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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Why Are Some Wives Been Denied Next Of Kin Status By Their Husbands? (22443 Views)
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Re: Why Are Some Wives Been Denied Next Of Kin Status By Their Husbands? by Blockus: 4:14pm On Aug 26, 2014 |
galantjoe: may be u are not married. it is when you marry that u will see the true nature of womanhood. Are you married sir?! If Yes, How long have you been married for? I say this because I have a mother who has been married for over 35 years to my father and though she is crazy atimes, she is by no means a bad woman. I have aunts and Nieces all married and happily so. I have a few who are widowed and others from broken marriages as well and I still dont have the mindset of MOST WOMEN ARE EVIL.. I have Sisters too who are all grown up and doing good and I have never seen them as BAD. SO I ask you where you got this notion from; Is it personal like your Wife, Mother, Sister, Sister-In-Law or hearsay like Nigerian Movies, Street Gossip, church, beer palour talk, or what?! 8 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Why Are Some Wives Been Denied Next Of Kin Status By Their Husbands? by Samsonklin(m): 4:18pm On Aug 26, 2014 |
Blockus:Ya.. Tnks bro... Same here. |
Re: Why Are Some Wives Been Denied Next Of Kin Status By Their Husbands? by onoja12: 5:15pm On Aug 26, 2014 |
i have my own question for you,why do women not make there husbands next of kin either as for me a man and a woman have the present and the future belongs to there kids,except you have evil at the back of your mind before you would be fighting with your own children to be next of kin |
Re: Why Are Some Wives Been Denied Next Of Kin Status By Their Husbands? by cyborg1(m): 5:21pm On Aug 26, 2014 |
All I learn from my parent is how husband and wife runs one single joint account together, talk more of ''next of kin!'' When my father died, my mother has no issue with the account till now, and join her son as well! It is only now that I know why most families doesn't tow that pat. When a so called wife will be so self centered to even will greater part of her husband's asset to her brother or boyfriend, if allowed. |
Re: Why Are Some Wives Been Denied Next Of Kin Status By Their Husbands? by deanozone: 5:37pm On Aug 26, 2014 |
Once saw a friend put his girlfriend's name as next of kin......i laughed uncontrollably when I saw it....things mumu men do for luv |
Re: Why Are Some Wives Been Denied Next Of Kin Status By Their Husbands? by Nobody: 5:56pm On Aug 26, 2014 |
soulglo: The problem with your analogy is that you automatically assume that all wives are Good wives.... In the course of a marriage, a man or woman might discover that their partners are not trustworthy, it's not like you get married with the mindset that your wife is not to be trusted... Many married people are only tolerating each other.. As Africans, we consider divorce a bad thing and scorn at divorcees... Forget the sentiments, not all wives will cater for your collective interests when you die.... you make the most trustworthy person in your life your next of kin, the most trustworthy person may be your wife but does not have to be your wife.... Not all Men trust their Wives and it's not the Man's fault, it's because, not all wives are GOOD/ TRUSTWORTHY wives... Not all wives Trust their Husband and it is not the Wives fault, it's simply because not all Husbands are GOOD/TRUSTWORTHY.... In an ideal world, all husbands should trust their wives as much as they trust themselves and vice versa, Unfortunately, dear, it is not an IDEAL world... The point the dude was making is, a Man should make the most Trusted person His next of kin... be it wife, a brother, a friend, a pastor... etc... BOTTOMLINE: The most trustworthy person is not neccesarily the Wife... why am I repeating mysef? |
Re: Why Are Some Wives Been Denied Next Of Kin Status By Their Husbands? by Godmystrength: 6:31pm On Aug 26, 2014 |
galantjoe: may be u are not married. it is when you marry that u will see the true nature of womanhood.If you choose to think alone this lane, please note that it is not only the true nature of womanhood that marriage will/can expose. It will/can also expose the true nature of manhood. Abi you think manhood does not have true nature too? Well i guess the same way some men have this thoughts, if you dig further, their spouses also have similar thoughts towards them. So i ask myself why stay married if you have to constantly live in fear of what the true nature of man/womanhood has to expose.............. If we want to keep giving bad examples, i tell you we have enough of them to go round both genders 2 Likes |
