serious o.

@ poster, you have to use your brain here. Evaluate and weigh what everyone has said here carefully and do what you know is best for you.

But really, do you want to abandon what you've helped built and let a woman from no where enjoy it all? Do you really want to leave this man penniless when you have kids to raise?

Anyway, you know your situation. Do you think you can stick with him for 6 years? Well, if you can't, get in contact with Legal Aid and find out where you stand.

If he's hitting you, make sure you write the exact dates and time when he does this. Also, PLS don't hide things from your kids cos they'll probably have to testify against him if you go to court. And, you don't want kids that'll say "My dad is the best dad in the world".

Before you do anything, think long and hard.

Wishing you the best. Pls keep us posted!

Hi,
I agree with majority of the advice given to you in this forum. As a relationship expert, it appears the guy is in just this relationship just for the money. He does not respect you nor does he care about the children. He is in just for the material wealth. one day he'll get up and go and that is when it will hurt you most. He will get up, go to the next bee and marry her. where will that leave you? You will be very hurt. Realise from this point, you deserve BETTER. You deserve to be treated better. Life will give you what you demand from it. Say to yurself enough is enough. You are not in this life to be trample over by him, The bible even says 'do not throw your pearl before a dog. why, he will only trample over them!'

In short, STOP. Think back. There is a way out. It is just ahead of you. Think, Find your way out and start to rebuild your life back.

Subscribe to the free relationship email course. It contains plenty of advice of how to deal with a man like him. http://pinurl.com/d85

Make sure you take action. This is your year of freedom.

You guys she is nt in danger.now let me ask u some questions,How sure are u tht he will marry you? 2ndly cant you hasten the marriage?becos u obviously need his name to get tht money,and what exactly is the position u hold in the company OH no pls dnt tell me u sit at home and watch the kids,becos if tht is the case then u need to his name this year i mean u need to get married to him this year,men like tht are very smart he will keep posting u,one day u will be fed up and u will leave,fine u have made a terrible mistake but it is all still good the question is have u learnt your lesson and can yyou now see how much you need his name for the money?marry him this year or if u hold a part of the company then u have a voice and you can invite a lawyer to intervene.

Adonica:

#1. I don't have any kids and haven't raised any single-handedly but I will not stoop so low and be stupid enough to get myself knocked up by some abusive, immature low life . . .I believe that is why they have PROTECTION!!!

#2. step in your shoes for one week? . . .hey, you made your bed, you lay on it
and props to you for being married for the second time at age 33 . . .you will be a very good role model to alot of single moms out there. As it is right now, you are already converting the poster to marry the guy and divorce him after 6yrs then she can start taking applications for husband #2 just like you. The institution called "MARRIAGE" is no longer sacred anymore to you people . . .get married for money, pop kids as much as you like with 10 different men, get divorced and start sueing each other to split the money and the kidsis that what you call life. I bet with the rate at which you are going, at age 50, you will end up with husband #17as long as it ain't working, we can always opt out of it . . .right?

@Poster,
if you know what is good for you . . .take your kids and leave the low life of a guy alone . . .you are 27, you can start your own business and make some good money. You deserve better . . .heck, let the guy even cry and come crawling to you and not you crawling back to him after he's done cheating on you. You deserve better than what you have nowunless you are sooooo ugly and have really low self esteem.

MY 25 cents!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The reality is the decisons were made, the children were born and she is where she is. No need beating her about the head and neck about what she SHOULD have done. She needs help now to secure her childrens future.

I have three children for the record. All by ONE man. My tubes are tied and my husband and i desire no more children. I was married at 17 for 11 years. So your rate of calculations on my future husbands is way off. By age 50 I should be on husband #3.

Stop giving advice on something you know nothing about.

u r in an abusive relationship, my dear. he sees you as an investment. you need 2 talk 2 a counsellor and a lawyer possibly.

you cant live your life like this. you have 2 kids that need their mum 2 be alive and whole 4 them. so do some real soul searching and then meet these 2 b4 u have ur final decision.
love no dey 4 this one!!!

wish you the best!

sistawoman:

The reality is the decisons were made, the children were born and she is where she is. No need beating her about the head and neck about what she SHOULD have done. She needs help now to secure her childrens future.

