Sophyrocks:


I see. You will be surprised that upon all i have said, some men will stiill tag me a Feminist. I think such men are abusive and do not like the fact that their unbalanced mentality has been exposed.

But you have not answered my question. What does 'Do to others what you would like them to do to you' mean?

whoever goes ahead to tag you a feminist isn't been fair and objective

Well it simply means being reciprocal in actions and deeds, treat others well to be treated well. Hope i score 10/10?

princefunmi:


Well, one thing I can say here is that the admonition of Eph 5 clearly states the role each one should play in marriage. It is the responsibility and duty of Husbands to love their wives. Likewise, it is the duty of wives to be submissive to their husbands.

I do not think one has to come before the other. It is what everybody has to do. The Husband should love and that should be unconditional. The wife should submit and have respect for her husband. That is also unconditional. If you are waiting for one person to do his/her part before doing yours, chances are the the other person is also waiting. So when will you all get to start loving and submitting?

0P, u thr? This is d ans to ur thread. Gaskia

shizzle11:
whoever goes ahead to tag you a feminist isn't been fair and objective

Well it simply means being reciprocal in actions and deeds, treat others well to be treated well. Hope i score 10/10?

I give you 10/10.

So what is wrong with applying such principle of Jesus into the marriage? Many men think applying such makes them less than Men. Going by that principle, if you wouldnt want your wife to cheat on you, why cheat on her? Does cheating on your wife show Honor? As the Head, isnt it expected that you should Lead by example same way Christ does? Can you see why submission is very hard to come by? Many men are not seeng the Headship role for what it really is. If jesus was very abusive and showed very bad examples, do you think we christians would find it easy to follow him? This goes to show that before a woman can easily submit to you, you must have shown yourself WORTHY of that submission.

Anyways, this goes both ways for both husbands and wives. Both men and women need to know and understand their roles properly before they get married.

Sophyrocks:

I give you 10/10.

So what is wrong with applying such principle of Jesus into the marriage? Many men think applying such makes them less than Men. Going by that principle, if you wouldnt want your wife to cheat on you, why cheat on her? Does cheating on your wife show Honor? As the Head, isnt it expected that you should Lead by example same way Christ does? Can you see why submission is very hard to come by? Many men are not seeng the Headship role for what it really is. If jesus was very abusive and showed very bad examples, do you think we christians would find it easy to follow him? This goes to show that before a woman can easily submit to you, you must have shown yourself WORTHY of that submission.

Anyways, this goes both ways for both husbands and wives. Both men and women need to know and understand their roles properly before they get married.

GBAM, I just have to log in because of this. you nailed it

Sophyrocks:

I give you 10/10.

So what is wrong with applying such principle of Jesus into the marriage? Many men think applying such makes them less than Men. Going by that principle, if you wouldnt want your wife to cheat on you, why cheat on her? Does cheating on your wife show Honor? As the Head, isnt it expected that you should Lead by example same way Christ does? Can you see why submission is very hard to come by? If jesus was very abusive and showed very bad examples, do you think we christians would find it easy to follow him? This goes to show that before a woman can easily submit to you, you must have shown yourself WORTHY of that submission.

Anyways, this goes both ways for both husbands and wives. Both men and women need to know and understand their roles properly before they get married.

lol...You just balanced your view with the bolded, and i couldn't agree any less, your rhetorics before then centered on men..men..men. Just as before a man can easily love you, you must have shown yourself WORTHY of that love, agreed , its a two-way thing, the reason i said it should be reciprocal and thanks for scoring me maximum marks

Its good trying to imbibe Biblical teachings in our daily lives and in the way we treat others even though its not as easy as it sounds, but we equally will need to adjust accordingly to societal dictates and practical realities in some other things

shizzle11:
lol...You just balanced your view with the bolded, and i couldn't agree any less, your rhetorics before then centered on men..men..men. Just as before a man can easily love you, you must have shown yourself WORTHY of that love, agreed , its a two-way thing, the reason i said it should be reciprocal and thanks for scoring me maximum marks

Its good trying to imbibe Biblical teachings in our daily lives and in the way we treat others even though its not as easy as it sounds, but we equally will need to adjust accordingly to societal dictates and practical realities in some other things

If you truly a christian and are interested in a meaningful marriage, you will NOT live yor life accordng to societal dictations. Whose dictations are better, God or Man? You decide. Afterall, marriage is of God and not of society. Follow societal demands at your own risk!! A lot of people are suffering it already. You wanna join the bandwagon?

