ruthy28: No offence OP but I think ur girl is more than gullible if she truly loves u she shld have given her mum ur name and asked her 2 pray abt u to see if ur d right guy 4 her not a list of names, dat is if she had 2 give name at all. Like u I like doin ma prayers myself cause u never knw who's who what ur gf mom is doin nw destroyed a friend of mines relationship n she's regretin it till today. My 2 cents is forget abt her cause if she really loves u she could have told her mum she's in a serious relationship dat has d potential of leadin 2 marriage not makin a dam list. Ur babe Bleep up sha no offence

Offence not taken at all, she really messed up.

kar bridals: It seems ur girl nd the malaysian guy are both igbos nd u are not?if that is the case then there might be more to the prayer thing cos igbos don't like to marry guys from other tribes and if really about what the pastor said,how many pastors here in nigeria are real?I think u should bring ur girl to this site,4get about what u have said or what others have said that might hurt here nd make her feel bad when she reads them,she needs to know the bitter truth.the guy in malaysia,what does he do?has she tried to find out cos we know what some of the guys over there(I repeat,some of the guys)?when it starts her parents wldnt be there to carry the cross with her.we did family prayer early this year nd I was told my ex is my husband nd that he wll come back to me nd we will get married 24 of septemer nd now is december 22 nd sinnce then I don't listen to what any pastor has to tell me.I do my mid night nd God talks to me through my dreams.

Yeah she is viewing this thread as i type this. They are both igbos from the same state, am not igbo. You see that's the way it should be, God has given us the ability to pray and hear from him so why do we need to run from pastor to pastor. If God speaks to the pastor, he should be able to speak to you as well.

Wish there iz a PART TWO of this story seriouly it is heart touching

I didn't see this before posting.u are both 24,I feel/her parents might feel u are too young to get married being that u are still in school nd again u said u are edo nd they are both igbos so there is less u can do to change things.how possible do u think it will be to finish next year nd get married same year?wldnt u work for some time atleast to save money for ur wedding nd all?what abt ur parents,wldnt they be mad at u that they sent u to school nd all u could think abt abt graduation is marraige?unless the girl is willing to wait some years for u to stand(which her parents might nt allow)

pickle_juice:


Thanks bro. We are both the same age(24) and will be graduating at the same time next year. And you are right we are from different tribes. i am from edo and she is an igbo girl( a very fine one).lol. And yeah malaysian boy who has said that he did drugs in the past( like they all do in malaysia), however i believe he still does drugs.


The question i ask myself is how do you leave a prospective engineer that you have been with 3 years for a drug dealer that randomly added you on facebook all in the name of match making prayers? how?

kar bridals: I didn't see this before posting.u are both 24,I feel/her parents might feel u are too young to get married being that u are still in school nd again u said u are edo nd they are both igbos so there is less u can do to change things.how possible do u think it will be to finish next year nd get married same year?wldnt u work for some time atleast to save money for ur wedding nd all?what abt ur parents,wldnt they be mad at u that they sent u to school nd all u could think abt abt graduation is marraige?unless the girl is willing to wait some years for u to stand(which her parents might nt allow)

Money is not the issue at all. I can get married with 3 months salary once i'm done with skool, i am going to be an electrical engineer and she will be a nurse. So money is not an issue. We are in a country that once u graduate you will get multiple job offers without even trying. And yes i can finish skool and get married next year. Her biggest fear when it comes to family opinion, is how to overcome her dad refusing his daughter marrying a non igbo. My parents are not fussy at all. I am a man and I can marry whenever i want to. My dad married at age 27 and there marriage turned out to be awesome. so if i marry at 25, its not dat bad.

Ok good she is?girl,don't listen to what any pastor is saying cos most of them are after what the will get from u nd they want to have acces to ur family/goodies for life.one of the churches I went to,the guy doing miracle calling people up nd telling them abt their family history nd at the end I went to meet the pastor only for him to start asking me out later nd promised to show me the secret of his wealth(that's how he said it)so if its abt what the pastor said,I wll advice u 4get it nd do ur own prayers,believe me God will talk to u.abt ur guy,he might not be very ready to settle down next year unless he is from a wealthy home so it might take him more years it left for u to decide if u can wait or not nd pls don't marry for the wrong reason,make sure u are happy wetin u nd not to place anyone.

pickle_juice:

Yeah she is viewing this thread as i type this. They are both igbos from the same state, am not igbo. You see that's the way it should be, God has given us the ability to pray and hear from him so why do we need to run from pastor to pastor. If God speaks to the pastor, he should be able to speak to you as well.

