bukatyne:

Jide sorry Ewuro, which one be tradutional benefits/ shoe shiner again?

PureOhio:
Traditional benefits:
He pays the bride price.
He foots majority of the wedding bill
He pays majority of the bills (school fees, rent/mortgage, miscellaneous )
He gives his wife monthly allowance
When she gets violent, he can't do anything (she's only a woman, she's allowed to be emotional)
Etc

Most Nigerian feminists want these benefits (because it's the cultural and it's biblical). Like Ewuro said, eating your cake and having it.

Btw, if these are the benefits and things expected from a married man, in what area is equality needed ?

PureOhio:
Traditional benefits:
He pays the bride price.
He foots majority of the wedding bill
He pays majority of the bills (school fees, rent/mortgage, miscellaneous )
He gives his wife monthly allowance
When she gets violent, he can't do anything (she's only a woman, she's allowed to be emotional)
Etc

Most Nigerian feminists want these benefits (because it's the cultural and it's biblical). Like Ewuro said, eating your cake and having it.

Btw, if these are the benefits and things expected from a married man, in what area is equality needed ?

"They (wives) are garments for you, while you are garments for them."
[Qur’an 2:187]

Having sought his bride in an honourable way, and married her in the manner prescribed by the Prophet- that is with public celebration but the minimum of fuss and ostentation- what are the Muslim husband’s duties?

His first duty is maintenance and protection, and overall responsibility for the welfare of his wife, which is prescribed in the Qur’an:

"Men shall take full care of women with the bounties which Allah has bestowed more abundantly on the former than on the latter, and with what they may spend out of their
possessions....". [Qur’an 4:34]

This includes feeding, clothing and shelter for the wife and for any children of the marriage. This is a legally enforceable duty, which remains even after divorce until the expiry of the Iddah or even longer in the view of some of the scholars. Financial responsibility for the family therefore rests squarely on the husband, and the wife has no duty to contribute to family expenses unless she has the means and the wish to do so.

dinachi: I know that feminism is the greatest cause of divorces in Nigeria at the moment. One of the most recent being the marriage of Commediene Princess which just hit the rocks. Well a little digging has confirmed that none of the world renowned feminists have a great marriage. Most end up as Lesbians or Never married women or multiple divorces. What is wrong with feminism? THERE IS NO SUCCESSFULLY MARRIED FEMINIST OUT THERE. IT IS A CHOICE LADIES. IT IS EITHER YOU ARE MARRIED OR YOU ARE A FEMINIST. THE BALL IS IN YOUR COURT.

dinachi:
That is neither here no there. Chinamanda Adichie's speech on feminism makes a lot of sense. The world is changing but the truth remains that certain things should be left the way they are for balance. Men and women need to imbibe the change to move forward that is where core feminists miss it. You can't demand equality but give nothing in return. A man will gladly accept feminists ideology if the wife shares equal responsibility in all things. You can't demand equality only when ,you want his help in washing dishes, taking care of children, cooking and cleaning the house but decline when it comes to paying bills! That is double standards. And then you should be able to rise to the challenge when the man is financially down without any complaints. That is the only brand of feminism that makes sense to me. Men for centuries have been taking care of their families without complaints but a situation where a woman does that for a short period and complains proves she is not a true feminist.

And those who think, I don't love women are wrong. I cherish the female folk but I hate nonsense!

ypepe:
Topic.
Biolabee- sitting on d fence.
Coogar-claiming male chauvanist.
Sagamite- woman hater
Dinachi-running away from his past
Dante.....- looking for opportunity to dice
Women
TV- traditionalist to d core

All of u guys hv one thing in common.
U were dissapointed by women in ur lives either as a child or an adult.
U all need psychological evaluation.
Word r powerful. It bares our heart without our permission.
Stop fighting women. Go and fight d demons tormenting u guys. (Oya, d bullets should start coming. By d time I log in again, I expect this to reach page 20. Happy bulleting )

bukatyne: Are you not defeating your own arguement?

