bro... I think you just brought about a new strategy.

Visit Restaurants/Catering Joints, pair up with one of the workers with whom I compatibly share equal interests and views.

Take her to my folks. Wife the f#*k outta her. And yeah, everyone is happy.

shymexx:

Don't mind these airheads. When married men start staying with mistresses who cook good, or get their mums, to come live with them - they'll start crying about infidelity, and lack of respect for the wife. It's hard out here in these streets - and there's nothing better than going back to a good woman, that will feed you with good food - after a long day at work.

I've got a restaurant where I get food from every weekend - and I love the women in there to death because the food is magical. Shyte, I just go in there to crack jokes with them - and chat about all kinds of things. Heck, they now give me discount.

They honestly don't know being a good cook actually takes their ratings to stratosphere. Food is very important!

nonsense! gender equality that is never adopted when paying bills... if you want to be fully "western" as it is claimed then nija gals should not "expect" from there men . All I see in this country is double standard , he clothes you, feeds your family, gives you pocket money and you expect him not to treat you like a slave? I rest my case


quote author=Danhumprey] I give up! Feminism won't let some people reason sensibly. It's all about gender equality.[/quote]

So wat do u gain from your husband since u seem so independent.


I don't knw where u reside but here in Nigeria,men give their wives money even if it means going out of their way to do so.Doesn't mean d money is enuff to take care of dem but it has to be done.

BananaBender:

What is "upkeep" money? Do I pay him "upkeep" money too?

My husband and I should be well aware of each other's finances. We should be responsible for the "upkeep" equally.

What the fvck is that?

WoodcrestMayor: If @ bolded can happen btw a bachelor and a restaurant,I can only imagine wat would happen btw a family man and a mistress

They shuld undastand that there is no competition.Both of us(man and woman) just av roles to play in raising a family and by extension nurturing a society.

The oyinbos dat many of dem are tryna copy take care of d husbands;they cook while d men do maintenance...a good woman wuld do d necessary to keep her home.
If sumtin as little as not cooking causes a home to break up,all fingers will def point @ d woman.#Shikena

Yes, bruddah.

Once or twice a week. The urge to eat the food/taste you were raised with is always there. And most times, I can't be ar.sed to travel all the way down to my mum's house. So, what's better than checking-into the nearest place that I can get it? And overtime, I've developed a family-like connection with these women, and they treat me like their son. That just shows you the power of good food.

White people don't even cook like that. They probably cook like black people do like a few times a year (xmas, easter, celebrations, and birthdays). More time it's about oven and microwave foods. And anyone can do that. Evidently, I honestly don't understand the feminist viewpoint in this, to be honest. It's not even an "us" vs. "them" thing - just basically chics who weren't raised right by their black mothers. Lazy and scandalous women.

Some women have also imposed the wifey & kitchen duty on their younger sisters, leaving only bedmatics from 3rd parties.

I can only wish y'all good luck in ya respective polygamous nuclear families

destante: keep your sweet hell sir, I'll pass

I'm just as young as you are. I just need a lady or two(I dream of having 5) to follow me to my paradise in hell, a place of no return!!!

mamateniola1: Op, are you aware the chef that just got a national award in Abuja is a man like you? Am not sure you know otherwise this topic shouldn't comr from any man at this time!! Gosh some men still live in the wilderness-in the day's of old. Smh

it's also a disappointment to the women folks, that a Man is a presidential chef where thousands of women are... that is to tell you women knows nothing about the kitchen...

BananaBender:

'providing and protecting' shouldn't be the job of one person. My husband I share should share that responsibility. I am tired of this archaic bullsh1t you guys are spewing.

I am very disappointed in you too, you know nothing about a marriage that doesn't turn the woman to a slave.

Change your mindset, help your children.

You teach your male kids that providing is his job and you don't teach your female kids the same and you wonder why some naija women look to their boyfriends for money. Or why they go after men with money. Change your poisonous view on marriage. It's sickening!

I never said providing and protecting is solely a man's job neither did I say cooking is meant only 4 girls, if u read my first post u would see that. My mom raised us all to do the chores and cook or pls did u cook 4 me during my university years? If a woman can't cook how will she teach her kids, and pls don't use civilization as an excuse when or how does cooking makes a woman a slave? It is common knowledge that men work longer hours so its usually the woman that gets home earlier and cooks, pls change ur mentality we in africa only copy bad things in d name of civilization if ones daughter brings home a lady like her as a sole mate will she accep it?

I'm late...again.

Just when I thought I've heard it all. Smh.

Smh...

Itz sad dat many of dem just jumped on d feminism bandwagon...u knw d "do sometin crazy/outstanding if u want to be noticed" saying.

Civilization and education doesn't preach non-application of common sense.

shymexx:

Yes, bruddah.

Once or twice a week. The urge to eat the food/taste you were raised with is always there. And most times, I can't be ar.sed to travel all the way down to my mum's house. So, what's better than checking-into the nearest place that I can get it? And overtime, I've developed a family-like connection with these women, and they treat me like their son. That just shows you the power of good food.

