Acidosis:

Who says cheating is not good? You can only find that in the Holy Book Telling an atheist to abstain from adultery is like telling him to pay tithes and offering. Atheism is not against adultery. Adultery is a SIN and nothing is SINful to a non-believer.

and to whom exactly are you presenting your marital vows? To the same God you never accepted?

Even the customary court where most atheists run to for marital vows have nothing against a cheat. Unlike a thief who gets punished for stealing in the law court; a cheating husband has no case/business in court (except divorce).

Not all atheists think cheating is good. I know atheists who have many more principles than church goers.

Cece23:


It is rare to see a man that keeps to that vow.I keep on hearing same issue of cheating in most marriages and someone is telling me to ignore him.My question is if I continue ignoring it,when is he going to change.

My sister I will advice you to ignore him, try to be happy and take good care of urself because if u continue to confront, get bothered or play investigator and in the process u develop health problems and pass on the man will simply bring in the new woman..the new woman may even be at ur funeral.. So keep ignoring, keep taking care of urself, try to be happy and just pray.

zeongeon: My sister I will advice you to ignore him, try to be happy and take good care of urself because if u continue to confront, get bothered or play investigator and in the process u develop health problems and pass on the man will simply bring in the new woman..the new woman may even be at ur funeral.. So keep ignoring, keep taking care of urself, try to be happy and just pray.

Typical Nollywood advice. The normal 'Ignore mode' activated advice for married women only.

zeongeon: My sister I will advice you to ignore him, try to be happy and take good care of urself because if u continue to confront, get bothered or play investigator and in the process u develop health problems and pass on the man will simply bring in the new woman..the new woman may even be at ur funeral.. So keep ignoring, keep taking care of urself, try to be happy and just pray.

Thanks Dear,I will try.am grateful

OP, To answer your question; This is because such men never take the sanctity of marriage seriously and DO NOT know what marriage is about. The Society we are living in does not encourage these men to be responsible and take marriage seriously. There is a common belief that you can only transform a woman to be a good wife only if you are mean and a cheat. Afterall, what is the usual advice given to women whose husbands cheat? To bear, always pray, never think of divorce and keep on loving their husbands no matter what as if they are robots with no human feelings or emotions. In order words, you should be the one to clean his mess and make the maarriage work This belief alone will never make such men change from their ways. Unfortunately, we will continue to have such irresponsible men if excuses are always made for them and they are not left to face the consequences of their actions. I hope they will also come up with the same excuses for cheating married women too.

Op, while you are in the 'Ignore mode' preached to you here and there, remember HIV and Ebola are Real. You are wearing the shoes. Do what makes you happy. The choice is entirely yours.

carefreewannabe:

Not all atheists think cheating is good. I know atheists who have many more principles than church goers.

I like that word "church goers".

cococandy:
You typed and posted this?

Lol

carefreewannabe:

Not all atheists think cheating is good. I know atheists who have many more principles than church goers.

I like that word "church goers".

Acidosis:
I like that word "church goers".

Why?

Men have polygamy imprinted in there dna..Men struggle with LUST right from d age of puberty till they die..Men are not easily contented or satisfied hence we always want more..All MEN have that tendency to stray or cheat plus women of these days aren't helping matters most are desperate and will go to any length to get a man to fall.

Cheating doesn't mean until u hv slept with the person, Chatting with a lady and giving her d attention for ur wife is cheating, flirting with words is cheating, sleeping with some woman who just walked paSs u in ur mind is also cheating.

With the temptations out there, as a MAN ur decision alone not to cheat is not enough..U have to manage the decision for the rest of ur life coming up with ways to fortify ur mind and choice of not to cheat..example not getting to friendly with women when ur married ur relationships with other women should be So so so platonic..Hi, hello, goodmorning, bye and that's it.

ITs not easy BUT with grace from God its poSsible.

Sophyrocks: OP, To answer your question; This is because such men never take the sanctity of marriage seriously and DO NOT know what marriage is about. The Society we are living in does not encourage these men to be responsible and take marriage seriously. There is a common belief that you can only transform a woman to be a good wife only if you are mean and a cheat. Afterall, what is the usual advice given to women whose husbands cheat? To bear, always pray, never think of divorce and keep on loving their husbands no matter what as if they are robots with no human feelings or emotions. In order words, you should be the one to clean his mess and make the maarriage work This belief alone will never make such men change from their ways. Unfortunately, we will continue to have such irresponsible men if excuses are always made for them and they are not left to face the consequences of their actions. I hope they will also come up with the same excuses for cheating married women too.

