satope1:

Yeah...and I was just butressing your point. I am transgender by the way...

I know you're a male ...thanks anyway....

Mhizdimplez:


I know you're a male ...thanks anyway....

How did you know that?

satope1: How did you know that?

I guess I just guessed right....

Mhizdimplez:

I guess I just guessed right....

ok o

wow!
I have learnt a lot from this thread. I just started reading this thread last week and every page has been incredibly educative.
A very big thank you goes to all the women who have taken time to write their experiences in their marital homes. You have taught those who are almost there a lot.
Marriage is an institution ordained by God and i must say gold is never found on the surface, you must dig deep to find gold and all rare gems. In the same vein, everything good is a process. May God bless every writer, i enjoyed the responses. There are mature women here, i wonder what i have been doing reading only fp stories.
I am about to get married and it's an inter-tribal marriage. MIL is good, i have no problem with her but she literally eats off the mouth of her pastor who just has no reason for not wanting the wedding to take place. FIL has no problem and does not go to the same church with MIL so he does not take the pastor serious. My fiance does not believe the pastor and wants the wedding to take place asap. The pastor has never met me, he only called my fiance and asked him my state of origin, what church i attend but went ahead to tell my fiance's mom that he doesn't agree with the wedding.
I recently found out that sometimes he asks my fiance for money. i really do not know his reason for disagreeing becos he won't say even MIL has asked him but he can't give any reason. The issue now is MIL wants her pastor to be in agreement before anything is done and she is a strong force to be reckoned with in the family. My issue is with this pastor (who i have never met) who i believe is manipulating MIL

@ Sofun, you have to be steadfast in prayers cos pastor ish is really a big problem in our house hold now. I guess everyone has a story to tell. I didn't want to share before but I guess I was been selfish reading others and not sharing mine. I dated my fiance for 11yrs now. Reason for the time wasted was he's inability to get a reasonable job(he was in Insurance coy) and it yield little or nothing. I was working but my work was able to sustain I and him when needed(he doesn't ask me for money I just knew he needed money and give him). I had wanted to get married twice in the first 7years of our R/ship but I couldn't leave him I love him so much and still in love with him; so, I decided that against all odds I will stick with him. He called me after 5yrs of our R/ship and told me that if am not willing to wait for him that I should marry that he couldn't bare to put my life on hold for him. I told him that am willing to wait (thinking that waiting is easy)5,6,7yrs nothing. I prayed, fasted and cried he reminded me that he told me that it wouldn't be easy journey but I was just myopic thinking love alone can lead us through not knowing love works hand in hand with patience. I decided that if am willing to wait for the one I love that I will sew a cloth like patience and wear it all the time. Sorry I got carried away hope am not boring people with my write up. Have decided to bore it out today. He did hse certification and went to many interview yet no out come. Then, 2yrs ago, he did another certification and God blessed him with a good job this year. In the first quarter of this year, we wanted to do my Introduction.We Went to his elder bro's house and talked about how and when to fix the date. The brother told the elder that's suppose to come with them about my fiance plans to get married and the date we fixed and he was like is it not Papababy that got a job barely 5months ago that wants to get married. When the immediate bro called us and told me that their uncle said I shld wait from now to dec haa. I cried and even unintentionally started shouting on the bro(if not cos I am now like a family, they will say am bad wife)My fiance was mad and stood up for us(he's the last born) I had to start calming him oh. It was chaotic that day. This an elder that doesn't know the genesis of how and when the job was gotten but, I believe that all things worketh together for those who trust in the lord. Though, some days am moody and all that seeing how my friends own goes smoothly without issue. But I guess this world is a personal thing( to each his or her own) Am been steadfast that I will share good news soonest. Wish me luck. N.B: I type with my phone pardon any grammatical error abeg

For the female singles on this thread, please and please...


DO NOT MARRY A MAN WITHOUT BALLS.

IF he cannot take decision on and of his own, you are in for a long and tough ride.

Prevention they say is better than cure.

