Knowing you don't want to continue like this is a step forward...I'm not a counselor neither am I a doctor but one or more of these should help

1) You CANNOT reach out to everybody:

you wish you could but the truth is you CAN'T...not even to all members of your family,just let them understand you care enough to be there,and if sometimes you ain't there for them,its because you couldn't not because you don't want to..

2) Read,Read and Read:

You'll be surprised at the extend this will help in combating your problem,will advice you start with why you act the way you do and the spirit controlled temperament both by Tim Lahaye[/b]as it explains all you need to know about being a "melancholy".. how to stop worrying and start living may also interest you,can't remember the author though....the bottom line is read,just anything that catches your fancy,even here on NL we've got stories from great writers that will help you relax

[b]3) Keep a dairy:

Sounds boring but it helps...try writing down the way you feel,don't buckle it all up and on some days,just reading through it will make you laugh and be like *WTF was I thinking* and remind you of those things you practically lost sleep over only to realize in the end that it was nothing really

4) Let others worry about you:

You even get worried @ people worrying about you? For real You are not an island my dear,let others worry about you,lean on their shoulders too and don't shut them out with "I'm fine or I'll be fine"

5) Have fun,lots of it:

You only live once! Do the things that help you relax more often,could be movies,swimming,a night out with friends,what ever it is,do it more often,laugh and be happy!

6) Live one day @ a time:
Quit worrying about the future,i'm a strong believer of "give it your best shot" and let what will be,be...just do your best and let tomorrow worry about itself...hope for the best,its called optimism,faith and believe...

Finally,love your enemy/neighbors as yourself,not over and above yourself...you deserve to enjoy life,to be happy and worrying about everyone and everything ain't happiness,its the fastest route to you know where...and of what help will you be to the people you so much care about if you are 6 feet down??....you've got a large heart,don't let it work against you...just take a deep breathe and say "Al iz well"

my two cents

[color=#000099][/color][quote author=nabsprada]Knowing you don't want to continue like this is a step forward...I'm not a counselor neither am I a doctor but one or more of these should help

1) You CANNOT reach out to everybody:

you wish you could but the truth is you CAN'T...not even to all members of your family,just let them understand you care enough to be there,and if sometimes you ain't there for them,its because you couldn't not because you don't want to..

2) Read,Read and Read:

You'll be surprised at the extend this will help in combating your problem,will advice you start with why you act the way you do and the spirit controlled temperament both by Tim Lahaye[/b]as it explains all you need to know about being a "melancholy".. how to stop worrying and start living may also interest you,can't remember the author though....the bottom line is read,just anything that catches your fancy,even here on NL we've got stories from great writers that will help you relax

[b]3) Keep a dairy:

Sounds boring but it helps...try writing down the way you feel,don't buckle it all up and on some days,just reading through it will make you laugh and be like *WTF was I thinking* and remind you of those things you practically lost sleep over only to realize in the end that it was nothing really

4) Let others worry about you:

You even get worried @ people worrying about you? For real You are not an island my dear,let others worry about you,lean on their shoulders too and don't shut them out with "I'm fine or I'll be fine"

5) Have fun,lots of it:

You only live once! Do the things that help you relax more often,could be movies,swimming,a night out with friends,what ever it is,do it more often,laugh and be happy!

6) Live one day @ a time:
Quit worrying about the future,i'm a strong believer of "give it your best shot" and let what will be,be...just do your best and let tomorrow worry about itself...hope for the best,its called optimism,faith and believe...

Finally,love your enemy/neighbors as yourself,not over and above yourself...you deserve to enjoy life,to be happy and worrying about everyone and everything ain't happiness,its the fastest route to you know where...and of what help will you be to the people you so much care about if you are 6 feet down??....you've got a large heart,don't let it work against you...just take a deep breathe and say "Al iz well"

Thanks a lot.
Maybe I should go on a sabbatical leave.
It has been long I really really laugh.

A friend of my suggested that I may be suffering from mid life crisis. Abeg at my age is that a possibility ?

If I am successful in unchronicing my melancholy will it not affect my spirit of giving and helping ?

@op. you can actually work on that. worrying is not good for your health and it doesn't bring solution either. when you are faced with challenges or you need to help someone and can not meet up, don't worry, condition your heart to stay strong. then think or initiate an ideal to solve the problems.
Hope you know Thinking and Worrying are not the same thing?
Cheers

OBIORAA: But is it really possible to help someone without worrying about them in the first place ?

YES.

Aw Obiora, u must be a good person! Don't ever change.

Stop worrying mate, channel and focus your energy on something else.

Everything is going to be ok

OBIORAA: My Name is Obiora.
Though in a world where fame is the alter at which we worship, I do not know why you should care for who I am or that I even exist.
I am not a celebrity, I am not related to any celebrity, I have not been abused by, or donated my kidney for transplantation into any celebrity furthermore I have no desire to be a celebrity.
just as my name implies I am the heart of the people. I love people.. always willing to help in any way possible. my thoughts are always with the people.and the thoughts I have for my fellow man are Good thoughts. But The love I have for humanity is affecting my health....

