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Nigerian Women SPOIL men with their over tolerance - Family (1) - Nairaland

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Re: Nigerian Women SPOIL men with their over tolerance by Morenike3(f): 1:37am On Sep 14, 2008
If I wanted a man's love, I'd have to be myself.
If he can't love me, for me, then he might as well love someone else.
Because it is not me that he's loving if I have to act silly and dumb
Re: Nigerian Women SPOIL men with their over tolerance by SimiBrasil(f): 1:37am On Sep 14, 2008
*Morenike (f)

Sorry dear, I will try eat my tongue  cheesy
Re: Nigerian Women SPOIL men with their over tolerance by onyinye2(f): 1:39am On Sep 14, 2008
SimiBrasil:

To make a naija men feel in love for you and have the mind to marry you , you must play fool and act as silly.
Make a lot of questions even if you know the answer, for they feel important, for they feel they re in the control. I know you have strenght to open a botle of coca cola  , but give it for he open for you, Ohhh honey, I can't , help me and then they will feel super men, is these kind of little bullshit that make average of them feel the Kind.
Oka come on now. This is not a good example to support you post. Men do like to feel needed or what have you. But i don't know that much Nigerian males that like a woman who puts up a front, and is fake. Most that i have encountered do like strong women who can hold it down, but also a women who knows her man's worth.
Re: Nigerian Women SPOIL men with their over tolerance by SimiBrasil(f): 1:40am On Sep 14, 2008
Yes Morenike, thats why I wrote:

The life is not a theater, so we can be actress all the time. Of course we won't tolerate bullshit. Is complicated !!!
Re: Nigerian Women SPOIL men with their over tolerance by SimiBrasil(f): 1:43am On Sep 14, 2008
onyinye2 (f)

about my example, it is so funny that the coca-cola company here in Brazil made a comedy adverstiment about it and it was so sucess like the guiness (black is beautiful) in Nigeria

all women laught a lot and identify themselves.

so, take it easy

Of course was an exagerated example, but just for give instance, is not like it, but is more or less like it
Re: Nigerian Women SPOIL men with their over tolerance by Morenike3(f): 1:44am On Sep 14, 2008
SimiBrasil:

Yes Morenike, thats why I wrote:

The life is not a theater, so we can be actress all the time.
Of course we won't tolerate bullshit. Is complicated !!!

Is that what you think?
So, you want to play dumb and silly? that's why you want a naija husband so bad?
Life is not a theater, no, it is not. Life is what you make it to be.
Re: Nigerian Women SPOIL men with their over tolerance by SimiBrasil(f): 1:48am On Sep 14, 2008
English is not my first language, but I thought I was able to communicate.
I will explain again, if you don't understand this time, I will draft ok ?

I support your comments and that's why I said what I said.
No one should play and pretendind.

THAT'S WHY

The life is NOT a theater, so we CANT be actress all the time. Of course we WON'T tolerate bullshit. Is complicated !!!


PS: I forgot the T in the word cant, but by the context, y were supposed to guess
Re: Nigerian Women SPOIL men with their over tolerance by omoge(f): 1:48am On Sep 14, 2008
Welcome back Simibrazil. so good to have you around  wink cheesy

now you are right there. abt time not to take BS.


so I endorse this message

wink
Re: Nigerian Women SPOIL men with their over tolerance by Morenike3(f): 1:50am On Sep 14, 2008
SimiBrasil:

English is not my first language, but I thought I was able to communicate.
I will explain again, if you don't understand this time, I will draft ok ?

I support your comments and that's why I said what I said.
No one should play and pretendind.

THAT'S WHY

The life is [b]NOT a theater, so we CANT be actress all the time. Of course we WON'T tolerate bullshit. Is complicated !!!
[/b]

PS: I forgot the T in the word can't, but by the context, y were supposed to guess
Ok, now read the post you made before. . . .
Re: Nigerian Women SPOIL men with their over tolerance by onyinye2(f): 1:51am On Sep 14, 2008
@post
A man that makes a woman prone into tolerating his childish acts, then the man aint even a real man. Just a man with a boy's mindset.
Re: Nigerian Women SPOIL men with their over tolerance by SimiBrasil(f): 1:51am On Sep 14, 2008
Hello Omoge

You are the first old friend I met. Nice to meet you again.
What does BS means ?

