i urgently need your advice my white wedding is on August ,i found out yesterday a lady is pregnant for my future husband.we have done the traditional marriage and the court.sholud i quit because all preparations have been made.
i am confused

I would quit

ladyaijay:

i urgently need your advice my white wedding is on August ,i found out yesterday a lady is pregnant for my future husband.we have done the traditional marriage and the court.sholud i quit because all preparations have been made.
i am confused

oh shit this is ridiculous if I was u I will sit and discuss things with him and find out why he did this foolish thing for. after talking with he, then you can take ur decision

ibkaye:

I would quit

It is very easy to say.

@poster

Thank  God you haven't said I DO!

Turn around, blow him a kiss over your shoulder and catwalk away!!!

With your Dignity in tact (might i add)

Godalone:

It is very easy to say.

And very easy to do . . . . to someone who has abolutley no regard for you and decides to insult you and the future you both were planning together.

Godalone:

It is very easy to say.

Yes it is

ibkaye:

Yes it is

Na waa ooooo !!!!!!

i have spoken with him the lady has been all over him and he actually told me about her sometime ago,i told him to ignore  her but i now know he didnt, she had the guts to mail me telling me what transpired between them,he didnt deny it, but he has been begging for my forgiveness, he told her to abort the child but she has refused,she said she would keep the child. i dont knw what to do we have all the plans arranged only to know about this. what will i tell our folks and the invited guest,if we quit.

I have a friend who once had this type of problem. She lived in PH while the guy was in warri. after the introduction and while preparing for the wedding a young girl got pregnant for the guy. She promptly walk out. Turned out the girl and the guy were not actually lovers but fell into a temptation and did it once but that was enough to result in pregnancy.

on hindsight, my friend now agrees she should have done more to save her relationship.

What you have to do depends on your feeling for the guy, his feelings for you and his plans for the pregnancy. If I were you I could go ahead with the marriage to spite the girl, since she is hell bent on forcing herself on your man. Why should you concede defeat to a scheming woman.
Wish you good luck

oh! I would leave him 4 sure

NaJa HaJe:

And very easy to do . . . . to someone who has abolutley no regard for you and decides to insult you and the future you both were planning together.

exactly!

ladyaijay:

i have spoken with him the lady has been all over him and he actually told me about her sometime ago,i told him to ignore  her but i now know he didnt, she had the guts to mail me telling me what transpired between them,he didnt deny it, but he has been begging for my forgiveness, he told her to abort the child but she has refused,she said she would keep the child. i don't knw what to do we have all the plans arranged only to know about this. what will i tell our folks and the invited guest,if we quit.

after reading this I think he love u. if I were u I wouldn't quit. as last king said temptation can some time put people in situation like this. you know how guys are crazy about sex I guess it was just lust he had for the that lady. if u really like him and u truly believe he love u then give he this last chance. but he should promise u to not comment such mistake again.

@poster i think u should hold tight 2 ur man, sit him down, talk over it and let him
ackowledge his mistakes afterall no one is above mistake, this will save you and ur family
from the humilation even if she decides to keep the baby, she is only tryin to mess
up ur big day and the only way she can win is if you look back;  Most ladies will tell you to call
off the wedding my dear 2 words of advice "hold tight" dont make a mistake u might spend
the rest of ur life reflecting on. There aint a lot of men outthere 2day.

its over i fear

@ibkaye , so wot would you do if ur man decides to impregnate someone

after you guys are both married, still quit ??

@poster
don't listen to people saying u should leave him just like that,whatever you decide to do,have a talk with him and make him tell you everything then u can go away and weight your options,

rokiatu:

oh shit this is ridiculous if I was u I will sit and discuss things with him and find out why he did this foolish thing for. after talking with he, then you can take your decision

the only sensible comment i have read,just turning round and walking out is completely naive after all the time she has invested in the relationship to get to that level,not to talk of the wedding preparations in a place like nigeria where maybe hundreds of guests

dudu19:

@ibkaye , so wot would you do if your man decides to impregnate someone

after you guys are both married, still quit ??

even worse, yes i would quit

ibkaye:

even worse, yes i would quit

@ IB, is easier daid than done.

ladyaijay:

i have spoken with him the lady has been all over him and he actually told me about her sometime ago,i told him to ignore  her but i now know he didnt, she had the guts to mail me telling me what transpired between them,he didnt deny it, but he has been begging for my forgiveness, he told her to abort the child but she has refused,she said she would keep the child. i don't knw what to do we have all the plans arranged only to know about this. what will i tell our folks and the invited guest,if we quit.

hold your man. he is begging  you, he has chosen you over the other lady, thats something. only a few men can ignore a beautiful temptation.

