Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / NewStats: 3,195,034 members, 7,956,835 topics. Date: Monday, 23 September 2024 at 08:17 PM |
Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / A Thread For "Everything Polygamy"! (40998 Views)
A Thread For 2016 Brides and Grooms To Be / Polygamy: Why Men Marry More Wives. / A Thread For Ladies Who Want To Get Married (2) (3) (4)
(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) ... (26) (Reply) (Go Down)
Re: A Thread For "Everything Polygamy"! by kandiikane(m): 4:48pm On Sep 22, 2014 |
Hm |
Re: A Thread For "Everything Polygamy"! by TV01(m): 5:03pm On Sep 22, 2014 |
sandijey: She said after all, what's d difference between a cheating husband and a polygamyst. . The expectation with monogamy is fidelity, with polygamy it's infidelity. In the former you don't expect it, with the latter you embrace it. Is it me, or does a cheating husband actually sound like a better deal? bellong: I do not have a single good story to share about polygamous home. Not one? TV 1 Like |
Re: A Thread For "Everything Polygamy"! by tbaba1234: 5:06pm On Sep 22, 2014 |
My grandfather married 3 wives and it was a happy home generally. All the children get along very well till today. In some cases, you can not tell that they are not from the same mother. My grandma breastfed one of the son of her cowife, that was the kind of environment that they grew up in. Polygamy is not easy but it can be as happy and successful as monogamy depending on the individuals. 17 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: A Thread For "Everything Polygamy"! by tbaba1234: 5:09pm On Sep 22, 2014 |
tbaba12345: Studying for a PhD in engineering at Cambridge, she might not seem like a prime candidate to enter into a polygamous marriage. 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: A Thread For "Everything Polygamy"! by GodsDivinefavor(f): 5:18pm On Sep 22, 2014 |
My father did everything to keep the family as one, but it was obvious the peaceful co existence was fake. In his absence, everybody carry his/her cross, fighting and gossiping is the order of the day. 12 Likes 1 Share |
Re: A Thread For "Everything Polygamy"! by Nobody: 5:20pm On Sep 22, 2014 |
TV01: None is a better deal. Although As u rightly put it, One is expect fidelity and the other is expected infidelity. At the end of the day, they both have d same result especially to the receiving end. Its d same feeling of betrayal. I don't know of any human being who can stand seeing someone they love wiv another person. Its just difficult and hard to swallow. If we are to be factual expected infidelity seems less problematic for women. I don't wish it for my enemy though. Polygamous home is not it. My only problem is we shouldn't be quick to judge women who are married to polygamyst. if we have husband's who cheat on their wives. The girlfriend outside can one day be a second wife. In fact sef a polygamous man and a cheating husband go hand in hand. A lot of men who ended up marrying second wives did not plan it. Men fail to realise that what u have in mind for the girl friend outside might not be what she has in mind for u especially if she is old. If she keeps aborting for u, one day she will keep it and and VOILA............ The rest is history. 5 Likes |
Re: A Thread For "Everything Polygamy"! by maclatunji: 5:20pm On Sep 22, 2014 |
tbaba1234: I'll say... 1 Like |
Re: A Thread For "Everything Polygamy"! by Nobody: 5:22pm On Sep 22, 2014 |
Each wife lives in a separate house in London and Mr Phillips spends three nights in each home before moving on to the next. 5 Likes |
Re: A Thread For "Everything Polygamy"! by GodsDivinefavor(f): 5:28pm On Sep 22, 2014 |
To the wives, am a woman and I know tolerating eachother is not easy most especially when it comes to sharing a man. So, if say the wives are never allowed peace to reign or should I say each protect her wards to the latter even when the child is wrong. I can say these because am matured, but we the children usually fight eachother like enemies, jealousy and hatred filled the air. No one saw anything good in eachother no matter what he/she achieved. The mothers too flaunts their wards success to the face of other just to spite them. NB: I guess am saying these cos I want to be able to do better in my own case, I pray I will cos its a natural thing for us women to be "funny". 4 Likes |
Re: A Thread For "Everything Polygamy"! by Seun(m): 5:32pm On Sep 22, 2014 |
tbaba1234:Didn't you report the insultive statements to mods? Didn't they act on your reports? |
Re: A Thread For "Everything Polygamy"! by GodsDivinefavor(f): 5:33pm On Sep 22, 2014 |
Let me chip in these, I remember their was a time father was discussing with some of the kids and one of us asked him why he had 3 wives and many kids, did actually planned it or it was a mistake? His responce, if I had marry just one woman will of you have the oppurtunity to grace these earth. Will just one woman be able to give me 13 children? 3 Likes |