Hello, there's something I want to let you know and its all about the philosophy of life, it depends on your fate anyway. I'm a free thinker, what would go WRONG will go WRONG no matter your efforts. It is easy to get lost in reminisces of the past. It is easy to remember all the good while subconsciously editing out all the not-so-good. And once you get caught up in the fond memories of days gone by, you begin to live in the past and to remove yourself from the present in a way. While there is some benefit to enjoying happy memories and in remembering the lessons you learned from past experiences, the past is not a place where you should live. You need to make more effort in the days ahead at living in the present moment and experiencing it fully. Its gonna be a painfull thing but what belongs to you will surely comes to you. A journey of a thousand year begins with a step, please keep your head straight. Aint here to blame anyone so take care

onastesho: Hello, there's something I want to let you know and its all about the philosophy of life, it depends on your fate anyway. I'm a free thinker, what would go WRONG will go WRONG no matter your efforts. It is easy to get lost in reminisces of the past. It is easy to remember all the good while subconsciously editing out all the not-so-good. And once you get caught up in the fond memories of days gone by, you begin to live in the past and to remove yourself from the present in a way. While there is some benefit to enjoying happy memories and in remembering the lessons you learned from past experiences, the past is not a place where you should live. You need to make more effort in the days ahead at living in the present moment and experiencing it fully. Its gonna be a painfull thing but what belongs to you will surely comes to you. A journey of a thousand year begins with a step, please keep your head straight. Aint here to blame anyone so take care

Word. I appreciate your input. thanks man

If that is the case,fine then.talk to ur girl,she has the knife nd the yam anybody she gives eats.

pickle_juice:

Money is not the issue at all. I can get married with 3 months salary once i'm done with skool, i am going to be an electrical engineer and she will be a nurse. So money is not an issue. We are in a country that once u graduate you will get multiple job offers without even trying. And yes i can finish skool and get married next year. Her biggest fear when it comes to family opinion, is how to overcome her dad refusing his daughter marrying a non igbo. My parents are not fussy at all. I am a man and I can marry whenever i want to. My dad married at age 27 and there marriage turned out to be awesome. so if i marry at 25, its not dat bad.

pickle_juice:


Thanks bro. We are both the same age(24) and will be graduating at the same time next year. And you are right we are from different tribes. i am from edo and she is an igbo girl( a very fine one).lol. And yeah malaysian boy who has said that he did drugs in the past( like they all do in malaysia), however i believe he still does drugs.


The question i ask myself is how do you leave a prospective engineer that you have been with 3 years for a drug dealer that randomly added you on facebook all in the name of match making prayers? how?

Yes, the difference in ethnicity may actually be one of the factors for her behavior. However, I can guarantee you that it's not the major factor....your AGE and your student status are.

You are not only age mates, you are far too young for her to begin to see you as husband. There's a big difference between being a great boyfriend and a suitable husband. Unlike in normal BF/GF relationships where "Love" and sex are usually the only factors needed to keep it going....marriage requires much more than that. compatibility, age difference, maturity, financial and emotional security are factored in.

Yes, some parents and pastors have caused lots of damages in marriages but with the support of their wards. Your girl is in no way a victim of her parents influence.

Or, how do you explain her keeping, flirting and making new male friends from day one? How come she didn't tell her parents that she doesn't have any long list to summit to pastor except you?

Open your eyes bro, it's all her plans. she must have loved you as a great boyfriend but doesn't see any great thing about you as a future husband.

And as for her falling for a drug dealer? It's very normal with people of her age. All she needs do to go on with the marriage is to continuously lie to herself that the drug peddler will change after marriage.

Move on bro....and just like I said earlier; you will look back in 5 years time and ask yourself "what was I Thinking?"

pickle_juice:

I know... its so hard to let go cos there aren't many good girls like her that i've met. But i might be leaning towards moving on.

Eeeeya,but that's the best you can do for yourself.Take Nuzo's advice,he made a valid point.Good luck.

lynpetra: Eeeeya,but that's the best you can do for yourself.Take Nuzo's advice,he made a valid point.Good luck.

SECONDED

Am a guy like u, older but still one..
Don't act on emotions here.
Actions are reflections of a persons thot processes n character..
Everybody IS RESPONSIBLE f their choices, their actions..
'Nuff said

Am out..

