to marry naija man no be by force. if any lady feels the nigerian man is not good enough for her, you're free to go ahead and marry any foreigner. Gbam!!!

nzeaji:

to marry naija man no be by force. if any lady feels the nigerian man is not good enough for her, you're free to go ahead and marry any foreigner. Gbam!!!

i wonder oo!

Now lets see how your Men are viewed, go through this people.

http://www.gringoes.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=1937&PN=6    

Pay attention to mrpto's posts

"I know all to well the way they are raised. they are born losers that amount to nothing, that's why brazilian women run, if

they have the chance to marry someone else they will."


"My ex too was deceptive, distant, unsupportive, irresponsible & as Denise said they have this cord attachment to their

mom's or family & feel that their loyalty is to them & not their wive's, their unsupportive, etc. Their wives & everything else

comes second, etc." Do i hear the pot calling the kettle black ?


"Just like corruptionm, it exists everywhere, but it's not the norm, it's the exception just like in the u.s.a.  Whereas in brazil

it is the norm & not the exception, i have even seen situations where the women work, buy their men cars,etc. and they

don't even require that their men look for work, they will take care of their men., they rather do that then be without a

man, since they are are hard to come by"  


and this

http://www.collegenet.com/elect/app/app?service=external/Forum&sp=14582

"I have heard this kind of thing before, different cultures treat men differently and they love it. Many countries in South

America treat the women differently - all they do is serve the men. That's their culture."  

"One guy was like when you go in the club these beautiful carmel skin women just float around him. He says that when your with them they cook, clean and fulfil every sexual desire."

@ simi, so what was your argument ?

@ Angelheart, Swtie go ahead and marry Brazilian no need 2 fight over it abi ? btw when was the last time u were in Naija? You've really lost touch.

chase, bless you for that.
simibrasil, please go and meet Brazillian men

Angel whatever

Believe me, I would rather do that that marry a Nigerian man!

If that's your pic, Nigerian men are better off without people like you; especially at that age and still single. Where are all the foreign men who have been using and dumping you?

JustGood:

Angel whatever

If that's your pic, Nigerian men are better off without people like you; especially at that age and still single. Where are all the foreign men who have been using and dumping you? 

Whatever you say man!! You need to visit Specksavers! What age??  Did you just call me single? I just laugh!! I will still stick to my word, some Nigerian men are just too nasty! Ure so defensive! Could you be one of them??

SimiBrasil:

The Nigerian institution of marriage is unconventional by western standards. The traditional and Islamic systems of polygamy flourish within every social class. Women expect very little from men in terms of companionship, personal care, and fidelity. Their relationships exist without the emotional elements.

Polygamy is a crucial component of many women's lives. Women depend on the other wives of their husbands. The younger co-wives take on many of the household and financial responsibilities. As women get older they have the comfort of knowing that the burden of their marriage does not fall solely on their shoulders.

A woman's postion in society changes vastly once they marry since she becomes a possession, with relatively no rights in her husband's family. In fact, the husband's mother and sisters have much more of an influence over him than his own wife. The wife resents this lack of control or even respect within their marriage.

The Nigerian system of inheritance reflects the lack of male responsibility to his wife and children. If a husband dies, the woman usually receives nothing, although the law entitles her to a share. If she has no children, the treatment is worse. Since property can only pass between the same sexes, women can never inherit from their fathers.

Within marriage, women have an obligation to have children. Traditionally, society blames the woman for a marriage without children. Society not only condemns women who cannot have children, but unmarried and divorced women as well.

In recent years, the support of the co-wives has diminished. Modern developments of mandatory education, urbanization, and capitalism are changing the Nigerian society. Since 1960, educational opportunities have expanded for women. Slowly men are beginning to see the value of higher education for their wives. Now, more often than not, they send their daughters to school for an education.

this is absolutely rubbish.

it's a shame the poster didn't highlight what the nigerian men bring to the table in relationships/marriage.

most men foot all the utility bills/rents/car maintenance and pocket money for their spouses.

what do nigerian women expect? equal rights? hell to the no!

