Mintayo:

my dear,money is not everything,if you are waiting for money to do somethings,you will never do anything!

Mintayo:

thanks...

Mr Aboki: Utter rubbish

Boss seriously you nailed it.

I have always believed this ur point of view. One can have the best marriage of her life... I tell myself most times whats the worst that could happen.

Thanks for this. I am gettin married soon. So many lesson learnt here, although i had always tot of it this way.

Thanks again for your insight and come to think of your age, wow God has blessed you at this tender age with understanding.


















I beg to differ...



Erm.... Nobody loves their space more than I do. I love being left alone. But then again, I realize that I have a duty to my wife. Left to me, I would rather be left alone and she knows it and tries to respectt my space as much as possible..



I agree with you on this to an extent.. I'm a foodie and love to eat home cooked meals. BUT!! Its understandable if a woman does not know how to cook| does not like to cook. NOT ALL WOMEN MUST KNOW HOW TO COOK. However, I strongly believe that every woman must make an attempt to learn how to cook, even if she fails at it.



You have never met my mother.. OR my wife. These two women dont know how to mince words..

If it looks like shiit, smells like shiit then best believe that they will tell you that it is 'SHIIT' and theywouldnt even try to rebrand it and call it 'feaces'.



If you believe that a Man|Woman can change who you are or that you can change a person, then I think you have already failed even before you start. If shes a round Peg and you are a square hole, dont think you can change her to fit, there will always be space.



Hahahaaa... Well. How can you solve other peoples problems when you havent solved yours.




If this were true, I would still be single.

But guess what?! I no longer hold grudges. Infact, I consider it to be a waste of time and energy. But before and as at the time of my weddings, I was still very much a grudge holder.



[b]Another dilly point.. _{No offence}

Unfortunately, a source of income to feed your family is as fickle as life. A friend of mine who had a job with a bank as at when he got married, lost his job 3 months to the arrival of his firs child and stayed without a job or tangible source of income for 2 years after the childs birth. Today things are back up. I will agree that if as at the time of getting married, you dont have a job, then please cease and desist.. But having a job or a source of income is very secondary in the grand scheme of things as far as the fundamentals for marriage is concerned.



[b]If your spouse cant make you do things against your wish, then you people shouldnt be married.. I'm serious..

Thats why its very important that you find the right person for you because if that marriage is based on true love and affection, your spouses would most times have the power to sway your solid decision. I remember how I got to school abroad. My father had said NO!! My mother just told me to leave the matter up to her.. Today, all my siblings are abroad schooling (the last ones are still in secondary school sef) ...

Thats the power of a partner..



ANY WOMAN WHO ISNT GOOD IN BED & CANT COOK, _{Yet plans to be married and keep a man faithful} IS PLAYING LUDO WITH THE DEVIL.. . I will agree with you here because of the word 'ONLY' in that point..



Hmmmm... Well, I can conceive it, live with it but dont agree that any man should be comfortable in himself knowing that his wife is more successful than he is.. The solution however shouldnt be to pull her down, but to climb to her level and surpass her.



I agree with you to an extent..

But I will say it like this; If you have no confidence in yourself, then you have no business marrying someone who shares the same opinion about you. I say this because a partner can be a major motivating factor in a persons life. I'm not even talking financially, but also morally.



FA! FAA! FAAAAA! FAAAAAAAAAWWWWL.. A mentor is only as good as the people you have around you. I cant even say I have a mentor or role model per se.. Not everybody must have a leader|Mentor. Sometimes, all you need is a dream|vision|principle|mantra|standard|etc and the steadfastness to pursue|stick to it and you are fine..



[b]This is so funny!!

Any NIGERIAN that has ever gotten married knows that this one is very very impossible. Budget for wedding?! How!!? You want tell your Umunnas say na only 10 people fit attend from village?! Or you wan make Yoruba man tell ehn people say na on 5 people fit attend the Owambe?! Or make Aboki tell ehn Hommies say the Kunu for the wedding na for only 10 feefle?! LOL

My guy Mbuk fogerrabout!!. This happens 1 in 200 Nigerian weddings. The budget of a wedding almost, always exceeds the couples planned budget.

My standard advice is that one comes out plain and honest to the family members about their true financial status and ability, do the best they can, solicit help from friends and family and just get married.. Everything somehow sorts itself out on the wedding day.. Left to me alone, I couldnt have afforded my wedding cost. I came out clean to both families and got help..

No one couple can foot the bill of a wedding alone, except you are marrying Chief Sweetus Oyoyo Banana Icecream Boy YUZEDO...
[/b]



If this were true, then my mum and my wife shouldnt be married women.
.