Re: Why Are Some Wives Been Denied Next Of Kin Status By Their Husbands? by Nobody: 7:17pm On Aug 26, 2014 |
Blockus: Lol. I already get one "blokus" for house. |
Re: Why Are Some Wives Been Denied Next Of Kin Status By Their Husbands? by Nobody: 7:20pm On Aug 26, 2014 |
Pls tell me,what does it mean?btw,those that are in the reality are giving examples,you have to judge by majority of examples sometimes,are you married?,all those things you just ignored makes up marriages,each duties to both,its just a natural thing to trust your kids over your spouse.Next of Kin is not denying of Inheritance,wife before the death of the man and younger brother and children after the death of the man. bukatyne: |
Re: Why Are Some Wives Been Denied Next Of Kin Status By Their Husbands? by itstpia1: 7:22pm On Aug 26, 2014 |
It shouldn't be a big deal unless significant amounts are involved, in which case some kind of trust account would be needed as it could be dangerous for whoever is is named beneficiary or next of kin. |
Re: Why Are Some Wives Been Denied Next Of Kin Status By Their Husbands? by freshbear(m): 7:45pm On Aug 26, 2014 |
simplyOJ: There are also numerous cases of men using their Fathers and brothers. There was a similar case of such that happened at my wife's place of work last year 2013. After the man passed, making his father the first option and brother the 2nd, the wife and kids where practically left in the cold. The office had to own their own frantically enter into some form of agreement between the father and brother for his wife and kids to be able to collect some stipend..dis is pathetic. Even after having kids with his wife 1 Like |
Re: Why Are Some Wives Been Denied Next Of Kin Status By Their Husbands? by soulglo: 7:57pm On Aug 26, 2014 |
njokusboy: I am not sure why you're repeating yourself either. Of course every single woman that ever lived is not an angel and families are all set up differently. The point is you cannot have this grand plan of having a partner stand by you through life only to find out when you die that she was cut off financially. If that is your plan or at any point you feel like it's what you are going to do then let her know. No one ever said you should not leave something in Trust for your children. We just do not agree and will never agree that ideally the wife and mother of the kids should be primary beneficiary 3 Likes |
Re: Why Are Some Wives Been Denied Next Of Kin Status By Their Husbands? by cococandy(f): 8:45pm On Aug 26, 2014 |
Nne nobody is talking about depending on a man here. The topic revolves around what should happen to the underage kids a man leaves behind if his will puts someone else in charge of his estate who may not have the best interest of the kids at heart. I wonder why many of you are going off tangent sexybash: If you know you want to focus on a man 1 Like |
Re: Why Are Some Wives Been Denied Next Of Kin Status By Their Husbands? by cococandy(f): 8:52pm On Aug 26, 2014 |
donpeey22: You know the truth but just don't want accept. 99% of women in their selfishness, seek wealthy men for marriage. Even women who are relatively doing well Financially still will not marry a man who isn't atleast as wealthy. It's been known that most married people lose trust way into marriage, don't be Carried away by d lovey dovey thing you are still enjoying as a newly married lady, you may understand better later in your marriage, though i pray yours wont be too bad.what truth? That women don't get rich in the course of their marriages even if the man was wealtheir than her when they got married? Is all this your sermon based on the idea that man are always richer? If it was the other way round,would you be so comfortable saying women should will their wealth to their siblings because their husbands may not be the most trusted person in their lives? I don't pretend that there aren't bad wives and husbands out there. For my husband not to trust me to take care of his/our kids if he dies before me or for me not trust him to take care of my/our kids if I die before him,there's something HUGELY wrong with the union. It's not something writing a skewed will fix. Maybe they better be divorced before the man dies or the woman dies. I'd rather not have someone I don't trust in the lives of my young kids who I'm leaving behind. Anyway I think I've made my point 3 Likes |