Sophyrocks:
If you truly a christian and are interested in a meaningful marriage, you will NOT live yor life accordng to societal dictations. Whose dictations are better, God or Man? You decide. Afterall, marriage is of God and not of society. Follow societal demands at your own risk!! A lot of people are suffering it already. You wanna join the

bandwagon?

I saw this coming, i'll be very forthright and plain.

The same Bible says we should abstain from sexxxx before marriage, even some of us hypocritically preach it but are not able to walk the talk, so who is fooling who? This is the kind of societal dictates I'm talking about, couples would want to marry partners with whom they are sexually compatible and I'm sure even you would not want shy away from that fact, so its not about joining the bandwagon, lets say it as it is.

Hope you get where im coming from?...lol

shizzle11:
lol...You just balanced your view with the bolded, and i couldn't agree any less, your rhetorics before then centered on men..men..men. Just as before a man can easily love you, you must have shown yourself WORTHY of that love, agreed , its a two-way thing, the reason i said it should be reciprocal and thanks for scoring me maximum marks

Its good trying to imbibe Biblical teachings in our daily lives and in the way we treat others even though its not as easy as it sounds, but we equally will need to adjust accordingly to societal dictates and practical realities in some other things

You are such a mentally balanced man. Of course yes, if we women want love, we must submit. Which is why i advise ladies to marry whom they can easily be submissive to.

For example, I can NEVER be submissve to an an arrogant, Hitler-wanna be, unrepentant Cheat. MBANU!! Which is why i woulld go for a humble man who has the fear of God in him, not a religious man oooo. Who takes the vows of marriage very seriously, who has a conscience that adultery is a sin.

You see, if you have moral values, you should go for someone of your kind, who sees marriage the same way you do. If you take marriage seriously, do not ever marry someone who sees it as a sham to please society.

shizzle11:
I saw this coming, i'll be very forthright and plain.

The same Bible says we should abstain from sexxxx before marriage, even some of us hypocritically preach it but are not able to walk the talk, so who is fooling who? This is the kind of societal dictates I'm talking about, couples would want to marry partners with whom they are sexually compatible and I'm sure even you would not want shy away from that fact, so its not about joining the bandwagon, lets say it as it is.

Hope you get where im coming from?...lol

I get you. Fine. We are imperfect and we do sin. we preach and still we sin. But if a sin has a destination thats worthy of destroying you, would you continue in it? The main point is allow your conscience to work. Dnt make it dead simply because the society wants it so. A lot of people are 'testing before buying' and yet that satisfaction and happiness is still not there. Why? Testing up down leading to stds, endless abortions, rise in single mothers, who are the same people bearing the brunts?

Well, we all have different understanding of moral values. We love to select some and trash out the rest but yet still lament when things go wrong. Lets just admit that God's wisdom is unmatchable and ours is foolishness. Our conscience should not be dead simply because we are imperfect. God's principles are for our benefit. they are not stumbling blocks.

Sophyrocks:


You are such a mentally balanced man. Of course yes, if we women want love, we must submit. Which is why i advise ladies to amrry whom they can easily be submissive to.

For example, I can NEVER be submissve to an an arrogant, Hitler-wanna be, unrepentant Cheat. MBANU!! Which is why i woulld go for a humble man who has the fear of God in him, not a religious man oooo. Who takes the vows of marriage very seriously, who has a conscience that adultery is a sin.

You see, if you have moral values, you should go for someone of your kind, who sees marriage the same way you do. If you take marriage seriously, do not ever marry someone who sees it as a sham to please society.

Thanks!

Exactly! couples should marry partners who have same mindset about marriage and the moral values they attach to it. fair enough!

