLs. She shares vital infos with me and seek for my opinion before carrying out an action. So my dear,just try and be your MiL's best friend and watch your marriage transform into what you want it to look like,all the best! |
| Re: I Feel My Mother In Law Is Sooooooooooooo Into Our Lives by biolabee(m): 6:17pm On Jun 19, 2013 |
another nice post but unfortunately the op is looking for wartime council T-bassie: |
| Re: I Feel My Mother In Law Is Sooooooooooooo Into Our Lives by damiso(f): 6:17pm On Jun 19, 2013 |
Regarding inlaw issues my stance is (and as people pointed out in a thread I opened) its the job of the child of the parent concerned that has to lay the boundaries.In otherwords your husband has to be the one to lay the boundaries.Forget all those inlaw feferity at engagements that Kulyie alluded to, the fact is you find it easier to forgive your child you have known all your life as opposed to this girl or boy that your child married whom you probably would have never known 5 yrs ago.FACT. Lets not kid ourselves, the love in an inlaw relationship takes time to build so its not something that we automatically earn.I know there are things that I say to my mum or family that they have forgiven and forgotten but if my husband said same they might forgive but it would take longer to forget.So its left to your husband to lay the boundaries.Not your place as it might cause unnecessary conflict.If he wont then you might have to tackle it the diplomatic way that CC and suggested. 2 Likes |
| Re: I Feel My Mother In Law Is Sooooooooooooo Into Our Lives by Nobody: 6:20pm On Jun 19, 2013 |
biolabee: another nice post but unfortunately the op is looking for wartime council Chei you and your razor mouth ehn |
| Re: I Feel My Mother In Law Is Sooooooooooooo Into Our Lives by biolabee(m): 6:46pm On Jun 19, 2013 |
jidegirl12: wetin i do ooo... mama jhyde |
| Re: I Feel My Mother In Law Is Sooooooooooooo Into Our Lives by Nobody: 7:01pm On Jun 19, 2013 |
Your problem isn't that you married a last born because am married to one, Your husband is being a man child and your MIL loves it.The only way to win is to join the lovey dovey or go completely kung fu on them . Agreeing to kulyie,sometimes the only way to effect change is to ruffle some feathers(if you have the guts)but yet again,how can you if your hubby stands for her? |
| Re: I Feel My Mother In Law Is Sooooooooooooo Into Our Lives by nwababy: 8:55pm On Jun 19, 2013 |
Well,am not married but am engaged to a man that loves his mother and they are close but not like attached.I saw how close they are and I got myself involved oh.(Don't want to be left out)And she's a single mother(lost the husbands yrs ago)My fiance had to bend himself to make his mother happy and I love him for that cos the mum really went through stuff.My dear what am I saying,go closer to you MI.Take the advice CC, and others gave you.you can't even competite with her.The earlier you get closer to her the best.Your closeness to her will even bond you with your husband trust me.Men love you more when you're close to their mother.except that person no like him mama |
| Re: I Feel My Mother In Law Is Sooooooooooooo Into Our Lives by Nobody: 10:12pm On Jun 19, 2013 |
dayokanu:o,kkaay i get.thanks for the explanation |
| Re: I Feel My Mother In Law Is Sooooooooooooo Into Our Lives by Nobody: 10:18pm On Jun 19, 2013 |
chaircover:  nawa o.but when shes ripe for marriage and she brings a man home,you will be beating your chest saying eminimotakia e. To buy am buiscuit na wahala God is watching you on a 1million g camera 8-) |
| Re: I Feel My Mother In Law Is Sooooooooooooo Into Our Lives by Nobody: 10:31pm On Jun 19, 2013 |
biolabee: another nice post but unfortunately the op is looking for wartime councilhow do you know that.presumption is the mother of ignorance.by the way majekaja o.why to fi masope she dey find war council.haba na.she needs counselling and encouragements which i am happy and cc have done |
| Re: I Feel My Mother In Law Is Sooooooooooooo Into Our Lives by Nobody: 10:35pm On Jun 19, 2013 |
damiso: Regarding inlaw issues my stance is (and as people pointed out in a thread I opened) its the job of the child of the parent concerned that has to lay the boundaries.In otherwords your husband has to be the one to lay the boundaries.Forget all those inlaw feferity at engagements that Kulyie alluded to, the fact is you find it easier to forgive your child you have known all your life as opposed to this girl or boy that your child married whom you probably would have never known 5 yrs ago.FACT.damiso take am easy na  na question i dey ask na.shebi them talk say if persin no sure of something,e suppose ask other people wey don pass through that kain thing before.abeg suffri o.e neva reach that kain levels 8-) |
| Re: I Feel My Mother In Law Is Sooooooooooooo Into Our Lives by Babztemmy: 11:01pm On Jun 19, 2013 |
dayokanu:Its not even about d change? Nothing changed, but as a wife i love my space , i need it and i want it. Shez a loving mother in law but too into her son. It makes me jealous kind of. |