PureOhio:
Traditional benefits:
He pays the bride price.
He foots majority of the wedding bill
He pays majority of the bills (school fees, rent/mortgage, miscellaneous )
He gives his wife monthly allowance
When she gets violent, he can't do anything (she's only a woman, she's allowed to be emotional)
Etc

Most Nigerian feminists want these benefits (because it's the cultural and it's biblical). Like Ewuro said, eating your cake and having it.

Btw, if these are the benefits and things expected from a married man, in what area is equality needed ?

Ewuro707:

Wa shere jare. Thanks


Bukky,
Traditional benefit is tantamount to everything the holy books ordained i.e Responsibilities of the head of the household -Man.

Core/ Real feminist find TB degrading likewise frown at big time. Rarely you see these group of extremist wallow in cultural doctrines. Their perception of traditional marriage is backwardness /archaic / sheep / slavery etc

These group of women don't wanna be identified by their spouse - Mrs( if they have any). They want to be on their own.

These group of women make jest and can't conceal how irritant they feel when we ( married Naija wives) nurture our hubby, they call us mumu and slaves.

They see an act of sex/ making love degrading. So yes Men are just sperm donors and they'd rather have a donor if they chose to have kids.

And that Bukky my friend is where you fall off the bracket too. So make a choice, are you truly a Christian ( without your Nigerian bible interpretation brouhaha) or a real Feminist or just wannabe?







1 Timothy 5:8 - But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.


1 Peter 3:7 ESV / 118

Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered

And so on.


P.S
Bukky I'm NOT a feminist, I don't see myself as one because I Loooove the sheep mentality of Yoruba Culture ( kneeling for my hubby, cooking for him etc)
I just happen to share same attribute as the movement/ Act ( and I'm sure many married & successful career women posses this too) : having strong ambition, and raised to believe whatever a man can do , a woman can execute even polished and vibrantly . If that make me a feminist then hurray!

bukatyne: Is this a general observation? If this is the traditional benefits then i laugh in spanish

Yorubas return the bride price
Yoruba brides cater for the guests

bukatyne:
You must be watching hollywood to think that most nigerian men usually do nothing when their wives get violent. It is actually new school.

bukatyne: Sorry,
I have such a short memory to engage you in this discussion

Most of us don't really read our Bibles anyways and the few that do, water it down with culture

Nowhere in the Bible was specific roles given to any gender in marriage
A man's headship has nothing to do with his providing; if he is the bread winner or tea winner, he is still the head

We'll have to see what your father says."

It's a great line for all mothers, one I rely on quite a lot when I don't want to commit to something before asking husband's opinion, when I want to pass the buck and have husband make the decision instead of me, or when I want a get-out-of-jail-free card to not ever give an answer, hedging my bets my children will just forget about it before husband comes through the door at day's end.

Lately, though, my six-year-old has been questioning the statement. Why should we ask daddy. Can't I just make a decision on my own? I am the mommy, you know. A grown up who is no longer told what to do (in his eyes, anyway).

"Well, he's the boss," I say, struggling to put my anti-feminist convictions in a kindergartner's vocabulary. "The Bible says he's the head of our household."

Wyatt's face lights up. "Oh. Cool! I want to be the boss, too."

That look on my son's face makes it obvious he equates being the boss with stomping around with his plastic sword like an arrogant tyrant whom everyone obeys without question. For a split second, I catch a glimpse of my future daughter in law hating me. (Sigh.)

"Being a boss isn't all that fun," I begin, deepening my voice in an attempt to sound somber, serious." To be the head of his household, a man has to do certain things. The Bible says that a man must be willing to give his life for his family. That means daddy must be willing to die for you and me. He must provide for his family, which is why daddy works so hard. He also has the job of leading his family to know about God. That's why daddy takes us to church."

The face that has been listening so seriously to my soliloquy suddenly brightens again. "Oh! That's why daddy prays with us every night and not you!"

I smile. He and I go back and forth for a few minutes, discussing the role he will play one day as head of his own house.

