and in spite of sex and the city which featured four women in different relationship statuses?

una nor watch am ni?

girlfriends nko, una nor watch that one also?

nobody is saying its easy being single while your friends are all getting married, but is a bad attitude the answer.

[img]http://3.bp..com/-t5_09J9ituQ/T8-IEK36MiI/AAAAAAAABms/txhCBdlMUJM/s1600/SATC_2.jpg[/img]

tpia1 dear...I totally feel you. A lot of women live their lives by rules which they think society demands for them. Am not sure where they got those rules from. Also maybe its through the lack of role models. A lot of people grew up with mothers whose only friends were married women like them so its a concept they find hard to conceive. I grew up with 3 maiden aunts who swore never to marry so unmarriedness is not new or alien or weird.

I have married friends and even though I accept that our friendship took on a new face after they got married but it was not to the extent of cutting off communication or one person going on and on about the spouse and children as if that is the only thing we talk about. (And when we get together we gist about everything including boys, politics, money)

But then again, I insist that a lot of female friendships out there are the kind that didn't have a good foundation in the first place so I don't expect it to last when they experience perceived road blocks as this.

There is no excuse that has been given that cannot be resolved by sitting down with friends and planning how to manage issues and future clashes.

[quote author=tpia1]how many nlers are actually stay at home mums to begin with? I am not aware of any nler who has said she's one, if there are any, not more than one or two has admitted it.

this aluu mentality of hating on such women, is rather annoying sha.



from this topic alone, at least three posters came up with various silly excuses to start mentioning stay at home mums.

in actual fact, the people who talk about their husbands and kids the most, are actually females who work.

last time i checked, celebrities who always post their family and relatives pictures, are classified as working women? Or is posting their personal photos part of their work.

Am a stay at home mom, I had to leave my job to relocate to a new smaller town because I take family seriously. My baby is 9months. It's very tasking staying home all day especially in a place where you don't have any friend. I can't term myself JOBLESS, I don't have a maid so from when I hit my floor till when I lay my back on d bed am busy with breaks in between. Have learnt to balance my time, and when am less busy I surf the net keeping myself abreast with what's going on around me. My husband calls me internet wife because most times I come up with a new meal I tell him it's from the net. After our mothers left and I was saddled with taking care of my 2 months old baby I learnt most new things from the internet.

Back to the topic, my single friends are the first to ask after their son, scold me if I complain he's disturbing me and praise me when they see him looking all fresh, dab and swagged up.

My friends and I have never lived a life of competition or lie. Like they say show me your friends and I will tell you who you are. The foundation of our friendship was not built on lies, jealousy or competition. It was built on love, yes we fall out, but we always find a way to settle amicably. God am blessed with gooood friends that have turned into sisters.

If you make your single friends comfortable around you, reminding that nothing has changed, they won't feel spited. As for me I tell them that, there's no late comer in marriage or award for the person that got married first...

awhales:
My friends and I have never lived a life of competition or lie. Like they say show me your friends and I will tell you who you are. The foundation of our friendship was not built on lies, jealousy or competition. It was built on love, yes we fall out, but we always find a way to settle amicably. God am blessed with gooood friends that have turned into sisters.

I believe this says it all.

God bless you.

I think say na only me d thing dey pain.

awhales:


I find it disrespectful when people address housewives as JOBLESS... taking care of the home is full time work... most of career women find solace in maids... also some called career women don't do anything in the office than gossip...don't generalise next time when referring to housewives, the fact that you have a job doesn't make you more busy than a woman that spends her time working in her home....

tpia1: So career women do not talk about their kids and husbands?

Just asking.

They have other things to talk about

Like I said earlier, it is abnormal talking only about your children and husband when you are with your friends or colleagues

There are several topics of discussion; Ebola, Chibok girls, Church, Mosque, style of hijab, length of skirt, soup, book haram, prevented attack at Ikeja Airport etc.

It is abnormal to talk about your family and the kids you carried for nine months?

Ma'am, stop saying things because you feel you are anonymous, some of this stuff you are postulating, could bring a curse on you.


And you are even a woman?


If you are fed up of hearing people mentioning their families, you could either change the topic or stop seeing them.

But to call it abnormal, shows your problem is something deeper.

If you say people should not mention their family for security reasons, that's different from saying its abnormal.

tpia1:
But to call it abnormal, shows your problem is something deeper.

Have you ever wondered the depths of your own problems?!

I think you should sit down and take a long hard look at yourself.