LMAO! Okay, I gotta ask. . .  the people saying this is not true, please where are you from? Surely, it is not Nigeria. . . I refuse to believe it is Nigeria. It is one thing to defend your country people but to out rightly deny something that is true, now that is just taking it too far. I mean it hilarious to see some people who have made no bones about how deeply olden days their thinking is, like the whole taking care of the children is the woman’s job, get all up in arms about this topic.

Women over-indulged men.  .  . no ifs ands or buts about it. Right from the moment they are born, men are made to believe they are first class citizens with first class rights and privileges and their female counterparts are meant to kowtow to their every whim. God forbid a male child does something as demeaning as household chores, they act like the moment he picks up a broom, his balls will fall off and becomes a woman. These over-indulged boys grow up to be over-indulged men and heaven help their wives. We needn’t look further than our movies to see perfect examples of these inane way of thinking.


When a man cheats on his wife, who do they blame? The wife, she didn’t do enough to keep him interested, not only that. . . if she mistakenly gets upset and fight, they tell her to go beg him.

When a man brings home his second wife, they tell his first wife to be glad he is still taking care of her children.

A man does something wrong, they demand the wife forgives him but when it is the woman, everyone looks the other way and tell her she brought it on herself.

If she has the guts to speak out about the shabby treatment she receives, they tell her she is embracing the western ways. . . which in Naija speak means she does not have what it takes to be a good wife.

A woman must work herself and her feelings around the man. God forbid she makes more money, there will be hell to pay. If she take one step . . . she’ll get “ is it because you make more money than me, you did your leg like that while taking that step?” She put cup on the table a certain way. . . “you did that because you make more money than I do”. To avoid this and wanting to be seen as a good wife, the woman has to find a way to minimize her worth.

A woman's ultimate goal in life, what she was expressly made for is to be the wife of a man. . . any man and the only way to achieve this goal is to be prepared to tolerate ANYTHING. . . Alcoholic, abuse, cheat, uncaring, greedy, tight-fisted, drug addict. . .anything, she better get ready to chin up and take it like a woman, as long as she is Lagbaja's wife.

A woman who is married and allows herself to abused physically and Pyschologically, lives in misery and is ready to forego anything remotely close to peace is worth more than a single woman who is happy, at peace with herself and enjoying life and if the former gets the opportunity to die at her husband's hands. . . Oh my sainthood, nya ju ni! This is what women are being brainwashed to believe.

You know what, I think I miswrote earlier when I said we needn’t look no further than our movie. . . please ignore that, using movie is actually going too far. One click on the romance section will tell you all you need to know, I beg you to start with the topic about why it is not okay for a man to be shorter than a woman. . . Lmao! Yep, a woman’s God given height is now a problem. Thank goodness, people don’t have control over that or some women will be hacking their own legs away. On second thoughts, compared to the complexes some tall women might get from reading that crap, which make them willing to take anything, maybe hacking isn’t so bad.

I say look at the relationship a man has with female members of his family for a preview of what you life with him will be like. If they treat him like a king, like he is the best thing  since sliced bread. . . I’ll advice you to turn to your heels and run. If he is treated just like another human being who just happens to be a guy, hold on for your dear life. . . I beg you hold on. I’m grateful my mom didn’t allow her 4 boys to think the world and all its female inhabitants is their footstool. . . an act my sister in laws are enjoying right now. Coolio

angelheart i think u r pretty

Biolabe, thank you luv,, This Good-for-nothing fellais just hating.

.

@ Sisikil. Girl, you said a cotton-pickin' mouthful! Bang on point. Who no like make e go jump inside river.

The article quoted here specifically talked of Islamic Women.
Less than half of the Nigerian women population are in that category
and for those who are,I can imagine that most educated Yoruba muslim women are no longer settling for the co wife/Pe'nis sharing  nonsense.

I must add that anywoman that allows her husband to bring in other wives in this day and age is plain stupid
and anyone that's willing to be a second or third wife is even more stupid.