| Re: I Feel My Mother In Law Is Sooooooooooooo Into Our Lives by Nobody: 2:07am On Jun 20, 2013 |
Babz temmy: Truth be told, that's what I got from your first post. I didn't want to be the sole contrarian on the thread but now that you have confirmed it, I will go ahead. Maybe it's because I have read far worse mother in law stories but I read your opening post and I had to read it over and over again to see exactly what she did that's causing the level of frustration you expressed but I simply could not find it. So I was waiting for you to give the juicy details later, but till now, nada.. You said you have a problem with his mom calling him everyday but you didn't say why. Is she calling him for 5 minutes and then every one goes about their day? If so, what exactly do you find so frustrating about that? Are they talking about you? Criticizing you? It sounds like just a normal how are you, how was your day type of mundane call from what you typed. If they are speaking for hours on end or she calls multiple times a day often, then we have something to work with. You mentioned the times she called to give him bible passages. But you also made it a point to stress that it has only happened a few times. It sounds to me like she got some kind of prayer burden and she felt she had to talk to him. Is it annoying to you? Yes.... Is that the worst thing that could happen? Far from it.... Since it only happens so few and far between the talk should be with your hubby to keep his phone on vibrate and to take the calls outside the room so as not to wake you up. If it's happening on a regular basis, now we're talking. Or just discuss it with the hubby and see what you can come up with for a solution to that. He can ask his mama to write down the bible passages and call him in the morning instead. You said she's too into him, but you didn't say how that has affected you negatively so far. Is she trying to turn him against you? Does she visit often or stay over in your place and constitute a nuisance and a menace to you? Has she made you life personally miserable? How have their communications negatively affected your husband's decision making in the home? I'm not saying it may not be somewhat annoying that he has to talk to his mother everyday but I don't see why that alone should cause the level of frustration you expressed in your post. You make it sound like you are going through such a terrible experience when all you have said is that you have had to listen to people chit chatting on the phone. Could mama reduce her calling of her son? Yes, but is it really affecting the running and handling of your home negatively? In other words, is it really worth fighting over? Since the problem is that you are jealous and feel left out of their closeness, then it might be a good idea to take CC's and other's advice of getting close to her. That way she can be calling you too or at least you can share in the conversation. Otherwise you probably should stop worrying yourself until you have good reason to. 2 Likes |
| Re: I Feel My Mother In Law Is Sooooooooooooo Into Our Lives by Nobody: 2:08am On Jun 20, 2013 |
^ Oh my lawd, what an epistle!! Sorry everyone! |
| Re: I Feel My Mother In Law Is Sooooooooooooo Into Our Lives by SisiKill1: 3:22am On Jun 20, 2013 |
ileobatojo: ^ Oh my lawd, what an epistle!! Lmao!!! But so so so very very ON POINT!!!!!! Didn't wanna respond either coz I wasn't sure what had been carried to cause such hard grunting. 1 Like |
| Re: I Feel My Mother In Law Is Sooooooooooooo Into Our Lives by dayokanu(m): 5:21am On Jun 20, 2013 |
Babz temmy: With this setup theres no way you can have your space. Its either you manage the situation and find happiness in it or push for drama and be kicked out/move out Any allegation you have against the MIL at this point would just be like you are looking for excuses to avenge your jealousy Are you scared he might be shaggging his own mom |
| Re: I Feel My Mother In Law Is Sooooooooooooo Into Our Lives by biolabee(m): 6:10am On Jun 20, 2013 |
So far she had only responded to the posts counselling engagement Maybe I'm wrong but I will siddon look kulyie: how do you know that.presumption is the mother of ignorance.by the way |
| Re: I Feel My Mother In Law Is Sooooooooooooo Into Our Lives by mouthcuffed: 10:01am On Jun 20, 2013 |
