joywendy: @onegig. i dont know where to start. firstly am not happy with myself, i feel there is something missing in my life. i feel meaniless like i have no purpose or goal. 2nd of all, i dont feel like anyone loves me or appeciates me 4 who i am, am not sure i have friends

joywendy: @onegig. i dont know where to start. firstly am not happy with myself, i feel there is something missing in my life. i feel meaniless like i have no purpose or goal. 2nd of all, i dont feel like anyone loves me or appeciates me 4 who i am, am not sure i have friends

Ivynwa: @Joywendy I wanted to come back and post later because I am sleepy and tired after the day's work but the tone of your posts was tugging at my heart and I couldn' t go away, close my eyes and sleep peacefully with the thoughts of you being somewhere feeling terrible. I do hope that others will come along and bring on more comforting words for you. You don' t have to feel terrible like that, it is good to have friends but we should love ourself and enjoy the time we find ourselves alone without friends and family around. You shouldn't feel too depressed at such times. You can improve on yourself by reading or doing other educative & creative things okay. I don't know what it is you said you did but whatever it is remember that nobody is perfect. Stop feeling too terrible and please don' t do anything to harm yourself. I will talk to you more later okay. Take care of yourself.

joywendy: i am a 18. currently studying demography in the university.although i choose the course. i feel it not the right thing, like am going on a wrong path. i like the course and my course mates are wonderful set of people. at first i didnt want 2 study that.

onegig:

Ok...What would you have loved to study instead? Ain't demography same with statistics?


and why do you think it is the wrong path? are you struggling with some of the courses or you are scared about the career opportunities?

joywendy: no it is not the same thing. I wanted to study computer science or computer engineering.I was told back in secondary school that i was not qualified for science class so I went to art class but later I still wanted to be in science but my parent refused saying it will stress me. So I decided to stay. What scares me is the career oppurtunity ahead and will I be happy? Secondly am a shy person I have difficulty in making friends and when I finally make them they leave it so painful,really words cant explain

Making friends is a trial for shy people—geeks especially. They view it as insincere at best, manipulative at worst. They eschew networking for a variety of reasons including lack of confidence, fear of rejection and a sense of unworthiness.

If they could just relate to others more easily, if they just possessed more self-confidence and weren't such self-conscious wallflowers, the world would be their oyster, and schmoozing would be so much easier.

It is possible for shrinking violets and shy guys to master the skill of networking. They just have to realize, says Ferrazzi, that successful networking is all about building intimate, sincere relationships based on mutual generosity, not duplicity, and that they can't achieve their career goals on their own. They have to network their way to success.

If you're struggling to meet new people, here's some common-sense advice for increasing your networking mojo.
Start Small

If the idea of approaching people you don't know intimidates you, begin your networking efforts by seeking out familiar faces, such as relatives and friends.

"You can do a significant amount of valuable networking without ever having to make a cold call," says Lynne Sarikas, the director of Northeastern University's MBA Career Center. "Starting with a known [contact] instead of an unknown demystifies the [networking] process and helps get a shy person over the hurdle." A series of successful conversations will make you more confident in the process, Sarikas adds.


A logical next step after talking with friends and family is to pursue individuals who graduated from your college. Your alumni network can be a gold mine of connections, says Sarikas. It exists for the purpose of networking, so contacting an alum out of the blue shouldn't feel like a cold call. After all, they joined the network to make and take such calls.
Stop Apologizing

Introverts and inexperienced networkers often apologize when asking for an individual's help because they see networking as an imposition, not as an exercise in relationship building, says Sarikas.

"They feel like they're asking someone to do them a favor. They don't think they're worth someone else's time so they're apologizing for it," she says


Apologizing merely demonstrates your lack of professionalism and confidence. It's also annoying and juvenile. You don't have to apologize for asking for help. You don't have to apologize for wanting to learn more about the individual with whom you're networking. One day you may be able to help her out.
Tap into Your Primal Instincts

"Humans are hard-wired as communal, tribal animals, so the shy person isn't shy by nature," says Ferrazzi. "They are shy by design. Something happened to them to make them want to recoil."

Sometimes, when an introvert hears that he's not inherently a loner, that humans are innately social creatures, the realization helps him emerge from his shell of shyness, he says.

onegig:

hmm...I see. So what level are you in?

Everyone is sometime anxious about their future.....What would it bring forth?

I understand your pains...but please to move forward we need to forget about the past and it ills. Yes you would have loved to study computer science but due to one or two circumstances you couldn't make it. Career opportunities abound in the world no matter what you study..

As for your choice, do you know computer science is very easy to cross over to? what you just need is to study some professional courses and bam you are an It person. also we have had many people who studied yoruba or so many other courses but are now finance consultants and so on.

The world is interested in what you have to offer and not necessarily what course you studied in school. What you need to do now is concentrate on your present course of study and make the best out of it....When you graduate then you start worrying about career opportunities available.... When we get to that bridge we would cross it.

joywendy: yeah am about entering 200 level.thanks. I really need people I can talk I have tried and thought possible times of taking my life.

bellong:


What about your parents? Do you guys have any kind of close relationship?

If you do, please you can also talk to them. You need them more now.


It is well with you.

onegig:

hmm...I see. So what level are you in?

Everyone is sometime anxious about their future.....What would it bring forth?