@ tpia I think what she meant is when women just carry on solely about their family. Me sef that am married with a child, if you go on and on about your family I switch off it could be so booooring.

But it's normal to talk about your family, common who wouldn't? Like I always tell myself, know when to draw the line. Be sensitive and have good communication skills...#myfamily #mypride #

tpia1: It is abnormal to talk about your family and the kids you carried for nine months?

Ma'am, stop saying things because you feel you are anonymous, some of this stuff you are postulating, could bring a curse on you.


And you are even a woman?


If you are fed up of hearing people mentioning their families, you could either change the topic or stop seeing them.

But to call it abnormal, shows your problem is something deeper.

Emm tpia,

I will assume I did not see your post

Thanks

awhales: @ tpia I think what she meant is when women just carry on solely about their family. Me sef that am married with a child, if you go on and on about your family I switch off it could be so booooring.

But it's normal to talk about your family, common who wouldn't? Like I always tell myself, know when to draw the line. Be sensitive and have good communication skills...#myfamily #mypride #

Thanks

Reading comprehension should be prescribed to somebody ohh. Contact of an English teacher if possible.

bukatyne:

Emm tpia,

I will assume I did not see your post

Thanks

I don't mean to sound harsh but sometimes you have to allow for the harsh sound of what you're saying.

Saying its abnormal for someone to talk about their family? That's very harsh.

Let's say a woman has been praying for a husband, she finally got one, maybe another has been hoping for children, and God answered her prayer. You, her friend who should have even been there for her during her pregnancy, now turning to her enemy just because you don't like her talking about her responsibilities.

How do you think that makes her feel?

Granted, the single friend also feels bad because now you both don't have so much in common anymore, but why attack her family because of that?

Maybe I'm old fashioned but I thought friendship was about showing support for each other even through life's changes. Love is not love if it alters when it alteration finds.

Whatever happened to people being patient with each other anyway?

I really don't think anyone spends 24 hours talking about their family, at some point regular gossip will kick in, but imo its harsh attacking someone's family like that. I'd just quietly find new friends if I found myself unable to relate with my old ones.

I don't know if this is a nigerian thing, but overseas people display photos of their family at their workplace, discuss the grandkids, in laws, etc.


That is why I find the thread very strange.

However, if it is not safe to discuss your husband and kids, relatives, etc then people should stop doing so.

itstpia1: I don't know if this is a nigerian thing, but overseas people display photos of their family at their workplace, discuss the grandkids, in laws, etc.


That is why I find the thread very strange.

However, if it is not safe to discuss your husband and kids, relatives, etc then people should stop doing so.

tpia, stop making your own argument....
it ruins what should be an interesting debate. bukatyne said it's abnormal when the only topic some married women want to talk about is husband/kids.

she didn't say it's abnormal to talk about one's family. the operative word here is only. it then means no matter the topic you raise with these women, they still find a way of bringing husband/kids into it everytime.

Women and their issues .

I woke up this morning and thought to myself , marriage is a long-term investment and not a short term goal .
With the rate at which friends are getting tied up it's like a competition, I live in a situation where a good quantity of my male friends have kids and we all get on fine , I've noticed their partners all hang out with other ladies who have kids and my girlfriend who does not have kids would feel odd hanging out with them

coogar:

tpia, stop making your own argument....
it ruins what should be an interesting debate. bukatyne said it's abnormal when the only topic some married women want to talk about is husband/kids.

she didn't say it's abnormal to talk about one's family. the operative word here is only. it then means no matter the topic you raise with these women, they still find a way of bringing husband/kids into it everytime.

Like I said, I did not mean to sound harsh or discourage her, but the issue of "only" here is subjective.

Besides, as a woman, being empathetic is something females need to work on, we can't always copy males in everything.

itstpia1:
Like I said, I did not mean to sound harsh or discourage her, but the issue of "only" here is subjective.

Besides, as a woman, being empathetic is something females need to work on, we can't always copy males in everything.

see me thinking you are a feminist.

enkay4love: u'll simply laugh her off as a "clown",she calls him "baby"while he calls her by her name,is'nt that ridiculous?...lol

And whats your business with what married people call themselves? If he calls her goat and she calls him angel, How e take concern you

coogar:

see me thinking you are a feminist.

i always consider you a misogynist too.

anyway, i already said, married peeps should reduce the rate at which they discuss their families if the audience is not conducive to such.

broaden the conversation arena.

My opinion.

