evegran: I'm guessing your idea of "arrogant" here means a woman with confidence or one who actually has a mind of her own? A woman who tells her husband when he's doing something wrong and doesn't just sit back and swallow all his BS? Funny! Majority of African men actually just want a puppet as a wife. Its 2014, now a man actually has to listen to his wife for that marriage to work. That's why there should be courtship before marriage, where they both get to spend time together and understand each other better and figure out if they're right for each other and NOT just rush into the marriage. Marriage should 50/50.

You get it wrong friend, what kind of man want to a puppet as wife? That must be a man of ages, a woman can not be arrogant and also be submissive, even in modern part of the world Marriage is not 50/50 in a real life, its only on imagination.

There is high percentage that the marriage will hit rock if the woman did not show submissiveness and the man fail to Show love.

submission is d baba
all people that were saying love,if they are in relation they will want 2 control their husband/wife
both parties most subsmitted 2 each other

wazobia_for_u:


You get it wrong friend, what kind of man want to a puppet as wife? That must be a man of ages, a woman can not be arrogant and also be submissive, even in modern part of the world Marriage is not 50/50 in a real life, its only on imagination.

There is high percentage that the marriage will hit rock if the woman did not show submissiveness and the man fail to Show love.

well good to know you don't want a puppet as a wife, however a lot of men actually do. Oh and you'll be shocked some of these men are even highly educated.

evegran: what's this one saying? :-S :-/

you are too young to understand

Khalessi: Love comes first during courtship and submission must come first in marriage. It takes more than love to keep a marriage.

God bless you!

BTW IMO:
Love is not an emotion that one should automatically expect, sometimes it starts as lust, crush, infatuation, so it either grows or dwindles. And it also doesn't mean the outcome is to 'sign the doted lines.' this is an automatic reason to be pretentious and robotic.

Singing the doted lines (marriage) is a decision that is taken for other several reasons aside love, which to me might just get people a little carried away. And wen people get carried away, calling them back is not very easy.

The expectation of 'love me enough' will only always leave a lady panicky and she tends to walk on egg shells around him, he may even take it as 'submission' instead of doubt and uncertainty.

Love is when she knows he cares and will go extra miles for the relationship, even if he doesn't say it enough. That should be good enough.

Submission is letting him know you trust his judgment and you are comfortable with him making decisions IF its not disrespectful to you in anyway.

So, it is dependent on the individual actually and their kind of personalities, some people just go with the flow, whichever happens first. Love also has the tendency of making one submissive sha.

In every relationship, there's a dominant partner and a submissive one. Most times it's the guy that's dominant, and many girls find that attractive. In turn, most guys are attracted by the girl's submissiveness, which seems very feminine. It even influences the bulk of the human body language in early stages of flirting and of courting.

There has to be an establishment of dominant and submissive roles (at least on a subconscious level) before mutual love can even come into the picture. Marriage is no different.

lil max: you are too young to understand

funny! Yet I'm not the one with "lil" in my name? Funny world we live in. *catwalks away*

Oahray: In every relationship, there's a dominant partner and a submissive one. Most times it's the guy that's dominant, and many girls find that attractive. In turn, most guys are attracted by the girl's submissiveness, which seems very feminine. It even influences the bulk of the human body language in early stages of flirting and of courting.

There has to be an establishment of dominant and submissive roles (at least on a subconscious level) before mutual love can even come into the picture. Marriage is no different.

Some guys like the girls to be dominant though, they might just not say. D/S things. Some ladies are just naturally made to be Alpha-Female.
Let's face it, they are out there and their men loves them just like that.

evegran: funny! Yet I'm not the one with "lil" in my name? Funny world we live in. *catwalks away*

nice!

evegran: Exactly! I totally agree.

You are wrong,if you look at things today,men marry women with good qualifications,not those that beg to feed.Submission is a natural disposition usually matched by love.

evegran: Exactly! I totally agree.

You are wrong,if you look at things today,men marry women with good qualifications,not those that beg to feed.Submission is a natural disposition usually matched by love.

Emmaomotob: You are wrong,if you look at things today,men marry women with good qualifications,not those that beg to feed.Submission is a natural disposition usually matched by love. You are wrong,if you look at things today,men marry women with good qualifications,not those that beg to feed.Submission is a natural disposition usually matched by love.

okay! But you should say "Some men".

shoefreak:

Some guys like the girls to be dominant though, they might just not say. D/S things. Some ladies are just naturally made to be Alpha-Female.
Let's face it, they are out there and their men loves them just like that.

True. It's why I said 'most', not 'all'. There are relationships (including marriage) where the woman dominates over the man, and at times those relationships are mutually satisfying. Depends on what you both want.

Still, most men like being dominant, and most women are comfortable with submissive roles. Even the alpha-females you mentioned, are alpha with respect to other females. She might be submissive to her man.

What we cannot have, however, is two equally dominant or two equally submissive persons in a relationship. One has to dominate and the other submit (at times without even realizing it).

When they both try to be dominant, we hear things like "he's a control freak" or "She's disrespectful"

When they both try to be submissive, you hear things like "she doesn't have a mind of her own" or "he's weak, a sissy"

In either case, they would both be dissatisfied, and love cannot be sustained. Opposites attract.

I think the chief architect of all these is LOVE....there can't be submission without Love,love must come to play b4 submission cos if I don't love you, it will be hell difficult for me to be submissive.........love should come first, that's my own point of view!!.....ka chineke mezie okwu!!

