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Before You Break-up That Relationship, Consider These... - Romance - Nairaland

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Don’t Have Sex With Him Till You Consider These 3 Important Things / Don’t Have Sex With Him Till You Consider These 3 Important Things / Ladies; Before You Finally Give Up On That Relationship. (2) (3) (4)

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Before You Break-up That Relationship, Consider These... by sexylogan(m): 12:07pm On Jul 27, 2014
9. Am I just Angry?

Before you make a decision to end things, make sure you’re initiating a breakup for the right reasons. Don’t impulsively call it quits. Slow down and evaluate:
Is this decision purely an emotional one?
Wait until you’re calm and can carefully weigh your breakup motivation. It’s easy to give up when you’re exhausted or in the middle of unresolved conflict.

8. Can we work it out?

Can you two work it out? Also important, do you want to work it out? Is there anything about this relationship that’s worth salvaging? Even if you’re still unsure about your commitment to the relationship, try to pursue healthy conflict resolution. Talk about your concerns, voice your needs, and apologize for your role in the current situation. Listen to your partner and respect how he/she is feeling.

If you can resolve — or at least calmly address — conflict, you can better assess the future direction of your relationship. You might discover that you’re both still willing to fight for each other and give the relationship another chance. (But even if you still end things, at least it’s not in the middle of a fight.)

7. Am I jumping to conclusions?

Don’t get caught up in the “grass is greener” games, concluding that life will be better once you re-enter the land of singleness. Don’t assume your current state of unhappiness is solely the fault of the relationship. (What happens if you break up and you’re still unsatisfied?) Nor should you leap to conclusions about the relationship just because a friend’s doomed relationship had a few parallels to yours. Try to take things at face value, not jumping ahead, exaggerating situations, or daydreaming your conflicts away.

6. Did I communicate openly about what I need?

If you initiate a breakup, will it catch your significant other off-guard? Don’t let a breakup spill from pent-up bitterness and resentment. Let the “Should we break up?” question motivate you to talk openly about your needs, desires and concerns. Instead of blaming your partner for your restlessness, communicate that you’re itching for adventure. Instead of just secretly wishing for change, you might end up pursuing the things you love with your loved one’s enthusiastic support. Choose communication over cutting him/her off. Communicating transparently with your partner might kick-start a healthier relationship; in the least, it will contribute to a deeper understanding of what’s really causing the relationship’s breakdown.

5. How will my world change when we split?

Before you break up with your partner, prepare yourself for what’s next. Things will change. Your housing situation may get complicated. Your social life will change significantly, both in how you spend your time and in whom you spend it with. Your daily routine will no longer be routine. While the fear of change or the unknown shouldn’t stop you from leaving an unhealthy relationship, ending things before you’ve considered the first few steps pre-breakup can make a sad situation even more stressful and overwhelming.

4. Will I regret ending the relationship?

As you’re considering the consequences of breaking up, ask yourself if ending the relationship will be something you’ll ultimately regret. Deep down, do you believe you’re giving up too quickly? Do you still believe, deep down, that he’s “the one”? No one wants a “one that got away.”

It should be noted that regret is not the same things as “feeling bad.” Of course you’ll hate to hurt your partner’s feelings, and will be sad to end something you once hoped would last a lifetime. Regret, however, is painful disappointment in yourself for missing out on something that could have been good. It makes moving forward difficult.

3. Is initiating a breakup just playing a game?

If you’re secretly hoping that a breakup — or even just a threat of a breakup — will bring the two of you closer together, it won’t. Don’t play games with either of your hearts. If you want things to get better, assert yourself and invest time and energy in the relationship. Never use the threat of a breakup as a tool to initiate change.

2. Is anyone influencing my decision to end the relationship?

Who in your life is on Team Breakup? Are there friends or family members pushing you toward this decision? Evaluate their motives — they may have identified relationship red flags that shouldn’t be ignored, or they may have selfish, unhealthy reasons for pushing you toward a split — and make sure that you’re at peace with your decision, regardless of outside influences.

1. Have I given this relationship my Best Shot?

A relationship will fail eventually if you’re not all in. Don’t blame your partner for the crumbling of a romance if you haven’t given your best to the relationship. If you’re hesitant to say goodbye, try throwing yourself back into the union, full throttle. If you still care, don’t let love fizzle without a fight.

4 Likes

Re: Before You Break-up That Relationship, Consider These... by CuteCynthia(f): 12:23pm On Jul 27, 2014
Very Insightful. Thanks. smiley

1 Like

Re: Before You Break-up That Relationship, Consider These... by sexylogan(m): 12:28pm On Jul 27, 2014
CuteCynthia: Very Insightful. Thanks. smiley

You're welcome. wink

1 Like

Re: Before You Break-up That Relationship, Consider These... by Nobody: 12:38pm On Jul 27, 2014
I gave my relationship which ended 6 weeks ago the best shot but had to end it long after family friends saw red flags, warned me about it but I didn't listen. Also, she was not ready to fully communicate about the major cause of the break-up (a guy) after so many attempts from me. I did not catch her cheating but she lied so many times to me because of the same guy. angry
Re: Before You Break-up That Relationship, Consider These... by mencade5(m): 12:47pm On Jul 27, 2014
toke8: I gave my relationship which ended 6 weeks ago the best shot but had to end it long after family friends saw red flags, warned me about it but I didn't listen. Also, she was not ready to fully communicate about the major cause of the break-up (a guy) after so many attempts from me. I did not catch her cheating but she lied so many times to me because of the same guy. angry
my brother you try. It seems many of them wants to eat here and there and here again.