Re: Why Are Some Wives Been Denied Next Of Kin Status By Their Husbands? by F117A: 9:15pm On Aug 26, 2014 |
Making your wife the next of kin in this 21st century? Absolute madness. Only inexperienced or kitten-wiped 'men' will make such a mistake. |
Re: Why Are Some Wives Been Denied Next Of Kin Status By Their Husbands? by Nobody: 9:38pm On Aug 26, 2014 |
cococandy: what truth? That women don't get rich in the course of their marriages even if the man was wealtheir than her when they got married?lorrie, if we have 100 married couples, 90 would have the man richer than the woman. Among the 10 cases where the woman is richer, atleast 5 men will not give a damn about what the woman has, so in the cases where the men cared, the madam may choose to entrust her wealth to him in the event that she died b4 him if and only if she finds him TRUSTWORTHY. If not, any other person she finds trustworthy can be entrusted with her wealth be it her sibling, friend or any other relative for that matter. Being a spouse should never automatically qualify a man/woman to be a trustee to his/her wifes/husbands wealth, unless he/she is found TRUSTWORTHY. *Btw, lorrie, from my aproko when i don do for ya dp, u fine well well no be small, infact if i marry your type na you go geh everything*8-)8-) |
Re: Why Are Some Wives Been Denied Next Of Kin Status By Their Husbands? by cococandy(f): 9:46pm On Aug 26, 2014 |
donpeey22: *Btw, lorrie, from my aproko when i don do for ya dp, u fine well well no be small, infact if i marry your type na you go geh everything*8-)8-)Thank you 1 Like |
Re: Why Are Some Wives Been Denied Next Of Kin Status By Their Husbands? by Nobody: 12:53am On Aug 27, 2014 |
soulglo: What do you mean by "stand by you".. The problem with you people is that you are too romantic/sentimental... In many marriages, the partners only tolerate each other for the sake of the children.. They don't wanna separate because they have grown up children and are worried about the effect on them so there is no "standing by you" in the first place... Besides the children are for both of you, it shouldn't hurt her that you are keeping your stuff for your children.. In most of this marriages, the women know that the husbands does not trust them with life... Trust my dear, is not automatic, that I marry a woman does not automatically make her the most trust worthy person... Trust is earned and we give it to the most deserving person not automatically "the wife"...This marriage of a thing is even overrated... Nd why should you let her know? I Thank God you said ideally, it is not an ideal world, less than 20% of marriages and less than 10% of everything on Earth is ideal... You guys just have a "romantic novel idea" of what a marriage ought to be like |
Re: Why Are Some Wives Been Denied Next Of Kin Status By Their Husbands? by soulglo: 1:00am On Aug 27, 2014 |
njokusboy: Nothing romantic about it. I am surrounded by people with marriages were partnership is everything. Not sure why you're seeing romance. I am sure you're the type who buys pots and pans for his wife on valentines day. Since you consider what I am saying as romantic. Bye Mr. Romantic 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Why Are Some Wives Been Denied Next Of Kin Status By Their Husbands? by ladygogo: 2:09am On Aug 27, 2014 |
The mind boggles. . There are very few marriages in naija. Most couples are just living like flat mates. 5 Likes |
Re: Why Are Some Wives Been Denied Next Of Kin Status By Their Husbands? by wordsplay(m): 3:12am On Aug 27, 2014 |
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Re: Why Are Some Wives Been Denied Next Of Kin Status By Their Husbands? by Nobody: 6:48am On Aug 27, 2014 |
soulglo: You are surrounded by people with marriages where partnership is everything Do some research, you'd might be surprised... It don't matter what you buy or not buy on valentine's day, real marriages are not measured by what you buy on valentine's day, in a real marriage, everyday is valentine.. valentine is just one day.... Goodbye Mrs IDEALIST.. |
Re: Why Are Some Wives Been Denied Next Of Kin Status By Their Husbands? by spex: 7:36am On Aug 27, 2014 |
Since the marriage equation tells me we are one (and the same). Then she wouldn't be NEXT, would she?......just playing around the equation though. She is my next of Kin.... I love her. I trust her. I married. Although , when it comes to some emergency issues, I might not want her to be the first point of contact.... And that might be the reason why some men do use their wives as next of kins....in case of the unexpected |