NaJa HaJe:

And very easy to do . . . . to someone who has abolutley no regard for you and decides to insult you and the future you both were planning together.

It wasn't the guy who decided to get pregnant. its the scheming lady. why help her achieve her aim. and why punish the man for the scheming of another woman.

chisimdi:

@ IB, is easier daid than done.

yes it is, it may be harder to do, but where there's a will, there's a way

Last King:


It wasn't the guy who decided to get pregnant. its the scheming lady. why help her achieve her aim. and why punish the man for the scheming of another woman.

ohhh i feel you, the woman obviously had sex with herself in which the baby was produced, not the man's fault at all, i feel you

You need the full facts to decide. He was not raped so he does not have an excuse.  He knew this woman wanted him and yet he still went for her.  This is the worstkindof betrayal.  He was totally aware of what was happening.  Hes not upset he did it hes upset he got caught.  

Its up to you what you want to do. Just remember from now on she will always be in your lives.  If she has hunted him as you claim she has only just started just wait till her family get involved and demand your husband marries her as well.

And PLEASE FOR GODS SAKE DONT MARRY HIM TO SAVE FACE!

Forget the money spent.

@ poster if u truly luv and believe in ur Guy, i will honestly tell u 2 stick wit him and wk it out.

I wouldn't just throw away all our plans, I'd talk about things.

At what stage in your relationship did your man sleep with the other lady?

ibkaye:

even worse, yes i would quit

I think you don't know what it takes to build a relationship and i guess you are not in a deep relationship to say.

Poster

What you need do is sit him down and discuss the issu with him. Are you even sure it is not the devil's advocate at work? Maybe some mischievous people are only trying to see thing go wrong for you. Pls discuss it with him and it is not the end of the world even if it is true. I wish you happy married life.

LadyT:

You need the full facts to decide. He was not raped so he does not have an excuse.  He knew this woman wanted him and yet he still went for her.  This is the worstkindof betrayal.  He was totally aware of what was happening.  Hes not upset he did it hes upset he got caught.  

Its up to you what you want to do. Just remember from now on she will always be in your lives.  If she has hunted him as you claim she has only just started just wait till her family get involved and demand your husband marries her as well.

And PLEASE FOR GODS SAKE DONT MARRY HIM TO SAVE FACE!

Forget the money spent.

seconded

everyone shld take reponsibility for their actions  

ibkaye:

yes it is, it may be harder to do, but where there's a will, there's a way

I always tell pple dat d only way out of a situation,is 4 dem 2 b in dat same situation,only den will i b able 2 judge.

for goodness sake if he was truly sorry for what he did, he would have told you before hand instead of keeping it a secret, just a coincidence and unfortunate case that you found out moments before your wedding, he got caught out, don't be fooled jare

bluehorizo:

I think you don't know what it takes to build a relationship and i guess you are not in a deep relationship to say.

you think so

chisimdi:

I always tell people that d only way out of a situation,is 4 them 2 b in that same situation,only den will i b able 2 judge.

well, she is asking for opinions, this is my own opinion at this moment in time

@ poster d best advice u can get,is d one u give 2 urself.Talk it htru wit ur guy,and u decide on wat u want.

Everyone will tell you to "save your relationship" afterall he "chose you over the other lady" . . . my dear fellas lets turn the tables. 2 weeks to your wedding ur bride is pregnant for a stranger . . . will you still "save your relationship"?

I dont like cheats, its not something that can be easily overcome. Once a cheat forever a cheat . . . lady, you will forever continue living in worry not knowing who he is with and who else has a child for him out there that you dont know.
Best thing is to quit the relationship, once trust is lost in a relationship there is pretty much nothing left.