tutcy4u:

@ ujujoan

thx girl, i really appreciate ur contribution,
still thinkn about this break thing, yesterday, i tried not 2 call him, he dint call either, i cldnt sleep, i had 2 jst call, n even after that, i still dint sleep well, i dnt kw wht i have done 2 deserve all this,
well, i guess i have 2 learn 2 live with the fact that we were not meant 2 b 2gda afterall,
i jst ope i dnt drop dead if they eva think of gettn married. i love him, i trusted her, the two people that i really care 4 has turned their back at me, its a crazy world.

Trust me girl, I know how ard it is to stay away. It wont be easy. The first few day would be impossible. But what will spur you on is his indifference. The fact that he dosent care if you call him or not. And he dosent even bother to call you himself. You could call him once in a while, send him text messages, but stay away from him. Let him miss you. Try to go on with it for sometime, then call him and have a chat with him. Tell him you still love him and tell him why you stayed away.

I bet he'll tell you what's been on his mind since and dont let him put the blame on you.

But be careful how you 'chase' him. You might hate yourself later for stooping that low, because the way I see it, the guy's leaving you. I could be wrong of course time will tell.

Take care girl and dont hold the tears back. It releives a lot of pain and tension

tutcy4u:

now am even more confused, u really think i shld stay till he calls it off?

Staying till he calls it off is an option. But girl, I wont subject myself to such heartache. So he eats his cake and gets it back abi?? This is not a child's play, this is a relationship, and possibly courtship. Why play games?? Its either he's in or not. If he's not ready to change his attitude and give a reasonable explianation for his withdrawal, then I'm afriad you'll just waste precious time staying.

But if you want stay oh . . . its your choice.

you heard

izi-n-bizi:

Just use him to enjoy yourself is what I am saying. Call him when u can't hold back, greet him happily, detach ur mind from many emotions, use him while he still relates to you, if u need sexual satisfaction, get it from him while it lasts, if u need to talk, call him up and talk. Detach yourself emotionally, talk to him as a friend that can still satisfy som of your needs for now, while not breaking off completely - but don't expect too much from him, and show more interest to another suitor if such exists - make him feel u don't care and get him jealous. Be careful of your friend, avoid her and don't tell her your plot.

You do have a point!!

tutcy4u:

@ whitelexi
am really surprised at you man, how could u reason like this? [b]you certainly must be the kind of guy that could do such a thing.[/b]first, i heard smtn about my boyfriend and stupid girl frnd, what was i supposed 2 do? jst sit n watch then die in silence? i did d right thing by askn and they both denied it, is that a reason for the attitude? this stuff happened like a month ago and i thought everyone of us shld have 4gotten the issue but NO, the girl changed, my boyfriend changed, non of them wants 2 tlk 2me again, wht other evidence do i need?

well thank you 4 ur contribution, its bad enough that am about 2 get dumped 4 my galfriend,
dnt complicate issues.

I simply love the first line of your post because it answers all your questions:
1) am really surprised at you man: I expected u to be surprised, because girls like u r so engrossed in thoughts regarding what u want and what u think, u forget that guys also have a thought of their's and also want stuff in their own way. When u learn to start thinking from different perspectives, things will start getting clearer and maybe then, just maybe, you'll not be surprised at me anymore

2) how could u reason like this?: The answers to this one are clearly represented in the 1st question as highlighted above, but for clarity sake, i reason the way i reason because i reason from both perspectives and therefore, normally get a clearer and more wholistic picture of the situation. . .  Did u ever hear of that saying that what an adult sees while sitting down, a child will not see - even if he climbs to the top of an iroko tree?

3) you certainly must be the kind of guy that could do such a thing: There u go again, first it was your bf u accused without any proof, now me? Damn! and i thought u were listening and learning!

the games people play with thier lives. God help us

tutcy4u
this is no time for blames, read my immediate post above, thats the best thing u can do for yourself now, u dont need furthjer turbulence, i think you have had enough. Dont get into was I wrong or not, it will not help so much now.

izi-n-bizi:

tutcy4u
this is no time for blames, read my immediate post above, thats the best thing u can do for yourself now, u don't need furthjer turbulence, i think you have had enough. don't get into was I wrong or not, it will not help so much now.

