the only mistake i made was getting married to my husband......if only i had d gift to see d future i wldnt av made such costly mistake.. the only reason i havent killed myself is d strong luv i have for my son. i am all alone in this struggle, my mother wld nt support me leaving my husband because of d financial implications nd my husband and his pple have used tht reason to make me go tru hell... if only i knew i wld av rather remained single all my life

the only mistake i made was getting married to my husband......if only i had d gift to see d future i wldnt av made such costly mistake.. the only reason i havent killed myself is d strong luv i have for my son. i am all alone in this struggle, my mother wld nt support me leaving my husband because of d financial implications nd my husband and his pple have used tht reason to make me go tru hell... if only i knew i wld av rather remained single all my life....dieing seem to b d only end to my sufferin,but i close my eyes nd see d plea on my baby's face,begging me to b alive for him...how long can my life go on this way

kkjoy: the only mistake i made was getting married to my husband......if only i had d gift to see d future i wldnt av made such costly mistake.. the only reason i havent killed myself is d strong luv i have for my son. i am all alone in this struggle, my mother wld nt support me leaving my husband because of d financial implications nd my husband and his pple have used tht reason to make me go tru hell... if only i knew i wld av rather remained single all my life....dieing seem to b d only end to my sufferin,but i close my eyes nd see d plea on my baby's face,begging me to b alive for him...how long can my life go on this way

@KK
You seem unhappy in your marriage, I hope that whatever is making you unhappy is not caused by violence and abuse. If the problem you are having isn't violence and abuse and there is a way to solve it, seek solution please. If it is, you need to give it serious attention because a woman in an abusive marriage may lose her life to it through uncontrolled emotion/anger of the abuser or even accidents in the course of the abuse etc.

If you were being asked by your mum to keep enduring a situation that is making you feel this way because of the financial implications that means that your financial dependency on him has you in a tight corner so what should be the solution, shouldn't it be you seriously finding a way (job,business,skills) to make your own money and be financially free to live your one life good and happy? Please stay alive for yourself and for your baby. If you die because a man is making you unhappy, know what? It may not get to 6 months and he will be chilling, loving and sha*ging another woman, don't let anybody make you throw away your life dearie. Stay strong and stay alive.

Ivynwa , thanks for a job welldone.
Stay lifted!

Royal Roy: Ivynwa , thanks for a job welldone.
Stay lifted!

Job well done? What Job?

Part 2? Hmmm...

Idowuogbo: Part 2? Hmmm...

What were you expecting?


i guess Part 1 got over crowded or so.

onegig:

What were you expecting?


i[b] guess Part 1 got over crowded or so.
[/b]

I c .... No problemo!

Idowuogbo:
I c .... No problemo!

We need you around here..

At least help us "bully" those feelings of depression out..

onegig:

We need you around here..

At least help us "bully" those feelings of depression out..

Hen? Bully? One week ban no b beans.

Go and read d rules.

Once bitten twice shy#

I don repent! No more Badosky.

dimples*:



Like when two lovers use their blood to make an oath that they would be together For ever!! I hear such bonds are usually binding on both parties even when they get married to someone else!!

For the record, this belief is utter rubbish. People should not create problems for themselves where there is none.

Relatively high mortality because of poor healthcare and lack of education leads people to embrace superstition even when it is obviously absurd. It happens in different places and periods.

kkjoy: the only mistake i made was getting married to my husband......if only i had d gift to see d future i wldnt av made such costly mistake.. the only reason i havent killed myself is d strong luv i have for my son. i am all alone in this struggle, my mother wld nt support me leaving my husband because of d financial implications nd my husband and his pple have used tht reason to make me go tru hell... if only i knew i wld av rather remained single all my life....dieing seem to b d only end to my sufferin,but i close my eyes nd see d plea on my baby's face,begging me to b alive for him...how long can my life go on this way

Unfortunately, there are millions of women in your condition, I know this doesn't make it easier for you but my sister, you need to dig deep. You need to find the heart of a champion from somewhere and start looking for pratical solutions.

Instead of worrying about your problems, ask yourself: what steps can I take to begin to improve my condition? That is what I do when faced with challenges- I focus on making progress step-by-step, your motto should be: keep moving forward.

You, me, everybody need to realise that life can be tough and we must brace ourselves for challenges. Why?

