it is unbelievable, but it is true, my girl friend for four years has never told me she luved me. tru dis period , she has only sent it as an email four years ago  and a test message this year after we had a quarrel,but as for word of mouth, she has never said so. i am at a cross road now,  is she really mine ? 

laawwwd Jesoz!!!

It's possible she's the reserved type especially when it comes to matters of the heart. That does not mean she doesn't love you. I think you should approach the subject to her and hear her response.

WELL, I HAVE TRIED , SHE CLAIMS SHE DOES NOT BELIEVE IN USING THOSE WORDS. EVEN AT THAT, SHE SHOWS LITTLE OR NO SIGNS OF SOMEONE WHO LOVES ME, SHE DOES NOT CALL TOO OFTEN , NO PERSONAL OR LUV TEXT MESSAGES AND GENERALLY UNROMANTIC. I THOUGHT AT THE BEGINING OF THE RELATIONSHIP THAT TINS WIL CHANGE SINCE IT WAS HER FIRST RELATIONSHIP BUT AM BECOMING FUSTRATED , I FEEL AM NOT LOVED.

then she is not the one for you. Either you learn to live without it or you move on. You can force her to change who she is.

But isn't it the actions that matter most? Does she act like she loves you? Sometimes after saying you love someone you feel vulnerable, but it seems to me she should have no reason to feel vulnerable, in fact it seems to me that you love her, and are frustrated since you feel that maybe these 4 years meant nothing to her.

I think you should tell her this in a matured way, express that because she has never said it to you, sometimes you wonder if she does, and if she does and cares about your feelings, she would probably explain and tag it with an 'I love you', obviously if the explanation is 'Oh, hunny I didn't know how that felt' but if it happens to be something deeper than that, then at least you'd understand why she hasn't said it, and it may not bother you as much.

REALLY, I HAVE ALWAYS MADE EXCUSES FOR HER WHY SHE BEHAVES DE WAY DOES, SHE TOLD ME THAT PRIOR TO HER SAYING YES TO ME, SHE NEVER BELIEVED IN RELATIONSHIPS, SHE BELIEVED SHE WOULD MARRY HER FRIEND ONE DAY, I WAS HOPEFUL THAT WOULD CHANGE BUT AM NOT GETTIN WAT I EXPECT FROM SOMEONE WHO I HOPE I WOULD SETTLE DOWN WITH , IN TRUTH I LUV HER BUT I DONT THINK I CAN ENDURE ANYMORE.

4years?

I still can't imagine that.

Do you ever tell her you love her?

i do, i cant remember how many days that went bye witout me calling her, telling her how important she meant to me,  at a point, i stop using words of mouth but sent her emails and text messages at regular intervals but all she did was give me a smile of approval.

dimitri:

REALLY, I HAVE ALWAYS MADE EXCUSES FOR HER WHY SHE BEHAVES DE WAY DOES, SHE TOLD ME THAT PRIOR TO HER SAYING YES TO ME, SHE NEVER BELIEVED IN RELATIONSHIPS, SHE BELIEVED SHE WOULD MARRY HER FRIEND ONE DAY, I WAS HOPEFUL THAT WOULD CHANGE BUT AM NOT GETTIN WAT I EXPECT FROM SOMEONE WHO I HOPE I WOULD SETTLE DOWN WITH , IN TRUTH I LUV HER BUT I DONT THINK I CAN ENDURE ANYMORE.

Now this just sounds like she's joking with you. She doesn't appreciate you, how can she tell you the man she's supposed to be happy with that she believed she would marry her friend one day, those things you don't say to the person you love. I think she is taking you for granted, majorly. You two need 'the talk' open up, tell her ALL of your frustrations, lay your emotions down and then really assess whether it's her you don't want to lose or the four years.

you're just stop-gap till she finds the real man she loves. Find another bone bro.

dimitri:

i do, i can't remember how many days that went bye witout me calling her, telling her how important she meant to me,  at a point, i stop using words of mouth but sent her emails and text messages at regular intervals but all she did was give me a smile of approval.

Eya, did you ever ask her why she didn't tell you she loves you?

Maybe she prefers action better than words

I HAVE BARED MY MIND SEVERAL TIMES BUT SHE WILL PROMISE TO CHANGE BUT NOTTIN SIGNIFICANT HAPPUNS, SHE SENT ME A HOROSCOPE PREDICTION WHICH SHOWED WE HAD MORE DIFFERENCES THAN SIMILARITIES, I FOR ONE , DONT BELIEVE IN HOROSCOPES AND I TRIED TO MAKE HER UNDERSTAND THAT AND IT LED TO AN ARGUMENT AND SINCE THEN , WE BARELY DISCUSS WHEN I CALL. I STOPPED CALLING BUT SHE HAS NEVER BOTHERED TO CALL ME EITHER.

she is not emotionally responsive - advise her to go for counselling or therapy, leave her or she will make you depressed all your life.

