Roommate Sees Red As He Looses Joystick To Woman
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Just before we start exam this semester a newly married couple packed into our neighbourhood. It was actually the one room next to our room they packed in. My roommate, Dogo, admired the wife praising her beauty and wishing he was the husband. Two days after they packed in, the husband died.

Read more: http://njuwo..com/2014/11/roommate-sees-red-as-he-looses-joystick.html?m=1

Nigeria Doctor That Repairs People Instead Of Treating Them
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My grandfather had a problem and complained to a doctor. What exactly is wrong with you sir! The doctor asked. Doctor I'm scared, he said, and told him that his fart don't smell, and they are silent all the time.

Read more: http://njuwo..com/2014/11/nigeria-doctor-that-repairs-people.html?m=1

Why You Cannot Be Able To Read Your Books As A Student
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You cannot be able to read your books as a student because, a year has 365 days for you to read them. After taking away 52 Sundays, only 313 days will be left. Erm, there are 50 days in dry season and it is too hot to read your books then so there will be only 263 days left.

Read more: http://njuwo..com/2014/11/why-you-cannot-be-able-to-read-your.html?m=1

Warri King Servant Mistakes Toilet For A Well In America
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Some years ago, the King of my community, Otortor 1 of Warri Kingdom was privileged to visit the United State. He was invited by the then president Bill Clinton, and he went with his loyal servant Onyiuke.

Read more: http://njuwo..com/2014/11/warri-king-servant-mistakes-toilet-for.html?m=1

Pastor's Sermon Leads Member To Sin
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On sunday November 2nd 2014, as soon as church service was over. As I was going home I branched a supermarket. I went inside and was just patrolling, walking round the supermarket.

Read more: http://njuwo..com/2014/11/pastors-sermon-leads-member-to-sin.html?m=1

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Evil Comedian Episode 11
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I mean what I said, you don't know what you want to see. Lindiway replied. I don't know what I want to see as how? Ofego asked. You must pay my bride price before you see my parents. Lindiway said. For what? Ofego screamed. Ahn, ahn, don't you want to see my parents again? Pay my bride price and I'll take you them.

Read more: http://njuwo..com/2014/11/evil-comedian-episode-11.html?m=1

Ways To Market Yourself Into Marriage For Girls Only
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Hey baby, are you in your late 30s approaching menopause and tired of being single? Then this write up is for you. As soon as you finish reading this and try it out, your wedding will be this saturday.

Read more: http://njuwo..com/2014/11/ways-to-market-yourself-into-marriage.html?m=1

Even Dogs Wants To Be Somebody In Life
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I travelled to visit my first cousin for the first time since he relocated to Lagos years ago. It has been long we saw each other, you need to see the smiles on his face.

Read more: http://njuwo..com/2014/11/even-dogs-wants-to-be-somebody-in-life.html?m=1

Man Rose Up From The Dead And Accuse Man That Came To Eat Rice In His Burial Of Killing Him
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I was invited to a burial ceremony. Before the funeral service we were all made to line up and go pay our last respect one after the other to the deceased in one room. As one person goes in, the door will be locked for him to pay his last respect.

Read more: http://njuwo..com/2014/11/man-rose-up-from-dead-and-accuse-man.html?m=1

AKPOS JOKE - JAMB
Papa Akpos: Akpos,I learnt your JAMB result is out.
Akpos: Daddy You remember John wey dey carry first
for our whole school? he failed… Papa Akpos: that’s
terrible,what happened? Akpos: You also remember
Paul wey dey teach me for house? He failed too. Papa
Akpos: what’s causing the poor performance? Akpos:
Daddy I don’t know, na so e be o. Even Kelvin who
won the Cowbell competition failed too. Papa Akpos:
so how was your own result? Akpos: You also
remember OKON, our senior prefect? He failed. Papa
Akpos: (Angrily) Boy, Tell me about your own result!!
Akpos : (angrily) If all those people failed, wetin You
expect for my own result?? I be witch? ONE WORD
FOR AKPOS??!! Like our facebook page @ facebook.com/gistflip to get more

Landlord Pronounced Himself Dead At Birthday Ceremony
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I was doing my birthday in our compound and invited my Landlord and a whole lot of dignitaries. The creme 'd' lacreme of comedy in Nigeria including Ali Baba the king of comedy were all present.

Read more: http://njuwo..com/2014/11/landlord-pronounced-himself-dead-at.html?m=1

Uncle Charles Babe Not Scared Of His Predicament
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Uncle Charles was in his brand new camry with his new girlfriend coming back from shopping at shoprite Ikeja. As he drove, he stares at her, and on the road minute by minute. Why are you staring at me? You think I'm not seeing you, you have been staring at me since we started driving, what is it Charles? The girl asked.

Read more: http://njuwo..com/2014/11/uncle-charles-babe-not-scared-of-his.html?m=1

This Girl Embarrased Me And She Got This In Return
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I tried wooing the girl who sat beside me in a BRT bus. The bus was overcrowded. As I professed my feelings to her she kept debunking them but I continued.

Read more: http://njuwo..com/2014/11/this-girl-embarrased-me-and-she-got.html?m=1

MTN Has Killed Me ooo!!!!
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I am in love with this girl called Rosita in our department but I'm afraid to tell her. Around 10pm last night I gathered mind and sent her a text message; Rosita I love you, I want to be your boyfriend. Please reply and tell me how you feel. As I was about keeping my phone I received a text message.

Read more: http://njuwo..com/2014/11/mtn-has-killed-me-ooo.html?m=1

Evil Comedian Episode 12
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Ofego ran round looking for the money to pay Lindiway's bride price. Bride price then was just 500 Naira. Ofego asked from friends and course mates, none had the money to give to him. He thought of going to Bobo but that would be like a blind man going to ask a deaf man for money.