Siena:

The angry, defensive responses to the poster's thread just go to reinforce what we all know to be true.
Anyone that agrees either gets shouted down, or insulted.

Sisikil, Angelheart and a few others however, have the right attitude, and can see things the way they truly are.

You can say that again SIena. Its either they are guilty of being abusive or are just plain ignorant. Moreover, this happens to be a 'NIGERIAN' forum right? So, do you want us to come in here and start talking about SOuth African and Brazilian men? Go to the respective forums and surely, that would be most relevant! People should just stick to the topic and defend/attack it (topic) rather than getting personal. That's a weakness and it only shows how some people cannot argure here!!

Sisikill:

LMAO! Okay, I gotta ask. . .  the people saying this is not true, please where are you from? Surely, it is not Nigeria. . . I refuse to believe it is Nigeria. It is one thing to defend your country people but to out rightly deny something that is true, now that is just taking it too far. I mean it hilarious to see some people who have made no bones about how deeply olden days their thinking is, like the whole taking care of the children is the woman’s job, get all up in arms about this topic.

Women over-indulged men.  .  . no ifs ands or buts about it. Right from the moment they are born, men are made to believe they are first class citizens with first class rights and privileges and their female counterparts are meant to kowtow to their every whim. God forbid a male child does something as demeaning as household chores, they act like the moment he picks up a broom, his balls will fall off and becomes a woman. These over-indulged boys grow up to be over-indulged men and heaven help their wives. We needn’t look further than our movies to see perfect examples of these inane way of thinking.


When a man cheats on his wife, who do they blame? The wife, she didn’t do enough to keep him interested, not only that. . . if she mistakenly gets upset and fight, they tell her to go beg him.

When a man brings home his second wife, they tell his first wife to be glad he is still taking care of her children.

A man does something wrong, they demand the wife forgives him but when it is the woman, everyone looks the other way and tell her she brought it on herself.

If she has the guts to speak out about the shabby treatment she receives, they tell her she is embracing the western ways. . . which in Naija speak means she does not have what it takes to be a good wife.

A woman must work herself and her feelings around the man. God forbid she makes more money, there will be hell to pay. If she take one step . . . she’ll get “ is it because you make more money than me, you did your leg like that while taking that step?” She put cup on the table a certain way. . . “you did that because you make more money than I do”. To avoid this and wanting to be seen as a good wife, the woman has to find a way to minimize her worth.

A woman's ultimate goal in life, what she was expressly made for is to be the wife of a man. . . any man and the only way to achieve this goal is to be prepared to tolerate ANYTHING. . . Alcoholic, abuse, cheat, uncaring, greedy, tight-fisted, drug addictanything, she better get ready to chin up and take it like a woman, as long as she is Lagbaja's wife.

A woman who is married and allows herself to abused physically and Pyschologically, lives in misery and is ready to forego anything remotely close to peace is worth more than a single woman who is happy, at peace with herself and enjoying life and if the former gets the opportunity to die at her husband's hands. . . Oh my sainthood, nya ju ni! This is what women are being brainwashed to believe.

You know what, I think I miswrote earlier when I said we needn’t look no further than our movie. . . please ignore that, using movie is actually going too far. One click on the romance section will tell you all you need to know, I beg you to start with the topic about why it is not okay for a man to be shorter than a woman. . . Lmao! Yep, a woman’s God given height is now a problem. Thank goodness, people don’t have control over that or some women will be hacking their own legs away. On second thoughts, compared to the complexes some tall women might get from reading that crap, which make them willing to take anything, maybe hacking isn’t so bad.

I say look at the relationship a man has with female members of his family for a preview of what you life with him will be like. If they treat him like a king, like he is the best thing  since sliced bread. . . I’ll advice you to turn to your heels and run. If he is treated just like another human being who just happens to be a guy, hold on for your dear life. . . I beg you hold on. I’m grateful my mom didn’t allow her 4 boys to think the world and all its female inhabitants is their footstool. . . an act my sister in laws are enjoying right now. Coolio

You are so right.
This is why I believe the word "housewife" ought to be thrown out the window.
Any woman without an income outside of the home should be beaten upside the head.
You should never give that much power to anyone.
Because you may be stuck if your prince turns out to be a toad

Siena:

The angry, defensive responses to the poster's thread just go to reinforce what we all know to be true.
Anyone that agrees either gets shouted down, or insulted.

