O MY GOSH!!, I did not ask you people to start trouble ooo, before i left home this page was on the first page now its on page 7, lol, Naija girls why u dey vex, Abeg no vex,

chiogo:

Shit! I don't usually post in this romance section, I thot this topic was under 'family'. I'm going to reply anywayz.

Wait!, I'm yet to understand what y'all mean by 'submitting' to your husband. Can somebody give me examples of how a woman can 'submit' to her husband? Maybe, I can actually reply this topic Cuz right now, am seeing loads of BS.

here is an example:
you are home and ur husband isnt home and someone called that they wanna come over, you ought to call your husband to make sure it is aiight first and you just dont go ahead and make such decision, cos he is the head of the house.
You dont go around and just doing anything you feel like cos you can afford it, cos all decision ought to come via him.
please dont misunderstand me oh, if his reasonsing is not that good, like if he is such that dont even know how to take care of money, u cld help him out and still not that you will rub it to his face, but to complete him

Ruby_Pearl:

@baxilexi
ttyl.

and HCH,
control yourself, man.


^{not waiting around for his reply}

If you like wait if you like no wait, i don talk wetin i go talk.

Intimidation pure and simple!

A girl living[i] “in abroad”[/i] probably has her own car, lives her own place and has a job. Men don’t want that, they want a girl who will come and ask them for money for Sanitary Towel, so they can tell her she should buy tissues instead, since Sanitary towel is a luxury and not a necessity. I’m not saying these girls are suegbes, it’s because they don’t have a choice. They can’t work because they have no papers, they can’t drive because they have no papers, they can’t travel because they have no papers. I’ve seen it so many times, women brought to America by their hubbies…for the first year or two (even longer) these women are completely dependent on their husbands for everything. They get weekly allowances and if they happen to run out before the end of the week, too bad!

But truth remains that some of those who come over from naija may still come and make friends with those born here and at the end of the day become worse. An Igbo adage says that a a sheep that does not eat yam will learn to uproot the seed when it becomes buddies with yam eaters

One woman I know cried like a baby when she found out her husband used to buy her clothe from thrift stores. When she was in Nigeria, she was a tailor. . . an up and coming designer, she came to America and started wearing thrift store clothes. She saved enough money and got herself a sawing machine. . . one of those you’ll find in a Home Economic class. She started sawing and pretty soon, she had her own income. . . went from doing nasty, ratty looking hair to doing really good hair. She, as the Yoruba say, [i]tu ran se [/i]and you can guess what happened, suddenly her husband started to complain that she has become Americanized. Seriously, looking clean, well-dressed and presentable is now Americanized? Her business really took off and the issue of getting a place where she can have a showroom came up and this guy said NO. She begged and begged, brought elders to the house to house to help her talk to her husband and the idiot said, she can do anything she wants as long as she's ready to move out of the house. He accused her "changing" from the girl he married and just basically rubbished her dreams, she didn't get her showroom and just stopped sawing all together. She works as a Teacher's Aid at a daycare center, she is way more intelligent than the teacher she's aiding but the beauty or best part of this is. . . She HATES him with every fiber of her being. She can't stand him, when he travels, she jokes about being free from bondage for however long he is away.

Lovely Marriage, huh? I guess you guys don't care that if she could get away with it, you wife would murder you while you slept because that's how much she hates you, as long as she cooks your food and wash your clothes.

You don't understand what is meant by preference. If it's the guy's choice to marry from home, he is not wrong for choosing to do so.

If it’s their preference to go to Nigeria to get married, then it is their preference! How then it is “Abroad living girls” fault?

Sisikill:

Intimidation pure and simple!

It is not as simple as that

If it’s their preference to go to Nigeria to get married, then it is their preference! How then it is “Abroad living girls” fault?

Why you take style dey ask me ? If the girl living overseas does not display the familial chracteristics he finds appealing to him, he can look elsewhere.

Sisikill:

Intimidation pure and simple!

A girl living[i] “in abroad”[/i] probably has her own car, lives her own place and has a job. Men don’t want that, they want a girl who will come and ask them for money for Sanitary Towel, so they can tell her she should buy tissues instead, since Sanitary towel is a luxury and not a necessity. I’m not saying these girls are suegbes, it’s because they don’t have a choice. They can’t work because they have no papers, they can’t drive because they have no papers, they can’t travel because they have no papers. I’ve seen it so many times, women brought to America by their hubbies…for the first year or two (even longer) these women are completely dependent on their husbands for everything. They get weekly allowances and if they happen to run out before the end of the week, too bad!


