Why Nice Guys Finish Last


Are you a nice guy who has always wondered why the cocky guy -- the one who barely appears interested in the girl -- is usually the one who gets the girl?
Have you suffered from hearing the words, "You're a really nice guy, but I only like you as a friend," from a woman who you would do (or may, in fact, have already done) just about anything and everything for -- only to turn around and watch her date (or even chase) a guy who treats her like she's nothing special? And are you stumped wondering why she would date a guy who treats her like that when she could have you who would treat her like a princess and give her everything she wants? Well, you better brace yourself because I'm going to tell you a couple of secrets that you might not want to hear.

First, "nice" equates with boring and predictable. Look up "nice" in the dictionary and you find: pleasant; agreeable; satisfactory. In other words, average -- not exceptional, not exciting, and not sexy.I'll bet you've never heard a woman say she didn't want to date a guy because he was too confident, too passionate, or too exciting -- have you? But, I'll bet you have heard women say things like, "He's such a nice guy. He's so sweet and he's always there for me, but I only like him as a friend." Or, "He's such a good guy -- kind, thoughtful, generous, honest, loyal -- but there's no chemistry. He just doesn't turn me on." Sadly, I hear it all the time. The fact is, Mr. Nice Guy, you cannot bore a woman into feeling attracted to you or into wanting to date you. And as obvious as that sounds, if you are one of those guys I described that is exactly what you are trying to do. And it won't work.
Please understand that I am not suggesting that you mistreat women or disrespect them in any way.
What I suggesting is that you value and respect yourself more. What I suggesting is that you value and respect yourself more.

To illustrate what I mean: The answer to the question, "Why does the guy who doesn't appear to care as much about the girl get the girl?" is simple: The nice guy cares too much, too soon. He has made the woman too important and too valuable and it shows in everything he says and does. He is too available, too eager to please, too accommodating, and he gives too much -- all without getting anything in return. By doing so, he has made himself appear desperate, insecure, needy of this woman's attention, affection, and approval -- and he has stripped himself of any value in her eyes. After all, if he's already doing and giving everything, without her doing or giving anything - why would she value him? She won't. She is not going to value him any more than he values himself. What she is going to do is look for someone else, someone who she perceives as being more worthy, more confident, and more valuable.

It works like this: Once you need something, or you want it too badly, you forfeit your strength and lose all power of negotiation. Once you need something, or you want it too badly, you forfeit your strength and
lose all power of negotiation. You are in a position of weakness and you are perceived as weak. Someone (or something) else is in control of you, the situation, and it's outcome. Men in this situation appear to be anything but confident, strong, and exciting. More, they are perceived as being unworthy and as lacking value.

Translation: Things that are easily acquired, obtained, or maintained, without any effort or sacrifice, lack value, it's human nature.
The secret to why the cocky guy wins with women, over the nice guy, is that he is perceived as being a stronger, more confident guy with more value. How? He never invests everything -- his entire being, ego, and self-worth in what one woman's response or reaction to him is. He doesn't gush with compliments; he isn't always available; he doesn't give too much; and he knows he isn't going to die if a woman says "no" to him. More, his attitude is, yeah, I'd like to go out with you, but if I can't, that's OK -- I'm a busy guy, with exciting things going on, and lots of other options.

Nawa for ppl o. . .boring thread

You try sha

Essay! break it down really simple abeg!

Tetchiness:

Nawa for people o. . .boring thread 

You try sha 

for dis,i'ma jst slap you wit two kizzez

@ all

thread not for cybercafe people but 4 guys at home.

also thread for the mentally alert.

Can I just say some women do like nice guys, I love them, they always make you feel special. I can't understand why a woman would chase after a guy who probably can't even remember her name. But let me stress you can be nice but desperation is also a turn off.