Beijinhos
Simone
Re: Nigerian Women SPOIL men with their over tolerance by omoge(f): 1:53am On Sep 14, 2008
oh lol like our Abuna thread ummm hehehe smiley

it's Bullshit or bull poo (BS)

smile.
Re: Nigerian Women SPOIL men with their over tolerance by SimiBrasil(f): 4:26pm On Sep 14, 2008
Omoge

I thought you were nigerian oooo

If so, y were supposed insult me and not endorse the post , lol
Re: Nigerian Women SPOIL men with their over tolerance by KarmaMod(f): 6:08pm On Sep 14, 2008
jgirl, apparently you LEARNED your lesson did you not? I'm referring to women that keep this OVERLY tolerant attitude the whole time JUST to get to the altar, ironic part is one they do that's when everything changes wink although some do continue to be such glutton for punishment and never bothers calling the dude on his poo
Re: Nigerian Women SPOIL men with their over tolerance by Leilah(f): 2:40am On Sep 15, 2008
yes simi you hit it on the nail. They have to accept cheating pigs no wonder AIDS is increasing. lipsrsealed
Re: Nigerian Women SPOIL men with their over tolerance by omoge(f): 2:42am On Sep 15, 2008
simi, am not insulting you but supporing you dear.

i agree with your post that it's high time we stop spoiling the guy. so i endorse (support) you kiss
Re: Nigerian Women SPOIL men with their over tolerance by Leilah(f): 2:52am On Sep 15, 2008
I have had heart to heart talks with many ladies over here. They are basically working themselves to the bone both in and out of the home. I really don't know how they do it. Their husbands jet off on so called business trips (pleasure sprees in holiday resorts) alone of course without their wife and kids. One lady I told her to sick up for herself and she blanked me as a friend. embarassed
Re: Nigerian Women SPOIL men with their over tolerance by SimiBrasil(f): 3:34am On Sep 15, 2008
Omoge, dear.

I understood that y support me, I just think it different, because I was expecting insult from you not endorsement , lol, because you are nigerian dear, so I am happy you didn't lost your conscious and you are aware about what's happening.

Leilah,

I am here in Brazil, have a thousands of  nigerians, almost of them have wife in nigeria and here, they used say to nigerian wife that he just got married for papers , and for brazilian wife , he used say he goes to naija to visit his family (truth). But the problem is : one day , after they make the money they re suppossed make, they ll be back to Nigeria, because the dream of average of them is retire in village , what will happen with the brazilian wife and kids here ?

one day the truth will appear and it might be late

I met a guy here, nigerian, his wife were waiting for him during 10 years, he used send money to her, now he died.

lipsrsealed
Re: Nigerian Women SPOIL men with their over tolerance by richo(m): 4:05am On Sep 15, 2008
@poster
ur not eve in najia sodnt talk poo dat u dont know i hate it wen an Naughty Person generalizes
Re: Nigerian Women SPOIL men with their over tolerance by Morenike3(f): 4:09am On Sep 15, 2008
See his head, like he's not one of those Naija men lipsrsealed lipsrsealed
Re: Nigerian Women SPOIL men with their over tolerance by chino4(m): 4:53am On Sep 15, 2008
was reading a lot of threads about nigerians in US, they were discussing about came back home to pick a naija wife, they even doenst accept nigerian women living in US, the discussion were like that :

- I think is better someone from the village that even doenst know how to pronounce her name in English
- I thing different, is important the women be well educated and go to university

Nigerian women living in US is not worth ;-) (international experience makes people grow and be smarter)

How much more submissive, obedient, without knowlodge , a woman that close the eyes and don't complain and she realizes he has been going out with another woman, etc, impossible to compete with you.

He used tell me, I pet you too much, a naija women I d not pet







Men who talk in such manner anywhere in the world even if they are Nigerians or foreigners are illiterate and their word should not be treated as Gold.For your research to be complete,you need to live in Nigeria for atleast 6 months so that you can study the pros and cons.If you meet a Nigerian Guy who loves U,u wud be swept off your feet,it is for you to make the right chioce.

