jennykadry: Continuation: I am not against people test driving however, don't discourage people that chose not to engage in it. Sexual compartibility or not, it's their choice.

I am 100% against it. The only reason that I don't go on the offensive is that I understand human weakness. I meant my wedding night to be my first, but I didn't make it. I understand the temptation and the difficulty. But I will not go easy on anyone who tries to pass off sexxual promiscuity as something right and worthy of social acceptance. It is wrong and morally reprehensible. It is one of the three things that stands this world on its head today. So even though I'm always defending, I take no prisoners here.

And I wish Christians will stop this "to each his own" nonsense.

Ihedinobi:
Chai! See over-bad fvckup! Na dat kain tin de fear me die. I don't see any way that I can enjoy sexx when I'm not driving her out of her mind. I have always hated mechanical engineering like that.

Rofl @ mechanical engineering
you prefer electrical/electronics

salsera: both coogar n ihedinobi (no be today) get sense

just that coogar can wind you up sootay....you go buy popcorn like ypp

This monotony matter odikwa risky

So coogar and dayokanu
How do you handle monotony? (drinking zobo)

dealing with monotony is easy.
this is why everyone should marry their best friend. people you share a lot of things in common with.

Ihedinobi:
I am 100% against it. The only reason that I don't go on the offensive is that I understand human weakness. I meant my wedding night to be my first, but I didn't make it. I understand the temptation and the difficulty. But I will not go easy on anyone who tries to pass off sexxual promiscuity as something right and worthy of social acceptance. It is wrong and morally reprehensible. It is one of the three things that stands this world on its head today. So even though I'm always defending, I take no prisoners here.

And I wish Christians will stop this "to each his own" nonsense.

If people want totest drive what is my business ni? I remember osisi and I disagreed slightly on this a few months ago, the only question I kept asking was "is the bible in support of it or not"...there is no big or small sin, so a virgin might have committed sins without her knowing and might not be as "clear" in the eyes of God than a test driver. David was a man after Gods heart although he got his own portion, Solomon was blessed with so much wisdom even with his straying pen!s. If people cannot afford to wait, it's their business to do tiro not do it... This race we run in life is an individual race , I am running my own race.

The bible said , marriage is honorable bed undefiled... My question a few months ago was why are we selective readers? We read what we wanno hear and toss the ones we don't want.

Baby mama:

Rofl @ mechanical engineering
you prefer electrical/electronics

Madam, na wa for you o. I'm a proud Igbo man, it's a double major in water engineering and gynaecology or better. Nothing less.

coogar:

his wife's refusal to fix her frigidity isn't going to solve the problems as well. how long can a man wait for before enjoying his marriage. he waited before marriage & he is being made to wait after his marriage?

men are not wired like women when it comes to sex. he's a married man for heaven's sake & he's still sëxually frustrated. how long should he wait for? he's exhausted with being made to look like a sex maniac.

She isn't 'refusing' to 'fix' her low libido and neither is the man being made to wait. Even Dayo's confirmed that they haven't tried out the sex therapy route, probably out of ignorance on both parts. That notwithstanding, the man is supposed to be the head of his home. The captain of his ship. So without much ado, he should put his hands down in his pants, find his balls and make a decision to sort this out properly.

coogar: that's a risk he will have to live with. big rewards come with big risks.

You call dicing with death (STDs / STIs) a risk worth taking for big rewards? Like seriously?

How is catching HIV a risk worth taking? Or any other STD nasties out there that might affect their fertility? You know that was an irresponsible response of yours.

coogar: he is getting sex without having to ask for it all the time. the sëx keeps him safe. it means less argument in the house with his wife. he's less stressed & more focused. he can sleep easy at night without having to upset his wife with sex demands.

Safe from what? Seems you've never heard of wives dishing out jungle justice to their husbands wandering third leg.

coogar: for better for worse does not cover sex. sex is his conjugal rights. he's being denied his rights if the wife is too frigid. he has 2 options, leave the wife or seek sex outside the marriage. the latter is the easier route. if he leaves the wife the romantics would quickly bring out how much she's invested in the man.

You make it sound as though they had a shotgun marriage. He wasn't a sacrificial lamb being led to the alter. It was his decision to get married to her and I bet you, he probably proposed to her and not the other way round. And yes, the for better for worse should cover problem, every issue, every bump on the road called marriage. They are united as one so their problems should be shared. It's no longer 'her' problem or 'his' problem but their problem.

Good you've acknowledged he's taken the easier route. I think it's more than that. Let's just say he's taken the coward's way out.