I think she knows she blew it
I think the guy himself is tired of her suspicion and i think she also knows that.
I think the best thing for her is to learn from this experience and to use it in future, if u think your guy is still there for u, then u are assuming stuff.
Candid advice? Move on and learn for future purposes. . . Nothing kills relationships more than a suspecting partner who has turned insecure.

whitelexi:

I think she knows she blew it
I think the guy himself is tired of her suspicion and i think she also knows that.
I think the best thing for her is to learn from this experience and to use it in future, if u think your guy is still there for u, then u are assuming stuff.
Candid advice? Move on and learn for future purposes. . . Nothing kills relationships more than a suspecting partner who has turned insecure.

lexi or whateva you call urslf, y do u have 2 judge me like this, on a more serious note, what was i supposed 2 do? jst sit n watch what evidence do i need again? ok, y is my galfrnd actn up 2?
anywys i dnt blaim u at all, u reason jst like him, n like i said, i know you the type that would do such a thing, s**ker

tutcy4u:

lexi or whateva you call urslf, y do u have 2 judge me like this, on a more serious note, what was i supposed 2 do? jst sit n watch what evidence do i need again? ok, y is my galfrnd actn up 2?
anywys i dnt blaim u at all, u reason jst like him, n like i said, i know you the type that would do such a thing, s**ker

My friend, the truth is bitter but we all identify with it from time to time, it is the first stage of growing up. . . I can understand your anguish, and i want u to understand that i dont hate u, i have no hard feelings or anger in my head. . . I'm just placing myself in the different shoes available and wondering how i'd react.
My screen name on NL is Whitelexi, but if u choose to call me Lexi - i'll let it pass. I am not judging you, but looking at your application for help from another angle. I wouldnt say i expected u to sit down and watch, I expected u to ask both of them in a good way, and then to drop it there if they say there is nothing between them. You dont have any evidence yet so what u should've done was just ask and let go. It is only when u disagree with what he tells u that he starts to see that you dont trust him and he will most likely react to that, abi u also expected him to sit down and look? I imagine your girlfriend is acting up because she probably cant believe u r constantly suspecting her with your bf. Who wont stay away from someone who keeps suspecting them with her guy? Now she stays away, u say she's acting up, when she was there, u accused her, and with no evidence at all except your insecure obsessions, what do u want the poor girl to do?

And finally, i'm the type that will stay the hell away from a suspecting partner cos i'm not ready for the drama, I've seen it happen and i wont get involved, sorry

izi-n-bizi:

Just use him to enjoy yourself is what I am saying. Call him when u can't hold back, greet him happily, detach ur mind from many emotions, use him while he still relates to you, if u need sexual satisfaction, get it from him while it lasts, if u need to talk, call him up and talk. Detach yourself emotionally, talk to him as a friend that can still satisfy som of your needs for now, while not breaking off completely - but don't expect too much from him, and show more interest to another suitor if such exists - make him feel u don't care and get him jealous. Be careful of your friend, avoid her and don't tell her your plot.

Mehn!!!
I agree with every single word of this post.
I couldn't have said it any berra.Kudos to you Bizi
Posta, I feel your pain but if you adhere to this particular advice. . . I'm 90% sure
you won't regret it.

HMMM,

      ladies expend a lot of motions into things that are not very appropriate.
     I dont think a guy will consider any babe that does this to him cos it is the highest form of betrayal and i dont      think   this guy worthy to have ur hand in marriage (my opinion).

cant imagine not trusting my spouse!!!!!

Missy B:

Mehn!!!
I agree with every single word of this post.
I couldn't have said it any berra.Kudos to you Bizi
Posta, I feel your pain but if you adhere to this particular advice. . . I'm 90% sure
you won't regret it.

Are we talking about a guy who still wants u or a guy who's as good as gone here?
If i follow your own words, he's already stepping backwards, u go there thinking u want to use him but instead u're helping the dude out with some extra bangs
When its time to discuss your probs, he turns away and says he's not interested, will u fight him?

Always think about the other end before u jump into the ocean

whitelexi:

Are we talking about a guy who still wants u or a guy who's as good as gone here?
If i follow your own words, he's already stepping backwards, u go there thinking u want to use him but instead u're helping the dude out with some extra bangs
When its time to discuss your probs, he turns away and says he's not interested, will u fight him?

