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Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Literature / My Book Of Rants! (80161 Views)
Collection Of My Rants / Nairaland Book Of Puns- Lovers Of Wordplay, Let's Pun! / My Book Of Quotes (2) (3) (4)
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Re: My Book Of Rants! by vescucci(m): 4:00pm On Oct 29, 2008 |
I kill the guy The guy died I don't know whether the guy went to heaven or hell or in between or nowhere at all I really do not care As long as he is dead And I'm alive But now without him to kill I'm purposeless I feel like dying But then I might meet him in heaven or hell or in between or nowhere at all So I think that's a bad idea Now being alive is also a bad idea Since I no get work So I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place How's that you gothic enthusiasts? |
Re: My Book Of Rants! by bluspice(f): 6:23pm On Oct 29, 2008 |
nice! we think its nice |
Re: My Book Of Rants! by vescucci(m): 8:27pm On Oct 29, 2008 |
Well, I'd bet my sixth finger you'd like it. No surprise at alll |
Re: My Book Of Rants! by bluspice(f): 8:56am On Oct 30, 2008 |
lol wat is that supposed to mean? |
Re: My Book Of Rants! by Gamine(f): 9:33am On Oct 30, 2008 |
@Ariblaze, Sometime soon. @Mistiky, i know we are all guilty of this, and yes i am as guilty as those in holly, nolly and bollywood [i]is this a legit rant [/i]i asked, go figure. @Vesc, i will get back to you dont kill anyone before i do ooh! |
Re: My Book Of Rants! by ariblaze(m): 12:53pm On Oct 30, 2008 |
you killed the guy how did you kill the guy? killing the guy itself here isnt the joy it is the how the guy died that you should derive satisfaction from when ever you feel without a life purpose you live off the high of the kill i like that word the kill it means the actual thing is not what is killed, but how its killed you need to know the how,put more emphasis on it than the what was killed if i were to write what you wrote i would say i killed the guy the guy died a slow and agonising death i shoved a pipe slowly and delicately down his throat then proceeded to lightly tap the pipe with my hammer removed his toenails with rusted pliers,poured hot oil on it for effects mounted him on a pike and turned his belly to my dart board his screams of agony gave me an overwhelming thrill he passed out.with the attention of an ER nurse i nursed him back to conciuosness i wanted his full attention when i work on him, i dint want him to miss any moment for him,death would take a leisure stroll to he would stop to drink coffee fill his tank decide halfway,he doesnt like his outfit go back home to change it if it was left to me death would take a well deserved day off that very day pain would work overtime. thats what i would write good sir, to correct you we arent gothic enthusiasts we just love to rant, you would love it too if you joined us life is a rant!!!!!! 2008 nov 30th sir rantalot aka ariblaze |
Re: My Book Of Rants! by vescucci(m): 1:26pm On Oct 30, 2008 |
@Bluspice. I meant since I do not have a sixth finger, I'm so pleased you like the stuff I cooked up randomly. And there was no way to tell that you would? happy? |
Re: My Book Of Rants! by vescucci(m): 1:39pm On Oct 30, 2008 |
@Ariblaze. Very good. But u know, I wasn't really trying. I was bored silly and came up with a boring 'rant' That's why I was surprised Bluspice 'liked' it. |
Re: My Book Of Rants! by ariblaze(m): 2:11pm On Oct 30, 2008 |
sir, your previous writeups i have seen,and the evil lurking within you i can imagine,so fear not i i know you dint write at your best,which goes to prove you are also err a gothic enthusiast! |
Re: My Book Of Rants! by ariblaze(m): 2:27pm On Oct 30, 2008 |
predator stalks predator i am feeling rather chatty today but to wired up to writegood not that i am anything near good a predator has natural preys some predators are preys of others what happens when predators of equal footing meet? say a tiger and a lioness a leopard,panther or jaguar? what gives? a stalker stalking a stalker who doubles round to stalk whilst being stalked? interesting?or better yet confusing? thats what i am today yesterday was a day of hurt today is a day of confusion 'i cant be clever' made that happen so stalkers circling eachother,one willing to go for the kill the other hanging back,but by no means a coward not making sense she?dont worry am as confused too i am lost yet,the occasional burst of light i think i see from the eyes of that whom i stalk,i got tired wanted to breakoff the circle of stalking,but that burst of light keeps me hoping,i feed strenght and resolution off it, thus another circle of circling begins,still no promises but its a circle i would willing go through anyday anytime have i lost it?have i lost my predatory instincts,am i too grounded in this?sadly the answer would be yes a tiger turned to a housecat thats what i feel like but by no means do i abhor it a 100% now i have lost it:::::::this ramblings have to stop::::::::i shall not be labelled a ward7 case |
