snazzylove:

Ok I get d gist. What does the guy want sef? For you 2 leave your hubby
and then he leaves his wife, then be joined together in ...matrimony?
(Fill d blank space for me abeg) I can't stop laffing.

@ayaomoade
@mamateniola1
you dey
mind him? I don't even know what he wants. God forbid o. Join fire

he
says he owes me his life and how can he ever repay me. that his wifey
is just reaping where she did not sow. how that one take concern
me.......his numbers too plenty. i don block tire.

So someone must have a sad story to tell before their marriage can be considered real?
What if they don't want to share?
Na by force?
I'm pretty sure that any ardent follower of this section must have been touched by one person's story or another.
Do they need to go ahead and start sharing their own sob stories(which they've probably gotten tips on how to handle from other people's plight)
Just to make readers happy?




Anyway
@godmystrength. You said your husband accepted this guy's friend request on bbm after you deleted him?
That shows he's very very keen to know every single conversation that goes on between both of you. This maybe because he feels the guy is sooo into you. He doesn't want to take any chances.
I suggest you tell him what's happened the last few times the guy contacted you.
If he stumbles on any new info he didn't know before,it might seem like you were hiding stuff from him and that could translate to you falling gradually for the guy.

Don't let someone who doesn't respect his marriage ruin yours.
I pity his wife.
She lives under your shadow. I'm sure he must be comparing her to you in everything she does. Too bad.

Lets all kiss and make up..Bygones are bygones.
Let's agree to disagree and still respect where we are all coming from.
Different strokes,different folks.

Whoever wants to share,please don't be scared to share,no one will judge you.
Even if advise given is harsh,it's cos the person is trying to relay something to you and is frustrated about your plight on your behalf.
Take everything as constructive criticism,pick what you think will work for you and ignore the rest.

I know how easy it is to want to reply someone you feel has maybe slighted you but exercising self control is key..IGNORE BUTTON! Maybe students of face front find it easier..I'm now an expert

We will keep loving and supporting each other here..


@Godmystrength
No epistle for you..Cut the guy off totally..He's being quite self absorbed,wanting to destroy 2 families.Hes lost a child,he should focus on grieving with his spouse. I'm sure she's very lonely and heart broken.I feel soo sorry for her.
So he wants you to leave your spouse and move in with him and live happily ever after?
If things go wrong nko? Like a biz deal doesn't click? Will he label you a destiny killer?

Your hubby is hyper vigilant as usual,it will take time but you need it sorted. He has to CALM DOWN.Adding people on your phone? Not very nice.
Tell him about this guy,and use that avenue to ask him not to add or reject requests on your phone without speaking to you first.
I say tell him cos this man harassing you is unpredictable and you don't want to be accused of anything untoward.Tomorrow now,he will land Infront of your gate professing love.
I've told you to post a pic of you let's see...you must be hot like fire!

@Fynbabe,
How now?Come back and share if you want to..

cococandy: @godmystrength. You said your husband accepted this guy's friend request on bbm after you deleted him?
That shows he's very very keen to know every single conversation that goes on between both of you. This maybe because he feels the guy is sooo into you. He doesn't want to take any chances.
I suggest you tell him what's happened the last few times the guy contacted you.
If he stumbles on any new info he didn't know before,it might seem like you were hiding stuff from him and that could translate to you falling gradually for the guy.

Don't let someone who doesn't respect his marriage ruin yours.
I pity his wife.
She lives under your shadow. I'm sure he must be comparing her to you in everything she does. Too bad.

You are right.....Just that he is just a funny guy. unpredictable. telling him might even cause more harm than good...... this is a guy that, if you tell him someone is disturbing you, can blame you and say you are the one that put yourself in a position where someone can have the audacity to ''toast'' you. As if you even need to do anything before anyone ''toasts'' you......

hispinkolo: @Godmystrength
No epistle for you..Cut the guy off totally..He's being quite self absorbed,wanting to destroy 2 families.Hes lost a child,he should focus on grieving with his spouse. I'm sure she's very lonely and heart broken.I feel soo sorry for her.
So he wants you to leave your spouse and move in with him and live happily ever after?
If things go wrong nko? Like a biz deal doesn't click? Will he label you a destiny killer?

Your hubby is hyper vigilant as usual,it will take time but you need it sorted. He has to CALM DOWN.Adding people on your phone? Not very nice.
Tell him about this guy,and use that avenue to ask him not to add or reject requests on your phone without speaking to you first.
I say tell him cos this man harassing you is unpredictable and you don't want to be accused of anything untoward.Tomorrow now,he will land Infront of your gate professing love.
I've told you to post a pic of you let's see...you must be hot like fire!

I already cut him off. i am the one that went to look for trouble by sending that msg to him. He lost his phone and all contacts (maybe the reason for the break in stalking). Now that he has my number, na long thing. Hubby knows about him o and he just laughs it off when i give him gist saying na the guy no sharp and smart for letting me go. that one man's loss is another man's gain.....But most times, i can see behind the laughs.....lmao @ bolded love wa tintin

Purecotton&toyescole& anyother new poster,
Hello and welcome!!
I go soon write encouraging epistles for you(better run OOO).