Doesn't the fact that the poor woman cried when confronted by him and even offered herself at that point, tell you that she too isn't happy about the situation and would like for it to be resolved? And you honestly think him flapping his thing at every moving skirt is the solution to their problems?

coogar: that's exactly what she would do......
just because women are discreet about this does not mean they don't choose the easier route as well. while dayo's friend can reveal his infidelity openly, a woman in his shoes would not do the same. she will be secretly shägging her next door neighbour.

women are into infidelity too - they just don't get to be open about it like men. any man that is denying his wife sex should not be too surprised the woman is cheating outside. i have seen enough episodes on cheaters to know women cheat as much as men, if not more - they are just more careful about it.

Be that as it may, two wrongs never make a right.

Let me give a very close example.
Very very close.
A guy I know very well once he taste drives, he will just dislike u for no reason.
At first we were worried why he has not yet settled down. Ladies were flocking, he continues to test drive( he is all u want in a man times two).
It was his nebor(a lady) maybe a psychologist that interrogated him well and found out that he will naturally hate anybody he taste drives. Though he might be telling them sweet nothings just for them to open but inside him, he cannot settle down with those chicks.

So one day, a lady friend to that his nebor visited and this guy declared interest.
The lady has interest too but this their friend told the lady not to agree to test driving.
Today they have three kids. Even after the bride price, she didn't agree till the weddin ban was announced.
I can still remember how mad he was the night after d bride price day the wife slept with the sis. He said , I will do my wedding soon, let me c who will stop me again.


This is a family member story but we can deduct a lot from it.

jennykadry:

If people want totest drive what is my business ni? I remember osisi and I disagreed slightly on this a few months ago, the only question I kept asking was "is the bible in support of it or not"...there is no big or small sin, so a virgin might have committed sins without her knowing and might not be as "clear" in the eyes of God than a test driver. David was a man after Gods heart although he got his own portion, Solomon was blessed with so much wisdom even with his straying pen!s. If people cannot afford to wait, it's their business to do tiro not do it... This race we run in life is an individual race , I am running my own race.

The bible said , marriage is honorable bed undefiled... My question a few months ago was why are we selective readers? We read what we wanno hear and toss the ones we don't want.

Jenny, I'm curious.

What's your definition of a virgin?

Ihedinobi:
I am 100% against it. The only reason that I don't go on the offensive is that I understand human weakness. I meant my wedding night to be my first, but I didn't make it. I understand the temptation and the difficulty. But I will not go easy on anyone who tries to pass off sexxual promiscuity as something right and worthy of social acceptance. It is wrong and morally reprehensible. It is one of the three things that stands this world on its head today. So even though I'm always defending, I take no prisoners here.

And I wish Christians will stop this "to each his own" nonsense.

Yeah, yeah...

After tasting, eating and digesting the apple of seduction, you scream foul?

Oh please! You'll have a better leg to stand on if you'd never touched it in the first place. You were supposed to 'pluck' out your eyes least they cause you to SIN.

So why didn't you?

jennykadry:

If people want totest drive what is my business ni? I remember osisi and I disagreed slightly on this a few months ago, the only question I kept asking was "is the bible in support of it or not"...there is no big or small sin, so a virgin might have committed sins without her knowing and might not be as "clear" in the eyes of God than a test driver. David was a man after Gods heart although he got his own portion, Solomon was blessed with so much wisdom even with his straying pen!s. If people cannot afford to wait, it's their business to do tiro not do it... This race we run in life is an individual race , I am running my own race.

The bible said , marriage is honorable bed undefiled... My question a few months ago was why are we selective readers? We read what we wanno hear and toss the ones we don't want.

This sounds like it will make an interesting discussion but it can't be on this thread. And I'm trying to get off NL right now so we can only take it on at full steam later.

For now and to set the mood, I have the following to say:

1. It's a common fallacy today that all sins are equal. Common, I said, yes, but still a fallacy. The Bible also spoke of sins that are unto death (and even described an example of one such) and sins not unto death. It also talks of a sin that cannot be forgiven. If all sins are equal, all sins should have the same outworking and be treated the same way.

2. Everything about today's world is the Christian's business. This whole world has been bought with very.precious blood. And the Buyer committed its welfare to us. It is a terrible thing to cast off that responsibility.

3. David and Solomon were not blessed either for their sin or in spite of it. It is because of mercy that we are not consumed. Did you notice how David repented? Did you notice that Solomon returned to God after his foolishness? Did you notice what their sin brought?

4. That some people do not receive the recompense of their evil here on earth does not mean that their evil is not evil but only some small difference of opinion.