@nwababy u will eat d fruit of ur labour.. Anything in any form dat want to block ur happiness will b removed.. Pls do share ur joyful news when due..*tnks*

nwababy: @ Sofun, you have to be steadfast in prayers cos pastor ish is really a big problem in our house hold now. I guess everyone has a story to tell. I didn't want to share before but I guess I was been selfish reading others and not sharing mine. I dated my fiance for 11yrs now. Reason for the time wasted was he's inability to get a reasonable job(he was in Insurance coy) and it yield little or nothing. I was working but my work was able to sustain I and him when needed(he doesn't ask me for money I just knew he needed money and give him). I had wanted to get married twice in the first 7years of our R/ship but I couldn't leave him I love him so much and still in love with him; so, I decided that against all odds I will stick with him. He called me after 5yrs of our R/ship and told me that if am not willing to wait for him that I should marry that he couldn't bare to put my life on hold for him. I told him that am willing to wait (thinking that waiting is easy)5,6,7yrs nothing. I prayed, fasted and cried he reminded me that he told me that it wouldn't be easy journey but I was just myopic thinking love alone can lead us through not knowing love works hand in hand with patience. I decided that if am willing to wait for the one I love that I will sew a cloth like patience and wear it all the time. Sorry I got carried away hope am not boring people with my write up. Have decided to bore it out today. He did hse certification and went to many interview yet no out come. Then, 2yrs ago, he did another certification and God blessed him with a good job this year. In the first quarter of this year, we wanted to do my Introduction.We Went to his elder bro's house and talked about how and when to fix the date. The brother told the elder that's suppose to come with them about my fiance plans to get married and the date we fixed and he was like is it not Papababy that got a job barely 5months ago that wants to get married. When the immediate bro called us and told me that their uncle said I shld wait from now to dec haa. I cried and even unintentionally started shouting on the bro(if not cos I am now like a family, they will say am bad wife)My fiance was mad and stood up for us(he's the last born) I had to start calming him oh. It was chaotic that day. This an elder that doesn't know the genesis of how and when the job was gotten but, I believe that all things worketh together for those who trust in the lord. Though, some days am moody and all that seeing how my friends own goes smoothly without issue. But I guess this world is a personal thing( to each his or her own) Am been steadfast that I will share good news soonest. Wish me luck. N.B: I type with my phone pardon any grammatical error abeg

I wish something more than luck; God's favour

It is well with you. You will rejoice soon. I am happy you & your bobo is speaking in one voice

Good luck to you! May God make the day a reality(Amen).

nwababy: @ Sofun, you have to be steadfast in prayers cos pastor ish is really a big problem in our house hold now. I guess everyone has a story to tell. I didn't want to share before but I guess I was been selfish reading others and not sharing mine. I dated my fiance for 11yrs now. Reason for the time wasted was he's inability to get a reasonable job(he was in Insurance coy) and it yield little or nothing. I was working but my work was able to sustain I and him when needed(he doesn't ask me for money I just knew he needed money and give him). I had wanted to get married twice in the first 7years of our R/ship but I couldn't leave him I love him so much and still in love with him; so, I decided that against all odds I will stick with him. He called me after 5yrs of our R/ship and told me that if am not willing to wait for him that I should marry that he couldn't bare to put my life on hold for him. I told him that am willing to wait (thinking that waiting is easy)5,6,7yrs nothing. I prayed, fasted and cried he reminded me that he told me that it wouldn't be easy journey but I was just myopic thinking love alone can lead us through not knowing love works hand in hand with patience. I decided that if am willing to wait for the one I love that I will sew a cloth like patience and wear it all the time. Sorry I got carried away hope am not boring people with my write up. Have decided to bore it out today. He did hse certification and went to many interview yet no out come. Then, 2yrs ago, he did another certification and God blessed him with a good job this year. In the first quarter of this year, we wanted to do my Introduction.We Went to his elder bro's house and talked about how and when to fix the date. The brother told the elder that's suppose to come with them about my fiance plans to get married and the date we fixed and he was like is it not Papababy that got a job barely 5months ago that wants to get married. When the immediate bro called us and told me that their uncle said I shld wait from now to dec haa. I cried and even unintentionally started shouting on the bro(if not cos I am now like a family, they will say am bad wife)My fiance was mad and stood up for us(he's the last born) I had to start calming him oh. It was chaotic that day. This an elder that doesn't know the genesis of how and when the job was gotten but, I believe that all things worketh together for those who trust in the lord. Though, some days am moody and all that seeing how my friends own goes smoothly without issue. But I guess this world is a personal thing( to each his or her own) Am been steadfast that I will share good news soonest. Wish me luck. N.B: I type with my phone pardon any grammatical error abeg

@ sofunmikamgbo,that pastor is the enemy in your life.
There are people just designated to be clogs in the wheel of others' progress.
That's what he is to you.

