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Ladies Who Hold On To Their Father's Surname In Marriage - Family (4) - Nairaland

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Re: Ladies Who Hold On To Their Father's Surname In Marriage by iice(f): 5:06am On Nov 17, 2010
Inked_Nerd:

@OP: Personally, I would NEVER take on my husbands name [if [b]/[/b]when I ever get married], nor would I hyphenate it. I see no reason as to why I should. A woman is expected to take on a man's name but not vise versa? Oh please, give me a break. I never liked the idea of a woman changing her last name just because she marries some man. If that is the case then the man should do the same or hyphenate his name as well. I'm not much of a marriage person but if I ever do get married, I won't hyphenate nor will I change my last name and if anyone has a problem with my decision, then they can go jump off a roof.

Or convince him to take your name grin
Re: Ladies Who Hold On To Their Father's Surname In Marriage by InkedNerd(f): 5:10am On Nov 17, 2010
iice:

Or convince him to take your name grin

lol, I actually have a friend who said he wouldn't mind taking his wife's last name when he get married.
Re: Ladies Who Hold On To Their Father's Surname In Marriage by bkbabe97y(m): 7:52am On Nov 17, 2010
Inked_Nerd:


lol, I actually have a friend who said he wouldn't mind taking his wife's last name when he get married.

You friend is either gay or deranged. . . . or both!

Where the hell u stay getting all these funny folks from?
Re: Ladies Who Hold On To Their Father's Surname In Marriage by denzel2009: 10:17am On Nov 17, 2010
Inked_Nerd:



So, its not disrespectful towards the woman either?



No. Once you exchange marital vows, you become one unit.

But,if the guy marries a sado masochist it could be disrespectful to the woman.
Re: Ladies Who Hold On To Their Father's Surname In Marriage by SALady(f): 10:43am On Nov 17, 2010
I have to admit I am sitting on the fence about this one. Firstly I see nothing wrong with any woman who doesnt want to chage her last name to her husbands. I really doubt if it means she loves her man any less nor more, love has no complex.

Personally at this point in my life i'd double barrel the name. Otherwise if hubby insists I'd change it for the hek of it, some things aren't worth fighting for, I choose my battles too well wink
Re: Ladies Who Hold On To Their Father's Surname In Marriage by InkedNerd(f): 11:39am On Nov 17, 2010
denzel2009:

No. Once you exchange marital vows, you become one unit.

But,if the guy marries a sado masochist it could be disrespectful to the woman.

So, if I am one unit why am I taking his last name rather than him? That doesn't seem to show unity. It comes across a very one sided. There is no actual justification for so an issue. Most men use it as a means of asserting their perceived authority/dominance that they seem to think they are entitled to by society.

bk.babe97y:

You friend is either gay or deranged. . . . or both!

Where the hell u stay getting all these funny folks from?

Oh Lord, you again?!?! Your like an annoying mosquito or something. MYOB, where I get my friends from is none of your business. Guess your one of those "funny folks" because your the biggest oddball that I've interacted with here on NL.   
Re: Ladies Who Hold On To Their Father's Surname In Marriage by Nobody: 2:51pm On Nov 17, 2010
Would change mine in a heartbeat. No big deal.
Re: Ladies Who Hold On To Their Father's Surname In Marriage by bkbabe97y(m): 9:01pm On Nov 17, 2010
Inked_Nerd:


Oh Lord, you again?!?! Your like an annoying mosquito or something. MYOB, where I get my friends from is none of your business. Guess your one of those "funny folks" because your the biggest oddball that I've interacted with here on NL.   [/font][/size]

I'm the biggest oddball u interacted with on here? lmfao!!!

Cool!

I got a "Biggest" something else I'd like u to check out! lol
Re: Ladies Who Hold On To Their Father's Surname In Marriage by InkedNerd(f): 10:04pm On Nov 17, 2010
bk.babe97y:

I'm the biggest oddball u interacted with on here? lmfao!!!

Cool!

I got a "Biggest" something else I'd like u to check out! lol

Oh really? cheesy
Re: Ladies Who Hold On To Their Father's Surname In Marriage by KennyG6(m): 10:59pm On Nov 17, 2010
rubbish! once you decide to marry the guy and yur father hands you over to him, then am sorry that name has to go. The one that really gets me is the women who keep their ex husband's name after divorce
Re: Ladies Who Hold On To Their Father's Surname In Marriage by InkedNerd(f): 11:03pm On Nov 17, 2010
Kenny_G:

rubbish! once you decide to marry the guy and yur father hands you over to him, then am sorry that name has to go. The one that really gets me is the women who keep their ex husband's name after divorce

So, we're property eh? Sounds more like a business transaction rather than a marriage.
Re: Ladies Who Hold On To Their Father's Surname In Marriage by KennyG6(m): 11:05pm On Nov 17, 2010
Inked_Nerd:


So we're property eh? Sounds more like a business transaction rather than a marriage.
how is surrendering one's father's name and taking up your husband's a biz transaction?
the fact is the father has handed her over, she has nothing left in her father;s house so why hold on to the name?
Re: Ladies Who Hold On To Their Father's Surname In Marriage by InkedNerd(f): 11:08pm On Nov 17, 2010
Kenny_G:

how is surrendering one's father's name and taking up your husband's a biz transaction?
the fact is the father has handed her over, she has nothing left in her father;s house so why hold on to the name?

