dayokanu: Efe more explanations please

On?

The deliverance, fasting 'n prayers bit?

Efemena_xy:



Madame Debrief, you're just as crazy yourself, with your unintentional er0tic piece up there!

@ Babyosisi, it goes beyond test driving jare. One needs to make sure the JT is capable of inducing fertilization. Pikin must enter else no show.

When I think back to how it was between hubby and I pre-marriage, I just smile. I really put the pressure on him, poor guy. Junior had to make an appearance by-fire-by-force else no show, even if it meant getting down to it half a dozen times a day.

Choi!! I was baaad! Told him the 'tank' must be filled up to leakage status before I go to work in the mornings and 'topped up' again when we both return home. Weekends? Marathon sessions.

So based on the premises of this thread, my own don finish be dat. Serious deliverance, fasting and prayer tinz...

You married with a baby bump? Thats what I have been trying to do nowadays and these babes keep saying their parents would kill them if they notice any signs of pre-marital shaggging.

Should I rig the condom or what do you suggest?

dayokanu:

You married with a baby bump? Thats what I have been trying to do nowadays and these babes keep saying their parents would kill them if they notice any signs of pre-marital shaggging.

Should I rig the condom or what do you suggest?

Mutual consent. (between both parties)

Absolute Trust (that you won't do a runner...)

You mean during rapture knowing you both going to heaven eh, oh that day, I remember that day, I will never forget that day....singing/humming I will never forget that day

babyosisi: Let the trumpet not sound while you people are testing o
Armyofone take note

armyofone: thanks for your timely explanation abi intervention .
abeg bring home real fat bacon without which nothing is important, not your huge or ever standing abunna.
when life hardship catch crayfish, crayfish no go remember say the thing is ever standing or huge.

the phallus is the real fat bacon!

...hmmmm. This garri drinking party urgently requires a sandman. Let me get my my bucket. I'll be right back!

Intresting topic,virginity nowadays are overhyped,my mum still scares me with if any man touches you will get preggy and am like eh eh she thinks am still small anyway but please holybooks still dey give us the right way and can someone tell whats 2b and hb?

^^
2b and hb are small-sized pe.nises.

babyosisi:

Thank you my sister
I like sincere and real people living in a real world
I was celibate also for a cool 18 months or so,clutching unto my King James Bible
Then a man of God came around and we decided to marry
And we fell and rose again
Fell and rose again
Each time falling unto a bed kwa o
Fell fell fell fell and rose rose rose rose
Chei!!

Dis gotta be one of the most hillarious post av read on NL! Osisi you no go kimme, initially i was taking you serious wit ur celibacy talk, b4 i read wat followed! Lwkmd, hope sey u no dey fall again!

TV01: ...hmmmm. This garri drinking party urgently requires a sandman. Let me get my my bucket. I'll be right back!

My God
I remember this name from wayyyyy back in my early years here in 2006
When we terrorized olabowale and babs in the religious section
That was the happening section back then.
Times have changed

Stegomiah:

Dis gotta be one of the most hillarious post av read on NL! Osisi you no go kimme, initially i was taking you serious wit ur celibacy talk, b4 i read wat followed! Lwkmd, hope sey u no dey fall again!

Hehehehehe

NO TEST DRIVE NO LIKEY!!!
That's the way forward. Best know what u getting yourself into before it's too late.

babyosisi:

Thanks for being sincere
I would like to hear from a woman that wasn't a virgin yet waited till wedding night not knowing if there was even a Blokoss in that shokoto
Let me hear more and also from someone that took the risk that we couldn't take

Not only does a woman have to ascertain that the anaconda exists but she has to make sure that its not the size of mkpuru ube, inspect for warts, squeeze the head make sure there's no discharge and confirm that it can get like a rocket ready to launch.I no dey for shoot bird.

spoilt:

Not only does a woman have to ascertain that the anaconda exists but she has to make sure that its not the size of mkpuru ube, inspect for warts, squeeze the head make sure there's no discharge and confirm that it can get like a rocket ready to launch.I no dey for shoot bird.

*** faints!!***

*** dies!! ***

Efemena_xy:

*** faints!!***

*** dies!! ***

Girlfriend..... . . Wake up, Lol.

Honestly if he likes hugging, hugging him or saying his name in a sexy voice may be enough.

Make out with him, rub him through his pants, tell him how big he is and how you want to feel

it in your hand etc. I guarantee after a few minutes of that he'll be quite hard and begging

for you to touch it.

minute: Honestly if he likes hugging, hugging him or saying his name in a sexy voice may be enough.

Make out with him, rub him through his pants, tell him how big he is and how you want to feel

it in your hand etc. I guarantee after a few minutes of that he'll be quite hard and begging

for you to touch it.

Will the Holy Spirit approve of this nne?

*exits thread*

abeg bring home real fat bacon without which nothing is important, not your huge or ever standing abunna.
when life hardship catch crayfish, crayfish no go remember say the thing is ever standing or huge.

Simple truth. At the end of the day, it all boils down to economic 'virility'. Women themselves know this. As I have seen (and experienced at some point, lol), nothing irritates them more than a 'uselessly' virile man with empty pockets.

