tintingz: Monogamy is a problem in the western countries, that's why I gave a link of whites men cheating because they are stuck in monogamy setting of marriage.

if I give you the link of countries that practises polygamy you will say "the study is false because it is a country that support polygamy"

like the study said many couples in monogamy marriage are not faithful and honest, a married man will have mistresses outside cheating and he will come home like nothing happened(adultery), this is a different case of a man introducing a second wife and wants the wife approval to marry a second wife..

GboyegaD:

It still doesn't justify that polygamist are faithful as both parties cheats.

akinladejo:


I don't totaly agree with u, do you know y? I have an uncle who married as many as eight wives and all his children were well taken care of and they are doing very great in all field of lifes now. As far back as 1992 1993 1994 these children write want list of=N= 40,000 plus Whenever they are going to school OAU UI UNAD UNIILORIN. and so many higher school of learning then even d one in borden house then in Fed govt colleges,Though polygamy is not good o but is not d one responsible for inresponsible for inresponsible children u see around its individual of a thing.

Oahray: I wonder why people go on and on about universal bad traits and tag it 'Nigerian men'. Does that mean that from other continents do not neglect their kids or abuse their wives/kids too?

Someone (I think Cococandy) even tagged patriarchy as the cause of the cases of irresponsible fathers on a societal level. Tell me, are there fewer baby mamas and single parent families in the US or Sweden than in Nigeria?

The main culprit behind a man's irresponsibility is himself, but he is by no means the only one. They say charity begins at home. How many parents teach the children to be responsible? Since Nigerian mothers perform their parental roles perfectly (unlike Nigerian fathers) as you guys are trying to insinuate, why do their sons grow up to be irresponsible fathers? The mistresses men keep, are they free from a share of the blame?

At times I see some comments and wonder if it's just deep-seated bias or plain ignorance.

cococandy: If you don't know the meaning of unbridled,pls don't quote me to yarn rubbish.
I've had my share of silly arguments not ready to do that again.
Thank you.

Oahray: if you don't want silly arguments, don't make silly and uniformed statements. There might be someone around to call you out on it.
You're welcome.

cococandy: Patriachy? Didn't say anything about it.

Unbridled patriachy? Now both aren't the same and of course I've explained my post to the person who wanted to actually know what I meant.
Are both the same thing? Hardly.

But in your xtupidity,to you they mean the same thing that's why when someone says unbridled patricahy has such disadvantages you interprete it to mean that patriachy has the same disadvantages.


I suggest you read well next time before going around making a f00l of yourself.

aisha2:
I know someone who holds so much anger against his dad and we have been trying to talk with him to let go but anytime he lets his guard down small the father will call with silly demands and resentment starts again.

Oahray: lol. Unbridled patriarchy is not patriarchy? I see. Bright red is not red. Very smart observation.

Nigeria is a patriarchal society, end of story. Calling it unbridled is subjective. What constitutes unbridled to you may not be so to the next person.

I asked a question about Nigeria your example of 'unbridled patriarchy' and the best you could do is throw tantrums about 'unbridled'. Very mature of you.

If you cannot refute a person's logic, all hope is not lost, you can still call him vile names.

bellong:

Tell the guy to watch this movie by Eddie Murphy "A thousand words".

oneangle: He abandoned the kids and wife for over 10years . Mother raised them all, sent them all to school. Mother passed on last year december.during burial ceremony , he saw it as an opportunity to raise funds. Which he spent on himself..now he is broke and wants the kids back.. Pleae advice..what do you call such father?

Gynacologist: men i rily fil ur plight....it obvious tat ur d first son whch coms wif much responsibility.....may God gv u d strength to cari on....bat ma questn is dz wat culd mk ur dad b a drunkard? addiction or there is actuali somfin boderin him? no direspect thou....

coogar:

i am not defending any irresponsible father. i called one a loser before my comment. it takes two irresponsible people to bear unwanted children

in nigeria, you would admit at least 70% of the time, men do the asking & women get to decide yes or no. if a man has irresponsibility written all over him, why should a responsible woman sleep with him & have a baby by him?

you can't exclude the mothers here.....why do some women choose to be 2nd, 3rd, 4th wives & then cry out the husband is irresponsible? that's hypocrisy to me.

ngona: pls encourage ur kid sisters to learn a trade or skill, no matter hw a man gives a girl money it won't satisfy her as the money she earns her self, they can also form a squad with mumcy nd pull tru for the family. Above all trust God for a better day.