Sisikil, Angelheart and a few others however, have the right attitude, and can see things the way they truly are.

Great! Whoever agrees with you is good and anyone who disagrees has to be stupid.

Mr know all

Sisiskill made a GREAT point jare.

All you really need to do is go the Romance section and see some of the threads there, and the poster's point is proven already. Everyone here that is taking it personally is not being objective. nigerians hate being told of their faults by outsiders. Instead they're doing the childish thing and going to look for posts on Brazilian men. Seriously?

Queenisha:

The article quoted here specifically talked of Islamic Women.
Less than half of the Nigerian women population are in that category
and for those who are,I can imagine that most educated Yoruba muslim women are no longer settling for the co wife/Pe'nis sharing  nonsense.

I must add that anywoman that allows her husband to bring in other wives in this day and age is plain stupid
and anyone that's willing to be a second or third wife is even more stupid.

Thank you jare. I dont know where they see any nonsense practice in present day Nigeria. Maybe they are from damaged backgrounds themselves

hanen:

Sisiskill made a GREAT point jare.

All you really need to do is go the Romance section and see some of the threads there, and the poster's point is proven already. Everyone here that is taking it personally is not being objective. nigerians hate being told of their faults by outsiders. Instead they're doing the childish thing and going to look for posts on Brazilian men. Seriously?

Is it Nigerian men that are like that or men in general? It's stupid to ascribe what is generally obtainable to Nigerians only.

Where I know in the UK, there are several women who allow their men to treat them like rubbish because the men are the way they are and the women are the way they are. it's not a Nigerian thing.

I don't agree with the poster saying it's Nigerian women that take nonesense. Shit happens everywhere and I know a good number of bad ass women that won't take shit from any man and they are Nigerians.

[/quote][quote author=Sisikill link=topic=170112.msg2805099#msg2805099 date=1221493086] I beg you hold on. I’m grateful my mom didn’t allow her 4 boys to think the world and all its female inhabitants is their footstool. . . an act my sister in laws are enjoying right now. Coolio

touche
In my mothers house if any of my 5 brothers acted up they would know what was what and still would now I imagine even in their own houses.

The way most male children are raised in Nigeria is the problem.

lol I would like to see anyone enter my fathers compound and tell my mother that somthing/ anything is " Women's work", or "women don't, "

i'm no more sure dis is nairaland

some of d nigerians in foreignlands seems to be havin a shift in mentality
- someone tinkinnaija women are slave-like, this is very funny compared to what i'm witnessing first-hand

@ poster
Are u still reading?
I think what U wrote is a general thing, I mean men irrespective of their country, race or religion.
It's our tradition for men to marry more than 1 wife and the Muslim's custom to marry up to four wives( he is to luv them equally).
In the western world men marry and divorce their wives and remarry. This is almost same but there is only one wife in the house at a time  not 2 or more.
Nigerian Women are taught they are meant to marry and have children, is this not normal? Naturally women have that instinct to have children.
In my family we have few men with foreign wives, Women in my family are free to achieve what they want to achieve, even the married ones.
Women especially Yoruba women receive inheritance from their fathers, and they are shared according to their position in the family. I know families where they have time tables of house chores, including the males in the family.
Am not denying all what u wrote, We always have exceptions to the trend, but still ur post is not the general trend.

Arguments of Over Generalisation
I just wanted to read the post look at replies and get over it but NO. . . . .
Why would anyone think of men in this manner?
In this modern age?
When things are getting thicker?
And the ladies seem to be tightening up?
HELL NO!!!!!!!!!!!