Op, just pray about it. If she is your wife, she will definitely come back, if she is not....
what will be will be, there is nothing we can do about it.

permit me to ask? when did we start seeking permission from God to marry. . I am a christian too but I just want to ask, Cuz when I read the Bible people take wives .. not seeking any divine consultation and shit ..

this is just necromancy bullcrap :-Xpermit me to ask? when did we start seeking permission from God to marry. . I am a christian too but I just want to ask, Cuz when I read the Bible people take wives .. not seeking any divine consultation and shit ..

this is just necromancy bullcrap

[quote author=femooshad]permit me to ask? when did we start seeking permission from God to marry. . I am a christian too but I just want to ask, Cuz when I read the Bible people take wives .. not seeking any divine consultation and shit ..

this is just necromancy bullcrap

permit me to ask? when did we start seeking permission from God to marry. . I am a christian too but I just want to ask, Cuz when I read the Bible people take wives .. not seeking any divine consultation and shit ..

this is just necromancy bullcrap

ignis: Op, just prayer about it. of she is your wife, she will definitely come back, if she is not....
what will be will be, there is nothing we can do about it.

Most religious people and even atheist get me confused with this line of "Whatever will be will Be" "If she's yours, she will come Back".

Could you or anyone shed more light on this cos those are the most confusing statements I've ever heard in life.

Thanks.

femooshad: permit me to ask? when did we start seeking permission from God to marry. . I am a christian too but I just want to ask, Cuz when I read the Bible people take wives .. not seeking any divine consultation and shit ..

this is just necromancy bullcrap

There is nothing wrong in personally seeking God's face concerning marriage, especially people like me who want to get it right the first time.

@Pickle_juice, I am so sorry for what had happened to you. I think the family wants her to get married as soon as possible. Not belonging to the same tribe is a huge drawback. The family is really mindful of what will become their daughter's fate if she settles for you. Do not blame them. It's just a cultural misconception. This can happen to anybody. You're a great guy. Now what you have to do is to wish her well and wipe away your tears. Do not be so downhearted. Second, I believe you can get another chick probably better than her. There are so many single girls out there and they really want to get married as soon as possible too. You might be lucky to get an angel. A pretty chick with so many beautiful qualities. This particular disappointment might be a blessing in disguise for you in future.

.

dBard:

SECONDED

Am a guy like u,

lynpetra, what are you not telling us??

You can't force someone to marry you.

Leave her alone and let her please herself.

Why are you in the rush to marry. You are just 24. I know its not easy to let go but you just have to.

You can always begin again.

Its time to move and there's better girls out there waiting for you. Why are you crying? You tears won't solve the problem so wake up and face the reality.

pickle_juice: Thanks guys for ur reply. She is very much in love with me. She was getting so much pressure from family to get married. And like I said she is not very confident in making decisions so she was trying to please her family by showing that she is serious with getting married I think? And now she is in a big mess.

Guys please keep your opinions coming I really appreciate your comments. I might actually give her a link to this thread.

To the best of my knowledge, women has the problem of indecision.. if she's really in love with you, she wouldn't have had a list of other folks interested in her.. Which makes you an alternative.. how can she consider to make someone she has never met an option of Marriage.so what if it doesn't work out with the Malaysian dude, she'll either fall back to you or consider another applicant with a lotto (baba ijebu). after the whole display happening now and she finally settles with a man, another prayer warrior/family can still convince her to divorce and marry someone else.. ask her what she really wants, if she's considering other options, take a walk boss

Les: . lynpetra, what are you not telling us??

wat is dis one saying

I tink u shld change ur supplier, wateva u smoking is probably adulterated wit dog piss.

pickle_juice:


Thanks bro. We are both the same age(24) and will be graduating at the same time next year. And you are right we are from different tribes. i am from edo and she is an igbo girl( a very fine one).lol. And yeah malaysian boy who has said that he did drugs in the past( like they all do in malaysia), however i believe he still does drugs.


The question i ask myself is how do you leave a prospective engineer that you have been with 3 years for a drug dealer that randomly added you on facebook all in the name of match making prayers? how?

does she know he's on drugs?if yes and she wants to go ahead,then my guy just know that God himself is trying to protect you from a fake wife. Cos a peson won't see fire and enter it. Besides,trying to please her family shows that when you two get married and have a slight quarel and her family knows about it, she would take her family's advice which can harm you.
This might be God's way of helping you out of distruction. I know it's hard letting go but you've got to

pickle_juice:


Thanks bro. We are both the same age(24) and will be graduating at the same time next year. And you are right we are from different tribes. i am from edo and she is an igbo girl( a very fine one).lol. And yeah malaysian boy who has said that he did drugs in the past( like they all do in malaysia), however i believe he still does drugs.


