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12 Types Of Slap - Jokes Etc - Nairaland

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12 Types Of Slap by Bantino(m): 8:17pm On Jun 27, 2014
Hahahahaaaaa

TYPES OF SLAPS

1. TAKE AWAY SLAP: When someone gives you a dirty slap and all you can do is hold your
face and walk away.



2. RESOUNDING SLAP: This is after you are hit, you keep on hearing some funny sounds in
your brain like"wiiiiiiiiiii"! And voices in your head will start singing Christmas Carol.



3. FORMATTING SLAP: This is the slap that makes someone forget instantly what he or she
was doing. You find yourself asking questions like,"What did I do?"



4. EXPLANATION SLAP: When someone gives you this kind of slap, you find yourself explaining the situation to the nearest person on your own accord e.g. Bros! Are you watching? I didn't do anything o!



5. FIXED DEPOSIT SLAP: When you receive this kind of slap, all you will do is just stand right
where you are and watch the person walk away with your mouth opened widely.



6. RHETORICAL SLAP: The moment you download this slap, you start asking questions that don't need reply. Like,"John,YOU SLAPPED ME?!"



7. SWEET SLAP: This is the type of slap a boy/girl gives you sweetly on your cheek and hether it's painful or not, you start blushing.



8. MATHEMATICAL SLAP: This simply has to do with the physical reconstruction of your face
when given to you; the length of your face will be raised to power two, your eye socket will calculate its circumference.



9. CHERUBIM AND SERAPHIM SLAP: When you receive this slap (it proves effective when it's
given to you all of a sudden),you will be able to combine and speak all sort of languages same time like Spanish,Greek, Arabic, Hindu, etc



10. COLOUR RIOT AND BIRDING SLAP: You will start seeing different colours and your head will turn to a nest whilst the birds will be flying all around you.



11. RETURN LEG/RECIPROCAL SLAP: It's the type of slap when someone slaps you and you return
the slap immediately...



12. MILITARY/BOKO HARAM SLAP: Once this slap lands on your face, you will start urinating on
your clothe.

Share the kind of slap you've received before

103 Likes

Re: 12 Types Of Slap by CharlieMaria(m): 10:25am On Jul 29, 2014
Ftc things.

Dancing on top transformer. grin grin grin grin grin

4 Likes

Re: 12 Types Of Slap by mcevans1(m): 10:26am On Jul 29, 2014
Hunchback slap angry

1 Like

Re: 12 Types Of Slap by benuejosh: 10:26am On Jul 29, 2014
dialing MTN, for those who have tested a police cell can explain better

1 Like

Re: 12 Types Of Slap by Olucheye(m): 10:26am On Jul 29, 2014
Yoruba mothers produce the best range of slaps.

These slaps will make you think you were adopted or bought with a price.

IGBATI (Face Slap) : this will make you correct your wrong immediately!

The beauty of IFOTI is, you will confess your sins on the spot.

IGBAJUN (Same As Ifoti & Igbati) , IGBARUN & IFORUN (Neck Slap) will make you expose those who committed the crime with you without hesitation.

ILADI (Buttock Slap): will make you pee in your new pants!

Now ABARA (Random Back Slap): this is the worst of it all because it comes randomly on you, anywhere on back.

And apart from IGBAJU, we have a more advanced one which is;

IGBAJU OLOYI (Cheek slap that turns you 360°, it makes you see stars). When you receive this one, you will lose balance and your head will go into auto-search as you will be looking for what hit you. This will make you do all the actions of the other slaps above at once. You will even confess what you never did. Also, it can reset one to 3D (Deaf, Daft and Dumb).


With Love From Oduduwa Nation.

163 Likes 2 Shares

Re: 12 Types Of Slap by Descartes: 10:27am On Jul 29, 2014
cheesy grin

1 Like

Re: 12 Types Of Slap by natureblack(m): 10:27am On Jul 29, 2014
Back-hand slap

7 Likes

Re: 12 Types Of Slap by alentyno: 10:27am On Jul 29, 2014
Lawd! Frontpage after 3 comments? And for this joke of a topic? Guys how am I not sure nairaland has been systematically hacked lately or a coup on the mods has been carried out
Smh

3 Likes

Re: 12 Types Of Slap by Nobody: 10:27am On Jul 29, 2014
Shoutout to my mum!she can produce the best range of slaps in the world..also shoutout to the nigerian army;slapping and causing partial deafness to civilians since 1900..one army colonel slap me last year;i didnt feel the pain till 10pm that night;as i was sleeping i felt one sharp pain for my eardrum..my ear just dey whistle..na so i shout jump up!beware of those guys ooo..