I know the angle you are coming from efe and I know where it's headed but unfortunately I'm not headed that way right now ......no form of intimacy is my definition of a virgin.

It's late here, una good night

jennykadry: I know the angle you are coming from efe and I know where it's headed but unfortunately I'm not headed that way right now ......no form of intimacy is my definition of a virgin.

It's late here, una good night

Lol!

See Ojoro!

Okay then, good night babes

Efemena_xy:

She isn't 'refusing' to 'fix' her low libido and neither is the man being made to wait. Even Dayo's confirmed that they haven't tried out the sex therapy route, probably out of ignorance on both parts. That notwithstanding, the man is supposed to be the head of his home. The captain of his ship. So without much ado, he should put his hands down in his pants, find his balls and make a decision to sort this out properly.

what's sex therapy going to achieve? therapy can't conjure up sëxual compatibility. they will just waste money listening to nonsense. she probably finds the man unattractive when he takes his clothes off. it could be body odour, it could be anything. maybe dayo's friend is even uncircumcised - dayo has a lot of weird friends so it's a possibility. what can therapy do to such problems?

test-drive - they won't listen until they use their own hands to screw up their marriage.

You call dicing with death (STDs / STIs) a risk worth taking for big rewards? Like seriously?

How is catching HIV a risk worth taking? Or any other STD nasties out there that might affect their fertility? You know that was an irresponsible response of yours.

christ!
that was a typo - i was meant to say the sex keeps him sane

Safe from what? Seems you've never heard of wives dishing out jungle justice to their husbands wandering third leg.

i'm sure he's assessed the risks before going for it. surely, he cannot be that morönic to choose an option where the risks outweigh the rewards. he didn't get to where he is today by being stüpid.

You make it sound as though they had a shotgun marriage. He wasn't a sacrificial lamb being led to the alter. It was his decision to get married to her and I bet you, he probably proposed to her and not the other way round. And yes, the for better for worse should cover problem, every issue, every bump on the road called marriage. They are united as one so their problems should be shared. It's no longer 'her' problem or 'his' problem but their problem.

his decision to get married to her or not, they both failed to do the needful - they did not test drive. which is worse? premarital sex or infidelity/divorce? i am sure the wife would wish she had test-driven when she finds out her hubby has been eaten forbidden agbalumos

Good you've acknowledged he's taken the easier route. I think it's more than that. Let's just say he's taken the coward's way out.

coward's way? you think cheating on one's spouse is easy? jeeeeez - it requires loads of efforts. i can't even start listing what it entails.

Doesn't the fact that the poor woman cried when confronted by him and even offered herself at that point, tell you that she too isn't happy about the situation and would like for it to be resolved? And you honestly think him flapping his thing at every moving skirt is the solution to their problems?

which sane man would want pity sex? not me!!!! only räpists would make love to a woman with tears in her eyes. nothing irritates me more than a woman that is forcing herself to give sëx. if she's not willing, she should zip up.

Be that as it may, two wrongs never make a right.

one wrong won't make a right too.

zinnyy: Thanks Babymama for this great thread,
am actually going crazy bit by bit
my marriage is just 8 months old and am just not feeling it any longer
first of all, we didnt really court before marriage(no intimate meetings), although we've known each other for a year plus before marriage
after marriage, i found out that we are just so different
yes, he is all i wanted in a man, but our sex life is nothing to write home about
he was my first, but i know there is something about sex am missing
it's so bad now that i dont enjoy it any longer. he too is not a sex freak either
we can stay for a whole week without sex.
that one apart* i feel so not loved* he doesnt pet, cuddle and hardly call me pet names, when i try to tease him that he doesnt love me
he comes with this his favorite line* am not an emotional person i dont profess luv bt i act it* bla bla bla(still waiting for the action)
he complains a lot* your legs are like that of footballers, you should shave the hairs on your legs, so so person does it
i've always dated and wanted to marry a very fair lady and so on i cant write here
i asked him why he came to me since am not that fair
he said he didnt look at the physical, but the spiritual.

He is a good man though, but this was not what i bargained for.
still praying for a change.