One woman I know cried like a baby when she found out her husband used to buy her clothe from thrift stores. When she was in Nigeria, she was a tailor. . . an up and coming designer, she came to America and started wearing thrift store clothes. She saved enough money and got herself a sawing machine. . . one of those you’ll find in a Home Economic class. She started sawing and pretty soon, she had her own income. . . went from doing nasty, ratty looking hair to doing really good hair. She, as the Yoruba say, [i]tu ran se [/i]and you can guess what happened, suddenly her husband started to complain that she has become Americanized. Seriously, looking clean, well-dressed and presentable is now Americanized? Her business really took off and the issue of getting a place where she can have a showroom came up and this guy said NO. She begged and begged, brought elders to the house to house to help her talk to her husband and the idiot said, she can do anything she wants as long as she's ready to move out of the house. He accused her "changing" from the girl he married and just basically rubbished her dreams, she didn't get her showroom and just stopped sawing all together. She walks as a Teacher's Aid at a daycare center, she is way more intelligent than the teacher she's aiding but the beauty or best part of this is. . . She HATES him with every fiber of her being. She can't stand him, when he travels, she jokes about being free from bondage for however long he is away.

Lovely Marriage, huh? I guess you guys don't care that if she could get away with it, you wife would murder you while you slept because that's how much she hates you, as long as she cooks your food and wash your clothes.


If it’s their preference to go to Nigeria to get married, then it is their preference! How then it is “Abroad living girls” fault?

It is a weak man that will not want a lady that already has it all, a lady that could take care of herself, please, we are not more in the 1920s, a lady that has it all will make life so easy for the man, cos that means when they both combine what they have, they are big man and woman be that, however, the lady cant let all she has get into her head, cos no matter what, they are just propty.

@onyin, oops my bad guess i didnt read that part. _{(believe it or not i aint grining this wide)}

$$Rhino:

here is an example:
you are home and your husband isnt home and someone called that they want to come over, you ought to call your husband to make sure it is aiight first and you just don't go ahead and make such decision, because he is the head of the house.
You don't go around and just doing anything you feel like because you can afford it, because all decision ought to come via him.
please don't misunderstand me oh, if his reasonsing is not that good, like if he is such that don't even know how to take care of money, u cld help him out and still not that you will rub it to his face, but to complete him

A woman is supposed to be a help mate to her husband not a slave. So she has the right to advise and the man should consider her advice in whatever he does.  

Submission is knowing where to draw a line between your insisting on something being done somehow and your being stubborn. There are exceptions though . .eg. if your hubby turns an addict, you have to insist he quits the habit, the way you go about insisting  is another kettle of fish and that makes all the difference.

my God,I leave to attend to my job and there are 44 replies?

mao!

@topic
its only freshies that have this idea. Naija guys who have lived abroad for a long time don't have this view. well at least the ones i've met.


[/color]
hey [color=#000099]blue sky or wetyn which one have u seen my dear ooo? which naija ones have u seem and who told u the poster is a fresher, abeg, take am easy ooo,

agaba123:

A woman is supposed to be a help mate to her husband not a slave. So she has the right to advise and the man should consider her advice in whatever he does.  

Submission is knowing where to draw a line between your insisting on something being done somehow and your being stubborn. There are exceptions though . .eg. if your hubby turns an addict, you have to insist he quits the habit, the way you go about insisting  is another kettle of fish and that makes all the difference.

No one says the woman cant advice, as a matter of fact, that what the wife is there for, ought to advice the man as to what is best and the husband and the wife based on the advice will make a decision, marriage shdnt be slavery camp, no one tells the man to tell the wife to shut up when men are talking, it makes me sick to see husband and wife going out with the firend of the and the friend sit at front with the husband while the wife sit at back, the wife ought to submit to husband and not any other man

agaba123:

A woman is supposed to be a help mate to her husband not a slave. So she has the right to advise and the man should consider her advice in whatever he does.  

Submission is knowing where to draw a line between your insisting on something being done somehow and your being stubborn. There are exceptions though . .eg. if your hubby turns an addict, you have to insist he quits the habit, the way you go about insisting  is another kettle of fish and that makes all the difference.

$$Rhino:

It is a weak man that will not want a lady that already has it all, a lady that could take care of herself, please, we are not more in the 1920s, a lady that has it all will make life so easy for the man, because that means when they both combine what they have, they are big man and woman be that, however, the lady can't let all she has get into her head, because no matter what, they are just propty.