Re: A Thread For "Everything Polygamy"! by GodsDivinefavor(f): 5:38pm On Sep 22, 2014 |
Funny enough, I asked my mother similar question on why she choose to marry a man who already had two wives even if she lost her first husband and needed to remarry. She said another man's sperm would have brought someone else to these world and not us, that marrying my father gave her the oppurtunity to have females after males. You would say archaic reasoning, but I took it in good fate. 6 Likes |
Re: A Thread For "Everything Polygamy"! by GodsDivinefavor(f): 5:43pm On Sep 22, 2014 |
When my hubby took a second wife, it was like heaven should fall on my head or the ground should just open up and swallow me. I knew everybody who intervened was saying "everything I can't remember" just for me to accept fate. Only what mum said sooth me a little. She said if your father did not accept and marry me with my two sons, you won't be here today. Its your turn to give another woman oppurtunity to a life. Even when I keep saying why should it be my own husband, I keep remembering what mum said of everything people said. 6 Likes |
Re: A Thread For "Everything Polygamy"! by thebossman(m): 5:45pm On Sep 22, 2014 |
Polygamy, I support When done accordingly, it is a good marital option I just don't have the patience to keep two women under the same roof. For those that can, why the hell not? The one I have travels enough to not get too much on my nerves with her OCDs. 3 Likes |
Re: A Thread For "Everything Polygamy"! by tbaba1234: 5:53pm On Sep 22, 2014 |
Seun: Didn't you report the insultive statements to mods? Didn't they act on your reports? They acted but by then, the damage was done.. |
Re: A Thread For "Everything Polygamy"! by Nobody: 5:59pm On Sep 22, 2014 |
My father got married to a lady that is just 4 years older than me, she used to be my sister's classmate in the university even. We made fun of me a lot when it started. and mum did sakara but we got her to calm down. The only thing is, right from when we were kids, he would tell my mum and us that he will marry a second wife. It wasn't religious per se, it was more of convenience. I have a 6 years old step-brother who looks so much like me that I call him my son. And 'iyawo wa' remains my sister's friend. And grandma (my mum) remains grandma, even to her. They don't live together though as my mum lives more in my sister's house than his. So everyone is happy. I get clothes for everyone, the three of them I mean. Grudges are taken to dad by both parties. He waited till we were all out of school and employed, self sufficient at most. So far, so good. But me? I am very jealous and it will be tough but it is a life that can be lived when done right. Every man is a cheater after all. YYN 14 Likes |
Re: A Thread For "Everything Polygamy"! by GodsDivinefavor(f): 5:59pm On Sep 22, 2014 |
Let me say my aim for opening these is majorly to help myself in facing the challenge of my new developing home. Raised from a polygamous hoem, I never taught I will find myself here cos I saw it live and know the details. I want to see if I can remember somethings that actuall happened wayback, how it started, which role each person played including myself. How best to handle situations and most importantly help me become a better person. I will be re-reading these over and over and may probably be adding along the line. If I must confess...it is not easy. 6 Likes |
Re: A Thread For "Everything Polygamy"! by bellong: 6:05pm On Sep 22, 2014 |
I hope this will not be turned to a religious thread. There shouldn't be any religious reference to whether it is good or bad. Only for people to state their experiences. @TV01 Not one. I was told the home was "fragily" peaceful until the sixth wife came in. That was before I came to the world... I didn't grow up to enjoy anything good about polygamy. 5 Likes |
Re: A Thread For "Everything Polygamy"! by Nobody: 6:13pm On Sep 22, 2014 |
GodsDivinefavor. God is your strength. Its a very difficult situation. The advise your mum gave u is based on her being a third wife. If you were close to your step mum, I mean your dad's first wife. My dear, she is in the best position to advise you. Can't imagine how you're feeling. Don't listen to any insult anybody might give. As I earlier stated. A cheating husband is no different from a polygamyst. We all just try to give bad things sweet names. It is well. 5 Likes 1 Share |
Re: A Thread For "Everything Polygamy"! by ayinba1(f): 6:15pm On Sep 22, 2014 |
freecocoa: *spreads camp bed* But you came out of polygamy!!! 8 Likes |
Re: A Thread For "Everything Polygamy"! by Nobody: 6:17pm On Sep 22, 2014 |
yeyenatu: My father got married to a lady that is just 4 years older than me, she used to be my sister's classmate in the university even. We made fun of me a lot when it started. and mum did sakara but we got her to calm down. Totally disagree. 7 Likes |
