Abali1: Did you all notice that this thread is the only topic the Op has ever created on NL.
Am sure she is very disturbed about the situation and hoping that at least some people will back her in her quest to marry lover boy.
"Love is truely blind, but marriage is the eye opener."

koolg:

oga you are wrong.
there is the possibility that out of 8 children, all 8 children are SS, just that the chance of that is small

Abali1:
And that makes me wrong? You can learn or you can choose to dwell in your ignorance. It's your choice.

Abali1:
And that makes me wrong? You can learn or you can choose to dwell in your ignorance. It's your choice.

Baby mama:

Even that loving man she is now seeing will easily abandon her and that sick child in the hospital and find another wife to give him healthy babies and heirs
No be man we dey talk?
Let her continue shouting love love
The burden of that sickler child will rest on her ,the mother 80%
Eye go clear am

ukchy:
True talk dear cos my Aunty is a living witness. The husband was such a loving man.When their three kids turn out to be Sicklers,the man changed automatically. If you see my aunty now,she is in her late 30's but she looks older than my mum who is in her late 50's.Eventually the man abandon them and flee only for us to hear that he married another woman who is AA.It hurt me everyday seeing my cousins during their crisis period.My advice is dat human beings can change at anytime.Love is not enough for this kind of situation.Think with your head and not your heart cos that was one big mistake my aunty made and she is regretting every bit of it now.Don't suffer your unborn children when you have opportunity to love again and have healthy children.A word is enough for the wise

n.oxide:
As far as this thread has gone, I believe Ms. Op knows what to do

babestell: OP you know what you should do. Better do it, I do not believe in testing God, seek his face and ask his guidance, because a certain person claims his genotype changed doesn't mean yours will change.

Abali1:
The bolded is the key word in this whole thread. I cannot understand why in this day and time, someone will take a Life Altering decision based on hear-say.
God is still in the business of doing miracles, but I will never support anyone who purposely decides to tempt God.
If the Op didn't know already, I will excuse her ignorance. But knowingly going into a marital union with both being AS/AS is a No-No. Nobody is even talking about the financial implication of catering for a SS baby. The money my family has spent on managing my health is enough to train about 4 persons from Kindergarten up to University level.
As an adult who now earns his own money, I know how much I spend on medication. And still my family accuses me of not doing enough for myself. No two days passes without me taking one form of medication or another.
But someone who obviously has not been close to a Warrior will come to me and talk about Faith. Do you even know what it means to "pass through the valley of the shadow of death" (literally)? Yet you talk to me about Faith.
In the suicide thread, here on NL a fellow Warrior is constantly batteling with depression leading to suicidal thoughts cos his Father has abandoned their mother to her woes.
NB
Op, I am not your God........ but you can go ahead and Tempt the Lord your God.

Efemena_xy: ^^ I think your friend would most probably have her baby via CS.

There's no way the doctors will let her have a 'normal' delivery. It's just way too risky.

Would be good if you could keep us updated on how it goes with your friend...

Efemena_xy:

Abali,

If you don't mind my asking, how often do you have these crises and what triggers them? Does stress contribute to it?


Teachers were wary of her and excluded her from tasks, from punishments, you name it. Yes she was a good girl but felt it unfair that she couldn't experience a little of what we all went through when naughty. I remember clearly, she broke the norm of being her usual quite self, made a lot of noise in class and made sure her name was on that list for noise makers. Even the prefect was reluctant to put her name down. When the teacher came in to round us up for punishment (yes, yes, I follow them make noise too ), he didn't want to flog her but she insisted. You need to have heard the sharp intake of breadth from EVERYONE.

Just to humour her, he tapped her hands lightly with a pencil and the whole class breathed a sigh of relief. Mind you, we were in JSS 1 then. Still very young, but old enough to understand the implications of what could have happened if the teacher her flogged her like the rest of us. Anyway, the bigger question here is this - why did she go this far? Simple. She just wanted to belong. To feel 'among'.

So @OP really does need to ask herself if this is another thing she's willing to put her kids through. It's heart wrenching enough for an individual to feel 'left' out, much less a child.

I also have an aunt who had seven kids, one of which was an SS child. No need going into details the pain the whole family felt when this child died just after gaining admission into Uni.

A word they say, is enough for the wise.

damiso: The closest thing I have to an older brother is my uncle(the last child of my maternal grandmother) my parents raised him and he lived with us till he was able to stand on his own.When my dad died his name was on the obituary cos he and my dad were soo close.He is SC.You don't even wanna know. He is 43 now, has a child and is doing quite well ( as has been said they are often very brainy, he is a fellow of CIIN, has two masters degrees etc).BUT as most people have said, you don't wanna how we all hold our breath if he as much as has a cold or headache.

He came to the UK last winter stayed with us and I practically turned to nanny nurse cos I was soooo concerned about him not falling ill even more so than my lil children.He had to tell me off cos I was really scared. Uncle are you ok, Is your room warm enough bla bla cos I just wanted him to be ok.As Abali said you learn to manage your health with age but believe me its not easy.

I am AS and as unromantic as it sounds, It was one of the first things I found out about my husband.Because we have a 'warrior' in my family, its one of the first things people in my family ask when you get serious with someone.

Pls OP, abeg you have heard enough but pls pls think of your unborn children.I have nursed a person in crisis so I know what I am talking about.

Abali1:
Aunty Efe,
I usually do have crisis not more than three times a year. Reason, I have come to understand myself so well that I can sense a crisis coming days before it occurs. Once I sense it, I start admnistering the necessary medications to either hold it off or minimize the effect.
I once opened a thread "Factors that trigger of Sickle Cell Crisis". Yes, stress is one of the factors that trigger of crisis. Others are, dehyderation, Malaria attack, infection (maybe from open wound) food poisening etc.
.
.
On the second bolded, I attended a boarding school and I will tell you that I made so much effort not to allow anyone see my Doctors Report. Why? I never want to be shielded. Infact in my JSS 1, only about 2 or 3 people suspected I had health problems. I joined my mates in doing manual labour like cutting the grass, carrying buckets of gravel to the building site, fetching water etc. Flogging? I recieved enough of that while in the secondary school.
Yeah, Warriors may have health challenges but we also want to be treated like the rest of the human race. If you go through my threads, you will see that I have done some 'bad boys' things that you will never associate with a Warrior. But with the benefit of hindsight, it was just the Grace of God that I am still alive.

Efemena_xy:



Now I really, really, have to ask this: how do you contend with heart break resulting from girls initally promising to go all the way with you, but then develop cold feet because they feel it's something they can't handle? I'm referring to girls with AA genotype.

I'll understand if you don't want to talk about it, but I'm hoping you will.

chiebube: I believe in faith. Why dont u ask God to change your genotype before u get married. Thats better for you. Dont allow ur kids to suffer for your 'faith'. That will be very painful you know. You will not be happy and fulfilled in marriage if you have to go through that. Marriage is NOT just 'I LOVE you'. What if you have kids with SS? That can drown your faith yo know. U may live like a defeated Xtian.

Just my thought. Please pardon me

Efemena_xy:

Having said that, you did pique my interest when you mentioned tribe as a criteria for getting married. I don't know how to ask this without sounding coarse but I'll try my best...

Will you say, that in choosing a partner for life, you've had to compromise on your criteria / check list of what your intended wife should have or meet? I mean, apart from her needing to be an of AA genotype, would you say you've had to forgo other aspects which normally, you wouldn't have if you weren't a Warrior?



But you're the most open person / warrior I've come across so I'm hoping you'll indulge me and not take offence at my inquisitiveness...