Simi,
I quite agree with you that men love to be in control
I also agree that men love massaged ego and over bloated praise singing
I also agree that in nature, we are monogamous. But its not like that for EVERY MAN.
I hate to see myself over my wife or my GF. One thing i do love to see in a woman i want to spend the rest of my life with
Is that Independence of thought. There MUST be a general consensus before most issue are taken up or at least the superior argument carries the day.
Any woman who loves to be kicked about will definitely be kicked about.
I can't blame the women any much but also i try to see things from the angle that much as men do love to be randy,
Its more as a result of mischief than nature, else ehy eill he beg when he's caught.
If you get a woman who you know her real worth, u will ever enjoy working with her even if it mean washing the undies together

Nigerian men are not all that bad. Some are but a very good number have re-orientated their values.

.

Una see the hazard of watching misinformative home movies ba? And to add to that, the dailies one reads online about Ngr gives ppl the impression Ngr is burning as we speak (PH dey smoke sha). Culmulatively, these paint a negative picture of the country especially when one has been "missing in action" for long.
To the Ngrn Man issue: Na wetin poster want make person do naa? Make we begin to dey boil frogs abi make the women migrate go find MAN for Brazil?
Go and try your luck in Niger, Saudi or Afghanistan!

tollu:

I don't agree with the poster saying it's Nigerian women that take nonesense. Shit happens everywhere and I know a good number of bad ass women that won't take shit from any man and they are Nigerians.

Thank you madam, Would you please explain again what you just said to the undecided people here

SimiBrasil:

As you demand, here it goes

Google

Women in Nigeria Today - [ Traduzir esta página ]The Nigerian institution of marriage is unconventional by western standards. The traditional and Islamic systems of polygamy flourish within every social ,
www.usp.nus.edu.sg/post/nigeria/contwomen.html - 6k - Em cache - Páginas Semelhantes

http://www.usp.nus.edu.sg/post/nigeria/contwomen.html

Women in Nigeria Today
Alyssa Qualls

THE PROBLEM IS NOT NIGERIAN MEN, THE PROBLEM IS "YOU" - NIGERIAN WOMEN, Y STILL DIDNT GET THE BOTTOM LINE OF THE ISSUE.

Are you satisfied now ?

Within marriage, women have an obligation to have children. Traditionally, society blames the woman for a marriage without children. Society not only condemns women who cannot have children, but unmarried and divorced women as well.

Open your mouth if you are woman to tell me it is rubbish, lie or whatever !

'
I can see that neither you 'simibrasil' nor the original writer 'Alyssa Qualls' of the link that you quoted is learned about Nigerian culture. I would suggest you research your details very well before posting next time. Nigeria is a diverse nation and on this forum you can learn about it if you care.

sure look at saudi! they call that islam thats not islam women are treated in [i]some[/i]ways better than african women. On antoher note, According to islam a woman is entitled to a quarter of the property wonder what the position on this is in Nigeria regardless of religion etc ie what is the legal position on inheritance?

I heard that a woman get none as she is considered to be apart of the property is that true?

Seriously! its so bad, the stories I have heard is so heartbreaking. Thankfully there are some naija guys like sisikill and Siena. Please educate your brothers on how to treat fellow human beings.

@poster: Are you sure you're in 2008 with us? cux that crap sound like something from 1932

For those of you guys(ladies in this context) who have been out of Naija for sometime I think I am beginning to sense

something here. It is like it makes you feel good to put everything Nigeria down and in a bad light, Talk about our men as if

they are some mannerless apes, that way you somehow feel good about where you are and also feel like you are not

missing out on anything there. GO AHEAD AND SAY S*^T ABOUT US IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL ANY BETTER. 


@ hanen:

"Instead they're doing the childish thing and going to look for posts on Brazilian men. Seriously?"   Are you kidding me ?

Don't tell me you didn't get my point, go through Simibrasil's post again and see how she made this look like a Nigerian

problem. I used Brazilian men to drive it home and make her and all of you Nigerian men haters see that this is a Global

problem, or would you rather we talked about Italian men ? I hope now you get this into that sexist brain of yours, child.