In life,there should always be a balance.You can keep your married friends and as well make friends with the singles like you.The moment you start noticing any form of jealousness/not comfortable around your so called married friends, keep a distance,maybe that wll help you,however,i do not seem to get what should warrant that.Listen and contribute when they talk,you'll not loose by paying attention and gist about yourself too except your life is extremely boring.It might be the way you are carrying yourself around as if marriage is the ultimate thing to achieve in life.

Most of my friends are married, and trust me,they do envy me most times.You don't want to know what they are going through in their marriage(s) even though women are fond of camouflaging.

In a nutshell,get busy and productive,pray,enjoy your life till Mr right comes your way and hangout with the married if it is really necessary.Remember being single is not a disease nor a crime.There is time for everything in life,and your time gets closer day by day.Don't fall a prey of depression,you're still young.It is not about how far,but how well.

carefreewannabe: I didn't read it all but I also thought of jealousy after reading the girl's problem. I don't have such issue around my married friends. I enjoy their company without any negative feelings.

It's not jealousy, I understand completely what this girl is going through. I have a friend like who judges everyone around her that is not married, funniest thing is that, she was the very loose type but she has turned to an adviser now because she's married. The other day she pinged me telling to mind the way I spend money as I'm preparing for my wedding because she knows I like big things.This was somebody who never stayed in her parents house because it wasn't well furnished, she jumped from one friend's house to the other until she settled down, I know a number of men she dated and even slept with. It's just so annoying when people claim to be saints only because they are married. Even her mum always cautioned her then to be like me (I'm not bragging) but now she behaves as if I'm suffering or not up to my mates because I didn't get married when she did even though I explained the challenges I was having regarding my relationship.

I don't see anything wrong with a friend telling me stories about her family as the OP mentioned.The things I mentioned are just what I don't like.

My dear your friends are probably different..I don't have many friends and not all of them that are married behave like the one I just mentioned above.

DollyParton1:

This reminds me of the first person that wished me a happy new year this year. The first prayer she said was ..." I pray you get married this year". I had to go mute on her. And she was expecting me to shout Amen!! Or something. She kept saying "say Amen". I simply told her that the prayer I need right now is getting into an internship programme. Then she remembered I was jobless, and was like that's true.
The society is not helping at all. Even if u don't care people around you will frustrate you.
Like 90% of my friends are married and I am very comfortable with them. We visit each other a lot, and we do occasional sleep overs when we can. They discuss their husbands and kids and even their husband's family members with me and really I don't find it offending.
Marriage is the last thing that will intimidate me.

Hmmmm. Me sha see you oo

anthoniaz:

It's not jealousy, I understand completely what this girl is going through. I have a friend like who judges everyone around her that is not married, funniest thing is that, she was the very loose type but she has turned to an adviser now because she's married. The other day she pinged me telling to mind the way I spend money as I'm preparing for my wedding because she knows I like big things.This was somebody who never stayed in her parents house because it wasn't well furnished, she jumped from one friend's house to the other until she settled down, I know a number of men she dated and even slept with. It's just so annoying when people claim to be saints only because they are married. Even her mum always cautioned her then to be like me (I'm not bragging) but now she behaves as if I'm suffering or not up to my mates because I didn't get married when she did even though I explained the challenges I was having regarding my relationship.

I don't see anything wrong with a friend telling me stories about her family as the OP mentioned.The things I mentioned are just what I don't like.

My dear your friends are probably different..I don't have many friends and not all of them that are married behave like the one I just mentioned above.

You can't choose your family but you can choose your friends so I don't understand why you call this girl your friend and waste your precious time with her.

Stupid Tpia has ruined this thread!

Foolish old woman

Now i am so pissed. My friend is getting married, we are all excited nd all that. We've not had any other discussion outside this wedding. She only told us about the white wedding. I simply asked her when her traditional wedding is, nd y she didnt tell us abi she dont want us to come. This girl flared up. That she's disappointed in me. So i need an invitation to attend her trad? Common sense should have told me to prepare for d trad along with the church wedding. Fellow landers, where did i go wrong? If i act up, it looks like i am just jealous

Its not jealousy its boredom that sometimes make singles distance themselves .

I have married friends that spend 99.9% discussing husband and kids. if its not breast feeding , its husband, if its not husband it is mother in law and labor pain.

Even when you stylishly try to change topic they will move it back their . I also have married friends that I can discuss anything and have a good time with. So I tend to gravitate towards those ones. The pampers association will put it down to me being jealous but guess what I find all the gist BORING