McWhillion:

You're not looking from the perspective of the innocent and responsible first wife the irresponsible man married, what has she done to deserve an irresponsible man as a husband and why would you want to term her as one of the "two irresponsible people who bear unwanted children" and what exactly is your definition of unwanted children.

By the way is there a defined way of recognis:ing an irresponsible man?
Your write up offends me I must say.

coogar:

the tortuous knots of logic you people tie yourself in. what has the perspective of the first wife got to do with what i wrote? did i mention the first wife? i said why do some women aspire to be 2nd, 3rd, 4th wives even when they know there's a first wife and their marriage to an already married man would cause discomfort to the first wife?




my write up would offend you because you are a plonked first & foremost. a married man reaching out to any woman for sex has already displayed signs of irresponsibility. if the woman yields to his advances when she knows he's a married man, then she's also joined the irresponsibility bandwagon.

unwanted children are what they are - children that weren't prepared for. most illegitimate children(born out of wedlock) are unwanted children.

coogar: in nigeria, you would admit at least 70% of the
time, men do the asking & women get to
decide yes or no. if a man has irresponsibility
written all over him, why should a responsible
woman sleep with him & have a baby by him?

Georgematics:
it all started when he lost his Job and since then, he had not been able to snap over it but took solace in beer and more beer without giving a damn if his family eats or not.

hydeka: All I can say to young men is: Be a better man than your father.

FOLYKAZE: I dont have father. I only have a man who manned his wife and have me in the middle.

McWhillion:
You only included the other wives in your last sentence. Looking at your statement once again you were been generic.

You didn't specify in the statement above for instance if the woman the irresponsible man is asking out is the first wife. You could have made it clear that you were referring to his extramarital excesses in the first place.

By the way, the op was referring to men's irresponsibility mostly to their first legitimate family and by logic I assume your statement should follow that train of thought.

Georgematics: I am a perfect example of d offspring of an irresponsible Dad, though he didn't run away wit a mistress but he gave up his total life to liquor and spends his last dime on beer. now the end result is me working 7-5 while my mates are in school and the salary keeps getting drown in family problems while my 3 kid sisters are easy preys because in life we all need something's to keep life balance and only with money can we afford them. May God grant Mum d strength to carry on. and pls my fellow men, don't just take advantage of the girls you see on the streets because it not their fault but dat of a dysfunctional families. God help us all.

Amelian: Op, God bless u for bringing up dis thread. The rate men impregnante girls and dump them, is so alarming. The number of single mothers out there is increasing 2 a dangerous peak. Its seems reponsible men are gradually becoming extinct in our society. All we have these days, is selfishness in. Stvpid crafty way..
There are lots of men out there, but how many can we count 2 be responsible or 2 be a father figure?.. Single mothers are trying their best to take care of their kids, as their resources and energy deem fit, but their best is not enough..
It has even gotten 2 a stage that peers, even pastors, IMams, family members will advise a lady of 30s and above 2 start thinking of bn a single mum , if marriage is not visible
That's a total wrong advice, which is so rampant in the lips of most pple.. A lady who knws wat she wants, will kip faith and belive, she will still get married and start her family.. While d weak ones, will listen 2 d wind and moves any direction. D wind blows. *sighs* May God open the eyes of men and women 2 see the havoc they r causing 2 d society by not bn responsible.
God help us all.

Virgindove: There is beauty in diversity and strenght in polygamy if well managed. Polygamy shouldn't be blamed for irresponsibility of men that jettison their homes for angels outside. There are many other factors that could b responsible(greed, drunkiness, bad company, voodoo etc). This our idea of one man,one wife is directly linked to d growing number of single mothers and over-ripe single ladies in d society. Am an advocate of polygamy and a polygamist. Ladies should please try to be less possessive and sacrifice a bit for d world to b a better place. I love my wives and children and nothing except death could make me denied them.

Azwealth: My Dad and Mum should be the first to be arrested! Much love to my Grandma

case wey pass Govt, na god go settle ur matter

cococandy:
I know the son of a permanent secretary of this state who can't even boast of a good life.
His father Reports directly to the gov of this state but leaves his children to live pauper's lives.

I don't know if to blame polygamy for his problem because they say he focuses all his attention on his second wife and her kids.

Or if to blame his lack of parental love for his first kids.

Too bad

Sophyrocks:


Guys depending on ladies being rare in nigeria? Wow!! And you claim to live in nigeria?