Op, while you are in the 'Ignore mode' preached to you here and there, remember HIV and Ebola are Real. You are wearing the shoes. Do what makes you happy. The choice is entirely yours.

Aii. You have said it all baby. Nothing to add...

Don't laugh.
That was a grossly uninformed submission.

You don't vow to God. You vow to your partner.

Atheism isn't sans morality(good or bad)

And cheating isn't about sinning here. It's more about breach of contract. If you breach the conditions YOU AGREED to when getting married. You face the consequences. It's not about morality,sin or belief in god. It's about justice.

What's that about some courts not having anything against a cheat or a cheat not having a business in court?
If your marriage vows included 'forsaking all others'
And you said 'I do' to it,you have a case to answer in court if she drags your a$$ there.

Quit encouraging women to put up with bullsh1t.


Anyway for those taking you seriously,I have red bras and black pants in abundance. (Victoria's secret only) So they can wear it while praying for the man to get tired of philandering.meanwhile risking STDs and suffering silent pain instead of facing the issue squarely and getting it sorted once and for all.

Sweeping problems under the carpet don't make them go away.it only let's them breed and fester until everything is destroyed.

Acidosis:
Lol

carefreewannabe:

Why?

erm, a church goer is someone that attends a church. Attending church services may not produce good characters/discipline.

I'm not doubting the fact that some atheists have good morals. The only problem with their morality is the non-accountability to no one which makes it risky and deadly. They act by choice; not by demand from a supreme one.

Frankly, only the bible talked about a marriage between a man and a woman. An atheist's decision to marry two wives is a matter of choice. Nothing stops him from marrying 5, 10, 15...

Let me ask you:

Is it wrong for a man to marry two wives? (Yes, right?)

Okay, why?

Sophyrocks:

Typical Nollywood advice. The normal 'Ignore mode' activated advice for married women only.

Sophyrocks this isn't about nollywood..its hard to change a grown man..its even hard to change a human being..U don't go about talking about same thing over and over again... A wise man was told me that at times silence/ignoring is the best revenge.

Some the more u talk or give them attention the more women they will keep..Its better to ignore such a man face ur life, make urself happy rather than having high bloody pressure, insomnia, kidney and liver problems because of worrying..Think about the trauma and abuse d woman will keep exposing herself too.

zeongeon: Sophyrocks this isn't about nollywood..its hard to change a grown man..its even hard to change a human being..U don't go about talking about same thing over and over again... A wise man was told me that at times silence/ignoring is the best revenge.

Some the more u talk or give them attention the more women they will keep..Its better to ignore such a man face ur life, make urself happy rather than having high bloody pressure, insomnia, kidney and liver problems because of worrying..Think about the trauma and abuse d woman will keep exposing herself too.

Alright she is to be silent and be in the 'ignore mode' so what next? For sure she has to keep sleeping with her husband so as not to chase him out to another woman right? when she contacts an infection from him while being in the ignoring mode, what do you suggest she should do? How does being blind and dumb change a cheating husband? LOOKING AROUND YOU, Has this method been successful in changing many cheating married men today?

AdeniyiA:
you've not met a truly born again, you only described a born 'wuruwuru' brother .
A faithful man is truly born again....

.

OK pastor

zeongeon: Men have polygamy imprinted in there dna..Men struggle with LUST right from d age of puberty till they die..Men are not easily contented or satisfied hence we always want more..All MEN have that tendency to stray or cheat plus women of these days aren't helping matters most are desperate and will go to any length to get a man to fall.

Cheating doesn't mean until u hv slept with the person, Chatting with a lady and giving her d attention for ur wife is cheating, flirting with words is cheating, sleeping with some woman who just walked paSs u in ur mind is also cheating.

With the temptations out there, as a MAN ur decision alone not to cheat is not enough..U have to manage the decision for the rest of ur life coming up with ways to fortify ur mind and choice of not to cheat..example not getting to friendly with women when ur married ur relationships with other women should be So so so platonic..Hi, hello, goodmorning, bye and that's it.

