Am in a relationship with a guy for d past 3yrs now, after a year of our courtship i got 2 knw he was married back home in 9ja thru the voicemail his wife left 4 him on his phone, he begged with his friends, he made me understand that he doesnt luv d lady again snice then he started acting funny 2wards d lady and her family, but they re still married sha cos they not dirvorced, he keep saying if i shld ve a child 4 him he will then use that as an excuse 2 dirvorce d lady. his family really accepted me whenever i visit 9ja they treat me very well,
but lately a friend of mine usuall tell myself and my boyfriend 2 always put her in prayer that a good man shld come her way, so i travelled 2 9ja b4 i got back my boyfriend asked her out she refused, she called me up saying all my boyfriend said about me that he doesnt love me that he is only passing time with me . when i got back he begeged me that he didnt knw what came over him. since then i hated him like mad, himself and his family member wants me 2 get married 2 him as quick as possible , but i dnt see myself lovin him any longer, now i begin to see loads of faults in him, he is everywhere begging me 2 marry him.

is there more to the story? Did he walk in and catch you typing this so you did not finish?

So you really love am before? That is a classic 419 from men o.
"we still live together but we sleep in different rooms."
"It was all a mistake. I only wanted the child but our parents forced us to marry"
"I'm going to leave her but I want to get my acts together first"
etc etc.

You are lucky if (and only if) you can turn back at this point and find your level. If he did it to his present wife, your turn will surely come.

Sorr 4 d error i mean HE ASKED MY FRIEND OUT. 10X

Ceeno E vu:

So you really love am before? That is a classic 419 from men o.
"we still live together but we sleep in different rooms."
"It was all a mistake. I only wanted the child but our parents forced us to marry"
"I'm going to leave her but I want to get my acts together first"
etc etc.

You are lucky if (and only if) you can turn back at this point and find your level. If he did it to his present wife, your turn will surely come.

My sentiments exactly how can you be sure he wont do the same to you? Those kind of men never change. As soon as he gets bored he'll be out looking for somebody else, again. 

@ poster

the answer is simple. since you said you dont love him anymore, boot the idiot and move on with your life. what are you waiting for

lady bam:

@ poster

the answer is simple. since you said you don't love him anymore, boot the idiot and move on with your life. what are you waiting for

totally agree

Frankly, you're being stupid.

He is married.

He asked your freind out while you were away.

He's asking you to have his child while he's married to someone esle.

think about it, is this the kinda future you want for urself and ur kids?

It seems it been only a female affair and as such I want to break the jinx on this topic. I think the guy is sick and don't be surprised that is the same thing he told the woman he dumped in Nigeria. By the power confirmed on me as the physician of the house, I hereby refer the guys case to ARO because it is no more the normal medical case. Thank you.

Get rid of the looser. Please what ever you do dont have any children with him. This will not work out well for you.

sistawoman:

Get rid of the looser. Please what ever you do don't have any children with him. This will not work out well for you.

Rightly said. Thank your friend for being a very good friend,
Forget the guy and move on. He's a player not good enuf for you!!!!!!!!!!

Poster,

Am sorry you have to go through that but am glad you dont have feelings for him anymore. Some ladies just can;t help but to still fall in love with that kinda guy and they cannot help it but in your case, you're lucky not to continue falling in love with him.

He can do whatever he wants because sooner or later, he will slap his own face and life has always got its ways to get back at him and even if its not, he will end up in Hell .

So for you my dear, move on with life and find another guy whom deserves to be with you. All the best.

gabrywyl:

Poster,

Am sorry you have to go through that but am glad you don't have feelings for him anymore. Some ladies just can;t help but to still fall in love with that kind of guy and they cannot help it but in your case, you're lucky not to continue falling in love with him.

He can do whatever he wants because sooner or later, he will slap his own face and life has always got its ways to get back at him and even if its not, he will end up in Hell .

So for you my dear, move on with life and find another guy whom deserves to be with you. All the best.

best advice

What were you expecting to hear from n'landers??

You either run while you can or have a baby for him and see if that will help.

some kinda advise we n;landers seeek here self can bother me at times.
whats with what shud u do, when u know wat to do.

abeg carry belle for am jare. lol

It is good for you to leave him now.

10x

YOU ALREADY HAVE THE ANSWERS YOU NEED.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

I know all this, "i don't love him any more thingy" when truly, u are still sickly in love with the gay. If u are no longer in love with him, u wouldn't be in a state of indecision. u won't come here to ask questions. I'm so sure u are still in love or desperate that's why this case has become an issue? Why would u continue with a man after he told u he has a wife? Is his story that well packaged? Or u expected he wipes the wife off completely?

Look, If he cheated with u, he is going to cheat on u, even to ur face, which he has started. Don't expect any miracle!

kokoye:

Frankly, you're being stupid.

He is married.

He asked your freind out while you were away.

He's asking you to have his child while he's married to someone esle.

think about it, is this the kind of future you want for yourself and your kids?

Word!

unigue:

Am in a relationship with a guy for d past 3yrs now, after a year of our courtship i got 2 knw he was married back home in 9ja thru the voicemail his wife left 4 him on his phone, he begged with his friends, he made me understand that he doesnt luv d lady again snice then he started acting funny 2wards d lady and her family, but they re still married sha cos they not dirvorced, he keep saying if i shld ve a child 4 him he will then use that as an excuse 2 dirvorce d lady.  his family really accepted me whenever i visit 9ja they treat me very well,
but lately a friend of  mine usuall tell myself and my boyfriend 2 always put her in prayer that a good man shld come her way, so i travelled 2 9ja b4 i got back my boyfriend asked her out she refused,  she called me up saying all my boyfriend said about me that he doesnt love me that he is only passing time with me .  when i got back he begeged me that he didnt knw what came over him.   since then i hated him like mad, himself and his family member wants me 2 get married 2 him as quick as possible , but i dnt see myself lovin him any longer, now i begin to see loads of faults in him,  he is everywhere begging me 2 marry him.

The poster has made up her mind already and only seemingly wants the empathy and sympathy of NLers. How about this - she should forgive him and go back to him since even his family members are all over her to marry him. After all, didn't Jesus say we should forgive our offenders seventy times seven times in a day? I am sure all the offences he has committed against her do not add up to that.

Points to ponder.

1. Her friend is desperately in need of a husband (a desperate person could take desperate measures such as destroying a "friend's" relationship - probably due to jealousy or so that the friend would diss the guy so she could in turn legally claim him).

2. The guy confessed he didn't know what came over him (he may have been jazzed, otu mo kpoed etc by the fiancee's friend).

3. There just may be some things about this matter that we are yet to know.

Men are creatures of habit. the guy's obviously insecure and confused. He lost interest
in his wife, and he has lost interest in you. He wudnt be askin your friend out if he was
serious about you. Ditch him and move on with your life.

Abeg shift make I pass