1 Like

Re: Nigerian Women SPOIL men with their over tolerance by DeepZone: 5:30am On Sep 15, 2008
Very well written
Re: Nigerian Women SPOIL men with their over tolerance by maxxdjinx(m): 6:24am On Sep 15, 2008
@ poster"Women expect very little from men in terms of companionship, personal care, and fidelity. Their relationships exist without the emotional elements..

Now why am I not surprised?
Re: Nigerian Women SPOIL men with their over tolerance by iceland(m): 8:02am On Sep 15, 2008
omoge:


i agree with your post that it's high time we stop spoiling the guy. so i endorse (support) you kiss
At the end of the day you'll say u dont have head for husband.How can you get married with this kind of endorsement. grin grin grin grin
Re: Nigerian Women SPOIL men with their over tolerance by emiechat: 8:11am On Sep 15, 2008
Hey SimiBrasil, I like you to know that the traditional and Islamic population does not makeup the total population composition of Nigeria. So the first fault in that write-up is that it is one sided and does not mirror the "Nigerian Society", so don't have an illusion about that. Secondly I would like you to know that with the torrential wave of Westernisation sweeping the Nigerian social space, those ancient practices are beginning to fade out. You'll be suprised with the rising level of enlightenment on the both sides of the male and female population in Nigeria.

I'll like to let you know that those your Naija friends you have been talking to in Brasil have totally lost touch with trends in Nigeria and are relating with you on their backward level of understanding of trends in Nigeria. I hope you know that the respect of the 'female person' is an age-long tradition in Nigera and so one of the men you can live with with some high level of certainty on the surface of this earth are Nigerian men.

Most of what you have read are just hyperbolical peices that exergerate these things with out an adequate insight into issues. As compared to the handling of female couterpart in countries of similar socio-cultural situation with Nigeria, even in Brasil, Nigerian men handle women with much respect than Brasilian men (argueable).
Re: Nigerian Women SPOIL men with their over tolerance by spikedcylinder: 8:47am On Sep 15, 2008
If you act dumb and silly BEFORE he marries you, why would you complain when he treats you like crap afterwards? undecided
Re: Nigerian Women SPOIL men with their over tolerance by olusky(m): 8:52am On Sep 15, 2008
As a Nigerian guy, let me say that not all men are like that. Some of us love our women and treat them like the QUEEN that they are. DATS THE HONEST TRUTH.
Re: Nigerian Women SPOIL men with their over tolerance by stevegrant: 8:57am On Sep 15, 2008
a woman must not play foolishness or pretend to be silly in order to win the heart of a man.besides no right thinking man would like to marry a foolish or a silly wife.personally i think there is no need for pretense once two parties are in a courtship.each person needs to showcase his/her true color cos marriage is an institution of compromise.no one has everything quality that is needed in marriage.we all have to compromise.And this is only what true LOVE can do.[color=#000099][/color]
Re: Nigerian Women SPOIL men with their over tolerance by Ujujoan(f): 8:58am On Sep 15, 2008
This poster’s a joker. I can’t believe she’d actually defend that crappy article. It’s a pity we Nigerians always think the worst of ourselves. Women are being marginalized, everywhere in the world. All those stories about Nigerians taking crap is strictly restricted to illiterates and people with low self esteem. And that too is not just here in Nigeria, all over the world.

