Alonu:


N.B AM NOW A GOOD BOY OH AT LEAST BEING A BODYGUARD TO PASTOR ADEBOYE NO BE BEANS

God no fit protect am?

Ahhhh. Memories!

One i still remember was this young teacher we had who taught physics. So one day at the physics lab during lectures, I wrote on the table "Mr. , is a seducer. Gosh, I did it without meaning to but you should have seen the furore it generated throughout the school. The poor guy finally left or maybe he was sacked. I hope he's on Nairaland and I ask forgiveness.

Then we had another physics teacher, this time a woman whom we disliked a lot, plus she had the principal's ear. One day i think we upset her by saying an unkind word about her frame (she wasn't tall). We cut grass tire inside hot sun.

I've never did one

Do i realyhave frends here in PSSC, calabar
we did so many ruff tins,
u can imagine RUGG skool, created in a school([b]^{RUGG as in rugged guyz in sch)[/}b]
calabarians, Police secondary school, una dey there,

remember mr Mbang Enang, the parade commander, then

very funny though

Funny thing- I never had sex throughout my high school. . . babes were allover and I didn't know what to do with em. . . ahh. . . when boiz were still innocent. . .

My was funny.

In primary one I got involved in nasty things with a girl am sharing my desk with.
We do play with each other's thing during teaching. One day after break time, we did it and guess what happen. She was feeling the pepper side her and started crying. Because she was the initiator of the act then she could report the case to the teacher. The girl also used to eat clay meant for our handwork then. I guess is Emere girl. She died while we are in primary 5. May her soul rest in peace

lol
i spent all my highschool yrs in nigeria n i had the most horrific n hilarious periods of my life
did the whole contribution of saliva for seniors i met her after school gosh if only i was white i coulda blushed maroon
"scaled" the fence lotsa times
err lemme go cordinate my thots joh

The_G:

My was funny.

In primary one I got involved in nasty things with a girl am sharing my desk with.
We do play with each other's thing during teaching. One day after break time, we did it and guess what happen. She was feeling the pepper side her and started crying. Because she was the initiator of the act then she could report the case to the teacher. The girl also used to eat clay meant for our handwork then. I guess is Emere girl. She died while we are in primary 5. May her soul rest in peace

This might have been the creepiest if not the nastiest thing I've read.

So many that I hardly could remember.

1) Steal my principles Potatoes. She planted them at the back of the school and I stole all of it.

2) During April Fool, I catch toads and put them in all my teachers drawer in their office very early in the morning before class starts (I do this in Primary school, secondary school and even in College and when I'm not busy, I would sometimes do it at work) 

3) During PE class, I would hide under the tables and when all my classmates are gone, I would open all their bags and switch all of their things among one another (I do this in Primary school, secondary school and even in College and when I'm not busy, I would sometimes do it at work but of course in College and Work im referring to break time naa) 


don't blame me Oo. . . I cannot help it 

Hmmm. . . . So many oooo. . . .  Now I go work first. later if I'm free, Ill come back hia. Heheh!

In high school, FGC odogbolu, I poured a plate of stew on the natest guy in all the school- THE DEPUTY HEAD BOY> that was year 2000 in my JS 1. Can you beat that?

Oluwaphemi:

Can you beat that?

Yes!

@all lmao

Well back in secondary skul am known as the green snake or evil genius. Don’t knoe why my friends call me that. Always the architect of trouble, but wen it erupts, I fade into the background. Got an innocent face that the male teachers loved and the female ones hated with passion.
Remember an incident that happened, on a Saturday, after the usual clean up, myself and rita, uche, Monique and some other dare devils, went into the staff quarters and raided their maize farms, plucked fruits and added one silly chicken that we have been eyeing for months. We went to the back of the hostel and had a befitting meal.
We were at the dining hall having lunch one fateful day, and the dining hall prefect came to make announcement, I hated the girl and she has been dying to be my skul mother so that she can have access to my pocket money and provisions I refused, since then the idiot hated me with passion and always reduce my food ration. So after the announcement I hissed, the hall was silent, and the oloriburuku asked who hissed?? No one answered all for one jss1 student to point at me. The idiot told me to stand on the dining table, put my food on my head and eat it from there. I gladly climbed the table and ate my food as all eyes were on me, and everyone was giggling.