Gold has to pass throw fire to become the finished product.

kkjoy: the only mistake i made was getting married to my husband......if only i had d gift to see d future i wldnt av made such costly mistake.. the only reason i havent killed myself is d strong luv i have for my son. i am all alone in this struggle, my mother wld nt support me leaving my husband because of d financial implications nd my husband and his pple have used tht reason to make me go tru hell... if only i knew i wld av rather remained single all my life

I couldn't help but reach out to u. Ur post made me cry. Pls dear sis, I'm reaching out to u with all sincerity and love. I pray u can focus a bit and go tru all d posts here, they will strengthen and inspire u.
Life is full of sh*it. At time we swallow some, d ones we can't swallow, we vomit.

I lvd it when u said u wanna live for ur son. Yes! I lv that spirit! That is the only tool u need.
It seems u r financially down. Not to worry.

Now do u hv somebody u can rely on( unknown to ur pple and husband)? Tell dat person to help u look for work( probably outside ur state of residence). Spread ur tentacles and look for something to do.
Once u get something doing, secure a temporaly house and take that plunge.
Have no fear,remember,u r doing it for ur wonderful son.
Once u r out, contact social service,( if u can't easily get them, pls ask questions here)and lodge ur complain.

From there, the rest will unfold.
Like I said before,ask questions pls.
At least,if u want to go back, u and ur husband can talk the talk first.
Be determined and courageous. Some people here passed tru hell and survived to tell d story, u too can do that.
Accept my warm embrace.
May God help u.
What a world!
*sighs*

Ivynwa:

@Joywendy
Hope you are feeling much better now, friend.
You mentioned two things making you unhappy----difficulty in making friends and your wishing for computer engineering/computer science instead of the demography you chose. Have you tried changing course if you want the computer science much or is it that the SSCE reqirements are different or that your parents are bent on your not reading sciences which they said may stress you. If you want that badly, discuss more with them and try convincing them that this is what you really really want to do so that you can organize and go for it early enough as you are just in your second year unless you chose the other option of finishing with the demography first and working in that field while reading for the computer Engineering.
I think that in a case like that the decision is yours on whether to graduate first in your present course or to organize for the other course one time. I won't advise you to leave the demography course and retake Jamb, you can still retake Jamb while holding on to your present course and if you succeed with your new course can start that. There seems to be another option of switching courses at post graduate levels too.
You don't have to allow that weigh you down and give you such terrible thoughts of harming yourself over educational subjects and courses. Life is greater than courses and subjects biko. Many young persons in some countries only go to skill acquisition centers and learn such skills like welding, computer studies, music production, fashion designing, geriatric nursing and work happily with their skills.

You also have to be careful about letting what your peers in school think about so so and so courses influence your outlook or make you feel less than a person----some young persons have a way of looking down and up on different courses they consider low class or high class and looking down on people studying the low ones. Arise above all that, stay focused and remember that you are in school to equip yourself for the future and what matters is what you want not what others think.
On the part of experiencing difficulty in making friends, it is good to have friends but first cherish and love yourself to a point that you are happy with yourself when you find yourself alone. You have to study people you chose as friends first before befriending them so that you don't always end up with the ones that hurt you or leave painfully as you mentioned. When you feel like feeling depressed again, make effort to lift your mood by doing things that make you happy for example if you like music---listen to music at such times. Don't give way to sadness anymore okay Baby. Hugs to you.

I ve decided to stick to d demo probably take a course later in computer cuz rewritin jamb n changing course will be difficult as I also ve to rewite my SSCE.I will, thanks so much am better now.

Hi Tgirl4real, I will want you to look into this thread and see the msg 4 encouragement. I posted on literature but I feel the MOD there hasn't checked it out.
https://www.nairaland.com/1465573/poetry-thin-line-between-love

Thanks

dvdon: Hi Tgirl4real, I will want you to look into this thread and see the msg 4 encouragement. I posted on literature but I feel the MOD there hasn't checked it out.
https://www.nairaland.com/1465573/poetry-thin-line-between-love

Thanks

Looking into it. Feed you back soon. Thanks

am i sucidal?
maybe..
can this thread do anything than mere feel good talks?
i dont think so

Elxandre: am i sucidal?
maybe..
can this thread do anything than mere feel good talks?
i dont think so

The first step to becoming free from suicidal thoughts is to receive encouraging and soul lifting words. Do not under-estimate the power in the tongue.