The question i ask myself is how do you leave a prospective engineer that you have been with 3 years for a drug dealer that randomly added you on facebook all in the name of match making prayers? how?

does she know he's on drugs?if yes and she wants to go ahead,then my guy just know that God himself is trying to protect you from a fake wife. Cos a peson won't see fire and enter it. Besides,trying to please her family shows that when you two get married and have a slight quarel and her family knows about it, she would take her family's advice which can harm you.
This might be God's way of helping you out of distruction. I know it's hard letting go but you've got to

and why did she give her mom list of men that wants to marry her. If truly she found love in you.she would have told her mom that theirs no need for prayers
cant you see that everything was planned? Prayer ko juju ni

Since when did men off God become match makers...did the malaysian guy also compile his own list off gurls? Its so clear that dis malaysian guy has gone indepth with ur gf and ur gf must have given him greenlight in one way or the other for him to have taken her name to a man of God....if she wasn't showing interest he wouldn't hv taken her name 2 man off God and if ur gf wasn't interested in d malaysian guy she wouldn't have compiled his name in d list..ur gf in away must hv been interested in d guyz she put up in her list..
BE WISE: the bible said HE that findth a wife and not he whose pastor,brethren or frd finds a wife for..

Don't be suprise the girl made all dis ""pastor and match making tin" just to break up with you..girls can be dat deceptive...This situation was wat my previous relationship was leading to..thank God I ended it and moved on even after 2yrs of dating...@op its difficult I know, bt forget dat babe jare...goodluck

OP listen,
1. Your girlfriend is not gullible (Not Easy to convince)
2. She is acting out a script she wrote herself and her mum and the pastor are the main actors
3. She is not confused as you pointed out, she wants you to feel she is confused so that you think she ever loved you.
4. The malay boy has swag and is the spending type and she is carried away by that.
5. She has made up her mind to marry the other guy and there is nothing you can do about it.

Every relationship does not lead to marriage, nor be by force. Thank her for the lessons she has taught you and move on
You will be the Best thing she never had.
E dey pain ooo but time heals everything and I know you will be good.

Your girlfriend is the Writer, Producer, Her mum is the Editor and her mum and Pastor, are the main actors

She was even silly enough to tell you that the Malay guy also had his own list and she was chosen as the one
OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH wat a joke. Shame nor dey her face at all a

dBard:

wat is dis one saying

I tink u shld change ur supplier, wateva u smoking is probably adulterated wit dog piss. >

lord of mercy......

Matildachinyere: In d first place, why should she give her mom a list of names, wen u are d only one she's bin dating for 3yrs? If truly, the mom went for prayers she shouldn't have gone wit any name and God in heaven would av revealed d person dat she was meant to marry without d presence of options. Honestly it is all a lie, It's just her own method of dumping u for another guy *And i must say ur Babe is very gullible *.Let her go abeg *although It's not easy sha *

GBAM! OP your gal was double dating, or even triple dating. Its unfortunate that the OP falls into the class of guys that restrict themselves to just one gal when you should leave your options open to as many people as possible, as long as you're not engaged. As long as you guys weren't engaged, she's free to choose who she wants to eventually marry. But the betrayal of knowing that she opened herself to other options without your knowledge will be understandably upsetting.

Sorry bro, I go bash u small, u ready? Ok! Can't u guys do stuffs with ur five good senses without not attaching a religion? Well, since u believe in ur religion, it means u have to move on, what if d pastor had picked u, den the man would have been good MOG but now dat d table turned on u, u ar making noise.. Ur babe carry names go pastor place, dat alone na minus for me.. I don't understand hw u guys think, so disaapointed in u and for d fact dat u ar not living in nigeria and u still reason dis way, shame on u! Use ur senses always, don't let nobody push u around

De Tus: @Pickle_juice, I am so sorry for what had happened to you. I think the family wants her to get married as soon as possible. Not belonging to the same tribe is a huge drawback. The family is really mindful of what will become their daughter's fate if she settles for you. Do not blame them. It's just a cultural misconception. This can happen to anybody. You're a great guy. Now what you have to do is to wish her well and wipe away your tears. Do not be so downhearted. Second, I believe you can get another chick probably better than her. There are so many single girls out there and they really want to get married as soon as possible too. You might be lucky to get an angel. A pretty chick with so many beautiful qualities. This particular disappointment might be a blessing in disguise for you in future.

Thanks man i appreciate your comment