I go keep my papa surname name o after marriage, it says who I am.

_{"shakes head"} africans sha. make una dey there dey complain about names. the world is advancing and moving forward, women are being recognized as human beings in the society with voices and opinions, and some of you would rather be stuck in the dark ages. i feel sorry for you. anyway, its only a handful of people that still object to their wife keeping her last name, those that have a complex and think the wife is property that should be stamped! hiss!
i'm keeping my last name, it is very precious to me. most of my siblings are girls, so it's even more important that we keep the name alive! if i had my way, my future kids would bear my maiden name plus their father's name too!  oh, wait, i'll just name one child with my maiden name. yes, that's it!

Souljagirl:

_{"shakes head"} africans sha. make una dey there dey complain about names. the world is advancing and moving forward, women are being recognized as human beings in the society with voices and opinions, and some of you would rather be stuck in the dark ages.

chill. So women now bearing their maiden names is your own idea of "world advancement"?
So women who bear their husband's names are not regarded as humans with voices and oppinions?
Hillary Clinton is bearing her husband's name and is likely to become America's next president . . . what are you talking about?

So Hillary is stuck in the dark ages?

Souljagirl:

i feel sorry for you. anyway, its only a handful of people that still object to their wife keeping her last name, those that have a complex and think the wife is property that should be stamped!

chill again. So Bill Clinton has a complex and regards Hillary as property to be stamped?

Souljagirl:

i'm keeping my last name, it is very precious to me. most of my siblings are girls, so it's even more important that we keep the name alive! if i had my way, my future kids would bear my maiden name plus their father's name too! oh, wait, i'll just name one child with my maiden name. yes, that's it!

by all means keep your last name but pls make some sense while trying to do so. Millions of women gladly take their husbands names, its not because they are just brainless sheep.

I would keep mine

D__D:

chill. So women now bearing their maiden names is your own idea of "world advancement"?
So women who bear their husband's names are not regarded as humans with voices and oppinions?
Hillary Clinton is bearing her husband's name and is likely to become America's next president . . . what are you talking about?

So Hillary is stuck in the dark ages?

chill again. So Bill Clinton has a complex and regards Hillary as property to be stamped?

by all means keep your last name but please make some sense while trying to do so. Millions of women gladly take their husbands names, its not because they are just brainless sheep.

Solid responses!!!

D__D:

chill. So women now bearing their maiden names is your own idea of "world advancement"?
So women who bear their husband's names are not regarded as humans with voices and oppinions?
Hillary Clinton is bearing her husband's name and is likely to become America's next president . . . what are you talking about?

So Hillary is stuck in the dark ages?

chill again. So Bill Clinton has a complex and regards Hillary as property to be stamped?

by all means keep your last name but please make some sense while trying to do so. Millions of women gladly take their husbands names, its not because they are just brainless sheep.

Correction, Hilary Rodhman Clinton, she Rodman is her Fathers Name and she uses it toghter ith her surname, People just prefer to use the short version but check her profile you will see her full names

aisha2, thanks for pointing that out to him. you've saved me the trouble. see him jumping to conclusions without even getting his facts right? its between a man and his wife how they both decide which names to go by. i'm not saying that there are some women out there who oppose it. everyone has their own preferences. it's just that the way men go about it like its by force to bear his name, that's what i don't like. if a woman wants to keep her maiden name and add yours to the end of it, by all means let her. what else do you want? hope you get that, D_D

well, first off, I'm a muslim and according to my religion, I shouldn't be changing my name after marriage. We do not believe that marrying a man means you should give up your identity and doing so can cause confusion regarding lineage/family tree. There is no such thing as ownership of the woman; yeah, the Qur'an says "Men are maintainers and protectors of women,,," but no where does it say one owns the other. The woman bears her father's last name to indicate her line of descent not as a sign of her father's ownership and since her line of descent doesn't change after marriage, why should she change it?

And all those saying people who aren't ready to change their names are not ready for marriage sound very immature. So the name is a deciding factor in marriage now, abi? If you found the perfect wife BUT she decides not to take your name you won't marry her? I mean no offense but it sounds very silly and puerile to me.