I read this again and felt very sad for you
It would destroy me emotionally to have my man compare me to another woman
I am not too happy about what you tell me about this guy
I doubt if I could ever love a man that tells me to my face that he married me for the spiritual
In other words he is not attracted whatsoever to me
I would feel 419ed,maggard,mugued,, deceived,conned ,used and abused

He needs to do the work to remedy this marriage not you because I don't know how to tell a woman to make a man love her when he never did and tells you that
He loves fair skinned women but married you?
Unbelievable!!
This is emotional abuse my dear
That man doesn't care a thing about you

He has said everything that needs to be said
He is not attracted to you
He Doesn't like being with you
Perhaps doesn't even like taking you out to be seen with you
There are other women out there he would rather you became like

Nne you are in the wrong marriage
Let me be blunt


This is why I strongly recommend courtship and hate long distance " courtships" too
Everywoman needs that period of discovery
Do not marry anyone without getting to know him closely

If I were you,I would open my eyes and find a man that loves me ,file for a divorce and leave him
I can never beg a man to love me
Never!!

Efemena_xy:

Lol!

See Ojoro!

Okay then, good night babes

These days I am too lazy to type or argue, I do more of observing.you people like argument too much abeg

Good night darling...go and enjoy hoodless more oooops I meant go and sin no more

Efemena_xy: Yeah, yeah...

After tasting, eating and digesting the apple of seduction, you scream foul?

Oh please! You'll have a better leg to stand on if you'd never touched it in the first place. You were supposed to 'pluck' out your eyes least they cause you to SIN.

So why didn't you?

Efe, you wan use laff kill me, abi? If I didn't have experience, however immoral, you would accuse me of being idealistic and impractical. Now that I do, I'm not worthy to preach. LOL! Seriously you need to see how I'm laughing here.

Temptation is real and everybody faces it one way or another. Some fall and recover from their failure. Some fall and refuse to accept their failure and rather than recover let it claim their soul. Yet others do not fall at all. I fell, Efe. Bit I didn't stay down. I'm still in the fight and I don't plan on losing it. Now that's reality, not idealism

And I'm in the very best position. I know the taste of failure as many do. I know the insides of weakness and the allure to yield. But I also know the strength to say No. I'm right where I ought to be.

Besides, everybody knows, tasting it once does not make you tired of it So it's not like I've had my fun and wanna deny others.

Baby mama:

I read this again and felt very sad for you
It would destroy me emotionally to have my man compare me to another woman
I am not too happy about what you tell me about this guy
I doubt if I could ever love a man that tells me to my face that he married me for the spiritual
In other words he is not attracted whatsoever to me
I would feel deceived,conned ,used and abused

He needs to do the work to remedy this marriage not you because I don't know how to tell a woman to make a man love her when he never did and tells you that
He loves fair skinned women but married you?
Unbelievable!!
This is emotional abuse my dear
That man doesn't care a thing about you

He has said everything that needs to be said
He is not attracted to you
He Doesn't like being with you
Perhaps doesn't even like taking you out to be seen with you
There are other women out there he would rather you became like

Nne you are in the wrong marriage
Let me be blunt


This is why I strongly recommend courtship and hate long distance " courtships" too
Everywoman needs that period of discovery
Do not marry anyone without getting to know him closely

If I were you,I would open my eyes and find a man that loves me ,file for a divorce and leave him
I can never beg a man to love me
Never!!

Please include contraception to your advise ASAP. that girl should not make the mistake of falling pregnant.

I am just seeing her post cos you quoted it and damnation I am feeling sleepy

jennykadry: I know the angle you are coming from efe and I know where it's headed but unfortunately I'm not headed that way right now ......no form of intimacy is my definition of a virgin.

It's late here, una good night

Good night o

jennykadry:

Please include contraception to your advise ASAP. that girl should not make the mistake of falling pregnant.

I am just seeing her post cos you quoted it and damnation I am feeling sleepy

Gbam!
The marriage is only 8 months,she could get it annulled
This was no marriage

Ihedinobi:
Good night o

Una good night, let me go and eat the allowable apple. This is Xmas period ....the period of baby making, the period were kpekus is experimented to its fullest capacity

SAgamite, debosky oya lets go diaaaaa

So now at the 13th page the thread hits front page
Hehehehe

jennykadry:

Una good night, let me go and eat the allowable apple. This is Xmas period ....the period of baby making, the period were kpekus is experimented to its fullest capacity

Baby mama:

Gbam!
The marriage is only 8 months,she could get it annulled
This was no marriage

this thread has reached front page.....
damn, this is going to be a long day.

however, annul the marriage?
he might have said those things without really meaning it. jokingly or in anger. people say things they don't really mean. zinny can also start dressing the way her hubby wants her to be. wives should put in the effort.

Baby mama: So now at the 13th page the thread hits front page
Hehehehe

YAAAAAYYYYY!!!!