Templa:

Why Nice Guys Finish Last


Are you a nice guy who has always wondered why the cocky guy -- the one who barely appears interested in the girl -- is usually the one who gets the girl?
Have you suffered from hearing the words, "You're a really nice guy, but I only like you as a friend," from a woman who you would do (or may, in fact, have already done) just about anything and everything for -- only to turn around and watch her date (or even chase) a guy who treats her like she's nothing special? And are you stumped wondering why she would date a guy who treats her like that when she could have you who would treat her like a princess and give her everything she wants? Well, you better brace yourself because I'm going to tell you a couple of secrets that you might not want to hear.

First, "nice" equates with boring and predictable. Look up "nice" in the dictionary and you find: pleasant; agreeable; satisfactory. In other words, average -- not exceptional, not exciting, and not sexy.I'll bet you've never heard a woman say she didn't want to date a guy because he was too confident, too passionate, or too exciting -- have you? But, I'll bet you have heard women say things like, "He's such a nice guy. He's so sweet and he's always there for me, but I only like him as a friend." Or, "He's such a good guy -- kind, thoughtful, generous, honest, loyal -- but there's no chemistry. He just doesn't turn me on." Sadly, I hear it all the time. The fact is, Mr. Nice Guy, you cannot bore a woman into feeling attracted to you or into wanting to date you. And as obvious as that sounds, if you are one of those guys I described that is exactly what you are trying to do. And it won't work.
Please understand that I am not suggesting that you mistreat women or disrespect them in any way.
What I suggesting is that you value and respect yourself more. What I suggesting is that you value and respect yourself more.

To illustrate what I mean: The answer to the question, "Why does the guy who doesn't appear to care as much about the girl get the girl?" is simple: The nice guy cares too much, too soon. He has made the woman too important and too valuable and it shows in everything he says and does. He is too available, too eager to please, too accommodating, and he gives too much -- all without getting anything in return. By doing so, he has made himself appear desperate, insecure, needy of this woman's attention, affection, and approval -- and he has stripped himself of any value in her eyes. After all, if he's already doing and giving everything, without her doing or giving anything - why would she value him? She won't. She is not going to value him any more than he values himself. What she is going to do is look for someone else, someone who she perceives as being more worthy, more confident, and more valuable.

It works like this: Once you need something, or you want it too badly, you forfeit your strength and lose all power of negotiation. Once you need something, or you want it too badly, you forfeit your strength and
lose all power of negotiation. You are in a position of weakness and you are perceived as weak. Someone (or something) else is in control of you, the situation, and it's outcome. Men in this situation appear to be anything but confident, strong, and exciting. More, they are perceived as being unworthy and as lacking value.

Translation: Things that are easily acquired, obtained, or maintained, without any effort or sacrifice, lack value, it's human nature.
The secret to why the cocky guy wins with women, over the nice guy, is that he is perceived as being a stronger, more confident guy with more value. How? He never invests everything -- his entire being, ego, and self-worth in what one woman's response or reaction to him is. He doesn't gush with compliments; he isn't always available; he doesn't give too much; and he knows he isn't going to die if a woman says "no" to him. More, his attitude is, yeah, I'd like to go out with you, but if I can't, that's OK -- I'm a busy guy, with exciting things going on, and lots of other options.

I'm sure Essay in English A1

genius33:

Can I just say some women do like nice guys, I love them, they always make you feel special. I can't understand why a woman would chase after a guy who probably can't even remember her name. But let me stress you can be nice but desperation is also a turn off.

some nice guys can be wimpy sometimes, and then it just gets annoying.

@poster
the least you could do is interprete it in your own words after copying it from yahoo.

beauteous:

for this,i'ma jst slap you wit two kizzez

Templa:

@ all

thread not for cybercafe people but 4 guys at home.

also thread for the mentally alert.

Funny, very funny since most of the people that just posted here are not in Nigeria. olodo!

my grand mum told me "neva be the first to call names"

They finish last because they lack sophistication.

The same reason why NICE GIRLS Finish last!