People,look into their mata and say sontin abegggg..it's just one or 2 people that have answered?

@Godmystrength
Post pic and give us inspiration naaaaaaaa

@aisha2
When temper is cool come back..there's something I want to show you..but after you're not angry?

Well if you want to tell him,you can still go ahead to tell him the measures you've put in place to ensure the guy doesn't reach you anymore.

At least he was the one who added the guy on your bbm,he can't blame you if the dude keeps chatting you up.

It is well sha.

Godmystrength: You are right.....Just that he is just a funny guy. unpredictable. telling him might even cause more harm than good...... this is a guy that, if you tell him someone is disturbing you, can blame you and say you are the one that put yourself in a position where someone can have the audacity to ''toast'' you. As if you even need to do anything before anyone ''toasts'' you......

hispinkolo: Purecotton&toyescole& anyother new poster,
Hello and welcome!!
I go soon write encouraging epistles for you(better run OOO).

People,look into their mata and say sontin abegggg..it's just one or 2 people that have answered?

@Godmystrength
Post pic and give us inspiration naaaaaaaa

@aisha2
When temper is cool come back..there's something I want to show you..but after you're not angry?

My temper is cool I just don't have time for nonsense or the energy to pretend it's fine when it's not. 20 plus pages of decent conversation politely agreeing to disagree and some one comes rubbing her mouth.

Moving on, I dey kampe, I am never angry jare just no bullshit or pretence

Hispinkolo, my padi, padi how far? Sure, I would be back with more jare. Aint leaving the thread for anyone!

Abeg make una no vex oh. I don't blame that guy that sang 'Kolomental' *singing this party eeh na for crazy people make you mental. Chai, women. Please don't carry over the epistle abeg. Am enjoying this thread sliently and so are many others cos is so real. Aisha2 I respect a lot in this nairaland but pls don't disengage yourself from this. If, here's is secondary na senior we go dey call you oh no fall my breast jor

I mean disengage yourself by showing seniority abeg

nwababy: I mean disengage yourself by showing seniority abeg

This matter is already closed naa why re you reopening it. Msteeww.

hispinkolo: Purecotton&toyescole& anyother new poster,
Hello and welcome!!
I go soon write encouraging epistles for you(better run OOO).

People,look into their mata and say sontin abegggg..it's just one or 2 people that have answered?

@Godmystrength
Post pic and give us inspiration naaaaaaaa

@aisha2
When temper is cool come back..there's something I want to show you..but after you're not angry?

Ok o. Looking forward to your epistle.

@bafm,
How now?Many people have spoken to you and I agree,please just watch closely and try to reign yourself in.I know it is difficult when you see something upsetting..your blood go just de boil to confront .It is well.
While hubby may be guilty,de observe am..if he's up to something,you will definitely find out.But in the meantime,this is a wakeup call to start plugging whatever gaps are in your home.Time to go back to the drawing board and have proper discussion..Ask him if he's unhappy,if there's anything that would make your home stronger,etc while you also voice your own.
Good luck dear.

@ Purecotton
Once upon a time a girl I know fell in love with a guy but she didn't live in Nigeria.The guy was deep into his job back in Nigeria and progressing oo.The girl suggested for him to relocate to another country and was met with stiff resistance.Then she started a campaign to try and convince him,she even went to the extent of sending his cv and eventually got him a sponsor for his visa.Family kicked hard against it,labelled the girl wicked,life snuffer,they said the guy won't do well,people abroad are suffering,people abroad are gnashing teeth etc

The guy eventually moved.First year was so tough,at times they cried and wondered if they'd made a mistake.after a while things started looking up and today stable job,nice house,basically having a good life. The same people that were abusing the girl are the ones claiming that it was Gods plan for the guy to be abroad bla bla and lining up for vacation in their home.

I understand why you feel bitter and angry cos he's not appreciative.Perhaps he compares your success to his and feels emasculated and that's why his family is insisting you return to Nigeria. I'm sure you are wise enough to make a decision that's best for you.
You have to find out what is scaring your man?Whats holding him back? Why is he so reluctant?You both are now married and all hands should be on deck to better the family.No space for pride here.Why is he dodging interviews?Does he have any concrete reasons?Find out what the naysayers are filling his head with and counter it with objective reasons.
I cannot advice you to leave your job and go into abyss without anything to fall back on.Before you move,please get a job oo!
If he's scared of being jobless if he relocates,he should start applying for jobs from Nigeria,take a month off and do internship to beef up his cv,spend a bit of time exploring the lifestyle etc.He may like it.
Or does he feel a woman abroad with a good job will be acting tough cos of the laws in place?As per fear that he won't be able to exert control over you?
It takes a man who is very secure and comfortable with his life to be proud of his wife and her achievements especially when she's earning way above him.Some people tend to believe that if a woman earns more,it means she's wearing the pants in the Home and won't be submissive naija style.
So you really need to know what's up and start tackling one by one. Don't forget to let him be the man and handle his responsibilities no matter how small,so that you don't fall into a trap and start funding his lifestyle. If he gets used to it,you will be finished and It will only fuel resentment in you and cause you to disrespect him.

