subzidi:

I was partially in your shoes 4 years ago but difference being that my parents only voiced their opinion adjudged from preconceived prejudice about his tribe(Edo guy too). Trust me before I introduced him to my people I had the mind set that I was only respectfully informing them not really seeking their approval. Reasons being that I would be the one to live with the man and had made up of my mind that I'd rather live with my mistake than someone else's. If there is no Godly reason for objection to a choice of partner I think whatever reason is null and void. Today my hubby is the best son inlaw in the family! I'm not says parental opinion/blessing is not important but when it is being withdrawn under unfounded UnGodly reasons after trying your best to make them see reasons to accept your choiceplease run to God for blessings and carry on with marriage/life! Part of being an adult is the ability to make decisions and live with the consequences...
I'm sure you will not forgive yourself if you give up on this good man and marry someone else God forbid along the line things go sour...our parents will not be there forever and they have lived their own lives. MY OPINION
I wish you wisdom in your decision.

Michky:


But come to think of it: what if i was right?

prissyluv:

Thanks for sharing this with me dear.
I see my man slipping out of my hand beause of this. If only they can see him before rejecting him.
My man was not born in benin and did not grow there but visits home when there is need to.He has been in the east almost 27 years with his parents. He cant speak benin well(not a good thing though) but he communicates well in Igbo though not with our tongue. 90% of his friends are Igbos. He is not from a polygamous home. I have seen this guy do things ordinarily me cannot do for him. So open to me. He hardly travels out of his place of work without letting me know. This is a man you can leave kids with and be at peace wherever you are cos you will meet a healthier kids and a clean home... Infact I know i will not forgive myself if I let go. My man is just like a brother to me.

Michky:
A lot of people don't realize what they really want in life till its too late. Ada is just a freeking title damn it! People refuse to realise that they are not their culture. If they die today, their culture will live on. So why not live a life of happiness instead?. Why should anyone start worrying about burial rights at such a young age. Shocking, honestly. What happened to living your life one day at a time?

Anyways, i like where you said you went to them not really seeking their approval but just dully informing them. I wish there are more ladies like you out there who know exactly what they want and go for it. With the right attitude and respect for your husband, your marriage will surely continue to be fruitful in Jesus name. I wish there is more of your kind out thekre. This world would be a much better place.

eagleeye2:

Michky, why do you feel so strongly about this issue? Have you been in this situation before? If yes, what did you do right or wrong?
If you are Prissyluv, how will you handle this issue? Everyone is not emotionally strong to go against their family.
.
Marriage is not something to just dabble into because you are "so much in love", at least others have equally said it here.

tonychristopher:


Pls point of correction ada is not a title but a position naturally bestowed by God

Nobody takes Ada as a title urs just the position firvthe first daughter ofvtge family

She functions as an aggregator and peace maker

But she can talk to their family

My both parents are dead and we the men all married from different Igbo states me from Delta others from imo and Enugu but my sister who married married from Anambra nobody forced her cos our parents where dead but she just knew the right thing
It depends

If the guy us good he should conscience and convince her parents

But never GI against your family because of a man .....love is not enough

I talk as a parent and I have a daughter so know my position

I will feel bad if my baby won't listen to me on matters like this .....Lord forbid that anyway

I wish her luck

Michky:
What am saying is this: Ada or no Ada, the individual is what is important. Not the title. If Ada is going to cause you long lasting sadness, wouldn't you act discretionally? Anyways, no need for anymore arguement. Best of luck to prisiluv on whatever decision she chooses.

Michky:
What am saying is this: Ada or no Ada, the individual is what is important. Not the title. If Ada is going to cause you long lasting sadness, wouldn't you act discretionally? Anyways, no need for anymore arguement. Best of luck to prisiluv on whatever decision she chooses.

AZeD1:
It's pathetic that in 2015 some parents still play the tribal card.
@Prissyluv
The only thing I can say is, it's your life and happiness involved so do what you have to do and be prepared for the consequences.

CoCoLav:


Tell me I brought you here

AZeD1:

CocoLav
You brought me here.

CoCoLav:


Great thread. Hope you come around more often.

AZeD1:

I'll try to but the topic says strictly for couples or intending couples and I don't fall into either category

CoCoLav:


You will get married someday. I believe you can get lessons that will help in future.

chaircover:
@Prissyluv I can imagine how you feel. It must be really hard

I wouldnt however ask you to go against your parents. What you need to do is to try everything you can to get them to accept this man as their son-in-law
If not for now but for the future.

Your man will also think twice knowing that you have a cordial relationship with your parents and family before he treats you badly. When he knows you have somewhere to go and someone to speak up for you if need be.
Your husbands family will also respect you more.
I am not saying that you wont have any issues with a man endorsed by your parents neither am i saying that if you go ahead and marry this man it will end in regret. I am not saying that.

Marriage already comes with its own stresses & ups and downs & to add family issues to it makes it nire stressful. I was listening to the radio one evening a few weeks ago and people were phoning in and talking about the effect of family fueds on their own marriage and many confessed that it did cause a big strain on their marriage and many went on to divorce.

Talk to your parents, think of ways you can convince them if you are sure that this is the man. Show them positive examples and try and allay all their fears. Most importantlu pray for Gods wisdom and Gods will to be done in your life. All the best.

Rosarie:
privillulov m an edo woman married to an edo man.esan by tribe.born school married first kud all in edo.benin.to b candid he might b good look deeeeeeepppppp at d familyyy esp in polygamy n juju aspect.cos foundation has a long wayy.re dey d types dat gved juju s room to b living means d guy go get some kind home demons.n dey love polygamy lik is a curse.nt ttyin to scare y.avoid pre marital sex or sin esp unforgivness to anyone.go on ur kness n ask GOD COS HE IS SUPREME DAN UR PARENTS:bf;nl or u

prissyluv:

Thanks but edit your post so that one can read and get meaning from it.

Rosarie:
ve done dat.life is a choice.wish u d best

Rosarie:
ve done dat.life is a choice.wish u d best