Edusouls: Shut up all u jealous girls, girls of nowadays are unable to find and secure husbands, they overgrow and get old, claiming they re going to school, and in that school most of them loose all they have got as women, cos they accquire lots of terrible vices to their life of pretence, multiple boyfriends, dishonesty, materialism, umannered, casual sex, easy abortion, cunning behaviour, smart lies,wickedness, cheating habits, the worst is that women are so dumb that they dont even know their problems becos is so numerous. They should know that it will only get worse, cos of their lifestyle, as so many overgrown and matured ladies roam the streets with hypocritical life style, sorry if they realy want to start marrying, they have lots,lots of work to do on their lives, cos it too baad.

Gaggi: Women see marriage as an achievement. Instead of friends calling themselves by their names as before they start calling themselves mummy dis or Mrs dis. That automatically puts them on a different pedestal and makes their single friends feel odd.
We guys still call ourselves by nicknames, the single ones don't even remember the married ones are married. Nobody made me feel odd when I was single and I don't make anyone feel odd for being single. We hardly discuss our marriages as it's irrelevant to our friendship.

KanwuliaJara: Single people have NO business hanging out with married people!
Nothing in common!
They should only meet in PUBLIC places like social gatherings!
The sentiments cannot be avoided.

Even if the married people ACT LIKE MARRIED PEOPLE. . . .which comes naturally. . .THE SINGLE PEOPLE WILL ALWAYS COMPLAIN!
Making innocents statements which bring up HUSBAND AND CHILDREN. . .will ALWAYS CAUSE FEELINGS OF INSECURITY WITH THE SINGLE PEEPS!

The reason I AVOID THEM!
[size=20pt]THE SINGLE WOMEN ARE THE VERY WORST!!!![/size]
You can never totally feel free to discuss your life WITH THEM without sounding like you are 'pitying' them or making them feel 'inadequate'!
Even if you say to them. . .I CAN'T WAIT FOR MY HUSBAND TO COME BACK FROM WORK. . . or I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE KIDS TO COME BACK FROM SCHOOL. . . . Ha! You are mocking them because they are single.

NANSENZZZZZZZZZZZE!!!

Yes. . . some married people MEAN TO DO JUST THAT! Their prerogative!
STAY ON YOUR OWN OR GO OUT WITH ONLY SINGLE PEEPS!
Period!

I DON'T ENTERTAIN THEM IN MY HOUSE. . . . . ESPECIALLY THE FEMALES. . . .I get extremely irritated by their 'sme-sme' nonsense! I don't wanna cuss them out with all that 'self-pity' and 'insecurities' going on within THEIR BODIES, MINDS AND SOULS!
If I were single. . . I WILL NEVER HANG OUT WITH ANY MARRIED WOMAN! NEVER!!!!! I WOULD NOT GIVVVVVA A QUARTER OF A PHOCK WHAT SHE GAT EITHER! Na me sen dem 'marriage message'? Soooooooooooo, why should I CARE?

Sheeeeeeeeeesh!

pickabeau1: women are their own worst enemies... makes u wonder what the rationale for the online solidarity one sees

red101:
Justi4jesu, you are right that it is the jobless housewives that are most guilty of it. Like you said, what else is there for them to talk about? they have no life outside their marriage.
I will advice the single lady to find other friends.

bukatyne:

I think you get the meat of the gist.

Men married or not will discuss family, sports, work, music, car etc. so I wonder why married women should only discuss husband and kids.

What happened to fashion, current trends, hair, music, work, nation etc?

EfemenaXY:

Lol!

The simple reason is time jare. And (unhealthy) competition. That's the problem with many of us ladies.

Take hair for example. Apart from those mums working for / with an employer, how many of the other mums have the time to go to the salon, much less spend the whole day there? Our single sisters can afford to spend all day at the salon, no sweat but it's different for us mums - especially if you've got crazy school runs to do every single day, Mon - Fri. It's not unusual to find some mums at the school gates with a coat masking their pyjamas, or a wig hastily slapped on to hide hairs that haven't been retouched for over six weeks! Make up? Lucky if many of these mums remember to do more than hurriedly slap on some lipstick sef. Mind you, the things I've listed aren't meant to slight the mums, but just to highlight the fact that there just isn't enough time. Twenty-four certainly isn't enough in one day.

Fashion: This is where the competition comes out jare where you'll see ladies "sizing" each other up, comparing the costs / value of clothes, shoes, bags, accessories, rides, etc. I mean, it's even done in church sef. Childbirth brings about bodily changes and unless you're a health / gym freak, it's a hard task keeping the weight off. This is where insecurity (from the married ones) comes in and it sort of explains why many married women don't want their single friends coming round to visit them regularly for fear that encouraging them to do so would inadvertly encourage their oga to start noticing how much slimmer, more packaged, (and perhaps sexier?) the friend is. Comparisms and criticisms start from this point from the man, so as far as the married woman is concerned, why invite trouble into your home in the first place? And to make them (married women) feel better, many of them rub their husbands and kids in the face of the singletons as a way of hitting back.

