The Nigerian institution of marriage is unconventional by western standards. The traditional and Islamic systems of polygamy flourish within every social class. Women expect very little from men in terms of companionship, personal care, and fidelity. Their relationships exist without the emotional elements.

Polygamy is a crucial component of many women's lives. Women depend on the other wives of their husbands. The younger co-wives take on many of the household and financial responsibilities. As women get older they have the comfort of knowing that the burden of their marriage does not fall solely on their shoulders.

A woman's postion in society changes vastly once they marry since she becomes a possession, with relatively no rights in her husband's family. In fact, the husband's mother and sisters have much more of an influence over him than his own wife. The wife resents this lack of control or even respect within their marriage.

The Nigerian system of inheritance reflects the lack of male responsibility to his wife and children. If a husband dies, the woman usually receives nothing, although the law entitles her to a share. If she has no children, the treatment is worse. Since property can only pass between the same sexes, women can never inherit from their fathers.

Within marriage, women have an obligation to have children. Traditionally, society blames the woman for a marriage without children. Society not only condemns women who cannot have children, but unmarried and divorced women as well.

In recent years, the support of the co-wives has diminished. Modern developments of mandatory education, urbanization, and capitalism are changing the Nigerian society. Since 1960, educational opportunities have expanded for women. Slowly men are beginning to see the value of higher education for their wives. Now, more often than not, they send their daughters to school for an education.

wow!! this is very interesting.  I wonder how come no one on this forum detest your thread?  hmm, got me thinking.  But then again, I strongly believe that my father has many wives in Nigeria.   

On a serious note, are you saying  - if I decide to date a Nigerian I have to share him with another woman?  You kidding me right? I for one don't believe in sharing

dang: there goes my dream out the window - about me going to Nigeria to find my Prince

[size=13pt]Total bull shit[/size]

@ poster

You're wrong you know. We are not that backward in Nigeria. There might be some cases, but it's not the norm in today's Nigeria. Please, don't let half educated people give you wrong notions about your country. If you ask me, you're better off marrying a Naija man than any other nationality. However, whatever nationality you choose to marry, remember to "look before you leap". It is always easier to back out before you get in, than trying to get out when you're already in.

There are a thousands of nigerian men here and they pick nigerian women , go there and bring.
I talk with a lot of them, they accept everything, the pastor's wife told me : we accept when our men is unfaithfull, you brazilians not !

Also they mess to please them without care about their own orgasmic, their life is slave life: clean the house, take care of their babe, mess whatever they want, accept everything, be alone almost a big part of the time because they are always focus on makey money and that's why they used travel a lot, this last one is an acceptable problem once we must eat, lol, etc etc etc

Is convenient for them pick this kind of women , like average you, a kind of slave, a kind of doll

This is absolute nonsense written by an unenlightened person in an attempt to seriously denigrate the Nigerian male.

Poster, please go and join forum where Brazilians say what they like. Tne reason you're here is the love of Nigerians; it just means you are foolish if you love people with the attitude you described.

How far will you go in your attempt to destroy the image of the Nigerian man? Your heartache is just starting

your profile says you are looking for naija husband.
you go die before you find naija husband

The reality is bitter "sistah"
Just God to save you ;-)

I didn't write the test, I just copy an paste . But I have heard this kind of comments from my naija female friends in Brazil. So, why don't you face the reality instead of pretend everything is under control and perfect ?

I have dated a naija for 4 years, he is domesticaded and familiar with western values because I teach but of course his base keeps the same, so I have property to talk what I am talking.

why did you not reference where you copied from? I have told you all you need to know. With what you have in your head about Nigerian men, you are better staying with Brazilian men. I dont understand when people have negative views of Nigerians and they are still with Nigerians.

Why dont you just shove off

This is rubbish and a long meaningless talk.

As you demand, here it goes

Google

Women in Nigeria Today - [ Traduzir esta página ]The Nigerian institution of marriage is unconventional by western standards. The traditional and Islamic systems of polygamy flourish within every social ,
www.usp.nus.edu.sg/post/nigeria/contwomen.html - 6k - Em cache - Páginas Semelhantes

http://www.usp.nus.edu.sg/post/nigeria/contwomen.html

Women in Nigeria Today
Alyssa Qualls

THE PROBLEM IS NOT NIGERIAN MEN, THE PROBLEM IS "YOU" - NIGERIAN WOMEN, Y STILL DIDNT GET THE BOTTOM LINE OF THE ISSUE.