Check out existing threads at below:

Mr Nice Guy, Why Do Girls Rarely Date You
www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-134641.0.html

Where Are All the Good Nigerian/African Men?
www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-3372.0.html

Why Do Girls Always Go For Bad Boys?
https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-2990.0.html

Men Who Hit and Run | Ladies Who Eat and Run
www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-2444.0.html

Why Do Some Women Like 'bad' Boys?
https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-112480.0.html

Playboys Are Better Men Than Others?
https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-22392.0.html

Tetch, just because they are abroad does not mean they are not suffering from ADD. I think he cut it short, I wish he would have dumped the full pages here.

@Templa, nice job! Next time give us the full story, I will force Tetch to sit and read every word and punctuation.

@post, I will summarize it in one word "DRAMA". Women are political, drama pumps up their ESTROGEN level and enhances their SEXUALITY. When they encounter a MISCHIEVIOUS MONKEY their DESIRE is instinctively aroused and the hormones start to pump. When they encounter a HANDSOME HUMAN BEING, their CURIOSITY is aroused but it is short-lived and it is only soon before they run BACK to their monkeys.

Tetch, just because they are abroad does not mean they are not suffering from ADD. I think he cut it short, I wish he would have dumped the full pages here.

Yes sir, ese n sir !
se eti se tan?

abeg who be the maga.who type the topic.the guy na maga

this thread is not for the[b] MENTALLY LAZY[/b]. abeg.

I think with us women it is the challange of getting a man to submitt to us, to committ to us. If it comes too easy then we are not interested and the same goes the other way with men. If a woman is too open and too submissive from the start he will take advantange and run all over her. The King and Queen status has to be earned and not just given away.

You can be a nice and finish first but a desperate guy/girl will always finish last.

there is nothing wrong with a nice guy i guess. but there is something about those bad boys that just turn girls on.

It's the truth I must confess you're not lying the Cocky guy's gets the girl,

@poster
I seriously wonder when u guys will stop stereotyping people.
What makes u believe a guy can't be nice and exciting at the same time?
Personally I've been around many girls for example who are a world of fun yet principled to the hilt.
This definitely applies to some guys and I advise these are the ones the ladies shld go in search of.
Stop this doctrine of exclusivity.

I don't believe nice guys finish last. Have you ever stopped to wonder why the so-called players/bad guys would want to settle down with a nice/well mannered lady at the end of the whole game. Have you ever stopped to wonder why the so-called bad girl would suddenly want to look out for a nice guy (not a player) for marriage?

The answer is simple. While growing up, we all want to explore, want to be free and fly like a bird, we want to taste the good, the bad and the ugly. But when getting more matured, we want the best by searching for peace and happiness. There are lots of ladies in the church today looking for nice guys to settle down with.

Bolarge:

@poster
I seriously wonder when u guys will stop stereotyping people.
What makes u believe a guy can't be nice and exciting at the same time?
Personally I've been around many girls for example who are a world of fun yet principled to the hilt.
This definitely applies to some guys and I advise these are the ones the ladies shld go in search of.
Stop this doctrine of exclusivity.

very well said.

Nice guys are usually ugly. . . maybe that's why most naija men tries to be nice once in a while. But it's not working.
I guess egotistical n Ugly work for them

I seriously wonder when u guys will stop stereotyping people.
What makes u believe a guy can't be nice and exciting at the same time?
Personally I've been around many girls for example who are a world of fun yet principled to the hilt.
This definitely applies to some guys and I advise these are the ones the ladies shld go in search of.
Stop this doctrine of exclusivity.

I seriously disagree with you. Its almost like saying Fat people (esp gals) have a relatively lower self esteem. . . Not always true but mostly. THAT COUNTS
Case in Point: I have been considered the Mr Nice Guy and I didn't get a** nearly as much as I would've like and definitely not nearly as some guys I know (who fit the discription of the other kind).
Being nice usually is isn't cos they're ugly as some1 said its usually low self esteem and lack of knowing one's worth = Timid.

I've always being nice and still am, but I'm definitely not easy cos I know my worth

Talk about FZ