Tell your fiance to ask his mom to ask the pastor who has NEVER set eyes on you before what specific reason he has for not wanting your marriage.

Can they please be guided by logic and not some religious mumbo jumbo?
Can your MIL by any chance think for herself and not let the pastor think for her?

Why does your fiance give him money?
Be careful. This guy whoever he is has a stronghold on that family and even your fiance.
He may cause problems for you two in future.

If your fiance can't stand up for himself and say he wants the marriage,I'm afraid there's nothing anyone can do about it.

@ nwababy,if what you said is true and it all happened that way over the years until now when your fiance got a good job,then if he let's someone get in the way of your marriage,feel free to shoot him

I know he hasn't yet. But he shouldn't EVER let anyone trample you in his presence

Ok seriously though. Men listen up! The way you treat your wife/fiancee determines the way those around/your family treat her.
Walking all over her is a sign that they don't respect you and know you can do nothing about it.

Trying to dictate to you who to marry,when to marry and how to live your life isn't love (even if your mother is the culprit)

It's just a sign that they don't trust your judgment and feel they should decide for you.

Stop letting family undermine you.
Advice is good.
Control is different.
If you're a full grown man with balls,you'll ditch your mother's wrapper and take charge of your life.
She'll respect you more in the end.

Amen to all your prayers. @ B I cannot write in details what we went through but he's worth waiting for though he's not perfect. Well, my fiance had to listen to his people though I didn't understand at first. Their reason was for him to save up and all that. Not that we wanted to rush and do everything at the same oh. Every members of his family had to agree with the elder except him. He had to take excuse @ work and travelled to go and talk with them again; when he came back, he told me that he doesn't want to have issue with his people or his people using because of our getting married to have issue. Infact, it wasn't easy cos I made sure (unintentionally oh) and remind him that I wouldn't wait for him forever. He sat me down and told me that if am willing to take the after math of our getting married against their family that he will do it. But, I don't want my own to be different. I don't want to wait all this while and cause problems between siblings. I had to wait since Dec is almost here. He said he's waiting for my mum to come back from Omugo to start reminding his people. So far, he hasn't disappointed me in any way. Just as the brothers said that him alone cannot marry me. 2ndly, I have a friend that's a banker that's going through same but in a different way. She's earning more than the fiance and they agreed to get married without knowing the guy's people are not in support. Reason the guy is the last born and has three elder ones (including 2girls) non of them are married.the guy went with his friends for my friends Introduction but her father told him to come with his people. The fiance told my friend that they will do her introduction and pay her dowry and she agreed thinking is a way of saving money. He cancelled the date of the Introduction giving reasons about his church saying they will have to start marriage course before anything. Their R/ship is a long distant one. So, she travelled to pay the guy a visit(he's still staying in his family house) and the fiance's mother sat her down and told her that they told him to wait for some time but he went behind them to do everything. The guy is soo desperate and wants to rush everything. Now, my friend is thinking probably the guy wants her money.(My friend is not willing to pay for her wedding Lol) she's very angry with the guy for not telling her the truth. She was like how she wish she will meet another man just that there's no time. Meanwhile she's going to 30years this year.

