Why are pple commenting? Is the Op for real?

I pity your condition! If you are not careful you will not live to share your next bitter experience. May God save you from the vampire

Are you afraid of loosing her?
If yes then you're not serious yet.

You know what to do,ur only fear is loosing her if you tell her your mind.
So get rid of that first..

Be in control bro.

Very funny thread
U better run

U better run for your life to avoid story that touch..

this guy funny die...nice story though......na she go punch ur prick finish

Chaleeee: Please I want matured advice only.

I met this quiet, sweet, ebony chic when I went to my alma mater (Great Ife) to apply for my transcript. She's a student a polytechnic in town. As a sharp boy, I quickly started a conversation with her not minding that we are in a bus and other commuters could deduce from my line of conversation that I was pschying her . Long story short, I got her cell phone number. I started calling her afterwards

Coincidentally and fortunately enough for me, she stays in the part of Lagos where I reside. After 4 days of calls and continuous toasting, she agreed to be my girlfriend. This chic sweet die I swear!!

Now her school is on break so she's in Lagos. Thus begin a relation that I've now come to be fearful of. My chic is very lively and personable. She never runs out of topic to discuss and trust me, it's never boring whenever she's around its been 3 weeks now but there is a but.....

My girlfriend likes practical joke and like hitting me. At first it started playfully like she would punch me in the stomach and tell me she's checking if I'm strong and I would laugh and suck up the pain..... like a man. Later this play escalated to punches in the face, biting me on any part of my body she deems fit (I no know if she be Suarez cousin), trying to strangle me at times. At first I will just let her beat me. Later I started hitting her back but softly because she's a delicate flower to me. I put up with all these "plays" because most times it leads to a mind blowing sex. Emphasis on "BLOWING". Then 3 days ago, she added another dimension to it.

I returned from work later... She call my cell to tell me she's coming over to spend the night. I was happy because her visit will help me relieve the stress I went through during the day. When she came, she made me a meal while I went to take a cold shower. On getting into the bedroom, my babe suddenly pounced on me and punched me in my scrotum. I fell to the floor and lost consciousness. She had to run to the next flat to call my neighbors. That night, my instrument no gree stand at all. The pain was so much that I had to call my boss that I was sick the next day.

Now she's back and still playing her freaky kind of play. I don't want to hurt her feelings and I want her to be herself whenever she's with me but I want this devilish play to stop. Nairaland peeps, abeg I need advise on how to go about it.

ma nigguah no let the babe destroy your baban gida o

pickabeau1: From pinch..it will graduate to pull to pop..

Triple P

Lollz

Yemlizzy:
Lollz

Na soo

Wait till bashes your skull with a baseball bat to see if u get strong head or fires a pistol at you to see if you can dodge bullets...anuofia.

tell her you don't like it, or when she starts her play, remove your belt, or get 1 yard of wire and beat her to stupor.....trust me you guys would have earth shattering sex after that....

abeg carry am go white garment for some serious flogging...tell am say na play too.

vhickky: tell her you don't like it, or when she starts her play, remove your belt, or get 1 yard of wire and beat her to stupor.....trust me you guys would have earth shattering sex after that....

is that how the system works now?? u beat girls and you have earth shattering sex...??

Eeeya. I can't imagine the "pain" if you try to break up with her.
Sorry.

chemmerfrank: is that how the system works now?? u beat girls and you have earth shattering sex...??

guy .....its called sarcasm

vhickky: guy .....its called sarcasm

then ur a bad comedian..cause I know a joke when I read one

Hahahahaha. I'm laughing @ ur balls. I used to have a babe like dat buh broke up wen i realised she can't stop being PHYSICAL. So, brov talk to her first nd if she doesn't stop, SAVE UR BALLS!!

Lolz, this thread made my night.

guy u stil de wait?
U nid to run comot from lagos oo!

I know her type, she no go take no for answer.
Next tyme maybe na mortuary u go see urself

just 3 wks u enter coma!!!

Chaleeee: Please I want matured advice only.

I met this quiet, sweet, ebony chic when I went to my alma mater (Great Ife) to apply for my transcript. She's a student a polytechnic in town. As a sharp boy, I quickly started a conversation with her not minding that we are in a bus and other commuters could deduce from my line of conversation that I was pschying her . Long story short, I got her cell phone number. I started calling her afterwards

Coincidentally and fortunately enough for me, she stays in the part of Lagos where I reside. After 4 days of calls and continuous toasting, she agreed to be my girlfriend. This chic sweet die I swear!!