[b]Abokis Last Advice:: What I have always told people is that no two marriages are the same..

I once told my mother to her face that if I were married to her, I would beat her almost everyday. Guess what, my father has never once hit her ever before. I guess this has to do with their personalities. My father is the cool, quiet, calm type.. My mum is the hot tempered, quick anger, yell and shout type.. So the more she yells, the calmer my dad is.

My wife is a little like my mum.. She gets angry, picks up vases and smashes them, cries, yells and has even once grabbed my shirt.. Funny! I have never hit her before. I simply get angry, hold a grudge that can last for weeks|months.. Until she comes and apologises or we just simply move on.

I personally feel the most important thing in Marriage is finding the right partner.. The right partner being someone you can live and spend the rest of your life with. Someone who you can live with through thick and thin. Someone who if they slip tomorrow and fall on the floor, disfiguring their face, you can still look at them in their scarred face and smile. Someone who makes you better than you are. Basically, the person that appeals to you.. Your perfect match may not be another persons perfect match. The perfect partner sef doesnt have to be a good cook, or a Havard school graduate, or the most romantic, or God-fearing and whatever else you read in all these marriage books and DVDs.. There is no such thing as the perfect time to be married.. You can never be fully prepared for marriage. There is no perfect manual for marriage. Some marriages if put on T.V will look as fvcked up as shiit, but between the couple, they are in heaven, and thats what matters.

P.S:: I am not even 30years old sef and I'm married.. Till tomorrow, I still cant believe I got married at the stage in life where my mates are still balling. I have never been able to answer myself as to why I married so early in life as a guy!

Nuff said from Mr. Aboki aka Mr. Romantic Aboki.. ...

[/b]

Mintayo: 15 ways to know if you're ready for Marriage:

(1). If you believe that you must always have the last say in an argument,you are not ready for marriage.

(2). If you don't like anyone invading your space,you are not ready.

(3). If you're a lady,and you don't cook or don't like to,your marriage is not likely to be easy or funny.

(4). If you always say things exactly how they come to your mind not caring who is hurt,your marriage is likely to crash.

(5). If you believe you are who you are and no one can change that,you're not ready.

(6). If you think about others when you've fully sorted yourself out,you're not ready.

(7). If you are so good about holding a grudge and you will only let go when you feel like,stay unmarried.

(.8.). If you're a man and you are not engaged in ventures or a process in time that can financially take care of your immediate family and
beyond,you need to give yourself a few more years to be ready.

(9). If as a man,you're easily swayed and pressurized to do things against your wish,you are not ready for marriage.

(10). If you believe that women at best should be good in bed and kitchen affairs only,you will end up having a bitter and subdued wife;stay away.

(11). If your mind can't conceive the thought of having a more successful wife,even if it is temporary,then you have little growing up to do.

(12). If you have no confidence in your capability and your future,you have no business taking someone else with you.

(13). If as a man,you don't have a mentor or leader you follow,listen or defer to,you're not going to be able to lead your family.

(14). If you can't have wedding ceremony within a budget you can personally afford,give yourself more time. Who says you can't have 20 guests or less at your wedding? Cut your coat according to your cloth and take responsibility. As a man, you can define how small or large you want your wedding ceremony to be and be able to handle it.

(15). If you have anger problem such that you can destroy things when you are angry, get a therapist to help you in managing it. Otherwise engage God's help for the change you seek. With anger issues,you're a disaster waiting to explode.
Marriage is an investment, what you put into it is what comes out of it!
.
You Want to Add Something?
(Judith Imagoro).

Mintayo: 15 ways to know if you're ready for Marriage:

(1). If you believe that you must always have the last say in an argument,you are not ready for marriage.

(2). If you don't like anyone invading your space,you are not ready.

(3). If you're a lady,and you don't cook or don't like to,your marriage is not likely to be easy or funny.

(4). If you always say things exactly how they come to your mind not caring who is hurt,your marriage is likely to crash.

(5). If you believe you are who you are and no one can change that,you're not ready.

(6). If you think about others when you've fully sorted yourself out,you're not ready.

(7). If you are so good about holding a grudge and you will only let go when you feel like,stay unmarried.

(.8.). If you're a man and you are not engaged in ventures or a process in time that can financially take care of your immediate family and
beyond,you need to give yourself a few more years to be ready.

(9). If as a man,you're easily swayed and pressurized to do things against your wish,you are not ready for marriage.

(10). If you believe that women at best should be good in bed and kitchen affairs only,you will end up having a bitter and subdued wife;stay away.

