I think I'm falling for a guy in one of my classes. He's a gentle man, he's funny, he's intelligent, and on top of everything is he's handsome. The only problem is, he's poor not like "I'm broke right now and I can't afford to take a girl out, it's more like " I'm broke and I don't even have money to buy school supplies or soap". He even once told me that he doesn't have a bedroom at home, that he sleeps on his relatives couch. I got to know all that about him because we had a group assignment and he was my partner, I think it was really honest of him to tell me that about himself because most people would hide it, I didn't want to ask him about his parents, because I thought that would be a bit too personal.
Although he's three years older than me, we are in the same level in college, but he's a serious student and he has a promising future.
Now, because of the time I spent taking to him I'm beginning to have this mushy feeling anytime I see him, it's not even funny because antime I'm feeling sad and I see him or hear his voice, I just become happy. I have never been in love before so I don't know if I actually like him or I feel sorry for him and I just want to show him affection. I'm really confused, but I really think it's just pity, I really want to help him like giving him money to buy personal items etc, but I don't know how he's going to react, I just feel so sorry for him.

Pls let him be ok allow him finish wit a good grade, don't be a distraction to him cos he needs that good result to overcome his poverty . Keep your love to yourself becos you ll leave him at the end of the day.so allow him face his studies

Wait till he hit ya honey pot.

madone: Pls let him be ok allow him finish wit a good grade, don't be a distraction to him cos he needs that good result to overcome his poverty . Keep your love to yourself becos you ll leave him at the end of the day.so allow him face his studies

I love this!
#team Blunt

It's unfortunate that on this side of the world,when a lady sees a guy,the thought is most often what does he have?Can't you see him and say to yourself,how can i help him get better?What can i contribute to his life?

Leave this young man alone and don't be a distraction to him.Let him graduate with good grades and get the future he deserves.He will find a supportive woman at the right time too.

Errrrm priestess... Abeg tell ur ppl say u no c d boi ooo, no make 4get him book dey tynk love.. BTW wah shrine r u priestess of??

you don't need him relationship wise

Lady, pls, just let him be.

.

madone: Pls let him be ok allow him finish wit a good grade, don't be a distraction to him cos he needs that good result to overcome his poverty . Keep your love to yourself becos you ll leave him at the end of the day.so allow him face his studies

This got me cracking hard.
Op,needs to give him some space.
Op,just be his best friend if you can.Wait...patiently while the years go by..the right moment wud find its way.

"If you like something, let it go. If it comes back to you, then its yours. If it doesn't, it never was"
Just be his friend op. Don't give him fish buh teach him how to fish. Dig?

Abeg leav dat guy alone, if u rily luv him,u wnt hav mentioned anytin abwt money, all u hav 4 him is pity,if u want to giv him money ,5n, bt dnt expect anytin

Follow your heart.

madone: Pls let him be ok allow him finish wit a good grade, don't be a distraction to him cos he needs that good result to overcome his poverty . Keep your love to yourself becos you ll leave him at the end of the day.so allow him face his studies

Han han! That was too harsh na

@OP you are not in love dear,pity is not love. But you can still be his friend as you confide in him...

jovialjov:

Han han! That was too harsh na

@ op sori I didnot mean to be rude or harsh. its just DAT u need to hear the truth that's why u came here and u have to get the truth cos u will not build ur love on pity. soon u will want him to take u out for shop and ice cream he can't cos he does not have the resources and I see you accusing him of insensitive in the next 6months cos he ll not meet your need as a woman. Then intelligence and fine face will not matter to you cos u av seen it all then u ll leave him for another guy causing serious heart break that ll make him unstable and unable to concentrate ön his studies.so you see why you have to leave him allow be for now.love can wait

one of the most funny replies I have seen on NL.... Blunt people dey sha but I think they are right. I think giving him cash may be damaging toa man's ego, so I advice you to come with scheme to take him shopping. Focus on helping him get a balance in his life, friendship and not on relationship.... Good relationship will develop wit time and connection...

madone: Pls let him be ok allow him finish wit a good grade, don't be a distraction to him cos he needs that good result to overcome his poverty . Keep your love to yourself becos you ll leave him at the end of the day.so allow him face his studies

I strongly disagree with the view suggested here that love MUST be put on hold for the sake of edycation: if one can't handle relationship and school how will one fare in marriage whilst earning income amidst other responsibilities, you are dealing with young adults here not kids.

