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How To Manage Domestic Violence In A Relationship - Romance - Nairaland

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Whats With Fat Ladies, Insecurity And Violence In A Relationship!! / Domestic Violence And Relationships / Stella Damasus: Domestic Violence, When Is It Enough? (2) (3) (4)

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How To Manage Domestic Violence In A Relationship by DExplorer1: 4:33pm On Jul 31, 2013
Not all terrible men want to remain terrible. Not all abusive men like what they do. Many can’t just control themselves at the climax of anger but you wouldn’t blame them since you have no slightest knowledge of their growing up. You don’t know their experiences; what made them who you have as a partner. Dear readers, permit me to be the advocate. In just 5 different cases I’ve witnessed, the larger ratio tells that ladies are mostly victims of the menace though there are cases of ladies hitting their men. One thing is clear - everything that makes us who we are is a combination of too many factors or influences. After the processes are done and we are made, we get to meet another kind of us; that underwent different processes and now made. Then we seek to form a relationship. For instance, I particularly don’t like nagging: I’d prefer to be calm and work out my solutions. Then, if somewhere, a lady was raised in a home where her mother nags and rants to her father and she probably got affected by the ‘virus’, and after several years we get to meet, we just might not have a balanced relationship except we help ourselves. In my write-up, How to Save a Dying Relationship , I made it clear that leaving our partners because of certain imperfection and making new ones isn’t the easiest way to comfort. Change, though sometimes almost impossible but inevitable if it’s sponsored by the right person. There is always a right person to make people change! The person may or may not be you. Negative habits or certain character came to be via contrary influence and with the right person; these things can still change via positive influence. If you are experiencing abuse in your relationship and at some point your partner does feel remorse for his or her action, that’s a platform for change. Now, how do you get at it?

KNOW THE MINUS
The minus is what makes him or her incomplete to you. It’s your partner’s dark-side that makes you sad. It’s what he does that hurts you all the time – what you think you can’t accept her doing. It’s still what we are about to address; what I believe can be influenced. You have to identify this though it’s nothing hidden. Make a target and desire to effect a gradual change in that area. Just as I always say, for everyone you meet out there, there is always something wrong with them – something you’d easily say “I just can’t take that” . . . but there’s someone ready to manage it and see it fade away. If what get him angry are your late hours, try to be on time. If what always gets her mad is your lack of communication, identify the minus and help it.

AVOID THE MINUS
At this, you need to be careful of what powers the situation. What propels domestic violence in a relationship is always uncontrolled anger. Maybe he get pissed off easily, maybe she gets irritated at everything, identify it. Avoid what sponsors the situation. While you’re on the change process, try avoiding makes your partner angry. He might not like placing things on his TV set; it just might be a particular place or something not to place somewhere. He beats you, well that’s wrong, but you talk too much. Watch it! There are certain things you have identified as the cause, avoid it. Is it a kind of dress he doesn’t like you wearing? Must his dinner be ready at 7pm? Should you worship at the same place with him? These things, though little but not avoided, does gravitate into violence since each person would claim to be right. 2 years ago, I counseled a couple on a silly case that resulted into a slap on the woman’s face. Don’t be too quick to tagged fighting couples as immature, the fact is, at the face of anger, no one is matured. It just has to be restrained yet it still doesn’t make you matured until it becomes a part of you. The case of this couple looks silly but the outcome was not. In brief, what sponsored the ugly situation was a toothpaste. The man wants it pressed from the bottom, the woman have always been pressing her toothpaste from the top. That was how it started! These are little things that mean a lot.

AVOID EXTENSIVE ARGUMENT
So many ladies find it difficult to do this. Your continuous argument does not make you right neither will it pass your message across to him. In fact, at the point of intense argument, nothing is learnt! Everyone is wrong! Try and avoid it. The endpoint of extensive argument in a relationship is always nothing-good. It could power the unexpected. You actually don’t have to take it that far before you keep quiet. When misunderstanding turns into argument, keep it short and free yourself of the unexpected. Remember, it doesn’t make you the right person. Silence is wisdom!

WITH THE RIGHT PERSON, EITHER A MAN OR A WOMAN CAN BE INFLUENCED
You could make yourself the right person or get out of his/her life. It’s just a decision! Everyone could succumb to positive influence. If you make yourself the right person, things wouldn’t be as difficult as you make it. It’s good you have a choice at this point and if you’ve got the courage to stand and change your partner, it’s possible – just position yourself to be the right person. Sometimes, we need to carefully consider our quick judgment to present situations. How did they come about? Who made them? Your friends that is silent about their relationship problems and not telling you so that you can assume they’re having a good time? Your mother that’s probably out of her own marriage? Your father that married four wives? Who is telling you what to do? Friend, you can choose to be the right person and consider managing the situation if you’ve got the courage.