Just enjoy urself for now, then try later with another lady.
Re: Before You Break-up That Relationship, Consider These... by raziboi(m): 2:23pm On Jul 27, 2014
nice one bro!!!!!!
Re: Before You Break-up That Relationship, Consider These... by fuckshit: 2:40pm On Jul 27, 2014
FÜCKING nice tips. Following these FÜCKING tips could go a FÜCKING long way in easing FÜCKING relationship conflicts & issues. Thereby enhancing health relationships.

But where a FÜCKING breakup is FÜCKING inevitable, it FÜCKING gives room for a FÜCKING healthy breakup. #my take grin grin
Re: Before You Break-up That Relationship, Consider These... by fuckshit: 2:40pm On Jul 27, 2014
toke8: I gave my relationship which ended 6 weeks ago the best shot but had to end it long after family friends saw red flags, warned me about it but I didn't listen. Also, she was not ready to fully communicate about the major cause of the break-up (a guy) after so many attempts from me. I did not catch her cheating but she lied so many times to me because of the same guy. angry
I FÜCKING understand grin grin

1 Like

Re: Before You Break-up That Relationship, Consider These... by Houseofglam7(f): 2:43pm On Jul 27, 2014
Makes lots of sense.
Front page worthy.

1 Like

Re: Before You Break-up That Relationship, Consider These... by ITbomb(m): 2:57pm On Jul 27, 2014
.
Re: Before You Break-up That Relationship, Consider These... by Yemlizzy(f): 3:28pm On Jul 27, 2014
Nice tips, sometimes decisions we make too quickly may ruin things that could turn out well in the future. Despite that,there are some relationships that right from the onset,you already have a feeling that its heading nowhere.

5 Likes

Re: Before You Break-up That Relationship, Consider These... by ideology(m): 3:28pm On Jul 27, 2014
toke8: I gave my relationship which ended 6 weeks ago the best shot but had to end it long after family friends saw red flags, warned me about it but I didn't listen. Also, she was not ready to fully communicate about the major cause of the break-up (a guy) after so many attempts from me. I did not catch her cheating but she lied so many times to me because of the same guy. angry
Nice tips @poster
@Toke8, relationships is both ways, from ur comments, u gave ur best shot, whereas she wasn't.
Like you also pointed out.

So Even if one puts into consideration the tips above if ur partner is not flowing in the same direction, one may not still be able to fix it appropriately

I feel ur pains
Re: Before You Break-up That Relationship, Consider These... by sexylogan(m): 6:40pm On Jul 27, 2014
Yemlizzy: Nice tips, sometimes decisions we make too quickly may ruin things that could turn out well in the future. Despite that,there are some relationships that right from the onset,you already have a feeling that its heading nowhere.

So true. Sometimes, there's nothing wrong with the person but deep inside you know that it just won't work.
Re: Before You Break-up That Relationship, Consider These... by sexylogan(m): 6:44pm On Jul 27, 2014
toke8: I gave my relationship which ended 6 weeks ago the best shot but had to end it long after family friends saw red flags, warned me about it but I didn't listen. Also, she was not ready to fully communicate about the major cause of the break-up (a guy) after so many attempts from me. I did not catch her cheating but she lied so many times to me because of the same guy. angry

Sorry man. I've been down that road before. Happened to me about 10 yrs ago. Same girl came back begging after
several months but I had moved on.


fuckshit: FÜCKING nice tips. Following these FÜCKING tips could go a FÜCKING long way in easing FÜCKING relationship conflicts & issues. Thereby enhancing health relationships.
But where a FÜCKING breakup is FÜCKING inevitable, it FÜCKING gives room for a FÜCKING healthy breakup. #my take grin grin

LoL...ok.

Houseofglam7: Makes lots of sense.
Front page worthy.

Thanks dear.
Re: Before You Break-up That Relationship, Consider These... by Yemlizzy(f): 10:34am On Jul 28, 2014
[quote
author=sexylogan]
Exactly you get my point.

So true. Sometimes, there's nothing wrong with
the person but deep inside you know that it just won't
work.
[/quote]
Re: Before You Break-up That Relationship, Consider These... by GoodFaith: 1:52pm On Jul 28, 2014
Include
Are my actions going to make the other person call it off?
Re: Before You Break-up That Relationship, Consider These... by Youngpo413: 2:36pm On Dec 09, 2014
Nice

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