I worry a lot. I worry about everyone and everything. I worry about myself, I worry about my family, relatives and friends . I even worry about strangers.... I worry about their problems and challenges as if it were my own. I even worry about them worrying about me. I try to help people as best as I can but if I Can't help them, I end up feeling bad and worrying abbout them. I have tried to stop this kind of attitude but can't. And this is affecting my health in more ways than one.
At times I feel like a 90 years old man. Though how I come to know how a 90 years old man feels I can't say.

Please nairaland doctors and counselors give me some advice before I die young.I love helping but I need to stop worrying about them a lot.

We are same... But I learnt to put a limit. You are not alone brother. It's the way we are wired but unfortunately, many people rarely appreciate our kind. I remember a room mate at school accusing me of always acting like "na me good pass". Fast forward to 2 years after that statement, he needed help and he ran to me.

I worry about a lot of people bro and sometimes forget my own problems. There was a case that cost me the chance of getting a job through someone who was on the process of helping. I stupidly asked if he could help another. That was the last I ever heard from he. But in retrospect, the same person wouldn't do same for me as subsequent events later revealed.

Just today on my way from where I went to price a TV... A little boy sat in same bus with me but on the opposite side where conductors sat. I told him to take a seat on the passengers side and I paid for him. I do this often.

I rarely care if I get paid but I have the believe that there is a spiritual reward attached to it.

The world don't appreciate it bro... trust me and that's why I am learning to put high limit on how I care about people's problem.

I know that feeling. You just want to help EVERYBODY, even if it means starving yourself. But sorry to say this, you will often be taken for granted, except for a very very few people.


What the world do not know is that these set of people are going or almost going into extinction and the only way to preserve their existence is by appreciating them.

I have a friend like that who is based in Canada, a rare gem, always wanting to help people. Sadly he will be leaving the world soon due to cancer. I feel bad because there could be someone who would need help and hardly would he get such in the face of adversity.

I don't joke with people like you, manweysabi (a rare being like us and a nairalander) and some whom I have come across. I cherish the very essence of our friendship, brother.


Please, just learn to control it. It's not too cool!

[color=#000099][/color]

2sExy1: We are same... But I learnt to put a limit. You are not alone brother. It's the way we are wired but unfortunately, many people rarely appreciate our kind. I remember a room mate at school accusing me of always acting like "na me good pass". Fast forward to 2 years after that statement, he needed help and he ran to me.

I worry about a lot of people bro and sometimes forget my own problems. There was a case that cost me the chance of getting a job through someone who was on the process of helping. I stupidly asked if he could help another. That was the last I ever heard from he. But in retrospect, the same person wouldn't do same for me as subsequent events later revealed.

Just today on my way from where I went to price a TV... A little boy sat in same bus with me but on the opposite side where conductors sat. I told him to take a seat on the passengers side and I paid for him. I do this often.

I rarely care if I get paid but I have the believe that there is a spiritual reward attached to it.

The world don't appreciate it bro... trust me and that's why I am learning to put high limit on how I care about people's problem.

I know that feeling. You just want to help EVERYBODY, even if it means starving yourself. But sorry to say this, you will often be taken for granted, except for a very very few people.


What the world do not know is that these set of people are going or almost going into extinction and the only way to preserve their existence is by appreciating them.

I have a friend like that who is based in Canada, a rare gem, always wanting to help people. Sadly he will be leaving the world soon due to cancer. I feel bad because there could be someone who would need help and hardly would he get such in the face of adversity.

I don't joke with people like you, manweysabi (a rare being like us and a nairalander) and some whom I have come across. I cherish the very essence of our friendship, brother.


Please, just learn to control it. It's not too cool!

Its good to know that I am not alone.
I can't Describe the joy and satisfaction I fell each time I help my fellow human.
90% of the people I help don't appreciate my good gesture but that will not stop me from doing what I am born to do.

To me the day I stop helping, wil be the day I lose my dignity. And of what value is a man without his dignity ?

@op why complaining again

Tell me this is a Joke.

[color=#000099][/color]

shelter4luving: @op why complaining again

Not complaining just. Making a statement.

OBIORAA: [color=#000099][/color]

Not complaining just. Making a statement.

Do some weep
There will be no need for any type of statement

[color=#000099][/color]

GoodFaith:
Do some weep
There will be no need for any type of statement

Ok sir.

My dear u can't change who u are,its nature.

I remember my big brother getting real mad with me that I have to reduce how I do thing for people/family members and even went as far as telling his friend to talk to me.another case was when my kid sis asked someone very close to me that she shld lie to me about something that I must bring out money cos I don't have heart.

I help a friend when she lust her job for 6month,I did everything incuding the pure water she drank and when she finally got a good job,she told me I shldnt expect every one to be like me.I pray for ever mad and poor people I see on the road.

I met goung girl of 15 who didn't know her mother cos her mother had her and left the dad,then the dad got married to another woman who didn't want her arnd and the sent her out to be doing nanny and she was not sent to school..I maade sure I always buy things and take to her every month and later took her with me even though I was not that strong to take care of her then.most of the people I have helped,no one remembers me but it still has not changed me cos its my nature.