@bolded, i also do not like a partner who is too religious, kinda sucks and takes away the flavour of social life and limited fun. Every other thing you said, i concur with. Heck i think we kinda have the same mindset on this issue of marriage, you seem to be my colour, this time i am beginning to love you, this is not a joke

Christ and the church: Christ loved us while we are yet sinners (rebels, enemies) and then his love made us to submit because he also submitted first.
Now that is compared to the marriage where Love is the principal thing, love comes from both ends but submission is expected from the woman.
The man must Love even before the woman submits, else the submission is false it could lead to food poisoning....hahaha.

Sophyrocks:
I get you. Fine. We are imperfect and we do sin. we preach and still we sin. But if a sin has a destination thats worthy of destroying you, would you continue in it? The main point is allow your conscience to work. Dnt make it dead simply because the society wants it so. A lot of people are 'testing before buying' and yet that satisfaction and happiness is still not there. Why? Testing up down leading to stds, endless abortions, rise in single mothers, who are the same people bearing the brunts?

Well, we all have different understanding of moral values. We love to select some and trash out the rest but yet still lament when things go wrong. Lets just admit that God's wisdom is unmatchable and ours is foolishness. Our conscience should not be dead simply because we are imperfect. God's principles are for our benefit. they are not stumbling blocks.

You are right! Gods wisdom is unrivalled, i agree we should be guided by our conscience and that our moral values should not be compromised, i am nit in any way trying to discourage moral forthrightness but only bringing to fur the reality of our world which you will also agree with me concerning certain things when compared to the practical realities on ground viz a viz biblical teachings.

Its not about testing u and down, but like i said couples who are at variance with their sex drive will have problems, we have seen women list sexxual satisfaction and performance as a prerequisite for a choice of partner, so if she goes ahead practically appreciating the partners sexual prowess before marriage does that negate her moral values? NO! Its about appreciating who we are and not making any pretence about it, that's why i talked earlier about practical realities

shizzle11: I think its you who is missing the point.

I repeat and i insist, with love, submission will follow naturally, in order words if you love someone, its almost guaranteed you'll be submissive, but you can be submissive without necessarily loving a person.

Now to the bolded in your comment, it simply means you agree with me that you can submit to someone out if fear, respect, duress etc and not out of fear meaning you can be submissive without an iota of love, but once you love someone, you are most likely to be submissive.

bottom line: love comes before submission, if you love, you'll submit, but if you submit, you dont necessarily love

explain the part where parents love their children and therefore would submit to them.

I repeat, submission comes from either fear or respect. Fear comes from threat/duress. Respect comes from acknowledging authority. Love doesn't delegate authority. It simply provides a sense of security for the one who submits. Authority is delegated by religion, the societal norm (e.g age), financial power (and one's dependence), intellect, etc.

Why do you think it's harder for a wife who earns way more than her husband to submit to him than when she earns less? Does earning more make her love him less? In a relationship where two people love each other to bits, only one party is submissive. Be more observant. Life is more of practical than theory.

shizzle11:
Thanks!

Exactly! couples should marry partners who have same mindset about marriage and the moral values they attach to it. fair enough!

@bolded, i also do not like a partner who is too religious, kinda sucks and takes away the flavour of social life and limited fun. Every other thing you said, i concur with. Heck i think we kinda have the same mindset on this issue of marriage, you seem to be my colour, this time i am beginning to love you, this is not a joke

When i say religious, i meant people who are sooooo churchy with all their religious brouhaha yet their lifestyles makes you wanna puke. Same thing Jesus hated the pharisees for. He termed it HYPOCRISY. They make the loudest noise and judge the most. Disturbing their neighbors with noise every night and morning. I like been real and want the same for my husband thats it.

As for the bolded, Lip sealed.

shizzle11:
You are right! Gods wisdom is unrivalled, i agree we should be guided by our conscience and that our moral values should not be compromised, i am nit in any way trying to discourage moral forthrightness but only bringing to fur the reality of our world which you will also agree with me concerning certain things when compared to the practical realities on ground viz a viz biblical teachings.

Its not about testing u and down, but like i said couples who are at variance with their sex drive will have problems, we have seen women list sexxual satisfaction and performance as a prerequisite for a choice of partner, so if she goes ahead practically appreciating the partners sexual prowess before marriage does that negate her moral values? NO! Its about appreciating who we are and not making any pretence about it, that's why i talked earlier about practical realities

I see. Okies. well, lets just agree to disagree here.