And to the guy (RichyBlack) who said I'm not Nigerian because of this, get this straight: I'm Nigerian, yoruba to be precise. And it certainly aint nigerian culture to change your name after marriage; I know Nigerian culture too! Its something that came with colonisation. Are you gonna tell me that in the olden days, when Labake gets married to Aremu Babatunde people start calling her Labake Babatunde? No! She would still be called Labake or Iyawo until she gets her own kid and becomes Iya Asake or whatever. And yeah, Nigerian men WANT to marry me,,,afterall, they DO think I'd be a very good wife. So please don't jump to silly conclusions based on one minor detail,,,at least not ALL Nigerian men are narrow-minded.

But my reasons for refusing to take on someone else's name have nothing to do with culture; its more of a religious and common-sense thing.

stranger26:

If you found the perfect wife BUT she decides not to take your name you won't marry her? I mean no offense but it sounds very silly and puerile to me.

This whole whinning aka "argument" is silly, puerile and petty to me. Women change their names not because men force them to as a sign of ownership but because the women see it as a symbol of marriage and pride.

Souljagirl:

aisha2, thanks for pointing that out to him. you've saved me the trouble. see him jumping to conclusions without even getting his facts right? its between a man and his wife how they both decide which names to go by. i'm not saying that there are some women out there who oppose it. everyone has their own preferences. it's just that the way men go about it like its by force to bear his name, that's what i don't like. if a woman wants to keep her maiden name and add yours to the end of it, by all means let her. what else do you want? hope you get that, D_D

You goofed. I deliberately ignored aisha2's comment earlier on . . . It is common knowledge that here in the US a lot of women adopt their maiden names as middle names names after marriage while adopting their husband's name as their new surnames.
Something both of you erroneously overlooked in your haste to make me look wrong is the plain fact that Hillary does NOT use Rodham-Clinton which would have been the case if she wanted to maintain her maiden name as part of her surname.
She uses Clinton ONLY as her surname on all official documents.

Dont be in a haste to make others look stupid, sometimes it merely exposes your own paucity of knowledge.

Dawid: I don't need to take my husband's name for people to know I'm married. Won't he be introduced to them? And if it matters so much to strangers, why don't they follow me home to check the marriage contract? That's the problem with Nigeria; people want to know what doesn't concern them in any way at all! So yeah, if they see me and my husband, let them come up to me and ask for proof of marriage since my name will obviously be different to his!

this shouldn't even be up for discussion. There's a reason it is recognized as a maiden name.

stranger26:

Dawid: I don't need to take my husband's name for people to know I'm married. Won't he be introduced to them? And if it matters so much to strangers, why don't they follow me home to check the marriage contract? That's the problem with Nigeria; people want to know what doesn't concern them in any way at all! So yeah, if they see me and my husband, let them come up to me and ask for proof of marriage since my name will obviously be different to his!

Pretty much i'd advice you to stick to issues where you can at least make some sense. Nigeria is not the only nation where married women pick up their husband's name after marriage . . . like Kobe said . . . Nigerians did not invent the term "maiden name".

If you dont want to take up ur husband's name then dont, no one is forcing you. Your mother took up ur father's name . . . ask her if she did it because of strangers as proof of marriage.

This topic and the replies are just ridiculously silly.

dawi, what if tomorrow, things turned around and men could take on their wife's last names? what would you do? would your pride get in the way, or would you agree to it wholeheartedly in the name of love? you keep rambling on in your posts about hilary clinton this and that, but you're not even making any point? besides, there are tons of women out there who won't bat an eye when it comes to getting rid of their maiden name, but it is even better when it's a choice she made and not something she was forced to do because her husband says so. get with the program abeg.

Souljagirl:

dawi, what if tomorrow, things turned around and men could take on their wife's last names? what would you do? would your pride get in the way, or would you agree to it wholeheartedly in the name of love?

Sorry to say but this is a purely stupid question. Women have been bearing their husband's surnames for how many yrs now . . . hundreds or thousands of yrs?
It is not a legislation that women MUST bear their husband's names . . . there are thousands of women who keep their maiden names and their husbands are just fine. What is the point of ur whinning really?