I also remember this Math teacher Mr Cletus. This man I can’t explain his problem but he is always fond of picking on me in the class. So one morning I left the hostel early and went into the class and wrote f****ck you sir* on the board before going for brkfast as he happens to be the first period for the day. Any one who sees it, will laff but nobody cleaned it off, since no one knew who did it. The yeye man came into class, as he was about writing the date and topic on the board, the words stared at him. We were all asked to go and lie down on the assembly ground under hot scorching sun omo see the way my classmates where swearing for my family and ancestors and off course I was swearing with them too****
The toilet in our dormitory had problem, so we go out early to do shot put in black leather and after that we tie the shit and reserve it for the nite. After prep class we stone our senior’s wid it and dodge into the crowd that was my favorite hobby then. When a senior punishe’s me, I just target the senior after prep class, single her out from her friends and send my shit rocket. You will hear yeeei! Accompanied by different types of curses, I no send o, I will just disappear, climb my bunk, laff and sleep off and gist about it the next day wid my peeps. During my ss3 after prep class, I was on my way to the hostel, and lo and behold I heard paaat! at the back of my head. Guess what? It was a shot put, I was enraged as I dint see who did that to me, and I remembered what I did in my jnr class. And I couldn’t blame anyone. Just went to the bathroom and washed off the damn shit, even the next morning there were still some tiny shit particles in my hair.

I was very fond of stealing biros and calculators. When u visit my locker u will see assorted types of calculators and biros, and when am broke I sell them off for 3, 10naira.
Made gud money those daiz.

I loved climbing fence to attend parties, my clique knew me then to be very gud wid da bottle. But if u don’t knoe me, u can never believe am not as innocent as I looked then.
Kept a harem of boiz too.

Wow I have a lot to share brb.

the craziest thing i did was chasing a girl down the school block screaming, "Amaka, I love you&want to marry you", The guys were having a good laugh, I was caught though, n in the assembly, as we call it, i was asked to explain the meaning of "boyfriend n girlfriend",

the second was, should i say dirty, we took turns lookin at eachothers peepee, measured the length, only for some girls to walk-in on us, after much much sha, we decided that for seeing ours, we must see theirs, the hole!, they co-oped! and the rest ya know is pretty much history,

As for the teachers, cuz i was skinny back in those days, they'd wonder where the flog me, they'd strip n just stare, God i was sooooooooooo ashamed, so i decided to seek revenge, since i was in a boy cult, we did something Government College Eric Moore would never forget,

At an inaugural party, we got some strippers in, had the teachers feelin good,then slipped some ecstacy pill into their drinks, shiiiiiiiiiiiiit, oh boy come see idiocity of d highest order, wish i could post some pix though,

In SSS3, I had an altercation with an older classmate of mine(now late). The next day, I came to school with elubo(yam flour), wrapped in paper and some other things. I blew it into his eyes, pretending it was charm. The whole class was afraid of me and begging  and I was doing shakara. They didnt know it was just harmless,ordinary elubo i wrapped in paper and not juju.

I find pleasure in leaving school before the stipulated time

I attended Eghosa Grammar School, Benin

We used to run home from school throwing/kicking stuffs like licked oranges at each other, whoever gets hit last and can't get to hit another person is a weakling.  With this method, we used to get home very fast.  At times, we would say is only by kicking, so when we get hit, the others will run, it will get to a stage, you will just av to pick up the orange with your hand and run after whoever.

We used to cover a lot of ground on time with this running thing, for those who know Benin, we will run from New Benin to Uselu, through Ukhoro and Medical Road, is quite far!!!!