ITs not easy BUT with grace from God its poSsible.

Now The bolded is the sort of generalisation we were kicking against in that Paedophilia thread. All men are this, all men are that. Meaning, All men are brainless with absolutely no control over their Pen1ses. Why are you generalising?


Are you christian? If so, why does the bible kicck against Adultery? Why is adultery only remembered when a woman commits it? Why the double standards? Does the bible teach double standards?

Acidosis:
erm, a church goer is someone that attends a church. Attending church services may not produce good characters/discipline.

It may or may not, I agree.

I'm not doubting the fact that some atheists have good morals. The only problem with their morality is the non-accountability to no one which makes it risky and deadly. They act by choice; not by demand from a supreme one.

I don't see it as a problem. Some people are Christian or Muslim and kill hundreds of people despite their belief in a a higher being.

Frankly, only the bible talked about a marriage between a man and a woman. An atheist's decision to marry two wives is a matter of choice. Nothing stops him from marrying 5, 10, 15...

Some Christians are convinced that it is ok for them to be polygamous but that's another topic. Anyone can choose to be polygamous.

Let me ask you:

Is it wrong for a man to marry two wives? (Yes, right?)

Okay, why?

If the people involved in polygamy are ALL ok with it then it is not my job to judge them.

greatgod2012:


and please o, where did i insult you o, you yourself agreed that you didn't explain yourself better, so when you didn't explain yourself better, how would you expect me to know what you meant.
Now that you have explained yourself better now, can you now see that we are on the same page on the issue.
You said you broke up with a guy before marriage because of cheating, i broke up with a guy because he told me a lie, if i couldn't tolerate lying, can i tolerate cheating then?
Before we got married, we already know what we couldn't tolerate for each other, and we agreed on Cheating and any form of abuse.
So, can you see that we are on the same page now, next time, endeavour to explain yourself better in order to avoid being misunderstood.

ok. Yes we are on the same page. I will try and always explain myself better. Cheers

cococandy: Don't laugh.
That was a grossly uninformed submission.

You don't vow to God. You vow to your partner.

Atheism isn't sans morality(good or bad)

And cheating isn't about sinning here. It's more about breach of contract. If you breach the conditions YOU AGREED to when getting married. You face the consequences. It's not about morality,sin or belief in god. It's about justice.

What's that about some courts not having anything against a cheat or a cheat not having a business in court?
If your marriage vows included 'forsaking all others'
And you said 'I do' to it,you have a case to answer in court if she drags your a$$ there.

Quit encouraging women to put up with bullsh1t.


Anyway for those taking you seriously,I have red bras and black pants in abundance. (Victoria's secret only) So they can wear it while praying for the man to get tired of philandering.meanwhile risking STDs and suffering silent pain instead of facing the issue squarely and getting it sorted once and for all.

Sweeping problems under the carpet don't make them go away.it only let's them breed and fester until everything is destroyed.

Kpomkwem!! The bolded is the major reason why cheating amongst married men is soooo rampant and therefore seen as NORMAL. The more the women are advised to 'keep prayng and loving' the more the men are having a field day humping up and down with different wh0res. The same wh0res they call 'HUSBAND SNATCHERS'. HAS THE FAMOUS NOLLYWOOD ADVICE STOPPED MEN FROM CHEATING? That is the question. this is why some so called 'Patient and praying' wives end up cheating on their husbands after fruitless efforts or no results of change from their cheating husbands. Some women dnt bother nagging at all about it. The 'Ignore Mode and make yourself happy ish' is indirectly used as a Door to cheat. They just go right ahead to cheat. So far nobody disturbs their runs outside. Open Marriage na ni.

Sophyrocks:

Alright she is to be silent and be in the 'ignore mode' so what next? For sure she has to keep sleeping with her husband so as not to chase him out to another woman right? when she contacts an infection from him while being in the ignoring mode, what do you suggest she should do? How does being blind and dumb change a cheating husband? LOOKING AROUND YOU, Has this method been successful in changing many cheating married men today?