Souljagirl:

you keep rambling on in your posts about hilary clinton this and that, but you're not even making any point?

You're the one who really doesnt know what she's saying . . . notice that you did not use Hillary Rodham when you refered to her. Hillary is using her husband's name . . . if that was a sign of Bill's ownership over her i doubt she'd be running for president.

Souljagirl:

besides, there are tons of women out there who won't bat an eye when it comes to getting rid of their maiden name, but it is even better when it's a choice she made and not something she was forced to do because her husband says so. get with the program abeg.

O Lord! Is there a legislation that forces you to take up ur husband's name? Who forces wives to drop their maiden names? Ask your mother . . . was she forced to take up ur father's name? Get with which program? your idiocy?
Can you engage ur brain when next you reply pls?

dawi, it's obvious you don't know how to carry on a civil conversation on this forum like a matured person. why all the attack on everything i say? grow up, ok, it's not that bad. people like you don't see beyond their noses and don't know how to comment when a different view is presented to them. i won't respond to your childish comments anymore, so go find someone your age to pick on.

Souljagirl:

dawi, it's obvious you don't know how to carry on a civil conversation on this forum like a matured person.

did u mistake your juvenile entries initially as "civil conversation" for mature minds? Think again.

Souljagirl:

why all the attack on everything i say?

for the simple reason that i dont suffer empty heads who think they should come here and rubbish whatever others say. I always say . . . if you bring VALID points ii will gladly accept and will humbly acknowledge it. Until then dont come ranting and raving if you actually know less than you are letting on.

Souljagirl:

grow up, ok,

Everyone who knows me is aware i am grown up. Let me also add that taking air heads like you down a peg or two is not the exclusive preserve of kids.

Souljagirl:

people like you don't see beyond their noses and don't know how to comment when a different view is presented to them.

there is a clear difference between "different views" and downright silly comments. While i take extra time to digest the former, i do not suffer the latter.

Souljagirl:

i won't respond to your childish comments anymore, so go find someone your age to pick on.

Childish comments because they expose you for what you truly are - brainless. Next time dont just come here exhibiting verbal diarrhoea . . . people who actually have some brain cells are reading and may have a thing or two to say about it.
Have a good day.

As for me am keeping my father's name after marriage, and combining it with my husband's name. the man either accept or leave it. my father's name is too unique to let it go like that. shikena.

@ Dawi

carry your wahala go. haba the girl just dey talk her mind.
And what's the fuss about a name? It's just a name and nothing more!

If you don't want to change your name, don't get married. Abi na wetin. Women sha. Soon you'll ask the man to change his last name to your fathers.

As for me, a woman can keep her dad's name IFF the following apply
- If there are no male kids in your household
- If you were in the public eye prior to marriage

Any other reason na counterfeit.
If you don't like me enough to accept my last name, then we shouldn't be married. Last time i checked there are like 4 billion women in the world. Women outnumber men 4:1 so i can always get someone that's willing to accept my name.
Stop trying to hold on to nonsense. Thats why u have brothers. Most parents don't even want you to keep the name sef so whats the fuss.
Girls of nowadays just want to show off by keeping their parents names. Abegi, run to the guardian newspaper and announce ur change of name shap shap.

Well,ladies kip their dad's last name 4 diff reasons, It cld b becuz

It funny why women need permission from men regarding what their names should be. In this day and time?

A-town:

If you don't want to change your name, don't get married. Abi na wetin. Women sha. Soon you'll ask the man to change his last name to your fathers.

As for me, a woman can keep her dad's name [b]IFF the following apply
- If there are no male kids in your household
- If you were in the public eye prior to marriage[/b]

Any other reason na counterfeit.
If you don't like me enough to accept my last name, then we shouldn't be married. Last time i checked there are like 4 billion women in the world. Women outnumber men 4:1 so i can always get someone that's willing to accept my name.
Stop trying to hold on to nonsense. Thats why u have brothers. Most parents don't even want you to keep the name sef so whats the fuss.
Girls of nowadays just want to show off by keeping their parents names. Abegi, run to the guardian newspaper and announce ur change of name shap shap.