I have three children for the record. All by ONE man. My tubes are tied and my husband and i desire no more children. I was married at 17 for 11 years. So your rate of calculations on my future husbands is way off. By age 50 I should be on husband #3.

Stop giving advice on something you know nothing about.

Madam "I too know" . . . more palm oil to your elbow.
You've been on this site only 3 months and we all know your life history and future endeavors. I don't think that anyone is interested in the fact that you got married at age 17, that you went ahead to tie your womb, that your current husband don't want kids, that you had your 3 kids for an irresponsible man who lives on women and don't want nothing to do with both you and your kids. . . shouldn't that have taught you a lesson? it sure in hell speaks alot about your kind of person. Besides . . .way too much information about oneself on a website like this.

you are just about money, money, money . . .how is securing the future for her kids by remaining in that abusive relationship because she wants money going to help her or the kids? the kids would grow up to be abusive themselves or think it is okay or daddy to call mummy names . . .you would know better because you have been in such relationship and situation before.

As for me, I don't need a man to secure a future for myself and my kids and I am not stupid enough to let some guy use me as his door mat or foot stool because I want to endure, force myself to marry him so that I can later gain half the money.

That advice just has nothing but STUPIDITY written all over it.

you have the answer in your question already.find it

i know its hard 4 u,was like that 2,always watchin my babe because i luved her 2 much and we were always fighting.the simple trick.always remind him everytime that u luv him and wouldnt leave him 4 anything in d world and the next time he wants to start a fight,pretend that u are hurt and start feigning tears,30 minutes.he will come crawling and begging,cheers .

haba

some things we do for the sake of love dey baffle me sometimes.


Love dey get meaning and hin eyes sharp to see clearly when things go wrong. I bet your bf must be Mr loverman to have all you did for him. A business partly own by him and two pickins out of wedlock, i take a bow here!

Person wey situation dey kill, still dey look for advice? for where?

Adonica:

Madam "I too know" . . . more palm oil to your elbow.
You've been on this site only 3 months and we all know your life history and future endeavors. I don't think that anyone is interested in the fact that you got married at age 17, that you went ahead to tie your womb, that your current husband don't want kids, that you had your 3 kids for an irresponsible man who lives on women and don't want nothing to do with both you and your kids. . . shouldn't that have taught you a lesson? it sure in hell speaks alot about your kind of person. Besides . . .way too much information about oneself on a website like this.

you are just about money, money, money . . .how is securing the future for her kids by remaining in that abusive relationship because she wants money going to help her or the kids? the kids would grow up to be abusive themselves or think it is okay or daddy to call mummy names . . .you would know better because you have been in such relationship and situation before.

As for me, I don't need a man to secure a future for myself and my kids and I am not stupid enough to let some guy use me as his door mat or foot stool because I want to endure, force myself to marry him so that I can later gain half the money.

That advice just has nothing but STUPIDITY written all over it.

I dont need a man to secure my future either as I did it on my FUCKING own. The problem with your thinking is that I am not going to let another BITCH come in and reap the rewards for what i helped him build. Children are far more resilient then you give them credit. Parenting and love can change anything. You mean to tell me you do everything like your mom and dad. No I would have to say that is incorrect. You, everyone, picks what they want from thier parents and use it or loose it.

He turned his back on his children because he is less than a man. What that shows about me is that at 14 (when i started dating him) I made the wrong choice in men. Please tell me what 14 year old you know ready to make a life long choice like that? So yes please insult me cuz i was stupid and young and thought i knew it all. My bad!!!!

sistawoman:

I don't need a man to secure my future either as I did it on my FUCKING own. The problem with your thinking is that I am not going to let another BITCH come in and reap the rewards for what i helped him build. Children are far more resilient then you give them credit. Parenting and love can change anything. You mean to tell me you do everything like your mom and dad. No I would have to say that is incorrect. You, everyone, picks what they want from their parents and use it or loose it.