Always think about the other end before u jump into the ocean

Listen . . . . . . .
It's a fact that when you love someone,inspite of what he/she does,
it will always be difficult to pull outt'a the relationship at once.What's the essence tellin' her
to 'fashi' the guy at once when we know its not possible?I once agreed and still agree that
the advice given above is the best option at the moment until she's able help herself out finally.

izi-n-bizi:

Just use him to enjoy yourself is what I am saying. Call him when u can't hold back, greet him happily, detach ur mind from many emotions,

Like I said initially,it's not possible to let go all those things she once did.
Yea,call him when you can't hold back,greet him wella like there's nuttin wrong but be smart
to detach yourself frm emotions gradually.

izi-n-bizi:

use him while he still relates to you, if u need sexual satisfaction, get it from him

If she feels the need to satify her sexual urge,let her get it from him
for its far more berra than being a cheerful giver by permittin' every TOM,manliness AND HARRY to
have a taste after all the same guy has been eatin' the fruit since.So he can still eat as long as
they haven't 'officially' called it off.If she also feels like not lettin' the guy in there,better for her.
All she needs is just a little self control(sexually) since it seems the guy ain't interested.

izi-n-bizi:

but don't expect too much from him, and show more interest to another suitor if such exists - make him feel u don't care and get him jealous. Be careful of your friend, avoid her and don't tell her your plot.

Yea. . . this is it!! While doin' the calls and satisfyin' herself,
she should prepare her mind for the worst jst in case the situation doesn't
get berra.That way,she will feel berra as she was already prepared for it.Plus
she should endeavour to show interest in any suitor she finds promising and careless about what the guy does
with her friend or any other girl.

whitelexi:

Always think about the other end before u jump into the ocean

YeaI have already done that and it seems there's no shark
at the other end so she can peacefully jump into it and be free.

whitelexi:

I would not think, i'D investigate properly and reach a a verdict before coming out with accusations that hold little water.

Why do you come here and spit lies?

deep down in your mind, you know that if you were to be in the poster's shoe you would do worst. so i would advice you to stop deceiving yourself and try to be honest to yourself for once. No hard feelings.

why do we have to lie to ourselves, we all know to " forget it" is not as easy as we say - but we keep saying it. we say thesame thing every time but when it gets to our turn we cry for years. Its a hurt to the emotion that should heal gradually, stop lying to her, tell her the truth - my dear use him to heal urself gradually.

baby girl i will advice u to pretend u never heard anything even if its true u have to search ur conscience and find out if the fault is nt really urs.
and if u have to make up or don't make up try as much as possible not to let ur friends what goes on in ur relationship  cus wen ur enemies envy ur love they only do wish it was them and find wat to get close but wen ur friend envies they just slip dwn ur doorpost right under ur noes and take ur place.

better still if u make up ur mind to leave him find a way for him to call off the relationship so that tomorrow he will not say after all u left him am talking with experience that was wt i did to my ex. we dated for six years and wen i discovered i she was actually cheating on me questioned her twice abt it thou she initially denied it

but as a rude boy i watched her closely and discovered it funny enough i forgave her four good times and after dt she kept doing the same thing i did not call it off she walked out on the relationship cus i set the motive rolling for her not to be comfortable in it and she has tried many times to have me back i try as much as possible to remind her of her statements '' SHE SAID IF I REALLY LOVE HER I SHOULD LET HER IN A NEW FOUND LOVE HER ''  so its now my turn if she really loves me and wants my happiness she should do the same cus i respected hers.and this was now becus they where dumping her so anytime she gets dumped she remembers me . i dont blame her much she some friends who lead her astray and the worst is that her aunt uses her to make money cus she is vry beautiful she has even done a bill board advert

so make up ur mind on want u want u no relationship we can only advice u but the decision is urs
i will assure that if u believe so much in urself u wil get love and thats if ur wiling to open ur hrt again.

its had getting some i knw but i will tell u there a lot of single pple out there both male and female and be careful lots of scavengers in town

but if u feel u can afford to loose him and u fill is the type to spend ur life with then communication matters alot fight for what u have but not a physical fight nor spiritual u can pray and i bet ur educated so use ur nos six before seven

and always have it at the back of ur mind that u can force a carmel to d river but cant force it to drink