Ihedinobi:

The period exercising a man's weapon of mass destruction. The period yekinis all over the world are standing at attention saluting the late yardua

jennykadry:

Una good night, let me go and eat the allowable apple. This is Xmas period ....the period of baby making, the period were kpekus is experimented to its fullest capacity

SAgamite, debosky oya lets go diaaaaa

Night dear
Ukwu Sara mbara na di ya nma

Your clients can resist opening your
mails buh they can't resist opening
your SMS !

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Baby mama:

Gbam!
The marriage is only 8 months,she could get it annulled
This was no marriage

That one no be marriage. She should just not fall preggers

Onlinebiz2012: Your clients can resist opening your
mails buh they can't resist opening
your SMS !

Create a SMS newsletter letter for your website and rich your clients faster


www.nairaland.com/1554688/sms-newsletter-effective-way-reach

Now mad people ,Ndi ara don enter
Onye ara Ogbete
Una see the disadvantages of front page

Lord I thank you o for this delay/preparation for marital life.

My eyes are really opening to a lot of things.So many mistakes I would have made if I had married earlier,clothed with naivity.

I can't say I have known it all but but am much wiser now

Thanks babymama,cc and efemena.ther guys too.

carmelion: Lord I thank you o for this delay/preparation for marital life.

My eyes are really opening to a lot of things.So many mistakes I would have made if I had married earlier,clothed with naivity.

I can't say I have known it all but but am much wiser now

Thanks babymama,cc and efemena.ther guys too.

Many more stuff you will learn on your own when the time comes
Glad the thread is helpful
I hope Seun sef is reading

coogar:

what's sex therapy going to achieve? therapy can't conjure up sëxual compatibility. they will just waste money listening to nonsense. she probably finds the man unattractive when he takes his clothes off. it could be body odour, it could be anything. maybe dayo's friend is even uncircumcised - dayo has a lot of weird friends so it's a possibility. what can therapy do to such problems?

test-drive - they won't listen until they use their own hands to screw up their marriage.

I think there's more to those therapy sessions than the couple being talked at. I think they also do intensive, demonstration classes where the couples are made to explore and experiment with each other. I suspect they might even be encouraged to go the whole way. I watched (or read) something about those classes. The details elude me - not that I've ever been to one though.

As per the rest of your response up there - it's just wack and I'm not going to reply it

coogar: christ!
that was a typo - i was meant to say the sex keeps him sane

i'm sure he's assessed the risks before going for it. surely, he cannot be that morönic to choose an option where the risks outweigh the rewards. he didn't get to where he is today by being stüpid.

Or maybe he's just been plain lucky so far - but one day, his luck will most certainly run out.

coogar: his decision to get married to her or not, they both failed to do the needful - they did not test drive. which is worse? premarital sex or infidelity/divorce? i am sure the wife would wish she had test-driven when she finds out her hubby has been eaten forbidden agbalumos

I'm not even that concerned about test driving or not. My stance is well known that I advocate it 101%

My gripe here is what the man's doing to his wife with his frolicking about town. It's not fair to her and if he's not careful, that marriage of his will hit the rocks. No one's perfect, but from the gist we've been told about the couple, she is almost perfect for him except in the bedroom department.

coogar: coward's way? you think cheating on one's spouse is easy? jeeeeez - it requires loads of efforts. i can't even start listing what it entails.

which sane man would want pity sex? not me!!!! only räpists would make love to a woman with tears in her eyes. nothing irritates me more than a woman that is forcing herself to give sëx. if she's not willing, she should zip up.

All the more reason why he should take the lead and help themselves sort this out. Having a low libido isn't the crime of the century.

coogar: one wrong won't make a right too.

Agreed.

Ihedinobi:
Efe, you wan use laff kill me, abi? If I didn't have experience, however immoral, you would accuse me of being idealistic and impractical. Now that I do, I'm not worthy to preach. LOL! Seriously you need to see how I'm laughing here.

Temptation is real and everybody faces it one way or another. Some fall and recover from their failure. Some fall and refuse to accept their failure and rather than recover let it claim their soul. Yet others do not fall at all. I fell, Efe. Bit I didn't stay down. I'm still in the fight and I don't plan on losing it. Now that's reality, not idealism

And I'm in the very best position. I know the taste of failure as many do. I know the insides of weakness and the allure to yield. But I also know the strength to say No. I'm right where I ought to be.

Besides, everybody knows, tasting it once does not make you tired of it So it's not like I've had my fun and wanna deny others.

Re: the bolded - yes, I can imagine.

Baby mama:

Now mad people ,Ndi ara don enter
Onye ara Ogbete
Una see the disadvantages of front page

Indeed.

Na to unfollow this thread remain.

It's been nice chatting with you lot though.