At least I have good men talking in the house nouse

@ Sisi

Its not even a one way traffic. I have seen threads on NL opened by FEMALES stating thier preference for a Naija guy that actually lives in Nigeria.   Its a preference and U cant argue with that.

Sisikill:

Intimidation pure and simple!

A girl living[i] “in abroad”[/i] probably has her own car, lives her own place and has a job. Men don’t want that, they want a girl who will come and ask them for money for Sanitary Towel, so they can tell her she should buy tissues instead, since Sanitary towel is a luxury and not a necessity. I’m not saying these girls are suegbes, it’s because they don’t have a choice. They can’t work because they have no papers, they can’t drive because they have no papers, they can’t travel because they have no papers. I’ve seen it so many times, women brought to America by their hubbies…for the first year or two (even longer) these women are completely dependent on their husbands for everything. They get weekly allowances and if they happen to run out before the end of the week, too bad!


One woman I know cried like a baby when she found out her husband used to buy her clothe from thrift stores. When she was in Nigeria, she was a tailor. . . an up and coming designer, she came to America and started wearing thrift store clothes. She saved enough money and got herself a sawing machine. . . one of those you’ll find in a Home Economic class. She started sawing and pretty soon, she had her own income. . . went from doing nasty, ratty looking hair to doing really good hair. She, as the Yoruba say, [i]tu ran se [/i]and you can guess what happened, suddenly her husband started to complain that she has become Americanized. Seriously, looking clean, well-dressed and presentable is now Americanized? Her business really took off and the issue of getting a place where she can have a showroom came up and this guy said NO. She begged and begged, brought elders to the house to house to help her talk to her husband and the idiot said, she can do anything she wants as long as she's ready to move out of the house. He accused her "changing" from the girl he married and just basically rubbished her dreams, she didn't get her showroom and just stopped sawing all together. She works as a Teacher's Aid at a daycare center, she is way more intelligent than the teacher she's aiding but the beauty or best part of this is. . . She HATES him with every fiber of her being. She can't stand him, when he travels, she jokes about being free from bondage for however long he is away.

Lovely Marriage, huh? I guess you guys don't care that if she could get away with it, you wife would murder you while you slept because that's how much she hates you, as long as she cooks your food and wash your clothes.


If it’s their preference to go to Nigeria to get married, then it is their preference! How then it is “Abroad living girls” fault?

That is what scares me so much about becoming an submissive wife. Because i know and yal know that im not the kind of girl who likes to be told what to do. And i admit that i am quick at the mouth and i can do some mean things. And dont want to be put in a position in which like the lady in the post who has a good idea but is turned down by her husband. Because im sad to say that im that kind of chic who will never let it go.

A girl living[i] “in abroad”[/i] probably has her own car, lives her own place and has a job. Men don’t want that, they want a girl who will come and ask them for money for Sanitary Towel, so they can tell her she should buy tissues instead, since Sanitary towel is a luxury and not a necessity.

Ah ahn! What sort of men are you dating.  That sweeping generalization is so not true.  I love a woman who can work to support the family.  I find it sexy!

I’m not saying these girls are suegbes, it’s because they don’t have a choice. They can’t work because they have no papers, they can’t drive because they have no papers, they can’t travel because they have no papers. I’ve seen it so many times, women brought to America by their hubbies…for the first year or two (even longer) these women are completely dependent on their husbands for everything. They get weekly allowances and if they happen to run out before the end of the week, too bad!

in this situation you are speaking of women who have no way of making ends meet.  we are including all genre of Naija women here.  Money does not give a woman the right to tower over her man.

One woman I know cried like a baby when she found out her husband used to buy her clothe from thrift stores. When she was in Nigeria, she was a tailor. . . an up and coming designer, she came to America and started wearing thrift store clothes. She saved enough money and got herself a sawing machine. . . one of those you’ll find in a Home Economic class. She started sawing and pretty soon, she had her own income. . . went from doing nasty, ratty looking hair to doing really good hair. She, as the Yoruba say, [i]tu ran se [/i]and you can guess what happened, suddenly her husband started to complain that she has become Americanized. Seriously, looking clean, well-dressed and presentable is now Americanized? Her business really took off and the issue of getting a place where she can have a showroom came up and this guy said NO. She begged and begged, brought elders to the house to house to help her talk to her husband and the idiot said, she can do anything she wants as long as she's ready to move out of the house. He accused her "changing" from the girl he married and just basically rubbished her dreams, she didn't get her showroom and just stopped sawing all together. She walks as a Teacher's Aid at a daycare center, she is way more intelligent than the teacher she's aiding but the beauty or best part of this is. . . She HATES him with every fiber of her being. She can't stand him, when he travels, she jokes about being free from bondage for however long he is away.