Current trends: Only actively discussed between these two different groups of women if it's business related.

Work: That common ground exists if the married / single ladies are work colleagues, so yes, there'll be that common ground for them to base their discussions on. It's also within this environment that they'll feel free enough with each other to have diverse talks that include music, current affairs, national events / occurrences, etc.

Kimmo: Honestly, only a few people got the writer's perspective.
I've been there before, and I simply moved on. If said friend needs me, she knows how to find me.
It can be hard to be single in this country though, considering how we feel about marriage.
Every informal interaction with family and friends carries the "when are you getting married" undertone.
On January 1, when everyone was exchanging goodwill for the new year, the only exception to this were people I knew through work. Every text, ping, call, physical greeting mentioned that God would bless me with a husband this year.
Aunts, Uncles, friends, parents friends, cousins etc. I didn't used to care, but the pressure almost got me into trouble.
Now, I tune out when they start playing that song.

Let the single lady put herself in the married lady's shoes. From what I've seen of marriage, it's tasking. And to make it last, one has to give it her all.
Plus, what kind of friend is the single lady too?

bukatyne: True but if the men can manage it, we should probably learn from them

It is odd talking about your husband and children every time you meet with your friends anyways

hardbody:

I notice how this discussion turned to only female discussion. Says a whole lot about the specie called women. They even dig and scratch for trouble where there's none. Thank God I am a man.

KanwuliaJara:

With BIG-BIG Teeth too!

Gaggi: Women see marriage as an achievement. Instead of friends calling themselves by their names as before they start calling themselves mummy dis or Mrs dis. That automatically puts them on a different pedestal and makes their single friends feel odd.
We guys still call ourselves by nicknames, the single ones don't even remember the married ones are married. Nobody made me feel odd when I was single and I don't make anyone feel odd for being single. We hardly discuss our marriages as it's irrelevant to our friendship.

pickabeau1: women are their own worst enemies... makes u wonder what the rationale for the online solidarity one sees

pickabeau1: women are their own worst enemies... makes u wonder what the rationale for the online solidarity one sees

DollyParton1:

This reminds me of the first person that wished me a happy new year this year. The first prayer she said was ..." I pray you get married this year". I had to go mute on her. And she was expecting me to shout Amen!! Or something. She kept saying "say Amen". I simply told her that the prayer I need right now is getting into an internship programme. Then she remembered I was jobless, and was like that's true.
The society is not helping at all. Even if u don't care people around you will frustrate you.
Like 90% of my friends are married and I am very comfortable with them. We visit each other a lot, and we do occasional sleep overs when we can. They discuss their husbands and kids and even their husband's family members with me and really I don't find it offending.
Marriage is the last thing that will intimidate me.

Sunshinelady: . Chai diariz godu o, see all dese pple acting like dey weren't once single, or dey won't hav daughters dat will be singl b4 bein married. U pple hav just proved d OP right. Anyways, d truth is dat many married ladies don't feel comfortabl around single ladies, mostly cos dey r afraid d lady is out to steal their man or somtin, for instance in a church wen a singl lady dresses scantilly if u see d women rainin curse on her u go fear, but if its a married or pregnant woman pple will look d oda way. I feel d hostility of married women twrds singles is mostly insecurity. Women generally beef each other, talk more of wen there is now disparity of married & not married. But make una no vex 2much , singles will still marry & join d caucus of married women, so dat everybody will be one big happy family

phineas: I don't get this country,with majority in poverty,and the ones we call the middle class actually been those that have patched it together and can just barely scrape by while praying no emmergency comes up,we place so much emphasis on marriage in the most productive years of their lives...

I would have thought most would have learnt from their parents,do not let anyone or society pressure them into marry till they have settled milestones in life..

So young pple that should be contemplating industries,consolidating. carrear growth Amongst others take up marriage because they are 26 and have found love, an emmergency occurs and a whole family nuclear and extended cannot raise a million naira

This is nigeria and not jand if u don't come from a family that can shoulder some of your responsibilities from time to time,if u have no background to cater for emmergencies forget what pple say,build yourself,build carrear,travel,maximise and create opportunities,only then when u have created a steady base should you start talking marriage.and our soceity should really stop celebrating mediocrity.this goes to both male and female.Husbands promotion kor... Husband that leaves them @ forty... Silly pple.

red101:
Justi4jesu, you are right that it is the jobless housewives that are most guilty of it. Like you said, what else is there for them to talk about? they have no life outside their marriage.
I will advice the single lady to find other friends. Even if she wants to keep married friends, she should find ones that aren't jobless. I would prefer to be friends with a woman who can tell me about her own promotion instead of always talking about her husband's. How does her husband concern me?