Ignoring doesn't mean ur dumb and blind it simply means u can actually do something good with ur life rather than seat all day brooding over a cheating man..and as for contracting infection and sleeping with her husband I hve heard women clearly say they won't sleep with there husband when its clear he is cheating or better still separate..some women won't even b in a good mind state sleeping with there cheating hubby.. I will keep advicing women that when ur husband cheats and u have talked about it and tried to ur capacity please ignore him so u don't die before ur time cos of a cheating husband and a mistress somewhere...I have seen women who the ignoring trick actually worked for after talking and doing all she could do she at a point found out she started having high blood pressure so she decided to ignore the man and take good care of herself, lived her life normally letting nothing bother her coupled with praying too..a day came and d hubby changed ended d cheating relationship..Now think of if she had died from high blood pressure just because of a cheating man it wouldn't have made sense at all...sophyrocks pray u don't end up with a cheating man highest u do is divorce.

zeongeon: Ignoring doesn't mean ur dumb and blind it simply means u can actually do something good with ur life rather than seat all day brooding over a cheating man..and as for contracting infection and sleeping with her husband I hve heard women clearly say they won't sleep with there husband when its clear he is cheating or better still separate..some women won't even b in a good mind state sleeping with there cheating hubby.. I will keep advicing women that when ur husband cheats and u have talked about it and tried to ur capacity please ignore him so u don't die before ur time cos of a cheating husband and a mistress somewhere...I have seen women who the ignoring trick actually worked for after talking and doing all she could do she at a point found out she started having high blood pressure so she decided to ignore the man and take good care of herself, lived her life normally letting nothing bother her coupled with praying too..a day came and d hubby changed ended d cheating relationship..Now think of if she had died from high blood pressure just because of a cheating man it wouldn't have made sense at all...sophyrocks pray u don't end up with a cheating man highest u do is divorce.

Of course, Divorce is certainly in my books when i come across an unrepentant cheat.

You are right about she living her life and taking good care of herself. But you know that living your life on ignore mode for long is equal to seperation. Its just as if both couple are strangers. Like two roommates. NO INTIMACY NO NOTHING. If care isnt taken, her husband could bring in a baby mama. We can't deny that It happens very often. well, each and everyone one of us have our limits to tolerance and know how else we would deal with such issues. I am absolutely sure you won't be in the Ignore and Pray mode if your own wife cheats on you? Would you?

cococandy: Don't laugh.
That was a grossly uninformed submission.

You don't vow to God. You vow to your partner.

Atheism isn't sans morality(good or bad)

And cheating isn't about sinning here. It's more about breach of contract. If you breach the conditions YOU AGREED to when getting married. You face the consequences. It's not about morality,sin or belief in god. It's about justice.

What's that about some courts not having anything against a cheat or a cheat not having a business in court?
If your marriage vows included 'forsaking all others'
And you said 'I do' to it,you have a case to answer in court if she drags your a$$ there.

Quit encouraging women to put up with bullsh1t.


Anyway for those taking you seriously,I have red bras and black pants in abundance. (Victoria's secret only) So they can wear it while praying for the man to get tired of philandering.meanwhile risking STDs and suffering silent pain instead of facing the issue squarely and getting it sorted once and for all.

Sweeping problems under the carpet don't make them go away.it only let's them breed and fester until everything is destroyed.

In one statement, what do you recommend? Divorce?

If you watch my posts carefully, you'd see I really do not have any painkiller for her headache. I'm only suggesting ways for others to escape such similar problem.

The court as you suggest cannot help a 'cheated wife'. What exactly do you want a judge to do? Kill the man, or chop off his blokos? Of what purpose is the vow if the customary judge cannot enforce the rule of law?
You seem to forget so fast the power and efficacy of a blokos.

Sophyrocks:

Now The bolded is the sort of generalisation we were kicking against in that Paedophilia thread. All men are this, all men are that. Meaning, All men are brainless with absolutely no control over their Pen1ses. Why are you generalising?


Are you christian? If so, why does the bible kicck against Adultery? Why is adultery only remembered when a woman commits it? Why the double standards? Does the bible teach double standards?

I am not generalizing its a known fact that men like women and we are capable of liking more than and having more than one BUT the CHOICE to stick to woman is what makes the difference..Its what makes man A different from man B.

Adultery is bad for both men and women its not good. Yet again commiting adultery is a choice and men are capable and at times even entertain the thought BUT then CHOICE comes to play u can either choose to fall or stand.