Most people who came here did not just get a feel good statements but also practical solutions to their plight for those who shared their challenges.


Bring it on bro, your miracle awaits you....

Elxandre: am i sucidal?
maybe..
can this thread do anything than mere feel good talks?
i dont think so

Hahahaha...your macabre sarcasm would have been funny if you weren't suicidal. I agree that we might need to slow down on the "feel good" posts. So, I propose you take charge and tell us what the issues with the world are. Let us inter-act.

I might not respond quickly but I will try to respond no matter how long that takes. #Godwilling

Maybe this looks a minute problem but well its driving me nuts(it has actually).
I finished high school 2007 and I've been trying to get into school since to no avail.
The real problem started in my second attempt in 2008 (my 2007 PCE was never released.)
I crossed the AAU Post-ume cut off mark, but wasnt admitted!
I tried the next year but fell short, thanks to my weak ability in biology and chemistry! ( but my physics and maths is top notch).
I tried many options in the subsequen years but nothing seemed to work!
Well I met a guy online who told me about schooling in GH and I thought he was God's answer to my prayers..
I left for Ghana and started schooling there (I can say that was the best period of my life. I'm not an outgoing person though, but I loved that place).
I was studying my dream course (computer science).
I was suprised I was still intelligent though cos I was dealing with stuff I liked and knew (I could get an A in maths courses without even working hard. I never failed a course aside chinese and french which i came close to failing).
Well all of a sudden my mum had financial problems and I was in trouble cos my Dad is Irresponsible (I dont even know where he lives)
Well I couldnt write my 2nd year 1st sem exams.
And I had to come back home for christmas.
My mum then shocked me by saying I should switch to national Open univ. I was really bitter because of my emotional investment in the school (I put in all I had, studied wrote texts without course materials and even went thru hunger in that final semester).
I finally checked out the NOUN school, but was scared for my future when I discovered there were no real lectures (When I'm studying computer science! really?). The materials were even less encouraging. And I surely dont like the boring nature of distance education. (How can i just read course texbooks which are even not that quality on my own? Imagine one of the textbooks using windows 98 as a case study? It would likely lead to cramming and a half baked proffesional).
Anyways I have decided to write another jamb nxt year, but I'm just bored of my life. My mates already graduated but here I am despite being acclaimed as brilliant in high school. (I feel like a fool sometimes)
This has dragged me into an existential crisis....Does God exist and If he does, does he answer prayers?
I ask this because I prayed and prayed before I got that admission in Ghana.
If he answered my prayers, why did he let funds run out on me?
Since then I have prayed, prayed and prayed but I hve not gotten financial help to even try continue from my 200L where i stopped in GHana but ......
I'm not an ignorant! I'm a sunday school teacher sef!
Sorry for my long post, I hope you find my 'written from a samsung chat, poorly edited post worthy of your read'

Elxandre: Maybe this looks a minute problem but well its driving me nuts(it has actually).
I finished high school 2007 and I've been trying to get into school since to no avail.
The real problem started in my second attempt in 2008 (my 2007 PCE was never released.)
I crossed the AAU Post-ume cut off mark, but wasnt admitted!
I tried the next year but fell short, thanks to my weak ability in biology and chemistry! ( but my physics and maths is top notch).
I tried many options in the subsequen years but nothing seemed to work!
Well I met a guy online who told me about schooling in GH and I thought he was God's answer to my prayers..
I left for Ghana and started schooling there (I can say that was the best period of my life. I'm not an outgoing person though, but I loved that place).
I was studying my dream course (computer science).
I was suprised I was still intelligent though cos I was dealing with stuff I liked and knew (I could get an A in maths courses without even working hard. I never failed a course aside chinese and french which i came close to failing).
Well all of a sudden my mum had financial problems and I was in trouble cos my Dad is Irresponsible (I dont even know where he lives)
Well I couldnt write my 2nd year 1st sem exams.
And I had to come back home for christmas.
My mum then shocked me by saying I should switch to national Open univ. I was really bitter because of my emotional investment in the school (I put in all I had, studied wrote texts without course materials and even went thru hunger in that final semester).
I finally checked out the NOUN school, but was scared for my future when I discovered there were no real lectures (When I'm studying computer science! really?). The materials were even less encouraging. And I surely dont like the boring nature of distance education. (How can i just read course texbooks which are even not that quality on my own? Imagine one of the textbooks using windows 98 as a case study? It would likely lead to cramming and a half baked proffesional).
Anyways I have decided to write another jamb nxt year, but I'm just bored of my life. My mates already graduated but here I am despite being acclaimed as brilliant in high school. (I feel like a fool sometimes)
This has dragged me into an existential crisis....Does God exist and If he does, does he answer prayers?
I ask this because I prayed and prayed before I got that admission in Ghana.
If he answered my prayers, why did he let funds run out on me?
Since then I have prayed, prayed and prayed but I hve not gotten financial help to even try continue from my 200L where i stopped in GHana but ......
I'm not an ignorant! I'm a sunday school teacher sef!
Sorry for my long post, I hope you find my 'written from a samsung chat, poorly edited post worthy of your read'

