Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 3,153,812 members, 7,820,846 topics. Date: Tuesday, 07 May 2024 at 11:04 PM

My Brother Or My Wife, Who Should I Pick? - Family (4) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / My Brother Or My Wife, Who Should I Pick? (29244 Views)

As A Husband, Or Wife, Who Will You Make Your Next Of Kin / Man Buys Honda SUV For Wife Who Gave Birth (pics) / Can You Attend The Marriage Of A Gay Brother Or Relative? (2) (3) (4)

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (Reply) (Go Down)

Re: My Brother Or My Wife, Who Should I Pick? by Johnnoo(m): 10:12am On Jul 20, 2014
The brighter among the two should be presented
Re: My Brother Or My Wife, Who Should I Pick? by kalufelix(m): 10:14am On Jul 20, 2014
Ask peter okoye....

1 Like

Re: My Brother Or My Wife, Who Should I Pick? by Kessleek(m): 10:14am On Jul 20, 2014
einsteino: It's a very confusing one o.

My fear is a woman eating 10x his salary. There are some women who change as soon as they are the one footing d bills and dere are some who would foot bills and still be so loving and respectful. He is d one who has been living with her and knows her better.

I can't imagine getting married with an income as little as his, so that woman must rilli be a nice woman to have stuck with him thru thin.

Also It would be painful to abandon his bro, but some bros could start earning big and meet a jezebel and turn around to say "broda what have u done for me before?"


It's a tough decision to make and don't pray to be in that kind of position. But if he is sure of his wife's faithfulness and respect, he should give it to her and reach an agreement that she would contribute part of d income for some months to a purse with which his bro would either Start a biz or go overseas for an msc.
YEAH BUT THIS IS A FOUR SIDED COIN, ITS EITHER
1) HE PRESENTS THE WOMAN AND WHEN SHE STARTS EARNING BIG SHE WILL BECOME THE DON OF THE HOUSE.
2) HE PRESENTS THE WIFE BUT EVEN THOUGH SHE START EARNING BIG SHE IS STILL LOYAL. WHICH SEEMS FEASIBLE.
3) HE PRESENTS HIS BRO AND WHEN HE STARTS GETTING HIS DOUGH HE TELL HIS BROTHER TO FU*CK OFF
4) HE PRESENTS HIS BRO FOR THE JOB AND THE BRO STILL REMEMBERS HIM EVEN WHEN HE STARTS EARNING BIG. THIS TOO SEEMS FEASIBLE SINCE THE OP SAID THAT THEY NO LONGER HAVE PARENTS SO ITS NORMAL THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO BE CLOSER NOW.
I SUPPORT THE MOTION THAT THE MAN SHOULD GIVE HIS BRO THE JOB. ABEG MAKE HE NOR GIVE THEM MAKE HE CON GIVE ME JOOR ME SILL DEY LOOK FOR JOB OH...

1 Like

Re: My Brother Or My Wife, Who Should I Pick? by hayorbaami: 10:15am On Jul 20, 2014
Its funny how many assume only a woman misbehaves when she becomes rich. Don't men misbehave too when they 'arrive'? What makes us so certain that the brother will become loyal forever? What makes us so sure brother will agree or eventually fulfil the terms of establishing a business for the wife or giving a percentage to his brother. Its easier to give the wife the job with a clause than doing the same to a full grown man. Also, the husband's future is with his wife and kids NOT his brother. This same brother will move on tomorrow with another woman and start his own family which would obviously be his priority. Once the bro starts earning his money, he'd leave your house and move on. Except you married a monster, there's no way your woman will not use the money for the benefit of you and the kids.

I'm certain no wife would think twice before giving the job to her husband if she were to be in this situation. I don't know why it has to be different with some men. Must it all be about ego, insecurities rather than common sense.

7 Likes

Re: My Brother Or My Wife, Who Should I Pick? by youngice(m): 10:21am On Jul 20, 2014
Matttthew:
N you dat know abt it, can you please lecture us..... ... MARRIED TO YOUR WORDS....... In between op, tell him to take it to God in prayer , Abi?
finished

1 Like

Re: My Brother Or My Wife, Who Should I Pick? by helphelp: 10:21am On Jul 20, 2014
AdeniyiA: it's not advisable for a couple to work in the same office. d reasonable choice is ur brother


Sense far from you walahi

3 Likes

Re: My Brother Or My Wife, Who Should I Pick? by Nobody: 10:23am On Jul 20, 2014
.