Those two are simply incompatible.  The guy is an inconsiderate dolt.

@sisiikill, a working woman is an asset and not a liability, where men really have a problem is when the pay gets into her head. and worse wjen he can supply all her needs

@Queenisha,
NA so i see am to ooo, people dey vex on this issue oooo take am easy ooo, lol

If you cant find a nigerian girl then marry a non-nigerian girl living abroad. simple.

onyinye2:

That is what scares me so much about becoming an submissive wife. Because i know and yal know that im not the kind of girl who likes to be told what to do. And i admit that i am quick at the mouth and i can do some mean things. And don't want to be put in a position in which like the lady in the post who has a good idea but is turned down by her husband. Because im sad to say that im that kind of chic who will never let it go.

trust me, u will hate a man that let u do all u feel like doing, say u go out and come home whenever u want and he has already make his own food and already im bed and following morning, pretends like nothing happened, how would u feel? can u handle that?

@poster, the answer to the question is very very simple.


over 70% of nigerian girls abroad are prostitutes and the boys know that.

HCH3COO:

Money does not give a woman the right to tower over her man.

No woman in her right sense and loves her hubby or boyfriend will use that as a tool to tower over a man but most men become easily intimidated on their own jeje even without any confrontation.

So all the men go to naija to marry cos they want poor chicks to suck up to them?

A simplistic analysis at best.

There are a multitude of reasons

some want women still in touch with Nigeria so they can pass these attributes on to their children

some want women they can boss around and dominate and claim 'I brought you to America/UK/Russia'

some want women from home because of family reasons, marry a girl we know her background and all the details completely.

There are so many other reasons to make a man prefer the 'local' variety to the foreign one. But its not all down to ego/money.

Yeah.  I would probably marry an akata girl before going through all that    Bigger ass for the buck.

Baxilexi:

@sisiikill, a working woman is an asset and not a liability, where men really have a problem is when the pay gets into her head. and worse wjen he can supply all her needs    

a working woman is an asset to her children because as far as I know, the man has a reponsibility of taking care of his wife and children even if the wife is a multimillionaire.

She can buy things for herself but that given to her by her husband is priceless

SAM MILLA:

@poster, the answer to the question is very very simple.


over 70% of nigerian girls abroad are prostitutes and the boys know that.

Look at this mu mu boy dey talk. Abeg go and sleep or do whatever that you do. ewu.

$$Rhino:

trust me, u will hate a man that let u do all u feel like doing, say u go out and come home whenever u want and he has already make his own food and already im bed and following morning, pretends like nothing happened, how would u feel? can u handle that?

Of course i don't want a guy who lets me do whatever,not like i'll do anything anyways, but i don't want to fall in that position.

SAM MILLA:

@poster, the answer to the question is very very simple.


over 70% of nigerian girls abroad are prostitutes and the boys know that.

I dont think that was a fair statement, how about saying 85% of our guys are yahooze boys or 419
my guys, we dont have to just talk for the sake of talking, get facts st8, 95% of ladies that i know are professionals

SAM MILLA:

@poster, the answer to the question is very very simple.


over 70% of nigerian girls abroad are prostitutes and the boys know that.

How?

debosky:

So all the men go to naija to marry because they want poor chicks to suck up to them?

A simplistic analysis at best.

There are a multitude of reasons

some want women still in touch with Nigeria so they can pass these attributes on to their children

some want women they can boss around and dominate and claim 'I brought you to America/UK/Russia'

some want women from home because of family reasons, marry a girl we know her background and all the details completely.

There are so many other reasons to make a man prefer the 'local' variety to the foreign one. But its not all down to ego/money.

Thank you   . It is not as simple as intimidation iranu kan kan at all.

@rhino, that would be simply callous. its best for him to complain than livin mr and mrs smith.

@debosky, its very nice of you to call  your home based chiks "poor", so the question now is chiks that go abroad are in the quest of getting rich or die trying right??

$$Rhino:

I don't think that was a fair statement, how about saying 85% of our guys are yahooze boys or 419
my guys, we don't have to just talk for the sake of talking, get facts st8, 95% of ladies that i know are professionals

Thank you

So what kinda man do u want then, u dont wanna sumbit and you dont wanna let alone to do whatever you want.
cos if you have a man like me, i cld let u do whatever you want till u content, but trust me, you will hate such with a passion.

Debosky nice one at that, thanx for ur comment,