If you ask me, this your friend is not too old to get things right. 30 years to me, is not old @ all. Wish you guys all the best!

nwababy: Amen to all your prayers. @ B I cannot write in details what we went through but he's worth waiting for though he's not perfect. Well, my fiance had to listen to his people though I didn't understand at first. Their reason was for him to save up and all that. Not that we wanted to rush and do everything at the same oh. Every members of his family had to agree with the elder except him. He had to take excuse @ work and travelled to go and talk with them again; when he came back, he told me that he doesn't want to have issue with his people or his people using because of our getting married to have issue. Infact, it wasn't easy cos I made sure (unintentionally oh) and remind him that I wouldn't wait for him forever. He sat me down and told me that if am willing to take the after math of our getting married against their family that he will do it. But, I don't want my own to be different. I don't want to wait all this while and cause problems between siblings. I had to wait since Dec is almost here. He said he's waiting for my mum to come back from Omugo to start reminding his people. So far, he hasn't disappointed me in any way. Just as the brothers said that him alone cannot marry me. 2ndly, I have a friend that's a banker that's going through same but in a different way. She's earning more than the fiance and they agreed to get married without knowing the guy's people are not in support. Reason the guy is the last born and has three elder ones (including 2girls) non of them are married.the guy went with his friends for my friends Introduction but her father told him to come with his people. The fiance told my friend that they will do her introduction and pay her dowry and she agreed thinking is a way of saving money. He cancelled the date of the Introduction giving reasons about his church saying they will have to start marriage course before anything. Their R/ship is a long distant one. So, she travelled to pay the guy a visit(he's still staying in his family house) and the fiance's mother sat her down and told her that they told him to wait for some time but he went behind them to do everything. The guy is soo desperate and wants to rush everything. Now, my friend is thinking probably the guy wants her money.(My friend is not willing to pay for her wedding Lol) she's very angry with the guy for not telling her the truth. She was like how she wish she will meet another man just that there's no time. Meanwhile she's going to 30years this year.

@sufunmikangbo... Its a pity there are too many fake prophets and pastors out there these days. So called 'men of God' who has made themselves 'God of men'. Its such a pity that lots of families and individuals have put thier lives on hold basically on what these 'God of men' tells them. U should talk to ur fiance straight up and discuss everything with him and knw where u stand. If he cant handle this but waits till probably when his mum consents (or wen the pastor gives a go ahead), it means so much. I wish u the best

Hi people,
Just back from a mini vacay with the family..
Will try and contribute small small

Nwababy,
Thanks for sharing..I will be very honest with you.As someone that has the issue of inlaw trying to interfere,unfortunately I see you joining the line.The signs are there,crystal clear. I'll point out to you that it doesn't mean your man or inlaws are bad,nope. I'm just telling you now so that you start EARLY TO DRAW BOUNDARIES.

Red Flag 1 :
I don't want the family to have issues cos of us,there has always been peace and it won't be because of us that quarrelling will start.
This is a common excuse for not manning up,this happens when the man does not want to displease his people,he then toes their path and agrees with whatever they say all in the name of avoiding trouble.This would have been a clear opportunity to draw a line and let them understand it's his life,his decision,whatever anyonelse is saying is a suggestion not a rule.A suggestion which will be discussed with you and a compromise reached.

Red Flag 2:
Papa baby got a job 5 months ago,why should he be getting married..
It's nobody's concern when papababy got job,or how much he's saved.The point is that he has decided to marry a woman who's been there 11 freaking years..There shouldn't be any delay or is papababy begging them for wedding money?The fact that they decided date for you people without even asking your opinion is a MASSIVE SIGN! Enforcing their own date is just a way of showing you who the boss is.BE WARNED!

Red Flag 3:
Are you ready for the aftermath?
This one na everyday excuse.What aftermath?What is the thing that will happen?This was just a way to get you fall in line through guilt.


Red Flag 4:
Waiting for your mom to come back for omugwo b4 reminding his people.
REMINDING abi TELLING?
They obviously think he's a kid who has no backbone or who doesn't know what he wants.This is a clear cut case of people who will DEFINITELY meddle in your affairs.

Now,I urge you to go and read chaircovers first post on this thread about having your husbands ear.It is time to start laying the right foundation so that he starts growing a spine and standing for what he wants.REMEMBER that insisting on what he wants is not a bad thing,no.If anyone is not in support,there should be a compromise to accommodate everyone especially you two,It's YOUR wedding.Make sure you are yourself,don't take what you wouldn't take ordinarily.Be subtle and wise.