Ok. I see you have been counting your problems and not your blessings. Don't mind me, your problems are enough to cause depression.

However, I have a question before I give any further advice. Does NOUN allow transfer? What level where you meant to start there?

Elxandre:
I left for Ghana and started schooling there (I can say that was the best period of my life. I'm not an outgoing person though, but I loved that place).
I was studying my dream course (computer science).
I was suprised I was still intelligent though cos I was dealing with stuff I liked and knew (I could get an A in maths courses without even working hard. I never failed a course aside chinese and french which i came close to failing).
Well all of a sudden my mum had financial problems and I was in trouble cos my Dad is Irresponsible (I dont even know where he lives)
Well I couldnt write my 2nd year 1st sem exams.
And I had to come back home for christmas.
My mum then shocked me by saying I should switch to national Open univ. I was really bitter because of my emotional investment in the school (I put in all I had, studied wrote texts without course materials and even went thru hunger in that final semester).
Sorry for my long post, I hope you find my 'written from a samsung chat, poorly edited post worthy of your read'

When did you leave Ghana for NOUN? Is there hope for you going back to continue from where you stopped? How much is the fees?
What skills do you have that can sell?

maclatunji:

Ok. I see you have been counting your problems and not your blessings. Don't mind me, your problems are enough to cause depression.

However, I have a question before I give any further advice. Does NOUN allow transfer? What level where you meant to start there?

I would have transferred from there buT I had a carry over because on the day of my psychology exam in 100 level, My school fees got trapped in the bank. You cant get a transcript with an IA (incomplete assessment).
So starting all over again..

bellong:

When did you leave Ghana for NOUN? Is there hope for you going back to continue from where you stopped? How much is the fees?
What skills do you have that can sell?

I left december. I could still go back, I think..
The fees? ... bout $1400 a semester
Skills? damn, this kills me. I have none due to the limited nature of my place of abode.. The only I'm truly interested in is computers. hence my studying compt science..
I use to be a super footballer back then but my people refused to buy me boots sef when I wanted to join naija's amateur league when i was 14 I even met Rashidi yekini's mentor then..

Elxandre:
I would have transferred from there buT I had a carry over because on the day of my psychology exam in 100 level, My school fees got trapped in the bank. You cant get a transcript with an IA (incomplete assessment).
So starting all over again..

Ok. I suggest that you stop looking at negatives and look at positives. What you really need to do is to understand and appreciate your position. Ask yourself:

1. Who is paying for my education?

2. How much can the person afford to pay per session?

3. Do I have other sources of income? If not, can I look at getting one ore more?

4. Can I afford NOUN fees and do some part time work for self-development as I move forward.

5. If NOUN is out of the question, am I selecting the schools that I can afford to pay their fees in JAMB?

6. Am I studying enough to pass JAMB?

Answering these questions can help you with the needed focus and direction that can help you move ahead in life.

Stop looking at problems, start looking at opportunities. Computing is very dynamic, learn the latest skills and you will be ahead of those who graduated years ago and haven't updated.