I think those two reason are really congent reasons why a man should not feel slighted if a woman wants to keep her maiden name.I am married and i changed my name does not mean i am not empowered.I guess its up to the individual to decide whatever last name they want to be addressed with,however i do not suscribe to some of the insults hurled on the women who change their surnames by some of the OP.

Going through this thread some thoughts come to my mind.

In this part of the world (that's the only sector of the globe I know very well)

Must a man exercise his 'authority' before he becomes a man?
Must there be a woman to 'control' or lord things over before a man feels like a man?

Why cant a man just be a man and be satisfied with and enjoy being a man without having to control a memeber of the 'weaker sex' to be a man?

theres no harm done if she keeps her surname so far my children keep my own name only . i hope yall feel me on this

@topic, dat one na if u get money or power or fame or prestige
eheh

its a thing of choice and i have nothing against it.

[b]BY timi2[/b]I believe it has to do with these rich men daughters;they love to show themselves apart from joke silver

This is not all about wealth, it is done all over the world, unlike me i kept my dad's name together with hubby's name, there is no need changing ur informationg completely as ur previews name still persist in all ur document.

what happens when u devoice?? u will have to change informations again from hubby name to surname. no one will ever call u mrs by ur surname but mrs by ur hubby's name.

On like where i live, they automatically keep ur surname in ur identity card as (((name of birth and hubby's name as mariter name)))) i think is really the best.

This is a silly discussion. A man who takes such a thing important is not likely to get to the point of marriage with a woman who is nonchallant about it.
I think it's good for my wife to be Mrs. Hugger, not to still be miss maidenname. As much as I am not one for insisting on any such things, a woman who wants to stay as miss maden name should be allowed to be that way after her marriage but I also have a choice as to what kind of woman I marry

plappville:

This is not all about wealth, it is done all over the world, unlike me i kept my dad's name together with hubby's name, there is no need changing ur informationg completely as ur previews name still persist in all ur document.

what happens when u devoice?? u will have to change informations again from hubby name to surname. no one will ever call u mrs by ur surname but mrs by ur hubby's name.
On like where i live, they automatically keep ur surname in ur identity card as (((name of birth and hubby's name as mariter name)))) i think is really the best.

Are you married
I didn't realise that one has to plan for divorce when planning for marriage. no wonder many marriages by people with these liberal and westernised minds dont work out in the long run- you already have at the back of your mind that you will divorce some day

some married ladies kept there fathers name for benefit purposes,if  there fathers name is well known etc most of my married step-sisters kept my fathers name as it helps them socially and when seeking job,contracts in Nigeria etc.
as for me i took my husbands name after marriage.if i divorce God forbid,i have decided to still keep my married name because i want to have the same surname as my kids.

Hugger:

Are you married
I didn't realise that one has to plan for divorce when planning for marriage. no wonder many marriages by people with these liberal and westernised minds don't work out in the long run- you already have at the back of your mind that you will divorce some day

@hugger,nobody wishes for divorce when married but no body knows tomorrow,anything can happen if its meant to  ,know matter how hard u try to prevent or stop it .

For the risk of sounding masochist, I believe any lady that plans to keep her maiden name is really not interested in becoming a FULL member of her husband's family. (you know it is a lot easier to drop of the name after the hyphen should a misunderstanding arise).

Seconded

shakes head" africans sha. make una dey there dey complain about names. the world is advancing and moving forward, women are being recognized as human beings in the society with voices and opinions, and some of you would rather be stuck in the dark ages. i feel sorry for you. anyway, its only a handful of people that still object to their wife keeping her last name, those that have a complex and think the wife is property that should be stamped! hiss! Angry
i'm keeping my last name, it is very precious to me. most of my siblings are girls, so it's even more important that we keep the name alive! if i had my way, my future kids would bear my maiden name plus their father's name too! Grin oh, wait, i'll just name one child with my maiden name. yes, that's it!

where is our culture? , our Tradition? don't let these 'pink guys' steal the only legacy we have all in the name of civilisation. you know very well that it was never our practice.
with all honesty,i have a problem with that