Letting go of grudges normally happens when you both talk and he realises his mistakes,says sorry and starts behaving better.If that is not an option,you have to look to Jesu,the author and finisher of your faith ..otherwise,you will have wrinkles from frustration and anger.Please,make sure you voice your pain out to him and make sure he understands that cutting you down Infront of people only makes him look bad.you both are a team and are supposed to build each other up.
Your marriage is too young for you both to be apart..

This is time to bond and enjoy the butterflies,time to knack akpako on floor oo,table,hanging from barbed wire,inside bar beach . Time to learn each other well and draw boundaries..early years are so important.
Long distance sucks,no need to give room to devil.At least regular visits to hold body and soul together till you're both sorted.

Man shall not live by Vaseline alone.......

@Aisha..when I sharpen my fingers well,I'll be back so we can discuss

@Fynbabe..I dey kamkpe. We dey wait you oo.

Wow, una welldone o.I've been blessed by all ya stories. God bless our homes Amen.

Nice one @hispinkolo

Hmmmmmmmm!

hello house. you all have a wonderful weekend. it's my birthday today

Happy birthday sweetie. God bless and keep you

Godmystrength: hello house. you all have a wonderful weekend. it's my birthday today

cococandy: Happy birthday sweetie. God bless and keep you

thanks babe. amen

Godmystrength: hello house. you all have a wonderful weekend. it's my birthday today

Happy Birthday dear,as you add another year,may all aspects of your life be filled with blessings and favours.

Have a splendid day.

Happy birthday @ Godismystrenght

Happy Birthday Godmystrength more of God's blessings.

Godmystrength: hello house. you all have a wonderful weekend. it's my birthday today

Happy birthday, wishing you many beautiful years ahead.

Ahhh this thing no wan post oo. I've written happy birthday 3 times.

HAPPPYYYY BIRTHDAYYYY DEAREST!!!!! May God grant you your heart desires

HBD dear! LL&P + very many more years ahead in good health.

Send our rice & cake. We no dey joke with food here

Godmystrength: hello house. you all have a wonderful weekend. it's my birthday today

Godmystrength: hello house. you all have a wonderful weekend. it's my birthday today

Happy birthday dear. Wish u all of God's blessins in abundance

Godmystrength: hello house. you all have a wonderful weekend. it's my birthday today

Happy birthday dearie

I dont know what to do. i have tried separating from my husband but my dad refused to allow me come home. i honestly tired of my marriage because my husband is not nice to me at all. it is as if i forced him into this marriage. This is someone that pratically joined me in begging my dad to allow me marry him. I just feel hopeless and useless. i dont even have a job to allow me move out and stay on my own.

i know my husband is also cheating on me. he keeps denying it and he is also a wicked liar.
I am am always depressed. My mum came visiting some weeks back and she asked me what happenes to my smiles. That she can see am not happy.

I am to be blamed, i married him against my dad'S wish and cause of tribe differences

diegs: I dont know what to do. i have tried separating from my husband but my dad refused to allow me come home. i honestly tired of my marriage because my husband is not nice to me at all. it is as if i forced him into this marriage. This is someone that pratically joined me in begging my dad to allow me marry him. I just feel hopeless and useless. i dont even have a job to allow me move out and stay on my own.

i know my husband is also cheating on me. he keeps denying it and he is also a wicked liar.
I am am always depressed. My mum came visiting some weeks back and she asked me what happenes to my smiles. That she can see am not happy.

I am to be blamed, i married him against my dad'S wish and cause of tribe differences

So sorry about your situation. The depression is very important and shouldnt be overlooked or taken lightly.
Have you spoken to your husband about how happy he is making you feel?
As regards the cheating, are you sure about it?
Have you explained to your father in detail what the issues are.
Of the other things that he is doing to make you unhappy do you care to share here as some people may have gone through similar and be able to advise.

chaircover:

So sorry about your situation. The depression is very important and shouldnt be overlooked or taken lightly.
Have you spoken to your husband about how happy he is making you feel?
As regards the cheating, are you sure about it?
Have you explained to your father in detail what the issues are.
Of the other things that he is doing to make you unhappy do you care to share here as some people may have gone through similar and be able to advise.

No i havent spoken to him of recent. I keep to myself. I honestly dont know how to make him happy. My dad asked me to sort any marital issues that every one once had a problem and he cant interfer since he is not of same tribe. He doesnt know how they handle family issues.

My hysband can be nice today and tomorrow be annoying esoecially when his ex calls. That is when he changes. Only if i can get his ex out.