Re: A Thread For "Everything Polygamy"! by tbaba1234: 6:22pm On Sep 22, 2014 |
sandijey: You disagree with her experience?? Not everyone has bad stories of polygamy, some people actually have good stories. 1 Like |
Re: A Thread For "Everything Polygamy"! by ayinba1(f): 6:22pm On Sep 22, 2014 |
sandijey: GodsDivinefavor. A polygamist is very different from a cheating husband. A friend who stabs you in the back is not the same as an enemy you recognize. A lot of us worry more about what "others" say than what we actually feel. You can choose to see some good in your situation if you have the capacity to be thankful/grateful. It is an attitude. If your husband performs his responsibilities, be it monogamy or polygamy, you will have good experiences. If he is negligent of his duties, you will be miserable be you half wife, one wife or one out of more than one wife. Let us not over romanticize monogamy and vilify polygamy. I am a woman and yes, Orisha , je kin pe meji obirin ko de inu. But it is not the worst thing that could happen in a marriage. 12 Likes 1 Share |
Re: A Thread For "Everything Polygamy"! by Nobody: 6:26pm On Sep 22, 2014 |
tbaba1234: Totally disagree wiv the bolded. Not her experience. 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: A Thread For "Everything Polygamy"! by Nobody: 6:30pm On Sep 22, 2014 |
ayinba1: Maaam it's the same to me. Nothing is stopping the woman outside from becoming the woman inside. Nothing. Its d same feeling of betrayal, insecurities, and unexpected and unforseen mistakes. I don't subscribe to either of it but I don't no how many men actually planned to be polygamyst. It started from having girlfriend outside isn't it. No difference. One is more coloured than the other. Just my take. You don't have to agree. 3 Likes |
Re: A Thread For "Everything Polygamy"! by Nobody: 6:33pm On Sep 22, 2014 |
Okay. The tendency to cheat is in almost every man and I mean (human) actually. How we react to the urge is what make us different. Just because he didn't ask the sister out doesn't mean he didn't imagine her naked. There is emotional cheating oooo. That time when she/he does something and wonder if sister/brother yemi would have done same. Na for dia e dey start. Ability to ignore our 'ojukokoro' tendency is dependent on our persons. It is there, we just had overcome it either through religion or self discipline. You are however entitled to your opinion. YYN sandijey: 3 Likes |
Re: A Thread For "Everything Polygamy"! by tbaba1234: 6:36pm On Sep 22, 2014 |
sandijey: The bolded is not exactly true. No all polygamous homes start with adulterous relationships. Some men actually plan to be polygamous. 9 Likes |
Re: A Thread For "Everything Polygamy"! by Nobody: 6:39pm On Sep 22, 2014 |
yeyenatu: Okay. Don't you think the tendency to cheat is in almost every woman too. Married women to have toasters. Get tempted too. As u rightly put it the tendency to cheat depends largely on our personality and religious believes. 6 Likes |
Re: A Thread For "Everything Polygamy"! by Nobody: 6:42pm On Sep 22, 2014 |
tbaba1234: Read my statement again. I said I do not no how many people planned to be polygamyst meaning there are some people who actually planned it but I am yet to see a christian who planned it and am sorry but it's almost impossible not to include religion. Meanwhile are u a polygamyst? If yes how do u handle your wives or how do your wives handle you 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: A Thread For "Everything Polygamy"! by tpia1: 6:51pm On Sep 22, 2014 |
. 2 Likes |
Re: A Thread For "Everything Polygamy"! by tpia1: 6:58pm On Sep 22, 2014 |
. 4 Likes |
Re: A Thread For "Everything Polygamy"! by Nobody: 6:59pm On Sep 22, 2014 |
GodsDivinefavor: My father did everything to keep the family as one, but it was obvious the peaceful co existence was fake. Since, you lived through it: can you share what your experience was like, especially the pros and cons? I've heard a lot of stories from my parents, but their own experiences were somewhat different albeit still similar in a way, since it's the same culture. My maternal grandad was a Christian, while my paternal grandad was a Muslim. With my dad, because my nan was the first wife, they never really lived under the same roof with their dad - apart from when they were kids. Different houses but still married. However, with my mum, they all lived together with their dad, the other wives, and children - till their teen years. So, your own experience might be different. |
(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) ... (26) (Reply)
Under What Conditions Should A Christian (born Again) Divorce? / Woman Exposes Friend Who Sent Nude Photos To Her Husband / ~ Why Husbands int!mate With Their Maids ~
(Go Up)
Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 81 |