Why shouldn't she? The husband to be is leaving his family's house as well so why is it only her that is changing names?
Re: Ladies Who Hold On To Their Father's Surname In Marriage by KennyG6(m): 11:10pm On Nov 17, 2010
Inked_Nerd:


Why shouldn't she? The husband to be is leaving his family's house as well so why is it only her that is changing names?
because men are the ones who go and ask for the girl's hand in marriage, men are the ones who pay a bride price, men are the ones who make a vow to take care of the girl. in a nutshell the man brings the woman into his life/home, he "acquires" her for want of a better word
Re: Ladies Who Hold On To Their Father's Surname In Marriage by InkedNerd(f): 11:21pm On Nov 17, 2010
Kenny_G:

because men are the ones who go and ask for the girl's hand in marriage, men are the ones who pay a bride price, men are the ones who make a vow to take care of the girl. in a nutshell the man brings the woman into his life/home, he "acquires" her for want of a better word

So what if you pay some s.tupid bride pride, ask for her hand and "take care of the girl"?  Did you suddenly forget that its not just the man making a vow as well? Women are not pieces of property you can just buy, or in your words, "acquire". If you paying some ridiculous bride price seems to mean that you suddenly own her then I suggest you rethink you views on marriage. As I said before, you've described it the manner of a business transaction rather than a marriage. You don't own her and she doesn't own you. How can you be "one"/ "unified" when the name is one sided?
Re: Ladies Who Hold On To Their Father's Surname In Marriage by KennyG6(m): 11:28pm On Nov 17, 2010
Inked_Nerd:


So what if you pay some s.tupid bride pride, ask for her hand and "take care of the girl"? Did you suddenly forget that its not just the man making a vow as well? Women are not pieces of property you can just buy, or in your words, "acquire". If you paying some ridiculous bride price seems to mean that you suddenly own her then I suggest you rethink you views on marriage. As I said before, you've described it the manner of a business transaction rather than a marriage. You don't own her and she doesn't own you. How can you be "one"[b]/ "unified" when the name is one sided[/b]?
so the couple are one if the woman is still bearing the name of her father? she might as well remain in her parents home,
Re: Ladies Who Hold On To Their Father's Surname In Marriage by InkedNerd(f): 11:36pm On Nov 17, 2010
Kenny_G:

so the couple are one if the woman is still bearing the name of her father? she might as well remain in her parents home,

And how does bearing only the husbands name signify unity? If they both retained the names they have then that is a common bond, which can still signify their unity. And there's always the options of hyphenating. How can you really be "one" when your hear speaking of the bride to be as though she is property? She is a human being as well. You marrying her doesn't mean you own her.
Re: Ladies Who Hold On To Their Father's Surname In Marriage by bkbabe97y(m): 11:37pm On Nov 17, 2010
Inked_Nerd:


Oh really? cheesy

U know I was talking bout my book collection, right? tongue
lol
Re: Ladies Who Hold On To Their Father's Surname In Marriage by InkedNerd(f): 11:39pm On Nov 17, 2010
bk.babe97y:

U know I was talking bout my book collection, right? tongue
lol

Lmao, oh really? And what kind of books do you have in your collection?
Re: Ladies Who Hold On To Their Father's Surname In Marriage by KennyG6(m): 11:39pm On Nov 17, 2010
Inked_Nerd:


And how does bearing only the husbands name signify unity? If they both retained the names they have then that is a common bond, which can still signify their unity. And there's always the options of hyphenating. How can you really be "one" when your hear speaking of the bride to be as though she is property? She is a human being as well. You marrying her doesn't mean you own her.
but of course it does it does, the man owns the wife and has a certificate to the effect
Re: Ladies Who Hold On To Their Father's Surname In Marriage by InkedNerd(f): 11:42pm On Nov 17, 2010
Kenny_G:

but of course it does it does, the man owns the wife and has a certificate to the effect

Oh really? So then I suppose the woman owns the man as well? They're both property to one another eh?
Re: Ladies Who Hold On To Their Father's Surname In Marriage by KennyG6(m): 11:43pm On Nov 17, 2010
Inked_Nerd:


Oh really? So then I suppose the woman owns the man as well? They're both property to one another eh?
yeah its mutual, only that you cannot have two masters in a boat so someone has to be the head, and in this case its the man
Re: Ladies Who Hold On To Their Father's Surname In Marriage by InkedNerd(f): 11:49pm On Nov 17, 2010
Kenny_G:

yeah its mutual, only that you cannot have two masters in a boat so someone has to be the head, and in this case its the man

Lmao, that is a straight up joke. Rule by any means necessary eh? This is just a excuse used by men in order to exercise power over women.
Re: Ladies Who Hold On To Their Father's Surname In Marriage by SALady(f): 7:31am On Nov 18, 2010
Inked_Nerd:


So, we're property eh? Sounds more like a business transaction rather than a marriage.