@ OP: Sit your man down, tell him your feeling and make him go for it (ie a relationship with you).

love out of pity.....be sure of wat u feel bt dat dsnt mean u guys cant be friends...u kan help him if u can and want to..take love aside and u both focus on studies first

madone: @ op sori I didnot mean to be rude or harsh. its just DAT u need to hear the truth that's why u came here and u have to get the truth cos u will not build ur love on pity. soon u will want him to take u out for shop and ice cream he can't cos he does not have the resources and I see you accusing him of insensitive in the next 6months cos he ll not meet your need as a woman. Then intelligence and fine face will not matter to you cos u av seen it all then u ll leave him for another guy causing serious heart break that ll make him unstable and unable to concentrate ön his studies.so you see why you have to leave him allow be for now.love can wait

Erm I undertstand that you had to be blunt with it, but I don't even live in Nigeria and all that ice cream rubbish is not my style, I'm not a very materialistic person, if I want ice cream I can buy it for myself. Because of the way that I was raised I even feel ashamed when I have to ask people for money exept it's from a relative, I don't expect much financially from a guy, I just want him to be financially responsible for himself first. I don't even know if I want to date him because first of all, he's not even black so I don't know how my family is going to respond, and me too Im trying to focus on my studies and i dont think this would be a good time to be in a relationship. even though we don't date I just want to be his friend and help him in some way, maybe give him some money anytime that I can, but he may end up thinking that I see him as a charity case instead of me just being a friend. That's my dilemma right now.

Still listening to folks here U go jonze like Jughead.

madone: Pls let him be ok allow him finish wit a good grade, don't be a distraction to him cos he needs that good result to overcome his poverty . Keep your love to yourself becos you ll leave him at the end of the day.so allow him face his studies

Straight from the heart...

Uyi Iredia:

I strongly disagree with the view suggested here that love MUST be put on hold for the sake of edycation: if one can't handle relationship and school how will one fare in marriage whilst earning income amidst other responsibilities, you are dealing with young adults here not kids.

I strongly agree with you broda, yes a man should @ least start shouldering responsibility early in order to make the list of good and responsible husband both @ work and @ home. But what if he end up without a job or a woman to marry? What if in trying to maintain his relationship he ends up in crime as an arm robber or internet scamming(yahoo yahoo) Just becos he wants to meet her needs all the dreams of Bein a sweet hard working husband will die in a police net and you can tell wat ll follow next when this same girl comes crying that her once Fine face and intelligent bobo is a criminal evryone on NL will raise the red flag to kill him.so he better face the clarion call now

pri3stess:

Erm I undertstand that you had to be blunt with it, but I don't even live in Nigeria and all that ice cream rubbish is not my style, I'm not a very materialistic person, if I want ice cream I can buy it for myself. Because of the way that I was raised I even feel ashamed when I have to ask people for money exept it's from a relative, I don't expect much financially from a guy, I just want him to be financially responsible for himself first. I don't even know if I want to date him because first of all, he's not even black so I don't know how my family is going to respond, and me too Im trying to focus on my studies and i dont think this would be a good time to be in a relationship. even though we don't date I just want to be his friend and help him in some way, maybe give him some money anytime that I can, but he may end up thinking that I see him as a charity case instead of me just being a friend. That's my dilemma right now.

swity I can see you have a good heart to love and care I admire that I a lot. Its not a problem loving him but it become a problem if the love ll not last long cos it can't be nurtured. Friends can help each other if u want to help him raise no problems but u no wat? Don't cry foul when you clean him up and other ladies picks interest in him cos its like u re the only one seeing the good in him for now, and you re aready melting under his gaze even now that he has noting. Then you ll remind him of the gultar u brought him out from

madone: Pls let him be ok allow him finish wit a good grade, don't be a distraction to him cos he needs that good result to overcome his poverty . Keep your love to yourself becos you ll leave him at the end of the day.so allow him face his studies

Best Advice EVER!!

Op just leave the guy alone and don't jeopardize his future ok

Kai, poverty is bad business for guys.

You can help him, bt be wise in doing it, because if u are nt, you might just loose him, no man wants to feel like a charity case, especially to a woman, it leads to insecurity and low self worth...

Op with all you stated you are obviously in love with this guy, however you must find out if it's mutual if it is then you guys are good to go, but you must be certain he's financial situation is not a problem if it's not I see no reason why you can't be with the one you love, just try to be supportive and never intimidate him with your financial status. We find love in a hopeless place, you just found yours dearie don't let him go.

what you feel for him might not be love but the nurturing and mothering instinct in all women, guys sometimes lay this card of been in a

particular fix, either money, relationship etc, then the girl feels pity and a wide range of emotions towards the guy, the girl might then provide a lil succor for the guy and when she sees the guys happy face it makes her fulfilled and willing to do more.

when the guy complains and cries, she tries to make her happy, some cry together and phuck through pity, give a girl conflicting and wide range of emotions and anything is possible

the danger is that with this kind of guy, it never ends, you feel like you need to do more and he might end up taking you and the things you do and give (including your tender pudenda) granted and seeks out a girl HE likes in secret, though it would later blow open

a broke guy is always nice....why?...cos he has nothing else to offer.....so don't conclude he is nice YET

leave the guy, give him time and space, if the LOVE...I said love and not mutual closeness, is reciprocal it will eventually grow

this guy is not a candidate for flings cos his education and finance and emotions will be at stake

step with care

goodluck

why would you date a white dude... record shows they cant Spank well