Nemeka: Submission comes first! Don't forget that accepting to date you is an act of submission, and there is no way two people will go to next level without first submitting to each other. No matter the infatuation, nobody (right thinking person) will propose marriage to somebody thats not submissive even in courtship.
Submission is the glue that holds two people together, be it in friendship or marriage.
And submission is a two way thing of give-and-take and not mono-directional

Love comes first in everything.

It starts with LOVE and ends with LOVE. wen dre is love, submission follows.

Dolly-Parton:
Love is the ultimate.
You love people the way they are. Whether submissive or not. Pure love is unconditional. The fact is whether a man shows love or not, a submissive woman will be. And whether a woman is submissive or not, a loving husband will be.

Well said Dolly-Parton!

naijaboyof4life:

Love comes first in everything.

dude, romantic love is overrated. Most times, love isn't even a cause but an effect. Some things have to happen first before love can grow, but since they are not always consciously carried out, we think love is a magic seed that grows everywhere and anywhere.

Dolly-Parton:
Love is the ultimate.
You love people the way they are. Whether submissive or not. Pure love is unconditional. The fact is whether a man shows love or not, a submissive woman will be. And whether a woman is submissive or not, a loving husband will be.

one day you'd read this post and laugh at yourself. No love is unconditional, not even a mother's love.

wazobia_for_u: Just tell me a Man that love an arrogant wife...


Love, must be there before a man will ask "will you marry me" and love must also be there before a lady will say "yes I will"

Some people minimize their submission while in courtship with "you are not yet my husband" or not yet my wife.

So now that you are married, the next thing is Submission, so submission come immediately after Marriage



MAN appreciate a submissive and respective wife
WOMEN appreciate a man that show love

Complete! Nothing else to add.

If she Love him she will be submissive to him. Love first

Totally disagree with dis post

Dolly-Parton:
Love is the ultimate.
You love people the way they are. Whether submissive or not. Pure love is unconditional. The fact is whether a man shows love or not, a submissive woman will be. And whether a woman is submissive or not, a loving husband will be.

I just have only one question to ask. What has made marriages of old last? And also what has made recent marriages(so called modern relationship\marriages)fail? when a woman wants equal rights as d same with her husband we all kw what happens afterwards.

Just what's on my mind!

lil max: Is there any need to stress this? As you can see in the bible submission comes first,i cant even love a woman that is not submissive

I think you should ask Google

Oahray: dude, romantic love is overrated. Most times, love isn't even a cause but an effect. Some things have to happen first before love can grow, but since they are not always consciously carried out, we think love is a magic seed that grows everywhere and anywhere.

Tell it!!!! The bolded are so true! People love to live in this fairy tale fantasy-like, consciously or unconsciously, life where the sky is blue and the roses and butterflies flutter. When the reality of true life situation hit them, they become confused and start questioning every emotion that stirs inside them. Well, ladies tend to see love in every smile and romantic gesture, we really need to snap out of it and face reality. Love is beautiful as it is, only matters when it's deep-rotted and not fluttery.

In marriage, IMO, Submitting to him, simply means, be a man and don't frigging mess up my life, now tats attached to yours.

Oahray: one day you'd read this post and laugh at yourself. No love is unconditional, not even a mother's love.

yes. Steal and become. Public nuisance, you'd surprise how the love will start dwindling.

@dolly Parton, Miss, some men are loving but will only express same when she is not there. ISFJ is a personality that as problems voicing out their true feelings, it's worse If it's a male. in female, we are forgiven because we are supposed to be delicate and fragile after all.

Submission will create enabling environment for love to grow.

3Dimension: Submission and love...

Which should come first?

Love:
And which should come last?

Still LOVE.

Embedded in Love is submission, peace, joy etc.

A woman can be submissive but will neva love the man.

Mind you if a typical naija man says the wife is not "submissive" he actually wants a puppet to control left, right and center.

I have no Idea of what u are talking about,who wants a dummy as wife?

3Dimension: Submission and love...

Which should come first?

Love:
And which should come last?

Still LOVE.

Embedded in Love is submission, peace, joy etc.

A woman can be submissive but will neva love the man.

Mind you if a typical naija man says the wife is not "submissive" he actually wants a puppet to control left, right and center.

I have no Idea of what u are talking about,who wants a dummy as wife?

3Dimension: Submission and love...

Which should come first?

Love:
And which should come last?

Still LOVE.

Embedded in Love is submission, peace, joy etc.

A woman can be submissive but will neva love the man.

Mind you if a typical naija man says the wife is not "submissive" he actually wants a puppet to control left, right and center.

God bless you!

Love and submission are two different qualities required in any union. There is no order(1st or 2nd) but both should be present. As far as they are married, The man should love his wife even if she isn't submissive; likewise the woman should submit to her husband even if he doesn't love her

Emmaomotob: I have no Idea of what u are talking about,who wants a dummy as wife?

if all you want from your wife is not to have a say all inthe name of submission then...

I have many instances whereby the man is a control freak and whenever the wife raises an objection she becomes insubmissive.

A woman's show of love is via submission/respect or whatever you mean to call it. I don't think that one should be an offshoot of the other though Don't believe marital love should be very conditional, or you both are bound to break up sooner or later.

ismokeweed: Nyashing

Na wetin concern u be dat, diff things for different folks

Sijo01: LOVE!......... A woman can submit the whole of her and forget about herself is she's loved.

GNS 101