Am sorry, but all I can tell you to do is M.O.V.E   O.N.

She's not worth it

WE ARE IN DIFFERENT CITIES I CANT REALLY LEAVE MY JOB TO SEE HER AND TALK THINGS OVER BUT CAN I BREAK UP THROUGH THE PHONE ?

Wow, a break up through the phone?

I don't think that's proper.

Just desist from calling her, and if she does not call, don't bother.

When you meet her F2F, you let her know it's over.

Then it should not be a surprise to her since you guyz haven't talked for a while

@Dimitri, Have you ever tried to talk with her on phone of recent and you mention about it with her?
Also before you traveled has it been like that.

I AM WEIGHING ALL MY OPTIONS , BUT I DONT REALLY DONT WANT HER TO PROMPT ME TO TELL WATS UP, ITS MAY BE SIGN OF WEAKNESS

timmfikk:

@Dimitri, Have you ever tried to talk with her on phone of recent and you mention about it with her?
Also before you traveled has it been like that.

I AM SO INCENSED WITH ANGER WEN I CALL AND I TRY TO BE CALM BUT OUR DISCUSSIONS HAS BEEN STEROETYPED AND I DONT HAVE THE MOTIVATION TO MAKE TINS WORK ANY MORE.

Alrgith right now, what do you have in plan yourself to do, your mind and determination matters about the relationship, i will suggest if shes not too far from you, why not try and go see her in person. And you can talk it out let her understand your kind your feeling about everything and take a reasonable steps after you are able to talk to her. I dont want to bring judgment on one side. ok

why don't you try to find out why she is that way b4 coming to conclusions. someone must have broken her heart which makes it hard for her to love or trust anyone. for example i don't call my husband pet names because i honestly cannot bring myself to say words like hunny or sweetie, because i think its too cheesy and i get worried how it would sound when i say it. when i call him on the phone i say "hey wats up" and he says "hey baby, or hey my wife". so there might be a reason you just need to find out by asking her, if she cannot open up then find someone else.

nice word ima1

well, i have tried, in my earlier post, i explained she said she does not believe in relationships and all that .At some point she promised to change but still same old story, even if u r heart broken, cant time heal wounds ? four years is not four months

Be honest, have you done something to make her loose trust in you because it sounds to me that your girl of 4 years plus does not trust you, and it sounds like you are trying to compensate for something. since you have tried to talk to her about it n it ain't working out you have 2 options, either you break up or suck it up and come to the realization that your babe has a hard time showing emotions

i must confess , i have never loved anyone else as i luv her, that why i have waited for this long, i saw the signs in de beginin, i thot she could come out of her shell one day.

I think what you need to do is try not to call her for some times, and see maybe she will ever try to know why you have failed to get her contacted but after about a month and the problems are still same position, bro call her and let her know she is forcing you to love her when she never love you, and for such a reason you want to quit the relationship let her know she opened the exit door for you by trying to let you down on matters and issue that should have uphold a relationship

@dimitri
all i can tell you to do is to to simply run, because av had such experience with those kind of girls.
Mind u, dnt ever expect her 2 change because NATURE is very hard 2 cheat/change. i classify those kind of girls as stone-hearted and over reserved,  i know u really love her oooooo, but men it wont work out at the end of the day.
My past relationship of 4yrs+ was similar 2 your case,but at the end of the day, i found out that she loved someone else(she confessed).
i was really hurt because i loved her so much,it took me more than 2yrs 2 love any other girl again,  i made a vow 2myself i wuld never date any girl that is 2 reserved or 2 quiet(they can kill someone, and u'll never suspect anything because they dnt talk),  they can afford 2 mess around without u ever suspecting for 100yrs.
so my man, leave that girl alone and move on with this sweet life. i av a girl that really appreciates me now,makes my day and brings out the MAN in me,
So many good chicks ar waiting for you out there man,

repeated thread

u know wht?4 mi i think she is just feelin loved nd wanted,i mean we ar al human beings nd as human beings with the sense organ (skin)we feel things,like u said u ve told nd showd hw much u love her severally to c if she cld com out of her shell,bt it stil hasn't worked out. it is obvious that she doesnt feel d sensation nd that her heart beats 4 som1 else because if she were to b pretending by now she would ave changed 2ndly if it were to b due to her past predicarments she would ave also changed like u said u ve tried al your possible best,so guy i think u shld move on wit your lyf the earlier u realize that she doesn't ave an atom of feelings for you the beta for you.

If she doesn't love you why should she say so?