I have to run. Hope this helps.

maclatunji:

Ok. I suggest that you stop looking at negatives and look at positives. What you really need to do is to understand and appreciate your position. Ask yourself:

1. Who is paying for my education?

2. How much can the person afford to pay per session?

3. Do I have other sources of income? If not, can I look at getting one ore more?

4. Can I afford NOUN fees and do some part time work for self-development as I move forward.

I've thought about all these,
School fees in 9ja are mostly affordable, so there shouldn't be a problem with that..
NOUN fees? I dont thinks thats a problem..But I'm looking at the positives such as the time i would get to do other things..
But, I dont just like their system.. and their materials too.. How can there not be comprehensive practicals for a compt. sci student? I sincerely dont like the read at home stuff too.(Its desperately boring for me.) As its not by going to school but what you get from it. And I dont want to rue any desperate decision I make today.
And talking about jamb too, Is it easy to start reading a chemistry you never understood and wont even need for Jamb too? or answering biology questions in post UME after being a 200l student?
You cant understand all these, except you get hit urself.
Its a stalemate...
but I'd try to win..
Thanks though for reducing your keyboard/touchscreen lifespan just to help me out..

Elxandre:
I left december. I could still go back, I think..
The fees? ... bout $1400 a semester
Skills? damn, this kills me. I have none due to the limited nature of my place of abode.. The only I'm truly interested in is computers. hence my studying compt science..
I use to be a super footballer back then but my people refused to buy me boots sef when I wanted to join naija's amateur league when i was 14 I even met Rashidi yekini's mentor then..

How much is the NOUN school fees? Can you start by taking computer certification courses?

Elxandre, I love your sense of humour . It is quite commendable that you haven't lost that despite your challenges. You are in God's plan and things can only get better. How do I know this? I have gone through worse in the past and looking back now, I really thank God for that period of my life although it didnt make sense to me then.

Elxandre:
I've thought about all these,
School fees in 9ja are mostly affordable, so there shouldn't be a problem with that..
NOUN fees? I dont thinks thats a problem..But I'm looking at the positives such as the time i would get to do other things..
But, I dont just like their system.. and their materials too.. How can there not be comprehensive practicals for a compt. sci student? I sincerely dont like the read at home stuff too.(Its desperately boring for me.) As its not by going to school but what you get from it. And I dont want to rue any desperate decision I make today.
And talking about jamb too, Is it easy to start reading a chemistry you never understood and wont even need for Jamb too? or answering biology questions in post UME after being a 200l student?
You cant understand all these, except you get hit urself.
Its a stalemate...
but I'd try to win..
Thanks though for reducing your keyboard/touchscreen lifespan just to help me out..

You are still looking at negatives. You will have to make a choice. Don't be put off by a few course materials you saw from NOUN. I have people attending it and you might be surprised at the kinds of exposure they get.

Even in conventional schools you might be taught archaic stuff. Self-development is key.

Let me tell you the truth: life isn't always pretty. If you allow disappointments unnerve you, you would have failed where others triumphed. Keep working, look at the positives and fight to succeed.

Yeah, I understand all these, but something just seems to be wrong. No matter how i try to bring myself to like the school, I just cant.
I just keep getting this hunch that this attending NOUN wont end well!
Its crazy really..It looks like the simplest decision to make, but it baffles me how i cant just do it..
I'm quite strong hearted and overcome even difficult stuff in maybe 3 weeks, but I'm shocked i could be floored for 10 months..

^Maybe you don't want to attend school. If anybody told you life is about doing the things you like, they lied to you. You don't have to attend NOUN if you don't want to. However, you had better have something worthwhile as a replacement.

Don't be self-defeatist in life. Always move forward, when obstacles come your way, you will face them.

Elxandre: Yeah, I understand all these, but something just seems to be wrong. No matter how i try to bring myself to like the school, I just cant.
I just keep getting this hunch that this attending NOUN wont end well!
Its crazy really..It looks like the simplest decision to make, but it baffles me how i cant just do it..
I'm quite strong hearted and overcome even difficult stuff in maybe 3 weeks, but I'm shocked i could be floored for 10 months..

If your real interest is in writing JAMB again, I don't think you should have a problem making a good score. Devote time to chemistry, and make up for it in Physics and Maths.
However, I don't think you have to re-write JAMB. You just have to be more positive with NOUN to make something out of nothing. I thought NOUN's fees will be same with the Ghana school, so I was wondering why the change.
As earlier noted, write computer certifications to make add to whatever you get from NOUN. Try to rediscover the passion within you.

Challenges of life are meant to bring out the gold in us. Gold cannot be appreciated except it passes through fire.