Re: My Book Of Rants! by vescucci(m): 2:37pm On Oct 30, 2008 |
Don't ask cuz I'm clueless too! Methinks you need a bottle of Schweps! |
Re: My Book Of Rants! by ariblaze(m): 3:02pm On Oct 30, 2008 |
Methinks you need a bottle of Schweps! i reckon i would need something harder ok lets have a lil bit of wily rant coming right up |
Re: My Book Of Rants! by vescucci(m): 3:20pm On Oct 30, 2008 |
Don't be too graphic will, ya The ladies won't talk to you again They'd figure u is a career killer |
Re: My Book Of Rants! by ariblaze(m): 5:02pm On Oct 30, 2008 |
lets revisit this: who is a player,you or i? ok, so am in my late 20s, well an average job in a company that has more name than salary paid to workers, have my own apartment ,drive a german machine. get the picture(note i dont necesarrily have money in my account o) and am certainly not the finest guy on the block, but now am suddenly marriage material and the chicks that wont even bother to say hi , say 5 years ago suddenly just ring to say hi, am like hi, i dint know you had my number , they like of course i do, just have being busy thats all(for 4 freaking years . ya right!) am sure some of you brothers are going through this too, suddenly you are being considered, a tad responsible or managable , you are now a very close friend, what you would do to gross her out before doesnt , faze her anymore we are slowly yet steadily being wormed in like a a spider would lure its prey, pray tell me who exactly is the player now! men for wanting to score more skirts than the number of fingers we have on our hands ,whilst in school or the women , as they approach mid/late 20swho set their sights on you and sink their claws into you till you have not even enough room to squirm? wrote this awhile back,decided not to edit it,and i think it merits re-visiting disclaimer:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::dont you for any reason think it is about you:::::::::: |
Re: My Book Of Rants! by Gamine(f): 5:28pm On Oct 30, 2008 |
duh!! |
Re: My Book Of Rants! by ariblaze(m): 6:03pm On Oct 30, 2008 |
a break from the rants this gave me a laugh office party After the annual office Christmas party blow-out, John woke up with a pounding headache, cotton-mouthed, and utterly unable to recall the events of the preceding evening. After a trip to the bathroom he was able to make his way downstairs, where his wife put some coffee in front of him. "Louise," he moaned, "tell me what went on last night. Was it as bad as I think?" "Even worse," she assured him in her most scornful one. "You made a complete jerk of yourself, succeeded in antagonizing the entire board of directors, and insulted the chairman of the company to his face." "He's an arrogant, self-important pig, piss on him!" "You did. All over his suit," Louise informed him. "And he fired you." "Well, screw him," said John. "I did. You're back at work on Monday." |
Re: My Book Of Rants! by Nobody: 1:44am On Oct 31, 2008 |
"Well, screw him," said John. Lol. ariblaze: Lol, have mercy sir, we were blind but now can see It's not our fault |
Re: My Book Of Rants! by Gamine(f): 1:12pm On Oct 31, 2008 |
Please Lord Give me Grace to OUTSHINE them!! And the PoWER to Impress. is it so wrong to crave recognition second best doesnt run well with me is it wrong to want the best is it so wrong to work hard for the Top. Please Lord Tonight Make me a Star i will charm i will dazzle them with my wit i will OUTSHINE ALL!!!!!!!!!! |
Re: My Book Of Rants! by ariblaze(m): 2:22pm On Oct 31, 2008 |
lord,naughty We both know I am,hungry we both Know i am,scared we both Know i am,miracles we both know I want,gamine's writeup we both know i want Her love(lol not gami) we both kw i want Need i say more lord?for we both know what I want Ps:gamine i hav tapped into ur post nice one |
Re: My Book Of Rants! by vescucci(m): 3:44pm On Oct 31, 2008 |
I liked the joke. Mucho I feel ur 'now u love me' plight, Airblaze. Shine ur eyes Me, I dey always lay low, girls are not as mateerialistic as u think but many times they 'think' they're in love while they're not. They just want a manageable guy who can provide security. At all other rants, keep on ranting, runts! |
Re: My Book Of Rants! by ariblaze(m): 12:25am On Nov 01, 2008 |
good to know you Are finding your Rhytm with rants Lets have another Whatever happened to the usual suspects today? |
Re: My Book Of Rants! by Tgirl4real(f): 1:25am On Nov 01, 2008 |
what is all this about rants they say i really don't get shouldn't i be sleeping but i find myself reading hmm, rants indeed |
Re: My Book Of Rants! by bluspice(f): 10:55pm On Nov 01, 2008 |
hmmm i should get my twin down here she'll absolutely love this nywais so yeah been very busy having fun of late so i have nuffin to rant about i know something is coming soon i can feel it |
Re: My Book Of Rants! by ariblaze(m): 10:34am On Nov 02, 2008 |