Sophyrocks:
When i say religious, i meant people who are sooooo churchy with all their religious brouhaha yet their lifestyles makes you wanna puke. Same thing Jesus hated the pharisees for. He termed it HYPOCRISY. They make the loudest noise and judge the most. Disturbing their neighbors with noise every night and morning. I like been real and want the same for my husband thats it.

As for the bolded, Lip sealed.

Oh hypocrisy is one thing i detest like mad. @bolded those are the kind of people that will go to church in the morning and visit dibia at dark

Just keep the lip sealed and i detest pretence too. Erm..... hope I'm being real enough thou

TWO THINGS;
1.Submit to me,i don't need your love.We are in a contract called marriage and am the Head .
We should both honour the contract.
2. Love does not exist,even in marriage.The perfect love - maternal love for her children.Its unconditional.We can see that in animals too,. Very Very unconditional !!!

Sophyrocks:
I see. Okies. well, lets just agree to disagree here.

And we disagree to agree ....as i look forward to another self explanatory comment

shizzle11:
Oh hypocrisy is one thing i detest like mad. @bolded those are the kind of people that will go to church in the morning and visit dibia at dark

Just keep the lips sealed and i detest pretence too. Erm..... hope I'm being real enough thou

Seriously? Hahahaha. Lip sealed once more.

shizzle11:
And we disagree to agree ....as i look forward to another self explanatory comment

Mettal: TWO THINGS;
1.Submit to me,i don't need your love.We are in a contract called marriage and am the Head .
We should both honour the contract.
2. Love does not exist,even in marriage.[/b]The perfect love - maternal love for her children.Its unconditional.We can see that in animals too,. Very Very unconditional !!!

O.k. This is interesting. Your wife should submit to you but should not get Love from you becos love does not exist in your world. So why should your wife still be submissive when she aint getting nada from you?

#A lightbulb idea pops up#. I know the perfect match for you. [b]GOLDDIGERS. You know why? They dnt bloody care about love. all they want is money. Trust me, they will be submissive to your arrangement as long as you keep the money coming. Be warned!! DO NOT EVER GO BROKE!!

Mettal: TWO THINGS;
1.Submit to me,i don't need your love.We are in a contract called marriage and am the Head .
We should both honour the contract.
2. Love does not exist,even in marriage.The perfect love - maternal love for her children.Its unconditional.We can see that in animals too,. Very Very unconditional !!!

being the mother is already a condition. Does your mum love her neighbours children like she loves you?

Even in the animal Kingdom, mothers are willing to hunt down other animals' offspring to feed theirs but would aggressively protect theirs. If it were unconditional, they would sacrifice themselves for a random animal's offspring and not theirs alone.

Oahray: explain the part where parents love their children and therefore submit to them.

Parents are expected to love their children which is unarguable. Talking about submitting to them, you can also submit to your kids when they are still infants/toddlers, (you can liken that to submitting under duress) you tend to do their bidding cos no parent would like to see his/her child crying for ice cream, bobo drink or corn flakes. Sometimes even when you may feel the child is eating too much or demanding too much to eat, you tend to submit to his/her wishes cos you cant watch a child cry and disturb you for such necessities and do nothing especially if its something you have to do otherwise you wont have peace.

My point is, you are bound to provide for your children and show them love but you cant submit to your adult children. Cant even remember making a statement about submitting to your children

Sophyrocks:
O.k. This interesting. Your wife should submit to you but should not get Love from you becos love does not exist in your world. So why should your wife still be submissive when she aint getting nada from you?