^^^Thanks, I was about to say the same thing, sounds more like business transaction ala obsession you know.
Re: Ladies Who Hold On To Their Father's Surname In Marriage by bkbabe97y(m): 5:11pm On Nov 18, 2010
Inked_Nerd:


Lmao, oh really? And what kind of books do you have in your collection?

You gonna have to come see it for urself. . . . wink
Re: Ladies Who Hold On To Their Father's Surname In Marriage by InkedNerd(f): 7:01pm On Nov 18, 2010
bk.babe97y:

You gonna have to come see it for urself. . . . wink

Hmmm, I think I'll pass. If I wanna see a collection of books, I'll just go to the library grin.
Re: Ladies Who Hold On To Their Father's Surname In Marriage by excoba101: 7:59pm On Nov 18, 2010
I think very soon women will also fight for kids to bear their names. yuck. Not accepting a man's name during marriage is a good start. Thumbs Up Ladies. Witches angry

May God bless our loyal mothers.
Re: Ladies Who Hold On To Their Father's Surname In Marriage by InkedNerd(f): 8:10pm On Nov 18, 2010
excoba101:

I think very soon women will also fight for kids to bear their names. yuck. Not accepting a man's name during marriage is a good start. Thumbs Up Ladies. Witches  angry

May God bless our loyal mothers.

Lmaaaaaaaoooooo, thanks for the encouragement. I and every other woman will be sure to keep your useless information in mind if/when we marry and have children. May you continue to exercise your false sense of control over women [NOT!!!].
Re: Ladies Who Hold On To Their Father's Surname In Marriage by excoba101: 8:19pm On Nov 18, 2010
Lmaaaaaaaoooooo, thanks for the encouragement. I and every other woman will be sure to keep your useless information in mind if/when we marry and have children. May you continue to exercise your false sense of control over women [NOT!!!].

Talk is free. Lets see how you plan not to take your husband's name and be married. Respect man, what are you people fighting for anyway. Are you dreaming of a day when women will be what. ?
Re: Ladies Who Hold On To Their Father's Surname In Marriage by InkedNerd(f): 8:25pm On Nov 18, 2010
excoba101:

Talk is free. Lets see how you plan not to take your husband's name and be married. Respect man, what are you people fighting for anyway. Are you dreaming of a day when women will be what.        ?

Ummm newsflash, unlike you there are men in this world who don't have a problem with it so get over yourself. Just come right out and say you want dominance over a woman don't sit here and ramble as though you've just made some miraculous point.
Re: Ladies Who Hold On To Their Father's Surname In Marriage by excoba101: 8:33pm On Nov 18, 2010
Ummm newsflash, unlike you there are men in this world who don't have a problem with it so get over yourself. Just come right out and say you want dominance over a woman don't sit her and ramble as though you've just made some miraculous point.


Where can i find these men ? Man wants dominance over woman? Has Man not been head from the beginning? It a both God's and Man's  made design altogether in agreement.

But the brain washing began somewhere along the line. A time will come when it will be gold to find a woman  who wants to remain in her true nature while other will be hanging out with perverts. I don't see that world to be a better world, i don't see those women really happy and i don't see them being able to turn things around for the better because it must have eating deep into them.

Well, this could also mean a depopulation tactic by great brains. Knowing that it will make a lot of men and women die single.
God! I love this world. cheesy
Re: Ladies Who Hold On To Their Father's Surname In Marriage by InkedNerd(f): 8:53pm On Nov 18, 2010
excoba101:


Where can i find these men ? Man wants dominance over woman? Has Man not been head from the beginning? It a both God's and Man's  made design altogether in agreement.

But the brain washing began somewhere along the line. A time will come when it will be gold to find a woman  who wants to remain in her true nature while other will be hanging out with perverts. I don't see that world to be a better world, i don't see those women really happy and i don't see them being able to turn things around for the better because it must have eating deep into them.

Well, this could also mean a depopulation tactic by great brains. Knowing that it will make a lot of men and women die single. I love this world.

God? God? Your excuse is that "God" gave you the right to be the supposed head? Just because you've either never met or don't know men like the ones I've described doesn't mean that they don't exist. That's like saying I've never seen gay people so they don't exist. All you keep saying is "you don't see this" or "you don't see that" because things don't appear in the manner that you find appealing doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Your have a preconceived notion of woman should be like are socially constructed. It doesn't exist within nature. It is a man made idea. If women thinking like this is brain washing then what do you call your socially constructed notions?And your argument about "depopulation" makes no sense. A woman not baring her husbands last name will in no way have any baring on the population on Earth. If you wanna wanna lock up your p.enis because a woman doesn't want to bear your last name then your more do so, it will in no way make a dent in the worlds population. Please go back and rethink this theory that your using because there is no sense of truth to it.

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