I understand your pains...but please to move forward we need to forget about the past and it ills. Yes you would have loved to study computer science but due to one or two circumstances you couldn't make it. Career opportunities abound in the world no matter what you study..

As for your choice, do you know computer science is very easy to cross over to? what you just need is to study some professional courses and bam you are an It person. also we have had many people who studied yoruba or so many other courses but are now finance consultants and so on.

The world is interested in what you have to offer and not necessarily what course you studied in school. What you need to do now is concentrate on your present course of study and make the best out of it....When you graduate then you start worrying about career opportunities available.... When we get to that bridge we would cross it.

About being shy and friends leaving....




About friends leaving...You don't need them because thats why they left you....and since they left you, you don't need to beat yourself over someone else's decision. Move forward and meet new people that would add value to your life.


You can read more at this link

http://www.cio.com/article/164300/How_to_Network_12_Tips_for_Shy_People?page=2&taxonomyId=3127

joywendy: thanks so much. I feel better

stillwater: Ibkaye, how are you?

ibkaye:
Hello Stillwater! So sorry I'm just seeing this now, I'm great thanks, how about you?

stillwater:

I'm fine. Keep up the hope!

joywendy: @onegig. i dont know where to start. firstly am not happy with myself, i feel there is something missing in my life. i feel meaniless like i have no purpose or goal. 2nd of all, i dont feel like anyone loves me or appeciates me 4 who i am, am not sure i have friends

maclatunji: @Joywendy, life can be beautiful. If you commit suicide, you only cheat yourself out of the sweetness of life.

As for studying Computer Science, don't you know you can study it professionally which is mostly better than doing so academically especially in a place like Nigeria?

Just focus on achieving great results in school. Please, don't seek to be popular for the sake of it. Those you see that are "popular" are often not happy because they have very few true friends.

Ensure that you are a pleasant 18-year old girl that is focused on her future. Very soon, you will make your own genuine friends.

I really hope you are not torturing yourself over boys. At this stage of your life, you don't need it.

i_am_anonymous: Last year, I was diagnosed with MDD and was place on medications. I felt better and have since discontinued the medication. Recently, I fear that I am having another episode. I feel so terrible, the only thing keeping me is the grief I will cause my loved ones. I have talked to a trusted person about how I feel and I was encouraged. I did feel a bit better after the chat, but the thoughts still creep in.

i_am_anonymous: Last year, I was diagnosed with MDD and was place on medications. I felt better and have since discontinued the medication. Recently, I fear that I am having another episode. I feel so terrible, the only thing keeping me is the grief I will cause my loved ones. I have talked to a trusted person about how I feel and I was encouraged. I did feel a bit better after the chat, but the thoughts still creep in.

"The depressions were certainly more painful for me to experience and for friends and loved ones to witness," Forney says. "But, curiously, looking back, the manic episodes now feel rather more dangerous.

"The euphoric parts were amazing.

Finding the right medication to stabilise her moods was a long and frustrating period.
...
So, did Forney ever wonder if the medicines were making any real difference to her condition? "Of course," she says. "I think every patient with a mental illness wonders that at some point. But stopping a drug regime that appeared to be working, even if it was only coincidentally, was not a chance that I felt I could afford to take. The possibility of relapsing into manic depressive mood swings was unbearable.

Still, for Forney, facing up to the fact that she needed to remain on medication was not easy.

Godwin Ayo: I have this suicidal thoughts always in me. This as I know is because of insult, bully and the shame when people come to realize that "I DO NOT KNOW MY DAD NOR WHICH PART OF YORUBA HE'S FROM). In this condition, i need someone to advice the best idea to counter this once and for all. PLEASE HELP1

i_am_anonymous: Last year, I was diagnosed with MDD and was place on medications. I felt better and have since discontinued the medication. Recently, I fear that I am having another episode. I feel so terrible, the only thing keeping me is the grief I will cause my loved ones. I have talked to a trusted person about how I feel and I was encouraged. I did feel a bit better after the chat, but the thoughts still creep in.

Godwin Ayo: I have this suicidal thoughts always in me. This as I know is because of insult, bully and the shame when people come to realize that "I DO NOT KNOW MY DAD NOR WHICH PART OF YORUBA HE'S FROM). In this condition, i need someone to advice the best idea to counter this once and for all. PLEASE HELP1

Godwin Ayo: I have this suicidal thoughts always in me. This as I know is because of insult, bully and the shame when people come to realize that "I DO NOT KNOW MY DAD NOR WHICH PART OF YORUBA HE'S FROM). In this condition, i need someone to advice the best idea to counter this once and for all. PLEASE HELP1

i_am_anonymous: Last year, I was diagnosed with MDD and was place on medications. I felt better and have since discontinued the medication. Recently, I fear that I am having another episode. I feel so terrible, the only thing keeping me is the grief I will cause my loved ones. I have talked to a trusted person about how I feel and I was encouraged. I did feel a bit better after the chat, but the thoughts still creep in.

fungramot: Nice thread. Just just came across dis thread u guys aя̩̥̊ε̲̣̣̣̥ wonderful. I attempted suicide bfor. Feb 24 dis year τ̅☺ be precised due τ̅☺ marital or let me say mother inlaw frustration. I took local insecticide and I found myself being refered frm one hospital τ̅☺ d other and lastly open my eyes τ̅☺ found myself at UCH. I thank God a̶̲̥̅♏ alright now it did not claim my life.when there is life there is hope I bliv. Happy sunday everyone