Temptation is everly present its a choice to either give in or stand strong.

carefreewannabe:

It may or may not, I agree.



I don't see it as a problem. Some people are Christian or Muslim and kill hundreds of people despite their belief in a a higher being.



Some Christians are convinced that it is ok for them to be polygamous but that's another topic. Anyone can choose to be polygamous.



If the people involved in polygamy are ALL ok with it then it is not my job to judge them.

hmnn

It amazes and annoys me the way men seem to blame their cheating on their wives. Who doesn't change after marriage? Is it the man who doesn't change. I have seen a lot of friends get married and they changed over time.

The challenges of marriage and life changed them. A lot of the men also became lazy too. My cousin's hubby does nothing. She takes care of her 6 months old and 2 years old, the housechores and still runs after the man picking up after him.

She left my place yesterday after complaining bitterly. Does that push her to cheat?

A man cheats and you will hear people advising the wife to become more caring and give him more sex. What happens to the pain and betrayal she is feeling?

Women are begining to cheat back in droves and though that's not a right move as two wrongs dnt make a right, but I can't say I blame them. She who wears the shoe knows where it hurts.

Sophyrocks:

Of course, Divorce is certainly in my books when i come across an unrepentant cheat.

You are right about she living her life and taking good care of herself. But you know that living your life on ignore mode for long is equal to seperation. Its just as if both couple are strangers. Like two roommates. NO INTIMACY NO NOTHING. If care isnt taken, her husband could bring in a baby mama. We cßan't deny that It happens very often. well, each and everyone one of us have our limits to tolerance and know how else we would deal with such issues. I am absolutely sure you won't be in the Ignore and Pray mode if your own wife cheats on you? Would you?

what do u think the effects of cheating is U just listed them in ur post, that's what cheating does I.e living like 2 roommates even if u don't ignore ur man ur man may ignore and deny u off certain things indirectly becos of d woman outside..So there is no point brooding for u do urself more harm and slowly depression and frustration will take over the persons life.

I did simply ignore and forget her and move on. Or U won't me to commit murder and end up in jail or keep bothering myself only to end up with kidney problem die and then she starts to share my property and live in my house with the said man.

Even the book of proverbs said: a living dog is better than a dead lion.

zeongeon: I am not generalizing its a known fact that men like women and we are capable of liking more than and having more than one BUT the CHOICE to stick to woman is what makes the difference..Its what makes man A different from man B.

Adultery is bad for both men and women its not good. Yet again commiting adultery is a choice and men are capable and at times even entertain the thought BUT then CHOICE comes to play u can either choose to fall or stand.

Temptation is everly present its a choice to either give in or stand strong.

Good. DO YOU USE ALLTHESE EXCUSES OF LIKING MORE THAN ONE PERSON AT A TIME FOR CHEATING WOMEN TOO? because the last time i checked, all humans can be greedy too and chose to have romantic feelings for more than one person. It happens a lot for both sexes. This excuse of eating only rice and wanting a different delicacy to justify cheating, also affects every human. All humans are selfish. We only try to control or do away with it. So therefore, you will also agree that women also get tempted with the tonnes of men chasing them still inspite of being married.

To me, i feel we all should stop justifying cheating with ridiculous theories BECAUSE THESE THEORIES APPLY ALSO TO WOMEN. Women also cheat as you can see. Some chose not to simply because they are disciplined. I dnt want to believe you men are that brainless while your pen1ses do the thinking for you so much that discipline cannot be achieved. So stop painting every man with the same brush. Except maybe you have been clearly describing yourself alone. JUST AS EVERY WOMAN CANNOT BE A PROSTITUTE, SO ALSO NOT ALL MEN CHEAT.

zeongeon: what do u think the effects of cheating is U just listed them in ur post, that's what cheating does I.e living like 2 roommates even if u don't ignore ur man ur man may ignore and deny u off certain things indirectly becos of d woman outside..So there is no point brooding for u do urself more harm and slowly depression and frustration will take over the persons life.

I did simply ignore and forget her and move on. Or U won't me to commit murder and end up in jail or keep bothering myself only to end up with kidney problem die and then she starts to share my property and live in my house with the said man.

Even the book of proverbs said: a living dog is better than a dead lion.

