My mum is a hypocrite, and I am saying that without regret! How can someone who fought tooth and nail to marry my dad who is a Yoruba man be secretly forbidding me from marrying the man of my dream because he is also Yoruba?

My mum is an Ibo woman who faced a lot of opposition from her family members before she was eventually allowed to marry my dad who is from the South-West. I used to envy her guts and ability to fight for what’s right; but how can one explain her deep hatred for Moyin?
Moyin and I met at my mum’s 50th birthday a couple of years back, and we have never stopped to look back since then. Mum never liked Moyin from the first time I introduced him to her; and her reason is based on him not being born an Ibo guy. I wasn’t expecting that from her because I thought she was not cut out for tribal stuffs; but of course, I was wrong. Now she is threatening to do everything within her power to bring an end to my relationship with the love of my life; how pathetic!

Mum is hypocritical about the whole thing that she keeps drawing my dad’s attention to the problem Moyin had a year ago instead of coming out clean on what the real problem is. Moyin was wrongly relieved of his appointment while working at the branch of a particular bank. The issue was investigated, and he was only dismissed because of negligence and not even because of fraud. To my dad, that is not a problem; but my mum keeps harping on other issues and nagging my dad all day all night about my Moyin not being good enough for me.

The problem with my dad is that he doesn’t want to believe that my mum doesn’t like Moyin because he is not an Ibo man. My dad seems to think such things are not possible with her because she once fought against that same problem some years back.

I know I am the only female child of the family, but it doesn’t give my mum the right to choose a man for me based on tribe or even religion. At my age, I have earned the right to choose the right person to settle down with, and no one can deny me that. She is just acting out a script written long time ago. When I was much younger, she used to drum and sing it into my ears that she wants me to marry a man from the east. Her excuse or reason was that it is almost impossible to find someone from the west who as similar attitude as my dad. My mum loves and adores my dad so much that she doesn’t believe any other man from the west can be as nice and caring as him.

What do I do, and how do I go about making my dad believe that my mum is playing the ethnic or tribal card? My dad knows that my mum doesn’t like Moyin; but he always believes that things will eventually smoothen out. However, things are not going to get any better because only last week my mum went to Moyin’s house to warn him off her daughter or he should be prepared to face the consequences.
Now Moyin is beginning to show signs of someone who is getting tired and frustrated with the entire situation. I am afraid that he might want to call it quit sooner or later as I am not the only girl in town.

Please help me because I know there are some people out there who have been in similar situation before. I just need help on how to get out of this quagmire before my mum’s selfish and hypocritical attitude drives the only man I love out of my life.

SOURCE:www.iyandasdiary.com

You better listen to your mother now and adhere to her advice. I guess she is talking our of experience. Igbos dont have same culture and belief with the yorubas. E.G In yoruba's culture, a man can have extra marital affairs comfortably, they can bear children outside their matrimonial homes without any issues. But in Igbolad it is seen as a bad attitude. Yorubas can walk in and out of marriages at will. My sister shine your eyes oh!!!! and so many other issues.

Fight for the man you love, unless of course your mum has been pretending to be happy in her marriage all these years.

arkreality: You better listen to your mother now and adhere to her advice. I guess she is talking our of experience. Igbos dont have same culture and belief with the yorubas. E.G In yoruba's culture, a man can have extra marital affairs comfortably, they can bear children outside their matrimonial homes without any issues. But in Igbolad it is seen as a bad attitude. Yorubas can walk in and out of marriages at will. My sister shine your eyes oh!!!! and so many other issues.

u just said my mind.@OP im available.im from abia.send me a pm and lets talk fast.

Yes, every mother wants her children to marry from her town including my mum. But she knows the kinda son she has so she no go play with fire.

Tell, ur Mama say make she bring husband for you, if she dey bring dem you go dey reject them until she go tire. But time is not on ur side.

Perfect Plan:- GET PREGNANT FOR THE GUY IF YOU TRULY KNOW HE WON'T MAKE YOUR MOTHER EVENTUALLY RIGHT. :COS A MAN THAT LOVES YOU TODAY MAY HATE YOU LIKE POO TOMMOROW.

shout on ur mother she wants to ruin ur life because of her selfishnex. Tell her the bitter truth.

As long as you are ready to live with this Moyin(what sort of name is that sef) and you are willing to shoulder whatever comes out of it alone, marry him with or without mum's permission

Show your mum this

Pray tell that you are on the right end of the age scale cos if you aren’t then stats point towards an uncomfortable struggle to find that man

Jay boogie!!!!!!!

LWMKD

jay bee: Show your mum this

Pray tell that you are on the right end of the age scale cos if you aren’t then stats point towards an uncomfortable struggle to find that man

Oh Jaybee!!!!!

jay bee: Show your mum this
Pray tell that you are on the right end of the age scale cos if you aren’t then stats point towards an uncomfortable struggle to find that man

As for me, I rather allow my son to marry a Yoruba girl than my daughter to marry a Yoruba man.