12 Likes

Re: My Brother Or My Wife, Who Should I Pick? by freecocoa(f): 10:29am On Jul 20, 2014
Why not present both and let the person pick the more qualified one since you are torn although we all know the right one to pick is the wife but as usual, the men will never admit it, smh.

1 Like

Re: My Brother Or My Wife, Who Should I Pick? by chinedujazzy(m): 10:30am On Jul 20, 2014
Send ur brother for the work,let ur wife take care of the family,let your brother build himself and his own family,he will b indebted to you and the burden gets reduced for you as he gets off your roof! Choose your brother my dear !
Re: My Brother Or My Wife, Who Should I Pick? by AtheistD(m): 10:33am On Jul 20, 2014
Who is more suited tot he role and more likely to do the best job there? No point putting forward a candidate if that candidate is not as good as the other.

If both are suitable then I would go for the brother. Unless the wife has been actively planning and seeking employment (like the brother) I see no reason why she should get the role. If she has been actively seeking employment too then it should be based on a discussion with both to map career progression and who would benefit better from the job.
Re: My Brother Or My Wife, Who Should I Pick? by Nobody: 10:36am On Jul 20, 2014
chinedujazzy: Send ur brother for the work,let ur wife take care of the family,let your brother build himself and his own family,he will b indebted to you and the burden gets reduced for you as he gets off your roof! Choose your brother my dear !


If the case is reversed and the wife needs to choose between her jobless Husband and her jobless Brother. Who would you advice her to choose. Pls. be sincere.

5 Likes

Re: My Brother Or My Wife, Who Should I Pick? by Cecediva(f): 10:40am On Jul 20, 2014
Let his brother take the job,his wife can get another job later. moreover his brother will always contribute to the family. That work will be stressful for his wife and thereby not having enough time to care for her children.

2 Likes

Re: My Brother Or My Wife, Who Should I Pick? by Daniel058(m): 10:41am On Jul 20, 2014
His brother mehn! Man is always the mainstay of every farmily...
Re: My Brother Or My Wife, Who Should I Pick? by emiye(m): 10:44am On Jul 20, 2014
This is difficult, if it were me, i will simply call my brother and have a long discussion with him, and tell him he will have to concede at least 1/3 of his salary for the first 12 months of employment, 1.e 200,000 monthly.. A greater part of the money will be used to empower my wife, possibly in setting up a business ( My brother will be told to mentally assume he will earn 400,000 monthly. At the end of the 12 months, My brother can give whatever voluntarily. My wife will painfully be kept out of this deal.


Caveat: For the above to be implemented, i must have assessed my brother and perceive a strong possibility he will keep to the terms of the deal.
Re: My Brother Or My Wife, Who Should I Pick? by knightsTempler: 10:45am On Jul 20, 2014
Op, The answer is starring your friend right in front of him. Does he really need to be confuse about who to pick?

The wife without a shadow of doubt.

3 Likes

Re: My Brother Or My Wife, Who Should I Pick? by tintingz(m): 10:46am On Jul 20, 2014
His brother.

His brother need to start building his own career, start his own family which the wife has already be into.

Giving your brother the job will make the family ties more stronger, the wife can divorce this said man and forget about him but brothers can fight/ have misunderstanding and still come back as blood no matter what.

What he should do is talk to the brother about both of them(the said man and brother) putting money together to fund a business for the wife, at least the brother did something positive in return.

2 Likes

Re: My Brother Or My Wife, Who Should I Pick? by Rooneyboy(m): 10:48am On Jul 20, 2014
.
Re: My Brother Or My Wife, Who Should I Pick? by Rooneyboy(m): 10:49am On Jul 20, 2014
maingwaest: His wife o cos whatever she is earning ll be brought back home for their use or is it his meager 60 thousand that he ll use to take care of his family? When the kids start attending school and he discovers that his salary cannot pay their skul fee, reality ll dawn cos then their uncle ll tell him no money to borrow cos his new wife's bro needs money to start up a new business,that time eye's go clear but e go don de too late.

It is statements like this that sends married men to their early grave, the pomposity in ur statement is sooooo glaring; u don't have such an amount as monthly salary yet and u are sounding this way, u husband to be would be signing his death certificate with his own hands on his wedding day.

...........Back to topic, So sad but true, this is just the way the average naija lady reasons and talks............ Would surely give the job to my bro,his a man and men do understand .