Read more: http://njuwo..com/2014/11/evil-comedian-episode-12.html?m=1

Pastor Wants To Repent Again
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I was invited to a church in the surburb of Warri for thanksgiving. The pastor preached about repentance and at the end of the preaching, he asked if anyone wants to give his life to Christ. He said the person should stand up and come out to the altar so that he will pray for the person. Nobody came out.

Read more: http://njuwo..com/2014/11/pastor-wants-to-repent-again.html?m=1

The Day My Grandpa Who Rears Animals Was Shocked By The Animals
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Grand Daddy was out with his cows grazing at a secondary school field. He was accompanied by his pet dog Mono. He beats the cows continuously with a stick to hasten their movement. Old man, there is God o!

Read more: http://njuwo..com/2014/11/the-day-my-grandpa-who-rears-animals.html?m=1

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How I Chased A Girl To Compliment Her
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Saw a girl this morning while I was clearing our gutter putting on only a boxer short. I ran after this girl suddenly. The girl seeing me coming thought I was a lunatic coming to attack her.

Read more: http://njuwo..com/2014/11/how-i-chased-girl-to-compliment-her.html?m=1

[quote author=njuwo post=27737700]Even Dogs Wants To Be Somebody In Life
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I travelled to visit my first cousin for the first time since he relocated to Lagos years ago. It has been long we saw each other, you need to see the smiles on his face.


[img]http://2.bp..com/-NGKbCfumGw0/VFxzV9TPg7I/AAAAAAAAAFE/mb8FWFmaQrI/s1600/Taatata.jpg[/img]

A Friend's Marriage Nearly Broken By English
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I met an old friend at a polling unit when I went voting at the just concluded local government elections. We talked, laughed, and gisted. We hadn't seen each other for close to twenty years until that day.

Read more: http://njuwo..com/2014/11/a-friends-marriage-nearly-broken-by.html?m=1

When You Want To Make Night Call You Mistakenly Flashed MTN Takes Away 1 Naira
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My brother bought MTN 100 Naira recharge card one evening and told me he wants to use it to call a girl he had been tracking, on night call which starts by 12:30am. As he finished loading the card that evening. He went to charge the phone.

Read more: http://njuwo..com/2014/11/when-you-want-to-make-night-call-you.html?m=1

Wife Calls Herself Ugly Making Man To Realise He Married An Ugly Woman After Years Of Marriage
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Deep in the heart of the Kalahari where civilisation has not yet taken place, I lost a mirror there when I went visiting.

Read more: http://njuwo..com/2014/11/wife-calls-herself-ugly-making-man-to.html?m=1

lol dunny jokes

lol funny jokes

What I Did To My Wife For Putting On The Same Trouser With Me
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A friend bought a car so I went to drink with him. I came back home at midnight and tapped on the door. Mama baby my wife, shouted from inside the house telling me to go back to where I am coming from. In my own house, who gave this woman wings, I thought and shouted back; Come on, open the door.

Read more: http://njuwo..com/2014/11/what-i-did-to-my-wife-for-putting-on.html?m=1

The Real People Stealing Nigeria's Money
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While a robbery was in progress in the apex bank of Nigeria in Abuja, one of the bank robbers in the bank shouted to everybody; Don't move. The money belongs to Nigeria. Your life belongs to you. Everybody in the bank lied down shivering and quiet.

Read more: http://njuwo..com/2014/11/the-real-people-stealing-nigerias-money.html?m=1

While Trying To See If His Pregnant Wife Has Put To Bed Husband Sees What He Shouldn't See
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Uncle Charles was in India with his wife on a visit when she went into labour. She was rushed to an hospital by the hotel staffs. My uncle was made to remain at the hotel till his wife puts to bed.

Read more: http://njuwo..com/2014/11/while-trying-to-see-if-his-pregnant.html?m=1

Why You Should Not Look For A Job
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I was sitting down on a plastic chair under an orange tree one hot afternoon. My wife came out of the house. Why don't you just go back to school and study? She asked.

Read more: http://njuwo..com/2014/11/why-you-should-not-look-for-job.html?m=1

THE LEARNED DOGS
There was a rich man who lived with his nephew(Akpos) in a very dangerous neighbourhood. Occasionally, thieves burgled their house and stole from them. This happened for a while until one day, Akpos suggested the idea of buying foreign breed dogs to his uncle. Eagerly, the uncle accepted the idea and ordered for 3 different breeds of foreign dogs(rotweiller, german shepherd and dobberman). It wasn't long and the dogs were delivered and the man employed a dog trainer to train the dogs. One day, Akpos was coming back from the warehouse where he went to sell some goods, on entering his uncles compound, he saw Mark(the dog trainer) commanding the dogs in different Languages while his uncle was by the side nodding in pleasure and full satisfaction. Disappointed, Akpos approached his uncle and a dialogue ensued...
Uncle: Akpos, are you back? How was the sales?
Akpos: bros e! Market gel wella...ehen, bros, na wetin una dey do so? *frowning*
Uncle: Mark is teaching the dogs english and other languages...
Akpos: choi, bros u don fall hand, dis tin wey u dey do get side effect o
Uncle: how do you mean, boy?
Akpos: abeggi o, grammar na 4 pesin no b dog, no b so Onoriode dem papa take...
Uncle: my friend go inside! You neva stop with this your warri stories.
3 months later, on a faithful night, thieves broke into their home again, 'EVERYBODY LIE DOWN!' They barked
The uncle laid first, hoping that the dogs would attack the robbers, Akpos joined and the dogs follwed suit...and akpos turned to the uncle and said "bros e, no b u dey follow wit dogs dey blow big big grammar? Now, c yawa don gaas!'