My reasons?

A yoruba friend of mine always condemn their people, especially the men. She said ''Our men are like dogs, they always cheat on their wives and see nothing wrong with it''

Don't misunderstand me o

xynerise:


As for me, I rather allow my son to marry a Yoruba girl than my daughter to marry a Yoruba man.

My reasons?

A yoruba friend of mine always condemn their people, especially the men. She said ''Our men are like dogs, they always cheat on their wives and see nothing wrong with it''

Don't misunderstand me o

Yeah we already know the subtle hints of suppressed bigotry

xynerise:


As for me, I rather allow my son to marry a Yoruba girl than my daughter to marry a Yoruba man.

My reasons?

A yoruba friend of mine always condemn their people, especially the men. She said ''Our men are like dogs, they always cheat on their wives and see nothing wrong with it''

Don't misunderstand me o

I've been told that too..I do observe that..My angry Yoruba neighbours..Always fight cos of this CHEATING ISSUE..

jay bee: Show your mum this

Pray tell that you are on the right end of the age scale cos if you aren’t then stats point towards an uncomfortable struggle to find that man

I can ONLY marry an Igbo,Yoruba or Benin man,as long as I am satisfied with him.Follow your heart .

This graph though... there is something true about it. maybe if your mom sees it, she will chill a bit.

Jst sit your mum down and talk things Over, the earlier she knows you acquired your. "not giving up" spirit from her, the better for the two of you.

Mynd_44:
Yeah we already know the subtle hints of suppressed bigotry

Come on antelope, If I will allow my daughter to marry a Yoruba man, how is that bigotry?

Elli-dude:
I've been told that too..I do observe that..My angry Yoruba neighbours..Always fight cos of this CHEATING ISSUE..

Its common to them

xynerise:
Come on antelope, If I will allow my daughter to marry a Yoruba man, how is that bigotry?

Read what you wrote again.

Mynd_44:
Read what you wrote again.

I should be telling you that

xynerise:
Come on antelope, If I will allow my daughter to marry a Yoruba man, how is that bigotry?

xynerise:


As for me, I rather allow my son to marry a Yoruba girl than my daughter to marry a Yoruba man.

My reasons?

A yoruba friend of mine always condemn their people, especially the men. She said ''Our men are like dogs, they always cheat on their wives and see nothing wrong with it''

Don't misunderstand me o

In Lawloy's words, "Keep talking and digging at the same time"

Mynd_44:




In Lawloy's words, "Keep talking and digging at the same time"

''I rather allow my son to marry a Yoruba girl.......'''

xynerise:
''I rather allow my son to marry a Yoruba girl.......'''

The typical Nigerian belief is that a woman really does not decide what happens in the home so while you can live with a yoruba Daughter-in-law, yoruba men can never be good enough.

As I said "subtle hints of suppressed bigotry"

Mynd_44:
The typical Nigerian belief is that a woman really does not decide what happens in the home so while you can live with a yoruba Daughter-in-law, yoruba men can never be good enough.

As I said "subtle hints of suppressed bigotry"

There is nothing bigotry in what I said. It is the plain truth and you know it.

I mean the part of infidelity

xynerise:
There is nothing bigotry in what I said. It is the plain truth and you know it.

I mean the part of infidelity

I disagree Sir, cheating is definitely not tribe specific but you are entitled to your own opinion

Let's try not to deviate from the main issue guys.

xynerise:
There is nothing bigotry in what I said. It is the plain truth and you know it.

I mean the part of infidelity

You are quick to agree that men from a particular tribe cheat hence not good enough.

"There is nothing Bigoty in what I said" we know better

Sorry Jay bee.

jay bee:
I disagree Sir, cheating is definitely not tribe specific but you are entitled to your own opinion

Let's try not to deviate from the main issue guys.

Lol. Ok. We will discuss this later via mail

Mynd_44:
You are quick to agree that men from a particular tribe cheat hence not good enough.

"There is nothing Bigoty in what I said" we know better

Sorry Jay bee.

E don do

Same thing happened to a female friend of mine.
Her Igbo father forbade her from marrying a Yoruba man .

easy bro, no need talking about war.it have absolute nothing to do with civil war.it's not only the yorubas but other tribes too.infact some igbos find it difficult marrying outside their village, town or state.the parents will tell you it's better you marry close to your home so that your people won't forget you at old age. For their mind they want the best for their children but most times it pushes us to marry the wrong person. Imagine someone came to ask for my hand in marriage this Christmas and my dad refused simply because he is not a Catholic. anyway na me never serious shaaa I for do him wetin my cousin do her papa.

^^^^^ pull over