CAUTION i can change from zero to bitch in 2.5 seconds that i saw on a car whilst driving to work this morning(yeah am one of those with those kinda annoying jobs) the evil within came to fore i overtook, swerved rather abruptly almost forced her off,a few meters more came to a crawl right in front of her by this time ,peplexed she was, fun i was having i want to see the bitch , i want to see the bitch, i want to see the bitch my mind screamed , i am spoiling for fun,bitchy, bitchy bitchy,come out lemmie get you and out the bitch came,swerving outlane,countered her move started smiling,but unfortunately i came to my turning had to veer off, with a thumbs up sign to her, suffice to say , i got the five fingers but fun i had regardless when next i see her stop her i would liar i would call her for the bitch within her took about 4minutes to manifest should i be blamed for riling her up? or should she be blamed for pasting i care less actually, i enjoyed taunting her |
Re: My Book Of Rants! by ariblaze(m): 12:36pm On Nov 02, 2008 |
that drunken bugger! A drunk walked into a bar crying. One of the other men in the bar asked him what happened. “I did a terrible thing,” sniffed the drunk, “Just a few hours ago I sold my wife to someone for a bottle of champagne.” “That is awful,” said the other guy, “And now that she’s gone you want her back right?” “Right!” said the drunk, still crying. “You’re sorry you sold her because you realized too late that you still loved her, right?” “Oh, no,” said the drunk. “I want her back because I’m thirsty again!” |
Re: My Book Of Rants! by ariblaze(m): 1:16pm On Nov 02, 2008 |
and i cried Puppy love” is a good term for describing your take on romance: fun, frisky, playful, cuddly, and young at heart. No matter what your age or how many times your heart has been broken, you are an eternal optimist when it comes to love. You are not someone who proceeds cautiously when you meet someone you find attractive. You are likely to fall passionately in love--or at least lust-- quickly, spontaneously, and with total abandon. Holding something back for later is a concept you can’t quite grasp, especially when it comes to the joy of creating a new and exciting relationship. Yes, COMMITMENT can scare you. That one word may explain why you are still single at thirty, forty, fifty, or beyond. But you love, absolutely love, the concept of intimacy, sharing and relationships. If only you could find that special one, you would be set for life. thats whats said about my perosnality pathetic huh? am gonna find a deep , dark, murky hole and crawl into now |
Re: My Book Of Rants! by Gamine(f): 9:00pm On Nov 02, 2008 |
awwwww |
Re: My Book Of Rants! by bluespice(f): 11:07pm On Nov 02, 2008 |
not pathetic actually, cant quite place the word. . . trusting? too trusting? very trusting yes very trusting almost innocent no u are not pathetic u are simply playing love like it should be- simple uncomplicated spontaneous fun and beautiful |
Re: My Book Of Rants! by Nobody: 1:58am On Nov 03, 2008 |
Time to rant My mind's tired, I feel it My brain's shrunk, I feel it!!! Old age? God forbid!!! Perfection to the fullest I crave for, not semi perfection, quarter perfection or a substitute . . . Yes I know noone's perfect *nods head* But should I settle for less? Never!!! *the stubborn shriek again?* Spirit, soul and body. . . Wish I could separate the trio with my bare hands and resuscitate each one of them because I've become so numb *rolls eyes* *Linkin Parks*, love you though Need to get back, neeeeeeeeeed to get back. Shed some stubborn shrieks, darling, you'll be alright |
Re: My Book Of Rants! by ariblaze(m): 7:58am On Nov 03, 2008 |
Gamine: lol, thanks for the emphathy but i cant be down for that long bluespice: you just made me feel blue |
Re: My Book Of Rants! by ariblaze(m): 2:24pm On Nov 03, 2008 |
someone whose opinion i take like very seriously,just said my writting has gone mush that i should care if one Psychotic bitch is reading(note its a direct quote o) so since i aim to please this person, and am too tired to write here something i wrote a few ago in my not-too sane moments p.s:gami one word from you and its the hole for you THAT EMBARASSING STIFFY! I DONT KNW IF ITS TAT AM GRACIOUSLY ENDOWED OR MY DRAWERS HAVE GROWN RIDICLOUSLY SMALLER BUT ON MOST DAYS I ALWAYS FIND ME HANGING ALITTLE BIT FURTHER THAN THE HEM OF MY BOXERS, AND IF I HAPPEN TO BE IN ANY O POSITION OTHER THAN D UPRIGHT {WAHALA}THEN I AM IN TROUBLE WITH THIS KNOWN FACT ,U CAN KNOW HOW IT IS TO HAVE TAT CHEMICAL REAVCTION WHICH CAUSES THE PHYSICAL MANIFESTATION 'EL STIFFY' ,HONESTLY WITH THE FABRICS DRAWERS OF NOWADAYS ARE MADE OF ,EVEN THE STIFFEST OF JEANS CANT SAVE THAT EMBARASSING RESULT NOTE ITS NOT AS IF AM A RANDY DUDE ,BUT ATIMES 'EL STIFFY JUST WONT LISTEN TO MY INSTRUCTIONS,ALL IT TAKES IS A STEAMY THOT{I TRY AND PURGE MYSELF OF SUCH}AND USUALLY AM ABOUT 90%SUCCESSFUL,BUT IT IS TAT 10%TAT REALLY BOTHERS ME,THEY SAY MALES THINK ABOUT SEX EVERY 7MINS ,BUT IS IT FASHIONABLE TO ALSO BE CARRYING A STIFFY EVERY OTHER 49MINS |
Re: My Book Of Rants! by vescucci(m): 6:10pm On Nov 03, 2008 |
Priapism dude, Priapism! |
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