Across the table, Emerson pipes up, "Me, too! I'll have a house." Yes. Two future heads of their families.

I tell them when there's a hard decision to make, if mommy and daddy don't know what to do, daddy ultimately has to make the decision.

"And what if he doesn't know the answer?" W asks.

"He asks God," Emerson responds matter-of-factly.

Through a too-large bite of spaghetti, W finally concludes, "Wow. Being a boss is hard work."

And with that, the conversation turns to how hot the spaghetti is, what's for dessert, and how much water we need to drink to get rid of any "bugs" in us.

I know well this is not the popular way to raise boys. Some might even say I'm turning back time and creating two little cavemen who think women are worthless. But nothing could be farther from the truth.

At four and six, my boys already know to open/hold the door for a lady (although they haven't learned not to knock said lady down in an attempt to get there first). They know to offer a lady help if she is carrying a heavy load. They are learning mommy needs help picking up the house, setting the table, and separating the lights and darks before helping me shove heaping loads into the washer and dryer.

Women are to be respected, loved, treated more delicately with kindness.

What many people don't understand is there is a difference between submitting to one's husband as the head of your family and being a wall flower.

I grew up in a family of strong women. I still live in a family of strong women. There are definitely no shrinking (or quiet) violets here. We study our Bibles and have lively, educated discussions about Scripture with our men. We actively pursue our individual ministries within our churches and within our communities. Many of us work both within and outside of the home.

When I was in high school, I clearly remember my father's family labeling my mother a feminist. At the time, she and I didn't think that was such a bad thing. Of course I was a feminist. I equated the term with women's basic human rights, equal treatment, and equal opportunities.

Honestly? When I consider how women are severely abused by their husbands in parts of Asia, the Middle East, and Africa, how many rights these non-American women don't have around the world, that's still the kind of feminism I want to be a part of.

Granted, ours was a family where women were expected to be educated, where women were encouraged to speak up and participate in the dialogue of a family, where gender roles were undefined when it came to things like washing clothes, cooking supper, or mowing the lawn. Yet, there was still the knowledge that the buck stopped with my daddy. He was the spiritual head of our home.

When my children were born, I sadly came to the realization that feminism had changed from what I once believed it to be.

Overnight, I found myself booted out of the feminist camp because I believed in a baby's right to life over a woman's right to her body, because I believed the Bible when it said my husband should be the head of our household as Christ is the head of the church.

Submissiveness is not on the feminist agenda, nor is it popular. But it is part of what the modern family needs. Families need women who not doormats but who are submissive to their husbands. Families also need men who love their wives so completely that they are willing to daily give their very lives for them.

ypepe: Jenny, nothing happened. Got tired of that handle a long time ago.

Topic.
Biolabee- sitting on d fence.
Coogar-claiming male chauvanist.
Sagamite- woman hater
Dinachi-running away from his past
Dante.....- looking for opportunity to dice
Women
TV- traditionalist to d core

All of u guys hv one thing in common.
U were dissapointed by women in ur lives either as a child or an adult.
U all need psychological evaluation.
Word r powerful. It bares our heart without our permission.
Stop fighting women. Go and fight d demons tormenting u guys.
(Oya, d bullets should start coming. By d time I log in again, I expect this to reach page 20. Happy bulleting )

ileobatojo:

The most hilarious thing is that each and everyone of these long winded anti-feminist clowns have defeated their own arguments at some point. That's why it's so tedious and pointless trying to reason with them. They simply can't get their own stories straight. And that's just evidence that they're grasping at straws and have no real point. It's all a mindless knee jerk reaction to the word "feminist". No need using the brain at all. Just bark, bark, bark like a mad dog whenever you see the word "feminist".

PureOhio:
Traditional benefits:
He pays the bride price.
He foots majority of the wedding bill
He pays majority of the bills (school fees, rent/mortgage, miscellaneous )
He gives his wife monthly allowance
When she gets violent, he can't do anything (she's only a woman, she's allowed to be emotional)
Etc

Most Nigerian feminists want these benefits (because it's the cultural and it's biblical). Like Ewuro said, eating your cake and having it.