4 Likes

Re: My Brother Or My Wife, Who Should I Pick? by ifycent2: 10:51am On Jul 20, 2014
if u ar having double mind abt de job offer... ..
u can just offer de job to me.....


all joined...
Re: My Brother Or My Wife, Who Should I Pick? by emiye(m): 10:52am On Jul 20, 2014
For those who recommend the wife, they could be right, but it is not straightforward because, there are lots of ladies who finds it difficult to respect their husband once they earn way more than their husband. embarassed They just cant help it, i have heard ladies tell me that severally, some will not agree until they are placed in such position, the real attitude shows. Traditionally, the man should be the main breadwinner.

1 Like

Re: My Brother Or My Wife, Who Should I Pick? by Nobody: 11:00am On Jul 20, 2014
The wife please. She is your immediate family and your most dependable partner. If he wants peace, then his wife first.

2 Likes

Re: My Brother Or My Wife, Who Should I Pick? by OCTAVO: 11:02am On Jul 20, 2014
His brother!
Re: My Brother Or My Wife, Who Should I Pick? by Ishilove: 11:03am On Jul 20, 2014
If you don't know who to pick, I have a cousin who studied chem eng. He will be perfect for the role.
Re: My Brother Or My Wife, Who Should I Pick? by bakynes(m): 11:03am On Jul 20, 2014
If I were in this man's shoes, I will tell my friend to split the salary into two 400k for my brother and 200k to be credited into a joint account which bears my name and my wife's name for a period of 5years in which I will use d money to setup a business for me and my wife but if this setup cannot be possible, I will rather give it to my brother because there is a 90% chance if a woman earns more than you she will boss over you in the house whether she is a good woman with good attitude or not besides the Job is so demanding she won't have time to do her role has a wife and a mother.
Re: My Brother Or My Wife, Who Should I Pick? by josh830: 11:04am On Jul 20, 2014
I wil give it to ma wife, then after month end I wil collect 300k and give it to ma brother

2 Likes

Re: My Brother Or My Wife, Who Should I Pick? by chuxyz(m): 11:05am On Jul 20, 2014
afrobaby: You people will not kill me on nairaland, His brother my foot. What can 60k take care of, oh, I see, when the brother gets the job, he will give the salary to him abi? Abeg, make I hear word jare, whether the wife earns higher than you or not, if she wants to be rude, she will be, gbam.

A woman that has been taking care of his brother for 2 years, and now he wants to betray her. Lest I forget, a certain age will come when a woman especially with kids wll not be able to secure a trainee job again, abeg, let him pick his wife. I don't know what some people take marriages for. Marriage is worse when the funds in the home is too little, I wonder how they are even coping with 60k in the first place.

Oh, oh, oh, I trust my Michael, speedily without a thought, na him go even edit and submit my CV. Afterall,the money is still coming into his immediate Family. Afterall, eni ti o ni eru lo ni eru.

The brother na guy, opportunities will still come, at least he doesn't have a family to take care of now.
The brother needs the job more than the woman. The woman is settled(with her family) but the guy needs that job to start life. If the brother misses that opportunity, he might never meet another in future. But if the lady misses it, she is married already. I'm a man and i know what it is to stay under someone's roof, feeding and depending for money. How long will that last? If i ask you, will you date a guy who is living under someone's roof, feeding and collecting pocket money. Haba, person dey pass something na. The wife has achieved all she needs to achieve - she's married! The brother is a man, he needs start his own life. Use your church mind judge am my dear. Today na sunday o

3 Likes

Re: My Brother Or My Wife, Who Should I Pick? by Jman06(m): 11:06am On Jul 20, 2014
SeaGold:

Present his brother? The next six month the brother will be like: "senior bro, I have arrived I want to take a wife''. And when he marries, it all end cos wify will constantly reminds him that building their home so pass while his magnanimous elder brother wrangle in penury
This is not true. I know many families where only one of many brothers is carrying the rest, including their families and despite having his own nuclear family. So, that sentiment about op's brother getting married and the wife stopping him from helping his brother does not hold water.
Re: My Brother Or My Wife, Who Should I Pick? by Maonyz(f): 11:08am On Jul 20, 2014
koastar: Good day all, pls I need your advice on this issue.

A friend asked me this and I don't know what to tell him. According to him he was asked to present someone that read chemical engineering in an oil company by a close friend of his who works there.

My friend is an accountant and presently earns 60k per month where he works. He has a wife who is not working and a kid.