BE PATIENT
Well, if you see this as a lost virtue, try and buy it back. The whole process of getting into a new relationship might just be equivalent to the years of your impatience. At the same time, don’t endure domestic violence because of certain benefits or gains, read 16 Raw Truth Ladies Must Know it could be dangerous except you choose to be the right person – it’s a sensitive and possible mission! Not every situation of domestic violence result to break-up or divorce. Some of these people actually want to change – they were not made to be aggressive! A part in them needs to be connected to; a part that can affect their whole - it needs to be influenced. We all got our soft spots, be patient and connect to it. Wait for or create a blissful atmosphere to discuss your worries with your partner. Make them know your pains. It’s unfortunate that feminism has brought so many troubles into relationships. A situation where a woman believes she’s equal to her man has made submission absent in relationships. Patient still works and it can as well work for you. Remember, everyone is terrible at something; it takes only the right person to make them look perfect.

http://www.coachdexplorer.com/2013/07/how-to-manage-domestic-violence-in.html

3 Likes

Re: How To Manage Domestic Violence In A Relationship by freecocoa(f): 4:41pm On Jul 31, 2013
You are basically saying, one should walk on eggshells and make sure it doesn't crack.

Odikwa nma.

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Re: How To Manage Domestic Violence In A Relationship by MariaGoretti: 5:06pm On Jul 31, 2013
really? Uncle D, God didnt make me to come deal with such man. He loves me so much.....so, if any man who falls under that category comes my way, am gonna show him the way out....be patient? Jeez, man don finish for this earth?

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Re: How To Manage Domestic Violence In A Relationship by Nobody: 5:19pm On Jul 31, 2013
Fnk God i didn't read dat!!!

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Re: How To Manage Domestic Violence In A Relationship by Speakdatruth: 8:19pm On Jul 31, 2013
ok na sum women luv dia guyz die
Re: How To Manage Domestic Violence In A Relationship by Nobody: 10:01pm On Jul 31, 2013
Ain't no way i'm reading dt, der's nothing to manage in an abusive relationship. If he needs help with his madness, he should see a psychiatrist. cool

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Re: How To Manage Domestic Violence In A Relationship by xynerise: 10:45pm On Jul 31, 2013
Patience has made some women lose their lives in the hands of these ill tempered men. Patience has made some men got poisoned by their wives/girlfriends. Patience has also made some children become promiscuous due to poor parental care. Patience is also a problem my brother.


These days, you dont need to be patient to survive.

RUN!! If possible

6 Likes

Re: How To Manage Domestic Violence In A Relationship by Sanboy25: 10:51pm On Jul 31, 2013
Good to know, thanks. smiley
Re: How To Manage Domestic Violence In A Relationship by Nobody: 10:58pm On Jul 31, 2013
brotha D
so learning to SHUT THE FUKC UP (excuse my French) is not a very important point for arguing couples? many people wouldnt even fight if someone would stick by this simple rule. also, accepting and realising your mistake by saying "I AM SORRY I WAS WRONG" is a huge part of what leads to domestic violence.

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Re: How To Manage Domestic Violence In A Relationship by Nobody: 1:40pm On Aug 02, 2013

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Re: How To Manage Domestic Violence In A Relationship by Nobody: 1:41pm On Aug 02, 2013
see, leave all these things. those who want to hear and be safe will hear. some are just sadists, like my ex, i tell you

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Re: How To Manage Domestic Violence In A Relationship by ProfessorPP(m): 1:45pm On Aug 02, 2013
With GOD every good thin is possible. cheesy
Re: How To Manage Domestic Violence In A Relationship by 1ndidi2(f): 1:46pm On Aug 02, 2013
I want to know if there are signs to know a man who might become violent?

For instance,this guy I know gets annoyed easily and then starts using curse words, a lot of feck u.stupid,idiot,senselenss etc!! He seems to have a lot of angst in him! D next few minutes he is apologising,soon again he is cursing!!! Yet he keeps saying he can never hit a woman. But the way he talks leaves som1 scared in wonder.
Re: How To Manage Domestic Violence In A Relationship by Fazhy: 1:56pm On Aug 02, 2013
AVOID EXTENSIVE ARGUMENT

This remains the key.

Re: How To Manage Domestic Violence In A Relationship by towieboy: 1:59pm On Aug 02, 2013
1ndidi2: I want to know if there are signs to know a man who might become violent?

For instance,this guy I know gets annoyed easily and then starts using curse words, a lot of feck u.stupid,idiot,senselenss etc!! He seems to have a lot of angst in him! D next few minutes he is apologising,soon again he is cursing!!! Yet he keeps saying he can never hit a woman. But the way he talks leaves som1 scared in wonder.

All the F words will soon turn to slapping and punching. A word is enough for the wise.

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Re: How To Manage Domestic Violence In A Relationship by sale1: 2:00pm On Aug 02, 2013
How to shut a woman up is only by a deep kiss.

1 Like

Re: How To Manage Domestic Violence In A Relationship by Nobody: 2:00pm On Aug 02, 2013
1ndidi2: I want to know if there are signs to know a man who might become violent?

For instance,this guy I know gets annoyed easily and then starts using curse words, a lot of feck u.stupid,idiot,senselenss etc!! He seems to have a lot of angst in him! D next few minutes he is apologising,soon again he is cursing!!! Yet he keeps saying he can never hit a woman. But the way he talks leaves som1 scared in wonder.