GOOD. The bolded has shown you have Zero tolerance for cheating from a woman. I myself have zero tolerance. I also would create crazy thoughts in my head of strangling my man should i remain in that house, blowing his brains off in his sleep, looking at his face every single day. which is why divorcce is my ish!!

Why is it so easy for you to advise a woman to ignore and pray in that same house with her cheating husband? Do you know the Op's temperament? Have you not heard of cases of women putting stuff in their husband's food or cutting off their pen1ses because of cheating? the op mentioned that she would go for seperation. who knows, she has her reasons perhaps for the sake of her sanity and peace of mind. You know very well it aint easy playing the ignoring, loving wife when a husband cheats. Not every woman can do thaat. Sorry. We aint wood or puppets!! YOU CANT stand the sight of your wife when that happens. so why advise her to ignore and pray?

Sophyrocks:

GOOD. The bolded has shown you have Zero tolerance for cheating from a woman. I myself have zero tolerance. I also would create crazy thoughts in my head of strangling my man should i remain in that house, blowing his brains off in his sleep, looking at his face every single day. which is why divorcce is my ish!!

Why is it so easy for you to advise a woman to ignore and pray in that same house with her cheating husband? Do you know the Op's temperament? Have you not heard of cases of women putting stuff in their husband's food or cutting off their pen1ses because of cheating? the op mentioned that she would go for seperation. who knows, she has her reasons perhaps for the sake of her sanity and peace of mind. You know very well it aint easy playing the ignoring, loving wife when a husband cheats. Not every woman can do thaat. Sorry. We aint wood or puppets!! YOU CANT stand the sight of your wife when that happens. so why advise her to ignore and pray?

Sophymore the advice I gave her is the best I can give her I can't go advicing someone I don't know to divorce or free her husband that decision is her's to make and not mine...it isn't easy playin loving wife knowing ur husband cheats BUT there some pple that with some sort of grace still love there spouse though he or she cheats.

Moving on, ignoring and forgetting her wouldn't necessarily mean vacating my house for her or not praying for her if I can.

I still stand by my advice let her ignore, be happy, get a life and pray.

Godmother: It amazes and annoys me the way men seem to blame their cheating on their wives. Who doesn't change after marriage? Is it the man who doesn't change. I have seen a lot of friends get married and they changed over time.

The challenges of marriage and life changed them. A lot of the men also became lazy too. My cousin's hubby does nothing. She takes care of her 6 months old and 2 years old, the housechores and still runs after the man picking up after him.

She left my plan yesterday after complaining bitterly. Does that push her to cheat?

A man cheats and you will hear people advising the wife to become more caring and give him more sex. What happens to the pain and betrayal she is feeling?

Women are begining to cheat back in droves and though that's not a right move as two wrongs dnt make a right, but I can't say I blame them. She who wears the shoe knows where it hurts.

My sister, almost everyone changes after marriage. Na only woman dey change? Men have changes we have to deal with it too. Everybody is complaining. So simply because of those changes cheating MUST occur? All these excuses doesnt help matters at all. This is why cheating has come to stay. Everybody is sweeping matter under carpet with the 'ignore fast and pray' advice.

You see all those girls marrying because of money, do you think they will remain faithful forever? Hell-to-the-freaking NO. WHEN YOU SEE A GROWING NUMBER OF WOMEN MARRYING FOR OTHER REASONS THAN LOVE, CHEATNG WILL BECOME VERY EASY FOR EVERYONE. Some women have stopped bothering themselves about it and decide to just have fun with their lives. Who get time to develop b.p because of man matter? After dem don pray finish, no show, na to cut runs outside be their next best thing. Abeg, ive stopped judging a long time ago.

zeongeon: Sophymore the advice I gave her is the best I can give her I can't go advicing someone I don't know to divorce or free her husband that decision is her's to make and not mine...it isn't easy playin loving wife knowing ur husband cheats BUT there some pple that with some sort of grace still love there spouse though he or she cheats.

Moving on, ignoring and forgetting her wouldn't necessarily mean vacating my house for her or not praying for her if I can.

I still stand by my advice let her ignore, be happy, get a life and pray.

DO AS I SAY BUT NOT AS I DO. Typical nollywood advice. ISSORAIT. Everyone is free to be hypocrite.