Are you satisfied now ?

Within marriage, women have an obligation to have children. Traditionally, society blames the woman for a marriage without children. Society not only condemns women who cannot have children, but unmarried and divorced women as well.

Open your mouth if you are woman to tell me it is rubbish, lie or whatever !

tRoOE:

[size=13pt]Total bull shit[/size]

I couldn't agree more

poster, since you have chosen to believe anything you read, I'll also start writing about brazil based on what I hear from just anyone and we'll see how correct my writings will be.

People who write about Nigerian from outside Nigeria never cease to amaze me; even if they are Nigerians. Mostly they form opinions based on the little that they see or hear about which is ofter very wrong and biased. For instance, in Europe a lot of people still believe that Nigerian men traffic women by force to European nations. Only some who have met Nigerians before or who have been to and lived in Nigeria know better.

make una carry una generalisations comot

Poster

I don't believe anything I read at once, I do research and ask. Besides what I wrote , I have talked with a lot of naija women face to face, and I understand a lit bit of your culture.

In everything the writter wrote, what is lie and what is true ? or everything is lie ?

Nigerian women is not over tolerant ? to get married without have babe is a not a problem ? delivery 10 babe girls and no boy is OK ? etc etc etc ,

Be straight foward and objective, the issue here is culture/marriage/naija women behave and not trafic of women or Brazil, we can talk about these ones in another thread.

I don't see what the bullshit is in this. It is the truth. Actually this article is quite rosy. Nigerian women (I will say maybe 75%) think this way. They do not expect much from these men, then they get bitter and are unbearable to live with becasue they thought they were doing the man a favour by letting him be totally useless. As a matter of fact most of times those men are raised that way and the wives continue the tradition.
When you see a nigerian man with a strong mother that did not take any mess, he cleans, he cooks, he adores his mother and sisters then you are lucky, hold on to him. Let it be heard. You do not do these men a favor by treating them like retards. You can all start insulting me now.

Outstrip:

I don't see what the bullshit is in this. It is the truth. Actually this article is quite rosy. Nigerian women (I will say maybe 75%) think this way. They do not expect much from these men, then they get bitter and are unbearable to live with becasue they thought they were doing the man a favour by letting him be totally useless. As a matter of fact most of times those men are raised that way and the wives continue the tradition.
When you see a nigerian man with a strong mother that did not take any mess, he cleans, he cooks, he adores his mother and sisters then you are lucky, hold on to him. Let it be heard. You do not do these men a favor by treating them like retards. You can all start insulting me now.

Bingo! You're right there.

Outstrip (f)

I totally agree.
The truth is always bitter.
You were very happy in all your comments. Congratulations for the wisdow ;-)

You can all start insulting me now too.

@ poster
The article you quoted said islamic value.

Are you saying everyone in Nigeria is a moslem?
Less than half are moslems

You teach your naija nf western values and you think that every other naija guy that is not taught by you cannot learn western value assuming that is the best value.

We have lazy men everywhere even in your brasil that is why there are many broken homes. They know the western values and yet they do not practice it then you the wetern girl cannot stay.
Give us a break jare

I agree simi.

But then you cant blame them. When they are desperate to be married no matter to whatever lunatic comes their way, how cant they not be OVERLY tolerant?

When you see a nigerian man with a strong mother that did not take any mess, he cleans, he cooks, he adores his mother and sisters then you are lucky, hold on to him. Let it be heard. You do not do these men a favor by treating them like retards.

I endorse this message

KarmaMod:

I endorse this message

Eziokwu!

I truly don't believe that Nigerians as a whole are that backwards. Yes, there are those exceptional cases in which some men do take on multiple wives for some reason or another. But Nigeria as a whole, really don't do initiate in such customs as most think we are prone to.

I concur with this to an extent.