He turned his back on his children because he is less than a man. What that shows about me is that at 14 (when i started dating him) I made the wrong choice in men. Please tell me what 14 year old you know ready to make a life long choice like that? So yes please insult me because i was stupid and young and thought i knew it all. My bad!!!!

tough luck to you . . . besides at 14, I was glued to my books and not chasing men. ain't ma fault.
whether another BITCH comes in and reap from the business or not is her punishment for letting the guy put the business under his name. If she was smart, the guy ain't married to her and she went ahead and let the business be registered under his name? it could have been in their kids name, that way she won't be regretting now.

all the same . . .she needs to leave that abusive relationship fast!

Adonica:

tough luck to you . . . besides at 14, I was glued to my books and not chasing men. ain't ma fault.
whether another BITCH comes in and reap from the business or not is her punishment for letting the guy put the business under his name. If she was smart, the guy ain't married to her and she went ahead and let the business be registered under his name? it could have been in their kids name, that way she won't be regretting now.

all the same . . .she needs to leave that abusive relationship fast!

I am happy that at 14 you were glued to your books, and I dont hold that against you. At 14 I was burrying my sister and trying to find my place in a broken home. No parent should have to burry thier children. And when my parents had to my family fell apart. I looked for love in the wrong places and found what i found. (if you read what i write there is a lesson to be learned)

She made the mistake of letting the business not be put in her name. At this point there is nothing she can do about, she asked us for advice moving forward. Why should she compound that mistake by turning around and walking away from what she helped build? He is menally abusive not physically. She can stand her ground, sink her feet and get the next 6 years over and done with. In the end when she walks away she walks away with what is rightfully hers.

If he was any kind of real man she would not be going thru this.

We will just have to agree to disagree.

it will worth million of dollars

dont believe this story again

I think there is a lot more to this story than meets the eye. . . . will it become something worth millions of dollars or is it [i]already [/i]worth that?

Obviously the man is worried that if he cheated you will also, that is not necessarily a bad thing, he sounds like he needs counseling - you both do.

I do not know how much abuse or there has been or not been, but that issue needs to be discussed in a mature way - if he is unwilling to discuss it or change, that is when you should leave.

I don't subscribe to the 'once a cheater always a cheater' mantra, there is little to show that is true - some people are serial cheaters, others do so due to circumstances around them, realise their mistakes and never go back.

To all the people saying he is staying around just for money, why will he follow her everywhere just because of money? The man is insecure about the relationship, not about money as such. Besides, we do not know how much either party contributed to this 'business', it might be more of his efforts or more of hers, we do not know enough to say.

Like others have said, think long and hard - if you have problems in your relationship, seek to SOLVE them first, if not for yourself, for your children. Single parenthood is not easy and not advisable, unless that is the best choice for you and the kids.

i constantly get sick and ALMOST puke when i read or hear the same stories. y can't humans learn from other people's mistakes.

@ poster, how r u sure that he will even get married to u and do u even want to subject yourself to an abusive marriage?
d guy has been enjoying the benefits of married life without being married.
your guy has an hidden agenda (ulterior motive).

if you're not certain about his fidelity, lace him with magun. (very effective)

if all else fails try the ff:
wake up in the middle of the night, get naked, put your hand for ,  (get the picture) and curse (not cuss, huge difference: curse is more potent) him.  , he will regret ever laying his eyes on u (or the day he was born).
chiekena.

Dear Jem,
See if you both can work something out and be as you were last three years. But if it doesnt work, be patient until the contract is done and the money is down and dont forgert, get married to him then later sue for a divorce. And child custody. By doing that, i bet you are gonna get half of what he has. Being in his name or not.

