eldee:

First of all, I've told you before, I cannot be brought down to the level of slugging out words with you
The whole of Nairaland knows who the fool is, so I'll just skip that. . .

But thank goodness you actually made a point here, maybe you need to understand that there's a difference between education and exposure.

1. They know of course.
2. In that case, you can't blame these women because as you have said when an illiterate is given an opportunity he'll misuse it. Why not make sure your wife is properly educated before you bring her here? if she eventually comes and takes on the bad side of the country, you can't blame anybody but yourself. Get this right!

@uche2nna and sly

see ya heads,bad boys,na only to dey fight una sabi for dis forum them no go fight so una referee work no dey needed naw ;

amber_ella:

due to the fact that I ended up marrying one of those African classmates of mine, I then became exposed to pretty much every Nigerian or Ghanian at the school, and many outside the school (you know how it is - small world).

I admit that my sample size isn't large enough to make statistical inference. But it's large enough for me to have formed an opinion.

Perhaps it wasn't the reason they left in the first place, but it's certainly the reason they're in no hurry to reunite!

There U go again drawing baseless conclusions

michelin89:

1. They know of course.
2. In that case, you can't blame these women because as you have said when an illiterate is given an opportunity he'll misuse it. Why not make sure your wife is properly educated before you bring her here? if she eventually comes and takes on the bad side of the country, you can't blame anybody but yourself. Get this right!

Why, if I may ask, do you assume I'm married?
As I said, it's backward thinking men that practice this, my point is, you can't blame them.

As I said before, when she comes here, there's a constant battle between her ethics and the exposure to the new environment.
You can't control those factors

An educated lady in Nigeria sees divorce as an abomination, compare them to the ones here.

The norms are different, they get to meet different people, they get new ideas into their heads, and there's no soceity to correct them
That's the difference. . .

@nalijah

I think you should change your title to "Why don't some Nigerian Men Bring Their Wives Abroad"

I'm sure you have met Nigerian men with their wives in the states.

It'll be like me asking - Why don't American black men recognize and take care of their children or
be a father to their children.

I have been in the U.S. for over 10 years and I have met too many black people whose fathers did not have
any role to play whatsoever in their upbringing. I'm sure you can probably relate to this.

@poster,

abi u want make she begin dey see your long thing as inferior compared to that of the white men?

forget story

@ Uche

I tire for amber oh.

it is THE reason they are in no hurry to reunite? What about the kids in school? the wife's job and all that? What about the cost of a home for them to live in the US? No all those reasons are not important at all, it is simply having sex that is stopping them.

One would think that men in Nigeria cannot cheat - a country where they can marry as many as they please. I guess it is IMPOSSIBLE for them to cheat in Nigeria hence the need to run to America to be able to sleep with any woman they want. I wonder how you reach these silly conclusions.

eldee:

Why, if I may ask, do you assume I'm married?
As I said, it's backward thinking men that practice this, my point is, you can't blame them.

As I said before, when she comes here, there's a constant battle between her ethics and the exposure to the new environment.
You can't control those factors

An educated lady in Nigeria sees divorce as an abomination, compare them to the ones here.

The norms are different, they get to meet different people, they get new ideas into their heads, and there's no soceity to correct them
That's the difference. . .

My "you" is generic. I can't be using the impersonal passive form all the time.

1. I'll blame them when they insist on living with their ignorance. it can't be a valid justification.

2. There are some rules that are objective and believe me no woman gains anything from destroying her marriage. I am sure making an unhappy home is not in the agenda of any wife if she hasn't herself decided to put an end to it. Tell me don't you think that those women who take on the bad sides had already decided back home to call quits as soon as they had arrived abroad? Why do you think all do what they do because of ignorance? A lot of these wives might have different plans which don't include staying married to that man when she gets there.

3. I'll rather say it's the contrary. An educated woman knows more than considering an unfruitful marriage worth her life. Unless she derives some benefits from staying with an unworthy husband and is already getting what she wants elsewhere, i don't see any educated women throwing her life away in the name of marriage.

4. Who tells you that the Americans haven't got a society? Where there are men, there is always a society. Just because they don't share your values doesn't make them less than any African society. And if I am to express my opinion, I'll say I prefer the western society simply because they don't fake. Ours is made mainly of appearance and only on the surface do strong moral standards transpire. The deeper we go the more we see that corruption and delinquency has eaten us up. Nothing so special about hypocrisy!

debosky:

@ Uche

I tire for amber oh.

it is THE reason they are in no hurry to reunite? What about the kids in school? the wife's job and all that? What about the cost of a home for them to live in the US? No all those reasons are not important at all, it is simply having sex that is stopping them.

One would think that men in Nigeria cannot cheat - a country where they can marry as many as they please. I guess it is IMPOSSIBLE for them to cheat in Nigeria hence the need to run to America to be able to sleep with any woman they want. I wonder how you reach these silly conclusions.

sharrrrraaaaaapppppppppppppppppp jo!!

debosky:

@ Uche

I tire for amber oh.

it is THE reason they are in no hurry to reunite? What about the kids in school? the wife's job and all that? What about the cost of a home for them to live in the US? No all those reasons are not important at all, it is simply having sex that is stopping them.

One would think that men [b]in Nigeria cannot cheat - a country where they can marry as many as they please. I guess it is IMPOSSIBLE for them to cheat in Nigeria hence the need to run to America to be able to sleep with any woman they want. I wonder how you reach these silly conclusions.[/b]

They know say, if na America dem dey, the woman nor go wait make relatives come settle the matter. Nor be west we dey talk about? She go buzz am!

buzyDiva:

sharrrrraaaaaapppppppppppppppppp jo!!

You too shaaarap! and stop making noise!

@ Texcee

I knew I'd get one.

Thanks for proving me right!!

debosky:

Many reasons - some cannot afford to have their wives and kids in the US, some don't want to uproot their family and have them living in a foreign country, but would rather the family have a stable base at home in Nigeria.

Another reason is, many of them have tried and been denied by immigration authorities due to reasons like insufficient finances, or some fraudulent information they may have filled in their initial visa applications. Some of them may not even have legal status in the US and so cannot invite anyone to come stay with them.

I believe you have only met a FEW men with this warped thinking, or they are saying that to cover up some other problems which they may not want to share with you.

it should also be said that some of them will not bring their wives so they can be freely promiscuous in the US, but those would be in the minority in my view.

You are very correct