His wife is a chemical engineer by training and his only brother is also unemployed who read chemical engineering as well. His brother has been living with them for 2yrs now after his NYSC without job. My friend and his brother lost their parents while they were still very young and they are the only children of their parents.

My friend is now confused who to present to his friend for the job, his wife or brother. Your advice pls.

The salary for the oil job is 600k per month excluding allowances.


When people ask questions, it becomes clearer to me that people don't know the real meaning of marriage. People don't know how intent and high what exists between hubby and wife is.

If that friend who is confused is a chemical engineer and doesn't have a job, who will he present between himself and his brother? Himself? Or his brother?

If the answer is his brother, that means he loves his brother more than himself and should go ahead and present his brother even in this scenario but if his answer is himself, then why ask this question? What's the difference between him and his wife?

In everything a man does in life, his wife(not girlfriend, not mother, not children) comes first and same goes for women too. If people understand this. Making choices will be easier. Your wife is you and you are your wife. If you want the best for you, it means you want the best for your wife. If the choice is between you and your wife, then sacrifice for her( the bible likens your relationship with her to that of Jesus Christ and us, the church)

Again, you are doing a job of 60k? don't you think your wife needs that 600k job for you people to have a better life(please don't even mention that she will not respect you again if she earns more than you cus that's the thoughts of myopic, mediocre and inferior men)? Am sure your wife has been managing with you because 60k is small for a family man in the world today!

If your brother is the one in your shoes will he pick you or pick his wife? If after you give the job to your brother and you lose yours by chance, will your brother surely carter for your home? Will your wife ever forgive you?

Oga, please, without thinking twice, give your wife the job, let your brother understand politely that between him and your wife, the choice has been made by God Himself. Another opportunity will come for him. Thank you!


Note: you may politely talk to your wife and see if she agrees so you guys will save sth out of her salary over time to set your brother up. This isn't a condition. Pamper her to agree. Any good woman will accept to help her brother-in-law.

3 Likes

Re: My Brother Or My Wife, Who Should I Pick? by OLAJADON: 11:15am On Jul 20, 2014
alutacontinua: He should explain to both of them and involve them in his decision making. cool
i dnt support d idea of him involving dem in d decision making, d choice is his to make den wat ever he decides then he can tell the two of den
that can break up the family if u were d wife or d broda nd u had a job of 600k wunt u long 4 it xcluding allowance, but if he makes d decision himself and let d two of them see 4rm his own perspective then that should solve the problem.

1 Like

Re: My Brother Or My Wife, Who Should I Pick? by DonaldGenes(m): 11:15am On Jul 20, 2014
Tallesty1: His Brother
Take your brother
Re: My Brother Or My Wife, Who Should I Pick? by arshavineering(m): 11:15am On Jul 20, 2014
afrobaby: You people will not kill me on nairaland, His brother my foot. What can 60k take care of, oh, I see, when the brother gets the job, he will give the salary to him abi? Abeg, make I hear word jare, whether the wife earns higher than you or not, if she wants to be rude, she will be, gbam.

A woman that has been taking care of his brother for 2 years, and now he wants to betray her. Lest I forget, a certain age will come when a woman especially with kids wll not be able to secure a trainee job again, abeg, let him pick his wife. I don't know what some people take marriages for. Marriage is worse when the funds in the home is too little, I wonder how they are even coping with 60k in the first place.

Oh, oh, oh, I trust my Michael, speedily without a thought, na him go even edit and submit my CV. Afterall,the money is still coming into his immediate Family. Afterall, eni ti o ni eru lo ni eru.

The brother na guy, opportunities will still come, at least he doesn't have a family to take care of now.
you sound as if the condition doesn't require any consideration. your Micheal won't consider the situation and edit your cv if only and only if you have corked him in a bottle.women and claiming right to everything.
am not saying he should give the job to his brother oooo, but don't sound as though the situation doesn't require proper and thorough consideration.
Re: My Brother Or My Wife, Who Should I Pick? by condralbede(m): 11:15am On Jul 20, 2014
AdeniyiA: it's not advisable for a couple to work in the same office. d reasonable choice is ur brother
Are u sure u read this postNawa ooo

1 Like

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (Reply)

Nudity In Front Of Children.. Right Or Wrong ,? / Man Chases His Wife Out For Allegedly Calling Him An Animal In Public (vid) / 92-Yr-Old Man Marries 22-Yr-Old Woman

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 80
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.