#A lightbulb idea pops up#. I know the perfect match for you. GOLDDIGERS. You know why? They dnt bloody care about love. all they want is money. Trust me, they will be submissive to your arrangement as long as you keep the money coming. Be warned!! DO NOT EVER GO BROKE!!

a gold digger honouring a marriage contract, KOOL. She is there as the wife,does her part perfectly well, get loads of money in return. And maintain a very good communication skills needed in marriage, KOOL, love does not exist,and if you thinks otherwise then you are in a fantasy world. The Love God has for us, and the natural maternal Love to her child are the only love that exist. The one we see in relationships is called AFFECTION.

shizzle11:
Parents are expected to love their children which is unarguable. Talking about submitting to them, you can also submit to your kids when they are still infants, you tend to do their bidding cos no parent would like to see his/her child crying for ice cream, bobo drink or corn flakes. Sometimes even when you may feel the child is eating too much or demanding too much to eat, you tend to submit to his/her wishes cos you cant watch a child cry and disturb you for such necessities and do nothing especially if its something you have to do otherwise you wont have peace.

My point is, you are bound to provide for your children and show them love but you cant submit to your adult children. Cant even remember making a statement about submitting to your children

Your first paragraph shows that you have no idea what submission means.

Your second paragraph shows you make statements without giving thought to the implication. You made a general statement about love but are shocked that I singled out parents and children? Who does that? If love makes us submit, and parents don't submit to their grown children, does it mean they stopped loving them?

Sophyrocks:
Seriously? Hahahaha. Lip sealed once more.

lol...have i said anything out of the ordinary?

tunapius: 0P, u thr? This is d ans to ur thread. Gaskia

Yes, i'm here...and taking note of all ur comments.

Thanks y'all for taking out time to comment, GOD bless you all.

Oahray: being the mother is already a condition. Does your mum love her neighbours children like she loves you?

Even in the animal Kingdom, mothers are willing to hunt down other animals' offspring to feed theirs but would aggressively protect theirs. If it were unconditional, they would sacrifice themselves for a random animal's offspring and not theirs alone.

you are misinterpreting me , i mean mother to her own child's love. Not any random child.

Mettal: you are misinterpreting me , i mean mother to her own child's love. Not any random child.

that's the condition bro. Look at the big picture.

Mettal: a gold digger honouring a marriage contract, KOOL. She is there as the wife,does her part perfectly well, get loads of money in return. And maintain a very good communication skills needed in marriage, KOOL, love does not exist,and if you thinks otherwise then you are in a fantasy world. The Love God has for us, and the natural maternal Love to her child are the only love that exist. The one we see in relationships is called AFFECTION.

Good communication skills in a Sham of a Marriage? You must be kidding right? Hahahahahaha. Come on!! That is one thing scamish marriages lack. When everybody in it is selfish about what they are to get, who gives a damn about communication skills? All they say is 'Give me Give me Give me. Kpomkwem.
You dnt want Love or cant give love but you want good communcation? How is that possible without love in the union? You cant eat your cake and have it. Dnt expect good comunication when there is no love. No be you no want Love. God help you if your pockets run dry. Your golddigging wife will turn to a wh0re under your nose.

Ever heard of the phrase "Love happens to those who believe in it"? alot who believe in it are gaining a lot of its fruits. They are already living in that fantasy world in REALITY. Your lot won't get it cos you do not practise it. Love is practised for it to exist.

Oh well, goodluck in your sham of a marriage. Whatever makes you sleep well at night.

Oahray: Your first paragraph shows that you have no idea what submission means.

Your second paragraph shows you make statements without giving thought to the implication. You made a general statement about love but are shocked that I singled out parents and children? Who does that? If love makes us submit, and parents don't submit to their grown children, does it mean they stopped loving them?

To start with for the sake of clarity, the thread bordered on husband/wife relationship, which was why the op quoted some verses that said husband love....., wives submit...and it was in that context that i mede my inputs. It was never on parent/child relationship but rather on spousal relationship.

I only tried to give a clear, concise explanation when you narrowed it down to parent/child rship, thinking you have something meaningful you are trying to drive at. God back to page1 read the ops question again and digest it so you can understand very well the context in which she's talking about love and submission

Nemeka: Submission comes first! Don't forget that accepting to date you is an act of submission, and there is no way two people will go to next level without first submitting to each other. No matter the infatuation, nobody (right thinking person) will propose marriage to somebody thats not submissive even in courtship.
Submission is the glue that holds two people together, be it in friendship or marriage.
And submission is a two way thing of give-and-take and not mono-directional

gbam!