I am the husband, and I will clear the air. My wife did send me an SMS yesterday stating she wanted to rub minds with me regarding my mum, and she also stated that she does not intend erupting another fight over my mum, that something bothers her and if its ok for her to share and ok by me, she'll go ahead, I responded telling her she should make sure what she wants to talk about is well refined and thought of well before she puts it through, because if its similar to the last time she put my mother on a lower level then I wont be happy. I guess she had to come here to spit it out since I didnt receive a response to my SMS. Posters, many threads on Nairaland here at times arent backed with solid facts and story lines that will enable posters give accurate and most suitable advise needed, reason being 'for example' (my wife) if you follow her post well, you'll see she only responds to people that shares her views, simply because thats what she wants to hear, and believing that her inaccurate post must give her the best most reasonable response/advise she selfishly wants to see here. The story goes like this, I am the last born of 4 children, 31 years of age, I am arguably the favourite of my mother, and please believe me when I say not because am the last born, but because out of the 4 of us, I am the only person that truly cares about my mother's wellbeing, financially, emotionally etc etc, the other's really do not care and its obvious, and my wife also know about this, shes here you guys can ask her. I have a mother that is close to 70 years of age, but by her looks and activities you'll never notice, a mother that has not yet tasted the real care of her children, yet I am the only one filling this gap, a woman that was never married, but had 4 kids for two polygamists, a woman you'll surely know has never felt the juiciness of marital union, in other words, I became her husband, one who she looks up to in times of need, care and sought after in times of danger. Please pardon my expression, I am only trying to let you all know the situation, and with all said, its not like she is totally subjected to me of such that some people might be thinking, its just people that can look deeper into the eyes of their mind would understand what am trying to say. Nairalander's I swear to God almighty that created heaven and earth, that if you guys truly see how things are going, you all including those supporting her post would declare that she should be laid on the floor and call on the IYA ALAGA (MC)of the engagement day to come and give her a whopping 12 strokes of the bulala for expressing frustration where it isnt existing and needed, this my wife should be happy she has a composed,humble and simple MIL, when it comes to me going against my mum if she does something mildly wrong, I am not seen as mummy's boy, but if it comes to expressing her frustration over nothing, I am seen as mummy's boy, this is just plainly ridiculous to my sensible understanding. Another thing you guys need to understand, if it is to be taken that my mother is still into me, in which even if it is, its not to an exaggerated level, my wife and I got married just after two months of courting, simply because (you guys should know) ilove my wife n we actually had plans to get married a year and the half after, but due to circumstances beyond our control, we just had to do it sharply. My mother has only met my wife once before marriage plans began, and it will make it a year next month that we got married, and out of that 1 year, she had spent 6 months in the USA, so its more like we have only spent a solid 6 months together,and she expects my mother to vanish all of a sudden like that? Someone that never dreamt of me getting married last year when she knew I was planning to go for my professional course abroad, this my wife sef, I just tire for your matter, the kind woman wey fit you na Alhaja Barracks, woman we go give you fire wey your own water nor go fit quench, now my mama wey just dey calm wey nor give u wahala na hin you dey always like complain about over every little thing. This issue she's even complaining about is really disgusting, please nairalanders ask her that in the past 3 months, how many times has mumsy called in the middle of the night for me to read psalm 23, which is the only thing she ask me to read whenever she calls in the midnight, this woman has only called twice in this past 3 months to read that bible passage, infact it was my phone that she called, but simply because i was deep in sleep, i couldn’t pick, so i guess she was forced to call my wife and ask her to tell me what she intend saying. From the day 1 of her threads on Nairaland regarding my mother, if you guys would run a poll as regards comments that were against her thread, and those that supported it, you all will see she has been expressing frustration that needs not be expressed @@@@@@@@@@@@allllllllll. PS: And it isnt everyday that she calls 3 times, even if she does, she would call to ask how am doing, my wife and our daughter, and if y any chance she calls the second time, its probably to ask or tell me something, not related with my marriage,besides my mother knows how to manager her airtime, if she talks on the phone for the longest period of time, then she uses 3minutes, now wifey what are you jealous of?    1 Like 1 Share |
| Re: I Feel My Mother In Law Is Sooooooooooooo Into Our Lives by Nobody: 10:11am On Jun 20, 2013 |
Geez!!!!are toddlers getting married these days ? ,couples trashing there undies in full glare of the public is fast becoming a trend,can you guys post pics as well  |
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