I'm facing front now and pressing ignore button cos I did NOT recognise and deal with the red flags early enough.Dont fall into the same trap.

I'm very sorry if my post invokes some anger in you but I'd rather just be totally honest.
I await your good news soon enough

@sufunmikamgbo,

The prophet is looking for moneyIts very troubling to know he has such a stronghold on your MIL and even more troubling that he MUST agree before your MIL agrees then the family goes forward with your wedding.
Many charlatans are parading as MOG.My MIL & SILS are into prophets seeing vision for them even to the extent of my husband calling their so called pastors for prayers when he runs into difficulty.
I forcefully & violently OPPOSED! I told my husband that no pastor is coming to my home to prophesy anything,I don't care who.If God refuses to show me ,SO BE IT!One time they did some family prayer session and the kain pastor was trying to turn me round,make me dizzy so I'd fall.FOR WHEEERE? I stood like Iroko.When he got tired,he stopped. We have agreed that if there's to na any pastor talk involving me& my child,it has to be one we ALL agree on as a family..Seeing that I don't trust any pastor,he dey long thing.UNA no pray for me,thanks!
I don't know how people fall for their scams...saying vague thing that any logical person can deduce.BUULLSH IT.
You need to find out where your fiancé stands.Is he into the pastor as well? What role if any does the pastor have in his life? It would be in your best interest to find out so that you will not be taken unawares.

Good luck!

@diegs
Your own na special case,I'll be back.

nwababy: Amen to all your prayers. @ B I cannot write in details what we went through but he's worth waiting for though he's not perfect. Well, my fiance had to listen to his people though I didn't understand at first. Their reason was for him to save up and all that. Not that we wanted to rush and do everything at the same oh. Every members of his family had to agree with the elder except him. He had to take excuse @ work and travelled to go and talk with them again; when he came back, he told me that he doesn't want to have issue with his people or his people using because of our getting married to have issue. Infact, it wasn't easy cos I made sure (unintentionally oh) and remind him that I wouldn't wait for him forever. He sat me down and told me that if am willing to take the after math of our getting married against their family that he will do it. But, I don't want my own to be different. I don't want to wait all this while and cause problems between siblings. I had to wait since Dec is almost here. He said he's waiting for my mum to come back from Omugo to start reminding his people. So far, he hasn't disappointed me in any way. Just as the brothers said that him alone cannot marry me. 2ndly, I have a friend that's a banker that's going through same but in a different way. She's earning more than the fiance and they agreed to get married without knowing the guy's people are not in support. Reason the guy is the last born and has three elder ones (including 2girls) non of them are married.the guy went with his friends for my friends Introduction but her father told him to come with his people. The fiance told my friend that they will do her introduction and pay her dowry and she agreed thinking is a way of saving money. He cancelled the date of the Introduction giving reasons about his church saying they will have to start marriage course before anything. Their R/ship is a long distant one. So, she travelled to pay the guy a visit(he's still staying in his family house) and the fiance's mother sat her down and told her that they told him to wait for some time but he went behind them to do everything. The guy is soo desperate and wants to rush everything. Now, my friend is thinking probably the guy wants her money.(My friend is not willing to pay for her wedding Lol) she's very angry with the guy for not telling her the truth. She was like how she wish she will meet another man just that there's no time. Meanwhile she's going to 30years this year.

Hmmmm, in my few years of marriage I have come to know that family is an integral part of a new home. They can end a marriage quickly and they can advance it.
Pls tell your friend not to go ahead with that wedding except she has the consent of her family and his family.
Marriage is not relationship ooh,and this man that is busy siding you today may change towards you and began to tell you how you forced him into the "unwanted union"
Aside that ,there was this life experience that happened to a family friend when I was in secondary school. The man is yoruba and the lady delta igbo. The guy's family were not in support of the union. The couple were able to convince the guy's family and theeE union took place. The guy was working in the bank and was growing steadingly. The family that sponsored the guy thru school began to demand for payback, like supporting the family financially, sending the younger ones to school.
The guy was trying but the family wasn't satisfied. Hmmmm, they eventually killed the guy. If the woman wouldn't allow them to enjoy their son,it was best they wasted him.
The guy died from unknown sickness. The lady was left with a baby girl and a few months pregnancy.
The lady was still blamed for his death and meant to suffer immensely.
She would ve cried several times and would ve wished she hadn't married that guy.marriage is a complex union. Don't treat it with kids gloves.
Seek everybody's consent, blessings, agreement,prayers. And if you don't get it?
WALK AWAY.trust me,you don't want to fight some battles.