We used to visit a fruit tree on our way from school, even when we know there were big dogs in the compound.  Whenever the dogs are released, we will run like mad for dear life.  One day, a friend climed and the dog was released while he was up, he later fell and broke his hand.

When in JSS 3 (Evening), we would play football after closing by 5pm till almost 7pm and without telling others, the owner of the ball will suddenly pick up the ball and starts running, others will follow suit without waiting, because by then it will be already dark, if you are left behind, sorry for you, because we believe there were witches in the school then.

so many more i can even put here



There was a time

flogged junior students,hid the school bell n we woke up about 7.30am.

while i was in SS1, one senior dey always want everybody to call him senior John, But he i never obeyed him, Until the day i catch am for farm where we were working, I Beat up the guy and made him call me SENIOR,

The following day, i was suspended and at school after 24 lashes, when i got home, i was welcomed also with KOBOKO,

i was also found of shooting my teachers with Rubber Band, One day, my teacher was praying, she taught it was a spiritual attack,

anyway, i later confessed to her on my finial day at school, during our confession time,

in JSS, some girls who had toilet duty were screaming and stuff (mine was the laundry - pure bliss!) so i went in. it turned out there was a rat in the toilet and we had inspection in about an hr (and my dorm always took 2nd position from the back). i got a stick, pummelled the rat to death, then used the stick to drag its corpse out. would you believe the ingrates started rumors about me that i used my bare hands to take the rat out of the toilet!!

a senior gave me her plate one day to wash, but i didn't know her room. so i kept the plate with me. the day she caught me using her plate to eat ehn! she took me to her room, said she didn't have time for me, and told me to lie face down on the floor. i had one of the best snoozes of the term cos the weather was hot and the floor was cool. plus i escaped prep of course she woke me with a resounding slap!

i was generally a good girl. na for university i come display all my secondary school mischief

i stayed out late with friends gisting and had to jump the fence to get back to my hostel. the gateman caught me. i begged and begged but he refused and seized my ID card. i begged for a whole week. i had a scholarship test to write the following saturday, and when he still wouldn't give it back to me i went to the hall mistress and reported the incident my darn self! he looked very guilty for concealing the crime and i got away with it cos i 'fessed up!

i used to play around with dusters a whole lot. we rubbed on door ways to get our victims ass to look white.its was all so exciting till we got it on our vice principal.we had to absond for two weeks. All hail Falomo High school.

All the fun used to happen in boarding house,

Back then, we used to shit in nylons and throw them up the roofs and when the rains fall, it will all come swooshing down.

Soaking indomie in cold water for hours and eating it with the maggi water as well.

Dancing around the class when one lunatic teacher was in the mood to flog all the students for a stupid excuse like not answering a question correctly.

Spitting in my senior's food when they were not there,

Washed a senior's clothes and plates with dirty water and did not rinse them.

And once (i was very dirty in Jss1), i soaked my undies in a bowl and forgot for three weeks and looked under the bed to see creepy crawly maggots.

Those were good old days.

Then i used to run away from saturday labour day of cutting grass so i and another girl were given toilet as duty to clean.

One day, it was blocked with too much shit and we had to pound it with a stick to make it go down.

When we flushed, it rose up.

(Gosh, i wonder how i never fainted)

on the day of writing our final paper, after school hrs. i and sme guys went to our commandants office and wrote our nick names on his wall. when he got back the following mrnin he got furious and. ordered all ss3 students to contribute 1k each for paints, b4 we could get our statement of result. C D S S

I can't remember doing any crazy thing but it was done to me,

My English teacher called me a "wizard" one day in front of the class just for playing in the class while the lesson was going on but always being the first to answer a difficult question posed at us correctly when caught.

