I am 29yrs old and working with one of the telecoms company. i have been in a relationship with him over one yr and 7months now. he is so caring, adoring and also has a kind heart, always there when i need him financially and otherwise, he spent most of his free time with me and so do I, in several ocation i his mum has met me in his house but he has not for once introduce me to her. Buth He has never discussed anything like future with me and i have in more than four times ask him to define the relationship to enable me know my stand, if there is tomorrow or not, each time i ask, he always tell me he knows what he is doing, and also because of this i havent been able to open up for another relationship because i hate double dating.
Meanwhile i Have this two guys, one my girl friend introduced him to me for marriage, the other met me in the office, and all along he has been talking of marriage over 8months now. The pressure from home also is much together with this guys who wants me to date/court them. And of recent wen i ask him on same issue what exactly we are doing. "He told me a story of a man who went to the market to buy ugba, reaching to the market he saw 10 people selling the ugba, the man tested from the first seller to the last seller and found out that it has same taste, and bacame confuse. that who do i think the man will buy the ugba from". He ask me to sleep over it. And has never answered me over a week now.
I love this guy and dont know what to do.

Your kind advise will help tremendiously.

thanks.

What is ugba?

"There's fire on the mountain, run run" maybe he doesn't want to take it to the next level with you since you have asked severally and he gives you the same answer. If, you really want to know what your guy thinks about you, just give him serious space, dont visit him or call him, make your self unavailable and see if he will even notice. He might be serious though but his attitude is saying a different thing especially with that story, that he's always there for you doesn't mean he wants to be committed or something some guys are jerks. They can be there for 10 different girls and you will think all is well not knowing his heart lays with other. Now, been open minded doesn't mean you are double dating. You can get to know a guy without getting emotional attached. Nne, you have to be smart cause you may decide to wait and see what happens and at the end of the day, you loose and you may also decide to wait and gain so I advice, you prayerfully decide what to do then back it up with actions

wtn be ugba?

iphygift: I am 29yrs old and working with one of the telecoms company. i have been in a relationship with him over one yr and 7months now. he is so caring, adoring and also has a kind heart, always there when i need him financially and otherwise, he spent most of his free time with me and so do I, in several ocation i his mum has met me in his house but he has not for once introduce me to her. Buth He has never discussed anything like future with me and i have in more than four times ask him to define the relationship to enable me know my stand, if there is tomorrow or not, each time i ask, he always tell me he knows what he is doing, and also because of this i havent been able to open up for another relationship because i hate double dating.
Meanwhile i Have this two guys, one my girl friend introduced him to me for marriage, the other met me in the office, and all along he has been talking of marriage over 8months now. The pressure from home also is much together with this guys who wants me to date/court them. And of recent wen i ask him on same issue what exactly we are doing. "He told me a story of a man who went to the market to buy ugba, reaching to the market he saw 10 people selling the ugba, the man tested from the first seller to the last seller and found out that it has same taste, and bacame confuse. that who do i think the man will buy the ugba from". He ask me to sleep over it. And has never answered me over a week now.
I love this guy and dont know what to do.

Your kind advise will help tremendiously.

thanks.

Ehh! The guy has multiple girlfriends n he's confused on who to choose as his wife. Men! You bera find your way b4 its too late

well like ammy said just give him space and see his reactions, don't pick his call , reply his message or see him for at least a week then see his reaction , these kind of men will just waste your precious time and end up getting married to someone else , he's not straightforward so suspect him.

Just start dating those other guys who are asking you out. Don't hide it from him and if he asks you, tell him you don't know what you guys are doing, you'd like to get married to someone who wants same and you just don't want to put any pressure on him.

He is not your husband,has no claims on you and seems uninterested in claiming you,you don't need his permission to do what is right for YOU.

Don't let him waste your time waiting for him to choose you when you may not be his "the one".

Nairaland is back.

andromida: Just start dating those other guys who are asking you out. Don't hide it from him and if he asks you, tell him you don't know what you guys are doing, you'd like to get married to someone who wants same and you just don't want to put any pressure on him.

He is not your husband,has no claims on you and seems uninterested in claiming you,you don't need his permission to do what is right for YOU.

Don't let him waste your time waiting for him to choose you when you may not be his "the one".

Nairaland is back.

I have once told him that there are some people asking for my hand in marriage, and all he did was reacted bad and ask me to give him time. But that was december last year, we had a little argument, he told me that am treatning him with marriage with other guys.

Babe, move on! That guy is just sampling you and 10 other ladies b4 you know what's happening you're too old to be wooed. My 1cent!

iphygift: I have once told him that there are some people asking for my hand in marriage, and all he did was reacted bad and ask me to give him time. But that was december last year, we had a little argument, he told me that am treatning him with marriage with other guys.

Well you have given him time and he is not interested in making you happy. He is still searching and you are his back girl just in case he does not find what he truly wants.

From this second on consider him a friend only and start dating other guys. Your heart and body must be out of his reach.

Believe in yourself and this is the truth there are men who will be happy to make you wifey and you will be happy to have them as husband as well but you need to remove yourself from the backup plan and open your heart.

andromida:

Well you have given him time and he is not interested in making you happy. He is still searching and you are his back girl just in case he does not find what he truly wants.

From this second on consider him a friend only and start dating other guys. Your heart and body must be out of his reach.

Believe in yourself and this is the truth there are men who will be happy to make you wifey and you will be happy to have them as husband as well but you need to remove yourself from the backup plan and open your heart.

Thank you a lot...

iphygift: Thank you a lot...

You are welcome.

Odunharry: wtn be ugba?

Oil bean.

Its an igbo delicacy.

I dont have a kind advice or any to give at all, but I have the truth to tell. Your boyfriend is the man who went to the market to buy ugba. He has tasted, is still tasting from different sellers, as such, he finds himself confused as to the one to 'wife'.

That is the meaning of his riddle.

At 29 you should not be in a relationship that is not properly defined after 6 months. If the guy is finding it exceedingly difficult to define the relationship then it only implies that he is not exactly satisfied with you. Like he suggested, he has other ladies, he is also looking at.

As much as I agree with his idea of choosing from a 'pool', I totally abhor his approach to it. It is quite selfish to be in a relationship and have a 'pool' at the same time. He just wants to eat his cake and have it. If he wants a 'pool' then he should not be in any relationship, like the one he is keeping with you.

You seem to have been quite open with him but he seem not to have been very open to you. I think (from the little I know) that you deserve better. At least no one deserves to be kept in the dark, especially when it concerns a serious relationship.

As it is now, you really do not have control over what he does, but one thing you have control over is how you proceed with the relationship. I won't advice. You to 'test' him by not picking his calls or replying his texts (I think that is a bit childish; imo). I will suggest that you act dignified. Let him know that you are taking a walk if he is bent on 'playing this game'. At least one less 'Ugba seller' would help him narrow his choices.