@diegs
Because my heart is breaking for you,I may sound harsh.

1.One thing I am certain of is that you cannot force someone to love you.
2. I cannot love you more than you love yourself.


Diegs please is it not the same way a woman gave birth to you that a woman gave birth to your husband? Why would you let any man born of a woman make you feel worthless and useless?Even if he was born by aliens,no one should put you in such a condition.The worst part is that the person is busy having fun and enjoying himself while you are becoming a shadow of yourself.

Diegs,depression kills.Worrying gives high bp.I have seen countless patients commit suicide or at least attempt suicide cos they just can't take it any more.They can't take the feeling of worthlessness,the feeling of not having anything to love for,the feeling of rejection.Some just harm themselves as a spur of the moment decision.
Are you telling me that if boko haram sends you a letter that they are coming to bomb that house,that you'll still be there waiting without finding somewhere to go? Your husband and his ex are boko haram for now..they have bokod your emotions and self dignity,they have bokod your sense of self worth.You MUST fight for your sanity!

Diegs are you telling me that you cannot go back to your father,throw yourself at his feet and beg?Are you telling me that you cannot stand at the gate of your fathers house and refuse to leave unless he listens to you?Are you telling me that you cannot sit on your bonnet of your fathers car and hold on tight till he listens to you?You don't know that you can roll on the floor,scream and cry for your father to forgive you and help you?
Are you telling me that if your siblings and mother see all these that they will not fight for you?Are you telling me that your father will see all these,your father will see his child ,a child born of his loins wilting before his eyes and he will stand by doing nothing
DESPERATE TIMES CALL FOR DESPERATE MEASURES!! Look at the prodigal son,see the scope he used..he told his father that he wants to be treated like a servant,that he wasn't worthy to be called his son.His father was filled with compassion for him and took him back.My dear,tell your father that you will not move an inch from that gate if he does not forgive you.

I believe you are not yet serious.Your husband is sleeping with his ex,is in love with his ex,treating you like trash.How much more will you take? You have blamed yourself enough,it's time to take action!Someone like me would simply pack a few things and disappear for a while. In a case like yours,he needs to be shocked into a rethink ie if you still want him.He feels you have no choice and will remain there no matter what he does and that is why he's acting anyhow.

Please go to your mirror and look at yourself.Diegs my dear sister,are you not someone's child? Diegs are you not a future mother? Diegs do you deserve this?Even if you married him out of desperation,is it worth your sanity?Who deserves this sort of wickedness? I don't know why you think so lowly of yourself.

You are someone's daughter,you are someone's future mother,you are someone's sibling.You were not picked up from the bush,you came from somewhere!No one has the right to treat you like a nonentity.

You may not see this now,but you are setting yourself up to be a bitter and frustrated woman.Even if your husband comes back to you and you forgive,what will happen to the scars that have been inflicted on you?Is it not best to remove yourself from this madness and pray from afar instead of traumatising yourself daily?
Please DO NOT even consider bringing a child into this marriage just yet.It will only make things worse especially for you cos if the bad treatment continues,you will now have the excuse of staying for your child.

If you notice,I haven't mentioned the ex.You have no business with her. Your husband is the one who made vows and him sleeping with her is a choice he made.Im sure she doesn't ra pe him.



Diegs please advice yourself o!!!! I care about you but please advice yourself!! You are important,take care of yourself first before worrying about anyother thing.

Hispinkolo...u've said it all. @diegs, Life is simple, life is good! Loving a person is a decision, a choice.... Dont make life difficult for urself. I know its difficult and not easy, but please gather up strength from within u and Live again.