Re: Why Are Some Wives Been Denied Next Of Kin Status By Their Husbands? by 44chux(m): 12:59pm On Aug 27, 2014 |
dabriggs: Long grammar...its simple..You're on point. Addition: "Hell hath no furry like a woman scorned" A man enraged with jealousy will first consider the effects of any action he takes, first on his name, on his children's welfare, on his fortune etc. A woman enraged with jealousy will only consider the rival woman. A woman can destroy her man just to get at her rival if she thinks she can survive alone. Summary: Never let ur wife know if she's ur beneficiary |
Re: Why Are Some Wives Been Denied Next Of Kin Status By Their Husbands? by Nobody: 1:20pm On Aug 27, 2014 |
What an interesting debate. Bottom line is that if you have been a great husband to your wife; you will have little to worry about. But if you beat your wife, cheat on her, treat her like a dog, then you will be worried she wants to kill you and take your property. Someone said earlier that most people are not really married and I quite agree with that. They just live together and make babies. Unfortunately, a forum like Nairaland with a majority of young people just shows that the next generation have a disjointed understanding of marriage. They go into marriage full on suspicion, lack of trust, and in some cases even hate. How can these people have good marriages? How can you marry someone you do not trust? Don't you think she will know that you don't trust her? How do you think she will react? By loving you more? Gush!! Damn!! How can you get married and then feel your wife is going to kill you? Why marry a potential killer? Why would she want to kill you when you have done nothing wrong? Some of you guys are better off single for life. Seriously, some men DO NOT deserve a wife. Unfortunately some silly women will still marry you guys and entertain us in the family section. But honestly, some of the posts on this thread have been very disappointing to read. 2 Likes |
Re: Why Are Some Wives Been Denied Next Of Kin Status By Their Husbands? by bukatyne(f): 2:49pm On Aug 27, 2014 |
Nashville: What an interesting debate. Very very true The types I call 'Nigerian' husbands like the 'Nigerian' god 5 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Why Are Some Wives Been Denied Next Of Kin Status By Their Husbands? by bukatyne(f): 2:51pm On Aug 27, 2014 |
ladygogo: The mind boggles. . There are very few marriages in naija. Most couples are just living like flat And you will see them championing marriage cause like no tomorrow or mocking single ladies/guys 3 Likes |
Re: Why Are Some Wives Been Denied Next Of Kin Status By Their Husbands? by Blockus: 2:54pm On Aug 27, 2014 |
bukatyne: Na them dey use their suffer head situation as yardstick for how marriage should be.. Most of the Guys commenting on this thread are the type that would make their wives quit their job the day she starts making more money than them. 3 Likes |
Re: Why Are Some Wives Been Denied Next Of Kin Status By Their Husbands? by bukatyne(f): 2:59pm On Aug 27, 2014 |
uplawal: Pls tell me,what does it mean?btw,those that are in the reality are giving examples,you have to judge by majority of examples sometimes,are you married?,all those things you just ignored makes up marriages,each duties to both,its just a natural thing to trust your kids over your spouse.Next of Kin is not denying of Inheritance,wife before the death of the man and younger brother and children after the death of the man. It doesnot matter if I am married or not, does it? My point is that it is wrong to trust anybody more than your spouse and I have not said those things do not matter in marriage but they are not the essentials. My problem with Nollywood is that they act the 'reality' instead of the ideal thing so at the end there is nothing to learn from it. I am sure that some people would have read blokus' posts and determined to be the type of spouses that are trust worthy. This is a hypothetical situation so there is no 'reality'; let us promote the ideal thing. Thanks 1 Like |
Re: Why Are Some Wives Been Denied Next Of Kin Status By Their Husbands? by bukatyne(f): 3:01pm On Aug 27, 2014 |
Blockus: LOL! And tell them it is best for the family thereby breeding frustrated wives who become frustrated teachers(I do not know why teaching is seen as the go to job) who in turn breed frustrated children 2 Likes |
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