The whole class went up in laughter at the teacher for making a mistake by calling a girl 'a wizard' but I think I preferred it to being called a "witch"

It would have been worse, a stigma

I couldnt do anything in the office today cos of this post, just couldnt take my eyes off,
i started reading this post around 3pm, and now its around 5pm, i have never read anything so interesting, please, lets make a best seller out of this, lets make a book, Seun, its an idea, it could be titled, Crazy things we did in High school, it would be a hit, then with more contributors, i've had a good laugh,

My contribution-I had a very very interesting High school days,
I attended All the Schools in Maryland,(ikeja)

In primary school, i invented the draught (draft)in my class, it became the in-thing in the whole school, so when the teacher was taking us maths, we would hide and be playing it, one day, a particular teacher noticed our inattention, she caught us unawares and told us to report ourselves to the headmaster, Fortunately, the headmasters secretary son was among so the secretary begged the teacher for us, we escaped suspension,

The class was asked to bring flowers, we all forgot and the teacher was the mean type! so next morning we jumped into the garden of the convent near us and recked the whole treasured garden of the Nuns in the convent, they actually came out and cursed us, Men they treasure the garden like thier children(may God forgive us)

In Jss 1, we invented dry garri mixed with sugar, you would then use the empty biro case to "smoke" the garri out of paper just like cocaine, but my class captain was caught during a lesson smoking garri, He was embarrassed,

I used to buy roast and fried fish over the fence, this was like smuggling cocaine back in those days and if you get caught, you go on suspension or even expelled from the boarding house, but some of us survived.

One afternoon, myself with 2 of my friends "escaped" from the hostel (the ultimate hostel crime)to go to a buka (called white house) to eat fufu and meatless efo-egusi (vegetable) and as we balanced for the meal, our hostel master pulled in, parked his volkswagon beetle and came in to order his own fufu and just came to sit on our table, I remember the bolus of fufu was repeatedly falling of our hands in fear, see shaking. The man finished his food and went to his car as if nothing happened (Mr Odusina - now Rev Cannon-) was the smartest teacher in the world. We were thinking no yawa until the man walked back in to call us to come and help him push his car to jumpstart as the car wouldnt start, as we pushed the car round the bend away from the view of the mama white house (buka owner), Mr Odusina signalled to us that we should stop pushing and he simply started the iginition to get the car running, i.e the push was a ploy to get us into his car and drive us to the hostel for the biggest punishment of all time. But trust yours truly, we also told him that our books were in the buka that he should please allow us to go and get it, We came back to the car with Mama White House, all her staff, all the customers eating in the buka, all the mechanics next shop and even some passers-bye sympathisers. Mr Odusina accept the begging but told us that he must not get to the hostel before us, we quickly made our unfinished fufu and vegetable a takeaway in nylon carrier  bags and the fact that we had those food in the hostel made us some kind of stars back then. My Odusina genuinely earned my respect from that day as a true father.

On another occassion, in the hostel "lights out" time means everyone must be on their beds to sleep and no one must utter a word.But on this fateful night me and some other peeps in my dorm kept chatting after lights out and we didnt realise that Mr Odusina had krept in to lie on an empty bed (the man should have been in FBI) to listen to our gists, and guess what we were talking about, girls girls girls girls. We went on talking about our escapades with girls from AGGS Ijebu ode when they come for Sunday Service in our school as our school housed the cathedral, we must have been  talking for about three hours into the night before Mr Odusina "intervened" and told us to report at the Principal's office the next morning. Of course we showed up at the Principal's office and we admitted that we were talking after "lights out" which was not a big offence but we denied talking about girls and we were left off the hookThe funny bit is that a couple of days later Mr Odusina krept in again but we knew when he was coming in as we had been more vigilant from the previous incident and we quickly changed subject from girls to quoting bible verses, praise-worship songs and how much we loved our school  . Of course Mr Odusina was pissed as he had come this time with a tape recorder

UP JOGS!!!

ha! am I sure my mum is not going to hear this? because during my high school, i'm nothing but a professional thief, i and my remaining four guys. we were doing it to know who is the most smartest guy among us. we steal anything in sight plus teachers' pen, textbooks from liabrary, and so on. please don't let my mum see this.

Haha, me I was a goody goody in high school oo, no pranks at all, ~scouts honor~, yeah right,

I was real baddddddddddddddddddddddd!