Nwababy pls advice your friend. If she's already thinking that she wishes she can find another man,then she's not going into this union with her whole heart.
It is risky.
30 isn't OLD.
What if she married at 30 and ends up miserable?
As compared to someone married at 33 and ended up happy?

cococandy: Nwababy pls advice your friend. If she's already thinking that she wishes she can find another man,then she's not going into this union with her whole heart.
It is risky.
30 isn't OLD.
What if she married at 30 and ends up miserable?
As compared to someone married at 33 and ended up happy?

There has never been any happiness in marriage as you guys constantly fantasize.

It's all a mirage
You just keep chasing it until your time is up,but I guess that's what makes marriage interesting.........come my corner come see as my married hommies them Wey I know dey murmur like say dem force their hand to carry woman enter house.

There's happiness in marriage.
Trials and challenges doesn't mean that it is not a happy union.

If you believe so,then don't marry

Truckpusher: There has never been any happiness in marriage as you guys constantly fantasize.

It's all a mirage
You just keep chasing it until your time is up,but I guess that's what makes marriage interesting.........come my corner come see as my married hommies them Wey I know dey murmur like say dem force their hand to carry woman enter house.

cococandy: There's happiness in marriage.
Trials and challenges doesn't mean that it is not a happy union.

If you believe so,then don't marry

*yimu*


Ehe! You ran away from the other thread,you ran because of what I said to you?

Believe what you will.

Yes ke. That play was over the border.

Truckpusher: *yimu*


Ehe! You ran away from the other thread,you ran because of what I said to you?

cococandy: Believe what you will.

Yes ke. That play was over the border.

ok.
I understand you perfectly.
Now, can we roll peace?

Always

Truckpusher: ok.
I understand you perfectly.
Now, can we roll peace?

cococandy: Always

See as my head just dey swell like who win lottery.

@hispinkolo. You have said it all. I think she is just giving excuses.

@diegs. Do you also remember billionaires advice? He was the very first person that told you to leave and let your husband deal with the fact that you are not always going to be there. (At home).
Shock his balls out by leaving to regain your sanity.

May God give you the strength to do so.

@ Coco, of course I know 30yrs is not old. I have already adviced her to think about her gettiing married to the guy or probably cos we are rushing to get married before 30yrs knock at our door. Meanwhile, I told her the effect of family in decision making during marriage preparation and she thought mine was different now, she knows better. I prefer honesty than been deceptive.

Hmmm... How do I tolerate a cheating and uncaring husband? How do I live/survive in a loveless marriage? I don't wanna imagine that cos I know I won't wait for NL advice before bailing myself out, I will so run away from that man that he'll never set his eyez on me again or his kids. That's how vindictive I can be. Gawd! I hate cheating!!!
@diegs, pls save yourself a lot of troubles and heartache and leave that man, maybe temporarily, go back to ur father as a prodigal daughter just like hispinkolo suggested, am certain that no matter how angry he is/was with you, he can't wish you away just like that, you will be safer with your people than with your hubby, cos he is obviously neck-deep into adultery and he doesn't give a hoot about how you feel. DEPRESSION KILLS FASTER THAN AIDS. Am sure you don't wanna die, at least not yet. So do urself some good and tow the right lane. As for your hubby, pray that he doesn't get too late for him to retrace his steps, but if it does, let him carry his cross alone. For the ex you have no business whatsoever with her. Shebi she go marry one day. Karma for her, datz all.
Work on getting your sanity and self esteem back, when you know and appreciate your self worth, you'll understand that your happiness and existence does not need to depend on anybody not even your husband.
*Above all, pray, pray and pray until the heavens open up and spits fire on your behalf*

I wish you the best.

@nwababy I'll only pray for you, that any Goliath standing in the way of your happiness (in MFM voice) fall and die IJN.
Please tell your friend to shine her eyez well well before saying 'I DO'. Marriage no be manage oo. Its better to delay and make a wise and good choice than to rush and regret later, except she wants to jump in and jumpp out at d same time.

@hispinkolo thanks for ur advice. My immediate elder sister has asked me to come stay with her for a while to see if my hubby changes and comes begging. Although my sister stays far away in abuja

@snazzylove thanks for the encouragement. I truly hope my marriage gets better. I pray when he comes begging, he won't return to his former ways