Besides, sex with the same partner, however good he or she is, gets monotonous after a while. When all the ooohs and ahhhs quieten down (as they inevitably would sooner than later), all you have left are real life issues to deal with - 95% of which involve cold, hard, cash. Humans may be animals, but they are higher animals with higher needs than mating.

CC, don't tell me you also tested

Many IDs I respected so much in the family section seem to be arriving at same conclusion(Chaircover, greatgod, debrief08,Jidegirl, Damiso and host of others). @ OP, I understand your stance and because you failed in one area of your christian race and you were not able to hold on tenaciously to the chaste principles of marriage demanded and commanded by God because of lack of faith/or because you can not walk with God like Abraham,who does not know where He was going but moved by the act of faith. Trusting the eternal God than the carnal sense of Man, doesn't mean you should generalized or undermine practically what God condemns. I understand God has Forgiven you but don't use that cloak to excuse others into it. Many may not have that second chance to retract and that may damn their souls. As a Christian, don't let your own weakness or mistake push you to teach things that are not motivated or that are contrary to the word of God because everybody is doing it. There is a grace that saves and there is a faith in God that can gives all intending couples what they desires to get but not through sin. The Flesh will always give suggestions, the devil will always try to make you defile the bed, friends will always try to push you to doing it but these are temptations. Fight the good fight of faith, lay hold on eternal life, admonish younger women to be chaste even if you fail in your own time. Rebuke, exhort and encourage women to hold on to faith. Counsel them that they can hold on. Marriage is honorable in all but bed undefiled but whoremonger and adulterer God shall judge. It doesn't matter whosoever has done that, the standard of God does not change. The foundation of God standeth sure. Stop helping others or yourselves to excuse themselves into sin. IF we truely believe God can save and can give us all what we need while do we then rely on self. The way of self is the way of damnation. May God help us all to stick to the truth of Gods word even when we have failed in the time past. Strive to enter in at the straight gate, for broad is the way that leads to destruction and many therein that gooes through that part. I respect you a lot. please change your stance and enocuage intending couples not to follow your path or mistakes you have made. Help them to know that when they sincerely and truely serve God and did not work by sight or by calculation, God will give the more than the package they have been longing for. It will be so satisfying.

Erm...... Abeg me no dey for ThaT agbakwa nnunu nne ya efefuo story, achorom ya chacha! Aga ebiTu ihe aka, mara ma odikwa sound.

There are so many Things I need to find ouT jare:
Can he geT it up?
Can he hold iT up?
For how long?
What size?
Can we connect se..xual....ly?
Is he se....xually innovative or we only have to do it on The bed?
Can he make me see sTars and speak in tongues?
Does he have other horrible "bedmaTics" atTitude ThaT mighT Turn me off?

Test driving answers iT for me.

BuT for now, adikwa m celebraTe abi na celibate, how dem dey even talk? But when 'he' comes, we are not gonna buy without tesTing, anarom azu afia akpa.

@ vivianc: Your analysis dikwa solid

vivianc: Erm...... Abeg me no dey for ThaT agbakwa nnunu nne ya efefuo story, achorom ya chacha! Aga ebiTu ihe aka, mara ma odikwa sound.

There are so many Things I need to find ouT jare:
Can he geT it up?
Can he hold iT up?
For how long?
What size?
Can we connect se..xual....ly?
Is he se....xually innovative or we only have to do it on The bed?
Can he make me see sTars and speak in tongues?
Does he have other horrible "bedmaTics" atTitude ThaT mighT Turn me off?

Test driving answers iT for me.

BuT for now, adikwa m celebraTe abi na celibate, how dem dey even talk? But when 'he' comes, we are not gonna buy without tesTing, anarom azu afia akpa.

English please

alutacontinua:

English please

Sorry boo, whatever I typed, I translaTed.

^ ^ ^ ^
So, did you test-run?

CFCfan: @ vivianc: Your analysis dikwa solid

My dear, my faith never reach ThaT level, to buy engine wey I no Test? Nah! Even if na Twice or Thrice (That's if it possible) I go manage. But to noT do chacha? Nah.

chaircover:

No Comment!

My own two cents concerning the issue on ground. The Christian race is a journey of faith just like admonition pointed out and even though it's risky, it's a risk some people are willing to take to keep their salvation. Also, communication is key. When a couple get to that stage where they're almost sure this is the person, they should be able to discuss anything as regards their sexual life. Ask him questions? If he's a virgin, it might be a lil tougher to get answers but you can also discuss about his willingness to learn. How far is he willing to go in that aspect etc

God's standards cannot be lowered no matter how hard we try to defend it. We would always have a million and one reasons and justification for sin but the standards of God remain the same no matter what.

I should also add that if you're with a guy who doesn't give you that devilish look once in a while or just try to do some funny things or even say some things, all in the name of being filled with the holy ghost Hmmmm...
At least, your presence should be able to drive him crazy once in a while such that you'll be the one to sprinkle holy water on him to wake up.