28 Likes

Re: 12 Types Of Slap by koreat(m): 10:27am On Jul 29, 2014
Internet SLAP

1 Like

Re: 12 Types Of Slap by Felixitie(m): 10:27am On Jul 29, 2014
Rainbow slap

1 Like

Re: 12 Types Of Slap by amnestylaw1(m): 10:27am On Jul 29, 2014
I think I have been given the sweet slap before. Guess who gave me? My mom, in the presence of my friends and I was blushing for being disgraced. That was when we were forming HOME BOYS.

1 Like

Re: 12 Types Of Slap by Regiblinkz(m): 10:28am On Jul 29, 2014
And it made front page...#Nairaland is a joke

1 Like

Re: 12 Types Of Slap by Nobody: 10:28am On Jul 29, 2014
I just told my friends about Nairaland and they visited... The first topic they see is "Types of Slap"!!! So much for best forum in Nigeria. Welldone Seun. Nor be u i blame.

18 Likes

Re: 12 Types Of Slap by Dygeasy(m): 10:28am On Jul 29, 2014
THIS IS ALL I HAVE SLAP: When someone gives you this type of slap on your street around 8pm, you drop your phone, money and everything on you. You go still dey beg make the 'slapper' no vex say you no too get much at that moment.

37 Likes

Re: 12 Types Of Slap by DRealGeesam(m): 10:28am On Jul 29, 2014
#hisses#
Mtchewww

1 Like

Re: 12 Types Of Slap by GARRIWARLORD(m): 10:28am On Jul 29, 2014
Vegetarian slap:: That type wey dey make person chop grass!

10 Likes

Re: 12 Types Of Slap by alentyno: 10:28am On Jul 29, 2014
CharlieMaria: Ftc things.

Dancing on top transformer. grin grin grin grin grin
So you want to celebrate by committing suicide?
Transformer ke?
Re: 12 Types Of Slap by natureblack(m): 10:29am On Jul 29, 2014
Soldier-man slap

Especially the one wey dey high on monkey-tail
Re: 12 Types Of Slap by GAZZUZZ(m): 10:29am On Jul 29, 2014
Nairaland is becoming a joke.

2 Likes

Re: 12 Types Of Slap by xynerise: 10:29am On Jul 29, 2014
Epileptic Slap: The kind of slap pastors give. When you get this slap you start rolling on the floor

4 Likes

Re: 12 Types Of Slap by Alexgeneration(m): 10:29am On Jul 29, 2014
DIRTY SLAP = This kind of slap is used when you miss behave around my mum, she will dish it out to you, to format your brain to default. Thus bringing you back to your senses.
Re: 12 Types Of Slap by Dygeasy(m): 10:29am On Jul 29, 2014
PEEING SLAP: The kind of slap that makes your two legs shake and some hot liquid trickles down your leg.

4 Likes

Re: 12 Types Of Slap by Uchenna42(m): 10:29am On Jul 29, 2014
Old Joke
Re: 12 Types Of Slap by xkobans: 10:29am On Jul 29, 2014
My dreams and hope for a better Nigeria. A country where hardwork is rewarded, a country where corruption, nepotism, tribalism, favouritism and unfair advantages are void of. A country where that young child wakes up in the creeks of the least developed regions in the southwest or northwest and has hopes for a better future. A country where the true value of humanity is respected. A country where your religion isn't used as a tool for destruction of human lives and deterioration of an already endangered resources. A country where a progressive Nigerian state is prioritised over selfishness and greedy personal interest.
We are Nigerians and we can make it work. I know it's a long shot and may even seem impossible and risky. Keep believing. Keep doing the right thing. Be proud of who you are.

3 Likes

Re: 12 Types Of Slap by UrbanMystique: 10:29am On Jul 29, 2014
Hatrick slap
Re: 12 Types Of Slap by Akshow: 10:30am On Jul 29, 2014
ifoti oloyi dizziness slap.
Re: 12 Types Of Slap by Nethazard(m): 10:30am On Jul 29, 2014
Mehn these slapz toh bad!
slapz that changes your eye color to RED!

2 Likes

Re: 12 Types Of Slap by Joejonah(m): 10:30am On Jul 29, 2014
lol.
Re: 12 Types Of Slap by overhypedsteve(m): 10:31am On Jul 29, 2014
I remember the one way them slap one of my guy for eye, after two weeks the guy still dey ask me say why everywere dey red.

29 Likes

Re: 12 Types Of Slap by XVIER(m): 10:31am On Jul 29, 2014
BREASTing slap:- its usually used on female by slapping their chest.
Re: 12 Types Of Slap by Nobody: 10:31am On Jul 29, 2014
Op its call kirikiri star (tiny tiny Stars) and not rainbow slap.

1 Like

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