Btw, if these are the benefits and things expected from a married man, in what area is equality needed ?

Dantedasz:
Why don't you address the meat of the OP, instead of generally acting like a coward and skirting the issues by attacking people.
1.Show us ONE prominent feminist that had/has a successful marriage.
OR
2.Show us ONE quote from a prominent feminist extolling the virtues/benefits of marriage.
This is a simple enough task and does not require eight ( pages of pussyfooting.
I rest my case, your honor, no more questions for this hostile witness.....

Dantedasz:

Why don't you address the meat of the OP, instead of generally acting like a coward and skirting the issues by attacking people.
1.Show us ONE prominent feminist that had/has a successful marriage.
OR
2.Show us ONE quote from a prominent feminist extolling the virtues/benefits of marriage.
This is a simple enough task and does not require eight ( pages of pussyfooting.
I rest my case, your honor, no more questions for this hostile witness.....

dinachi: I know that feminism is the greatest cause of divorces in Nigeria at the moment.

dinachi:
@ Ileobatojo or chillis or Chillisauce or Soul-glo whatever turned you into a misandrist, i hope one day after a visit to your shrink and proper medication you may be able to see the light, if not, happy trolling!

dinachi: I know that feminism is the greatest cause of divorces in Nigeria at the moment.

Dantedasz:

All those women are BUTCH DYKES.
The problem with wanna be feminists on these boards is that the do not even understand the aims and focus of a movement to which they hold dear.
Such paper weight internet fake feminists want to be dykes and still want to have some d1ck on the side. You want to be a feminist and still remain married? Fallacy of the century.
At best you ladies are rights activists and certainly NOT feminists.

Sisi_Kill: Dinachi and co....From your postings on this thread, it is safe to conclude you guys are anti-feminist, yes?

May I ask a huge favor....please go read up on Masculism and the Masculist Movement. I'd love to read your thoughts on it.

Sisi_Kill: Dinachi and co....From your postings on this thread, it is safe to conclude you guys are anti-feminist, yes?

May I ask a huge favor....please go read up on Masculism and the Masculist Movement. I'd love to read your thoughts on it.

ileobatojo:

This re*tarded question has been long asked and answered. Only someone who lacks common sense will believe that this daft question by the OP is a good one. Anyway, since you appear to have problems counting up to one, let's give it another shot. Perhaps practicing your counting has made you perfect. Meryl Streep. Married since 1978.

Now here's a list of prominent and divorced non feminists:
Katy Perry, Madonna, Demi Moore. Add to that list of divorced non feminists probably the majority of divorce in Nigeria both celebrity and non celebrity.

Which leads me back to my question to the OP (or any of you other clowns that wants to answer) that you swooped in to rescue him from answering.

Can you set off this "intellectual debate" by providing proof of your opening statement and the premise for your thread?

Dantedasz:

English...speak English.

bukatyne: Is this a general observation? If this is the traditional benefits then i laugh in spanish

Yorubas return the bride price

Yoruba brides cater for the guests

ileobatojo:

Rotfl!!

And these are the caliber of people the OP has backing him up? Bwahahaha!

Like I said, empty barrel…..

Next please!!!

Dantedasz:


Ileobatojo,
I thought you said I am the same person as the OP, a while ago? Suddenly I am one of his backers.LOL!
The gibberish you posted made no sense to me that is why I am requesting you put it in English.
The OPs request is simple enough but alas eight pages of cyberspace latter non of you paper weight fake feminists have been able to answer him properly.
Posters like sisi kill and bukatyne have even made an intellectual effort even if flawed to explain their points logically.
On the other hand you Ileobatojo have spent this thread as usual throwing insults like a coward and showing how much an intellectual Liliputian you are.
I suggest you read up on the subject of feminism properly and stop misrepresenting the movement.