Now her school is on break so she's in Lagos. Thus begin a relation that I've now come to be fearful of. My chic is very lively and personable. She never runs out of topic to discuss and trust me, it's never boring whenever she's around its been 3 weeks now but there is a but.....

My girlfriend likes practical joke and like hitting me. At first it started playfully like she would punch me in the stomach and tell me she's checking if I'm strong and I would laugh and suck up the pain..... like a man. Later this play escalated to punches in the face, biting me on any part of my body she deems fit (I no know if she be Suarez cousin), trying to strangle me at times. At first I will just let her beat me. Later I started hitting her back but softly because she's a delicate flower to me. I put up with all these "plays" because most times it leads to a mind blowing sex. Emphasis on "BLOWING". Then 3 days ago, she added another dimension to it.

I returned from work later... She call my cell to tell me she's coming over to spend the night. I was happy because her visit will help me relieve the stress I went through during the day. When she came, she made me a meal while I went to take a cold shower. On getting into the bedroom, my babe suddenly pounced on me and punched me in my scrotum. I fell to the floor and lost consciousness. She had to run to the next flat to call my neighbors. That night, my instrument no gree stand at all. The pain was so much that I had to call my boss that I was sick the next day.

Now she's back and still playing her freaky kind of play. I don't want to hurt her feelings and I want her to be herself whenever she's with me but I want this devilish play to stop. Nairaland peeps, abeg I need advise on how to go about it.

U don enter am, is she a tomboy or wat... All these her play ehn...

chemmerfrank: then ur a bad comedian..cause I know a joke when I read one

Noun: sarcasm
|'saar,ka-zum|
Witty language used to convey insults or scorn, esp. saying one thing but implying the opposite • he used sarcasm to upset his opponent
= caustic remark, irony, satire
.....dude, sarcasm is not the same as making a joke
...don't thank me thank God......

misterjosh: U don enter am, is she a tomboy or wat... All these her play ehn...

Yes she is a tomboy.
I used to behave like that until I tried that with my dad,I held his neck, trying to show him the undertaker smackdown (wrestling) .The man gave me the beating of my life.
Since that day my life changed.

op, go nd buy koboko nd hide it under bed. if she starts her usual act, yu sef comot ur koboko, giv her correct strokes nd tell her sey yu jst wnted to kno weda she too de cry if she chop cane in secondary skol.

vhickky: Noun: sarcasm
|'saar,ka-zum|
Witty language used to convey insults or scorn, esp. saying one thing but implying the opposite • he used sarcasm to upset his opponent
= caustic remark, irony, satire
.....dude, sarcasm is not the same as making a joke
...don't thank me thank God......

I dnt wana stretch dis but ull make me look like I didnt study the figures of speech and how they are used. sarcasm


noun
- (uncountable) A form of HUMOR that is marked by mocking with irony, sometimes conveyed in speech with vocal over-emphasis. Insincerely saying something which is the opposite of one's intended meaning, often to emphasize how unbelievable or unlikely it sounds if taken literally, thereby illustrating the obvious nature of one's intended meaning.
- (countable) An act of sarcasm.
synonyms
- (uncountable) derision, facetiousness, irony, ridicule, satire
- (countable) taunt, gibe

OCTAVO: How do you guys formulate interesting stories like this?
Una get talent sha.

watch out for part 2

Lily4star: Must people seek advice for everything?, tell her the things you don't like and she ll stop dem, U re the man, but I dey like wrestling sha and the lil lil slaps, all nah for fun

I second dis du lyk a guy did to his gf now they re married
he hit her back so hard on the shoulder d pain was der 4 days he sed it was 4 ha tu kno how it feels. She learnt

moski5:

I second dis du lyk a guy did to his gf now they re married
he hit her back so hard on the shoulder d pain was der 4 days he sed it was 4 ha tu kno how it feels. She learnt

But seriously its fun, but not the mean type of hitting

chemmerfrank: I dnt wana stretch dis but ull make me look like I didnt study the figures of speech and how they are used. sarcasm


noun
- (uncountable) A form of HUMOR that is marked by mocking with irony, sometimes conveyed in speech with vocal over-emphasis. Insincerely saying something which is the opposite of one's intended meaning, often to emphasize how unbelievable or unlikely it sounds if taken literally, thereby illustrating the obvious nature of one's intended meaning.
- (countable) An act of sarcasm.
synonyms
- (uncountable) derision, facetiousness, irony, ridicule, satire
- (countable) taunt, gibe

alright uncle, believe what you want......who knows you might get the joke later.....*winks*

glitest:





Haha!...

glitest:





Haha!...

Blackbody20: This got me laughing.

bur it d truth nau,abi wat do u fink?