(11). If your mind can't conceive the thought of having a more successful wife,even if it is temporary,then you have little growing up to do.

(12). If you have no confidence in your capability and your future,you have no business taking someone else with you.

(13). If as a man,you don't have a mentor or leader you follow,listen or defer to,you're not going to be able to lead your family.

(14). If you can't have wedding ceremony within a budget you can personally afford,give yourself more time. Who says you can't have 20 guests or less at your wedding? Cut your coat according to your cloth and take responsibility. As a man, you can define how small or large you want your wedding ceremony to be and be able to handle it.

(15). If you have anger problem such that you can destroy things when you are angry, get a therapist to help you in managing it. Otherwise engage God's help for the change you seek. With anger issues,you're a disaster waiting to explode.
Marriage is an investment, what you put into it is what comes out of it!
.
You Want to Add Something?
(Judith Imagoro).

Mintayo: 15 ways to know if you're ready for Marriage:

(1). If you believe that you must always have the last say in an argument,you are not ready for marriage.

(2). If you don't like anyone invading your space,you are not ready.

(3). If you're a lady,and you don't cook or don't like to,your marriage is not likely to be easy or funny.

(4). If you always say things exactly how they come to your mind not caring who is hurt,your marriage is likely to crash.

(5). If you believe you are who you are and no one can change that,you're not ready.

(6). If you think about others when you've fully sorted yourself out,you're not ready.

(7). If you are so good about holding a grudge and you will only let go when you feel like,stay unmarried.

(.8.). If you're a man and you are not engaged in ventures or a process in time that can financially take care of your immediate family and
beyond,you need to give yourself a few more years to be ready.

(9). If as a man,you're easily swayed and pressurized to do things against your wish,you are not ready for marriage.

(10). If you believe that women at best should be good in bed and kitchen affairs only,you will end up having a bitter and subdued wife;stay away.

(11). If your mind can't conceive the thought of having a more successful wife,even if it is temporary,then you have little growing up to do.

(12). If you have no confidence in your capability and your future,you have no business taking someone else with you.

(13). If as a man,you don't have a mentor or leader you follow,listen or defer to,you're not going to be able to lead your family.

(14). If you can't have wedding ceremony within a budget you can personally afford,give yourself more time. Who says you can't have 20 guests or less at your wedding? Cut your coat according to your cloth and take responsibility. As a man, you can define how small or large you want your wedding ceremony to be and be able to handle it.

(15). If you have anger problem such that you can destroy things when you are angry, get a therapist to help you in managing it. Otherwise engage God's help for the change you seek. With anger issues,you're a disaster waiting to explode.
Marriage is an investment, what you put into it is what comes out of it!
.
You Want to Add Something?
(Judith Imagoro).

Mintayo: 15 ways to know if you're ready for Marriage:

(1). If you believe that you must always have the last say in an argument,you are not ready for marriage.

(2). If you don't like anyone invading your space,you are not ready.

(3). If you're a lady,and you don't cook or don't like to,your marriage is not likely to be easy or funny.

(4). If you always say things exactly how they come to your mind not caring who is hurt,your marriage is likely to crash.

(5). If you believe you are who you are and no one can change that,you're not ready.

(6). If you think about others when you've fully sorted yourself out,you're not ready.

(7). If you are so good about holding a grudge and you will only let go when you feel like,stay unmarried.

(.8.). If you're a man and you are not engaged in ventures or a process in time that can financially take care of your immediate family and
beyond,you need to give yourself a few more years to be ready.

(9). If as a man,you're easily swayed and pressurized to do things against your wish,you are not ready for marriage.

(10). If you believe that women at best should be good in bed and kitchen affairs only,you will end up having a bitter and subdued wife;stay away.

(11). If your mind can't conceive the thought of having a more successful wife,even if it is temporary,then you have little growing up to do.

(12). If you have no confidence in your capability and your future,you have no business taking someone else with you.

(13). If as a man,you don't have a mentor or leader you follow,listen or defer to,you're not going to be able to lead your family.

(14). If you can't have wedding ceremony within a budget you can personally afford,give yourself more time. Who says you can't have 20 guests or less at your wedding? Cut your coat according to your cloth and take responsibility. As a man, you can define how small or large you want your wedding ceremony to be and be able to handle it.

(15). If you have anger problem such that you can destroy things when you are angry, get a therapist to help you in managing it. Otherwise engage God's help for the change you seek. With anger issues,you're a disaster waiting to explode.
Marriage is an investment, what you put into it is what comes out of it!
.
You Want to Add Something?
(Judith Imagoro).