I take too many insults and too much crap when I start dating guys because I would not want to seem nagging.
Everyone that's saying something contrary to this is lying. It has nothing to do with desperation. Every woman has done it at some point in her life. We can't all say we have always been pros in relationships.

One time, my ex was paying too much attention to another girl while he left me hanging. . . . .if you know the excuse I came up with ehn! It's automatic.
But now, no more rubbish. I am a strong woman and I am not going to just bend over easily for any man

j-girl:

One time, my ex was paying too much attention to another girl while he left me hanging. . . . .if you know the excuse I came up with ehn! It's automatic.
But now, no more rubbish. I am a strong woman and I am not going to just bend over easily for any man

Not trying to portray myself as headstrong or conceited, but I really can't imagine tolerating such acts from a man. I have had a past experience in which i was treated as such, but I sure didn't tolerate it.

onyinye2:

Not trying to portray myself as headstrong or conceited, but I really can't imagine tolerating such acts from a man. I have had a past experience in which i was treated as such, but I sure didn't tolerate it.

Get into a real relationship first. You'd be surprised how much crap u'll readily swallow.

davidylan:

Get into a real relationship first. You'D be surprised how much crap u'll readily swallow.

_{awww damn it david, always gotta be calling me out.}
You don't know what relationship i have been or not been in so don't try to assume or dictate.

You teach your naija nf western values

Yes, I have teach and he had learned some things. But he things he is doing wrong, he will be happy getting married with a naija woman because he was raised for it (beside of it, Igbo, first son)

So all my lessons/class will favor someone of you.

I was reading a lot of threads about nigerians in US, they were discussing about came back home to pick a naija wife, they even doenst accept nigerian women living in US, the discussion were like that :

- I think is better someone from the village that even doenst know how to pronounce her name in English
- I thing different, is important the women be well educated and go to university

Nigerian women living in US is not worth ;-) (international experience makes people grow and be smarter)

How much more submissive, obedient, without knowlodge , a woman that close the eyes and don't complain and she realizes he has been going out with another woman, etc,  impossible to compete with you.

He used tell me, I pet you too much, a naija women I d not pet  

onyinye2:


_{awww damn it david, always gotta be calling me out.}
You don't know what relationship i have been or not been in so don't try to assume or dictate.

Not calling you out or anything. Get in a REAL relationship, a soul tie, a serious heart to heart experience with someone you truly love . . . you'll swallow way more than crap.

onyinye2:

Not trying to portray myself as headstrong or conceited, but I really can't imagine tolerating such acts from a man. I have had a past experience in which i was treated as such, but I sure didn't tolerate it.

Girl, it's very easy to say you won't do it.
Easier said than done applies. At the time, it would be like he's just being normal. It's when you really think about it that you change your opinion of it.
Just wait till you meet that one guy. You would be so ashamed of yourself.

j-girl:

Girl, it's very easy to say you won't do it.
Easier said than done applies. At the time, it would be like he's just being normal. It's when you really think about it that you change your opinion of it.
Just wait till you meet that one guy. You would be so ashamed of yourself.

I have been in serious relationships. There are things that i will tolerate, and things that i find solely unacceptable. Folk who do, go straight into that "falling MADLY in love" category.

davidylan:

Not calling you out or anything. Get in a REAL relationship, a soul tie, a serious heart to heart experience with someone you truly love . . . you'll swallow way more than crap.

Again David, you don't know what type of relationships i have had or hadn't so don't try to assume or dictate.

To make a naija men feel in love for you and have the mind to marry you , you must play fool and act as stupid.
Make a lot of questions even if you know the answer, for they feel important, for they feel they re in the control. I know you have strenght to open a botle of coca cola  , but give it for he open for you, Ohhh honey, I can't , help me and then they will feel super men, is these kind of little bullshit that make average of them feel the Kind.

Strong black women , like us, is just for safe men, is for Obama's of life , not to everyone , lol

The life is not a theater, so we can be actress all the time. Of course we won't tolerate bullshit. Is complicated !!!

SimiBrasil:

To make a naija men feel in love for you and have the mind to marry you , you must play fool and act as stupid.

I totally disagree with this statement!
Stop embarrassing us Naija women with your atrocious assumptions