I totally agree with Onyinye. There’s no reason to do crazy things or stay in an abusive r/ship. Maybe if you are gullible or desperate, yes. But a right thinking woman knows she should walk if a guy doesn’t treat her right. Cos if he can’t get it right now, it’s only going to get worse later law of diminishing return  cheesy
Re: Nigerian Women SPOIL men with their over tolerance by hayo(m): 9:14am On Sep 15, 2008
Well the World is fast changing. In the beginning - a man takes care of his home solely without his wife having to work. In those days - there were only menial jobs requiring stamina. Men were Lords then. A man goes to work in the farms and later in the Mines early in the morning before his family wakes up. The wife earnestly prays for his return everyday and waits for him at the door. She was also working at home taking care of the kids, doing laundry, e.t.c. But when he comes - she doesn't complain if with his sweaty body he tries making love to her 'because she is grateful he is exposing himself to so much danger daily to take care of his family.
As the days go by; wars were fought - homes become fatherless. Mothers had to raise the children alone and values started changing as the boys were raised without proper role models. Models of men who toiled and worked hard to fend for their families. Now, a new generation started coming up. Alas, technology improved things and the knowledge economy debuts. Women did not need to suffer again. They can also work and earn better salaries than even men. The good jobs are those done with brains and not brawn. The problem is now glaring. Does the present day man understand he is not in the 19th century again? Does he know that his traditional role as bread winner has been eroded? Is he aware that a home will do well financially without him? Does he understand that his new role is now different? No to the above questions. It is a big problem 'because a woman needs a man now not necessarily for his finances but to provide leadership, love and cherish her as well as the kids. To serve as a role model and not a shouting lion in the house. But most men are yet to wake up to this reality and are still living in the past. Women who cannot understand why these men are not aware of their needs now ultimately resolve to being single mothers and some don't even bother to marry again but have a child or more.
We know the consequences of these actions and the effect on our society. Dysfunctional children being raised here and there. I am married (recently) and I promised God I will not be like those men - but be the man God wants me to be. One who loves his wife without pushing her around. I respect her as my partner and help mate. We are friends - I will not cheat on her because I will offend God and her. I will also ensure our kids are raised in a lovely home. And I am a Nigerian man - proudly so! The problems I mentioned above are not Nigerian - they are linked to the entire human race. It is only when men understand their purpose that this will stop. Lets face the real issues and stop pointing fingers at abstracts - a man is a man wherever he comes from. The solution is to become real men as God wants. Sorry if this is a bit long,  I cry sometimes when I see the effect of these abnormalities on our societies.
Re: Nigerian Women SPOIL men with their over tolerance by carmelily: 10:06am On Sep 15, 2008
@ poster
The article you quoted said islamic value.

Are you saying everyone in Nigeria is a moslem?
Less than half are moslems

@agaba123. what the article said was:

The [b]traditional [/b]and Islamic systems of polygamy flourish within every social class.

and yes, our traditional system supports polygamy and so you'll find even pastors having more than one wife.

@topic
I honestly don't find anything false in the article. no, not one. The thing is, the same rules (with the possible exceptions of polygamy, inheritance  and thirst for a male child) apply in the US, Brazil (yes, Brazil), the UK and all over the world. Watch any random Dr. Phil or Oprah for details. Worse still, the average whiteman seems to have a drinking problem as well grin

Women abroad simply learnt to speak out and so things are beginning to change for them. Nigerian women should do the same.

Bottom line, if you don't stand up for yourself as a woman (or even a man), you'll get what you deserve! cheesy
Re: Nigerian Women SPOIL men with their over tolerance by JustGood(m): 10:08am On Sep 15, 2008
Ujujoan:

This poster’s a joker. I can’t believe she’d actually defend that crappy article. It’s a pity we Nigerians always think the worst of ourselves. Women are being marginalized, everywhere in the world. All those stories about Nigerians taking crap is strictly restricted to illiterates and people with low self esteem. And that too is not just here in Nigeria, all over the world.

I totally agree with Onyinye. There’s no reason to do crazy things or stay in an abusive r/ship. Maybe if you are gullible or desperate, yes. But a right thinking woman knows she should walk if a guy doesn’t treat her right. Cos if he can’t get it right now, it’s only going to get worse later law of diminishing return  cheesy

Make God bless you ma sister.

This poster na frustrated woman wey never get 9ja guy. I wonder why she so desperately wants a 9ja guy in spite of all the negative things she believes of the 9ja man. It's time some of our proper women stand up and speak. . . not women who cant find husbands and are bitter.
Too many women here talk from bad experiences and I cant blame them but proper women are in their husbands homes being good wives, not  coming online to debase their men. Women wey no sabi behave well to have stable homes should go and learn from those who are successfully in stable homes rather than pointing to Nigerian men as evil. Who hold una not to follow men from other countries sef?

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