Just be careful. He could be violent coz that's how they start, temper
Re: How To Manage Domestic Violence In A Relationship by Daresh(f): 2:01pm On Aug 02, 2013
freecocoa: You are basically saying, one should walk on eggshells and make sure it doesn't crack.

Odikwa nma.

Exactly!
Re: How To Manage Domestic Violence In A Relationship by AwesomeRomeo: 2:04pm On Aug 02, 2013
You can not call it relationship if there is violence. I can't fight or beat someone i love.
Re: How To Manage Domestic Violence In A Relationship by chymystique(f): 2:05pm On Aug 02, 2013
I can't Manage or Tolerate Domestic Violence in any of ma relationships... Instead I Quit!.. Shikena

3 Likes

Re: How To Manage Domestic Violence In A Relationship by vm26: 2:14pm On Aug 02, 2013
alutacontinua: Ain't no way i'm reading dt, der's nothing to manage in an abusive relationship. If he needs help with his madness, he should see a psychiatrist. cool



i agree totally.why should u stick up with a selfish person.is that true love because if there is true love then the abusive person should show it thru respect you as an adult and a human being.there is no excuse for being violent and domestic violence.when you start keeping quiet about issues because you are avoiding a fight then seriously you RE IN THE WRONG PALACE .Those ABUSERS are plain bullies if one takes a closer look at the reasons why they fight with their partners.pple who do not want other peoples opinions and low self esteemed selfish bigots who want to raise themselves up through stepping on other people's shoulders angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angrythey need to be left alone and look for violent partners so that they cn continue with their boxing thirst instead hurting good people around them.violence affects the victims and the children around.why should such bastards be understood.let them be lonely and then they will learn that a results to b fullstop.if you are violent noone will stick up with you.jus like if u commit a crime yo end is prison simple

1 Like

Re: How To Manage Domestic Violence In A Relationship by ponco: 2:14pm On Aug 02, 2013
Here are signs of domestic violence in a relationship and how to deal with it. Most cases the best solution to domestic violence is to quit.

http://www.elijahforce..com/2013/02/signs-of-abusive-relationship.html
Re: How To Manage Domestic Violence In A Relationship by Neaman(m): 2:15pm On Aug 02, 2013
Unfortunately, PEOPLE that are not compatible..are not COMPATIBLE.
Re: How To Manage Domestic Violence In A Relationship by ireneidiva(f): 2:17pm On Aug 02, 2013
Pls men/women are plenty. Run for you life and ignore this thread!

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Re: How To Manage Domestic Violence In A Relationship by kliq(m): 2:42pm On Aug 02, 2013
obadiah777:
nice 1...doin it d oda way round...lol
@topic...manage it in a relationship or a marriage? Really not necessary tryin to nurture/manage it in a relationship wen u have enuff room to slide away...speakin for d ladies...for me;not a woman beater sha
Re: How To Manage Domestic Violence In A Relationship by Sepp360(m): 2:45pm On Aug 02, 2013
Maria-Goretti:
really? Uncle D, God didnt make me to come deal with such man. He loves me so much.....so, if any man who falls under that category comes my way, am gonna show him the way out....be patient? Jeez, man don finish for this earth?
.. Yhu can't learn!

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Re: How To Manage Domestic Violence In A Relationship by vivianc(f): 3:17pm On Aug 02, 2013
Pls don't manage, RUN!!!!!!!!
Re: How To Manage Domestic Violence In A Relationship by Nobody: 3:18pm On Aug 02, 2013
OP if I say you are stupid now they will say I am harsh domestic violence can never be managed ok? My mom kissed my dad's Ass but still he beats her, am a product of a violence filled home and I can tell you 100% that a wife/husband beater can never change.

2 Likes

Re: How To Manage Domestic Violence In A Relationship by nous(f): 3:22pm On Aug 02, 2013
Harbosede02: Fnk God i didn't read dat!!!

loool. I didn't read it too, but from the comments I am happy that I didn't read it
Re: How To Manage Domestic Violence In A Relationship by mrfatimoh(m): 3:26pm On Aug 02, 2013
Maria-Goretti:
really? Uncle D, God didnt make me to come deal with such man. He loves me so much.....so, if any man who falls under that category comes my way, am gonna show him the way out....be patient? Jeez, man don finish for this earth?

Bravooooo! man never finish my dearest sis.But let me tell you that,in any divorce situation,there are usually two major casualities:the children and the woman herself.If its a man of means,he hardly misses anything.In fact to some its an opportunity for him to marry a younger,fresher(you know what I mean) and more beautiful replacement.Even the bible acknowledges the wisdom and value of any woman who makes her home/marriage a successful one.A briddled tongue,little patience,submissiveness and mutual respect might be what a woman needs to make her home work.To me ,these are not sacrifices that are too much to make,when you look at the global picture.Be wise.

1 Like

Re: How To Manage Domestic Violence In A Relationship by vivianc(f): 3:28pm On Aug 02, 2013
@spongeback: I dont think you are that different from your dad. you are verbally abusive which is a recipe for physical abuse. you can always disagree with him without insulting him.

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