What's up poster? I think first you need to know what you want and then you get into how you can get it

1]Do you want the relationship to work? Solution:Stop fighting, bitching, be humble, you are the wife not the husband, and be a good wife. I am sure you loved this man if not you wouldn't have had kids with him. True? Or maybe you are falling out of love with all the bullshit going on?
2]You want divorce and want to be broke? Solution: Divorce him now and let him have all the money, by the way you choose him in the first place not his money [not a good option]
3]You want to divorce him by owning half of his money and business values? Solution: Check with your lawyer, even if you don't have a lawyer, look up a local lawyer in your area and get all the juicy info. you need. Especially a divorce lawyer, that way they can give you current info. Law changes a lot. Sistawoman made a good point on that. Also don't talk to your friends about this issue especially your lady friends, this may be a ticket for them to get your man. If you have already did talk to them, talk to them again and said that everything is fine and well. Play it cool.

Also, not every info. you can disclose on a public forum, you never know who might know you, especially when it comes to dollars, if you know what I mean.

@ poster

Na waooooooo, and no be small thing for your end there ooooo.
Wetin you wan do now?
You better start forgetting about him and look else where

thank you guys 4 everything.

if i leave him that he will make sure got nothing from him by claiming so many thing

our business have so many location, ghana,china,nigeria.uk,dubia,agent and sign contract with some nigeria n ghana banks.its international business

my question is how can you get money or compensation from him?how will i start without losing everything?where will i start?

ps i need a lawyer advice

am very sure that most of u heard about ths business but i dont wanna say the name of the business.

i have no place to go,no income,travel around the world helping out with ths business

4 the past 4 month i handly spent time with my children, they r with nanny

can you believe that he telling me that i am with him because of his money.

when i met ths guy he didnt have penny, i use my money to start ths business and help wth

If you don't love him or believe things cannot be changed don't marry him and run like hell.

You better act fast.

Contact a lawyer find out your rights.

Do you have any proof of any money you have given him?

At the end of the day its just money your health and well being and that of your childrens is the most important thing.

Karma will pay him a visit

thank you ladyt

i dont have any proof because i thought i was helpin to build a better future 4 all of us.i guss i was wrong

outlaw

do u think is that easy

there is children involve with ths
i dont have nothin to call mine,where will i start with two children


am beginning to think that am payin 4 my sin from the past life

ask god to show me the way

@ jemima

when wil u end this lie abeg?

inupaul
pls if u dont v anything to say, pls dont rob peper in my eye

why will i lie,what will i get by lieing

thank 4 nothing

Ignore outlaw and Paul.

This is the sad state of affairs that is relationships.  Men and woman once settled and happy forget about the partner that helped them struggle.  They forget the partner that was giving them money when they had none.  The partner that slaved away to help make a better life.

This is why I advise ALL women and men to make sure you are independant have your own savings even if you have to do it in secret.  Because once this crazy partner decides to start messing up you already have your own money saved you are already stable. 

It is sad but true but as honest as you can with your partner but keep a hold of your senses!

We no longer have morals.

No hard feelings but I honestly blame u 4 all that has come ur way
Firstly u guys were'nt even married and 2 kids already with a marriage that u know wont work out, what do u now have 2 look forward to in such a marriage and the last time I checked there must be something to look forward 2 in Marriage i.e kids,happiness,bliss,fulfilment e.t.c and what do u in ur own honest judgement think this guy can guarantee u?
And u say u still love him? Sista u gat to 2 wake up. I think u are kind of stuck rite now but u cant give up cos of ur kids and ur funds cos The truth is even sometimes love is not enough.

Ignore outlaw and Paul.

thats the problem with u guys, someone has made up a tale and u all happy advising.

the truth is dat jemima is obviously lying. milion $ bidness ko

ladyt , inbox
thanks


to be honest with guys i dont even v a dime in my name

i blame my self 4 everyting, my weaknes is i trust poeple so easier.

i think he know that am not going leave him anytime soon because he once ask me when r u goin to live if u chose to leave ths relationship, u v no money to support urself or the children.

i never though i will been in ths situation because from the beginning it was alway our but now is mine

idupaul
i wouldnt even weste my time with u because i have a bigger problem than you

pls if you dont have anything to say move on

i play to god that whatever that happen to me,shouldnt happen to u.

all i needed was advice,opinion,hope,not insult.

pls treat poeple the way you want to be treated because u may never know when u will need advice from somebody



thanx