White people don't even cook like that. They probably cook like black people do like a few times a year (xmas, easter, celebrations, and birthdays). More time it's about oven and microwave foods. And anyone can do that. Evidently, I honestly don't understand the feminist viewpoint in this, to be honest. It's not even an "us" vs. "them" thing - just basically chics who weren't raised right by their black mothers. Lazy and scandalous women.

I pray my wife won't end up coming to NL,i hope she won't even be a NLder,some comments i read here from some ladies is so scary...smh again.
This generation is producing "not so good youths."
Gone are the days when our gmamas enjoying cooking for their husbands but today? Smh again.
The Op is right,how will you call yourself a woman and you won't be able to cook? What kinda training do you want to give your kids?
Leave it or take it,this is one of the stuffs that leads to divorce!

BananaBender:

Who are you telling to shut up? If I smack you, you'll find yourself in the kitchen. Nonsense!

I don't believe in gender roles. I am the one responsible for my car now, that would not change during my marriage and if it does, it is because we both agree to that. Who washes my car now? Me!

No man can use something as stup1d as going to the car wash to intimidate me, that's bullocks!

If your gf or wife doesn't take you out once in a while, or buy you gifts, I'm sorry. That must suck

I don't believe that there is a preordained job a man is suppose to do in a marriage or a preordained job a woman is suppose to do. You guys are suppose to work as a team and come up with your own rules. Come up with something that works for you guys, and do not limit your kids.

Make sure there is a balance. Let your children know how to do every house hold chores regardless of their gender. Stop telling your female child that kitchen is her duty and telling your male child, car washing is his. The best chef we have in this world is a male. He learnt from his parents(mom). If she was narrow-minded like you, her son would have missed his purpose in life. He would have been chasing empty dreams. Teach your children all that you know, let them know the varieties in life, let them know that every and all things is within their reach. Do not close the minds of your children.

I'm sorry for your hardship, it's not my fault that you went through hardship. Life is not suppose to be hard for a child. I am happy you came out of it alive, make sure your children do not go through the same hardship.

Thanks.

Now your argument is getting more logical. No one says you can't do some of those things a.man can do, all in saying is let me be the husband and you be the wife.

If you say there are no roles, you decieve yourself, even a white womanknows tthere are roles. Many of them are now turning things upside down, it doesn't mean the roles don't exist. It didn't start just now, its been from ages.

I know there are rooms for cross-roles, definitely. I will love to cook for my wife as many times as I can, but that doesn't mean its not primarily her role to play. In the same vein a lady may be good with many manly duties, like my chic - she'll drive you if you turn to a truck, she jumpstarts a car and changes the spare all by herself until I met her. Had to tell her to act the lady. But I'm so happy she can do these things. But I'm still the man, and I'm responsible for those roles except I'm not around to do them.

You must know marriage is an institution and it begins with proper structuring such as role assignment.

And as for my female kids, they'll get the best of education and support as the male kids, they all know they can be anything they want to be and No man should oppress them. However, when they get married they must know the husband is the head of the home (not a ruler). So they learn to make great choices of a man who will.lead rather than dominate. But I'll make them know they have roles as wives.

When I talked about hardship, I didn't mean suffering. I have 3 lovely sisters but my dad wasn't easy on me at all. I now know why he did that. I had to man up.

Understand there are roles by default and then agreement. Stop jumbo Mumbo-Jumbo - ing everything

Any woman who does not know how to cook is irresponsible abi?. This is the reason why I hate most of this Nigerian men. What about men who does not have money?, those men who can't feed their families. If u can't marry a woman who doesn't know how to cook, it's as good as advising ladies not to Marry a man who does not have money. Going by responsibilities at homes, is it a woman's right to feed and provide for the home financially. If a woman can do all this knowing fully well that it's a man's responsibility, then a man should know how to cook for the family.

moca: I cant even date a man that dont know how to cook not to talk of marriage.
I dont do fast food joints, boi take me to ur house let me assess ur cullinary skill.
Very vital while dating.

When push comes to shove as in after i do and iyawo don carry belle, and it happens that she is among those that mere smell of food makes her vomit always, what then happens?

And if she has a toddler nko?
Pls who will cook for the baby?

A man knowing how to cook is a necessary necessity.
And yes, ur balls will not get burnt if u make onugbu soup or pound yam.

Is this even up for discussion?

Seconded
Thirded
Fourthed
Fifthed

butanep: Any woman that can't cook is highly irresponsible and not also fit to be called a woman. It is part of the responsibility of a woman to learn how to cook as she is growing up either from her mother or foster-mother.

So when a woman fail to acquire the cooking skills as she is growing up, she has failed in her responsibility and therefore not responsible because she might end up producing children that are also irresponsible.

I get angry when with the statement " Men should teach their wife that don't know how to cook". That is ridiculous. If a woman don't know how to prepare a particular food the man like very much, that's a different case but to say she don't know how to cook... she is worth nothing,because she has wasted over 10 to 15 years to lean part of her responsibility...

A woman that can't cook clearly shows, she never assisted her mother in the kitchen or her mother don't know how to cook. That woman shouldn't be taken seriously because she will bring up children that are irresponsible as well.

Who made u the judge and jury?

Misogynist2014: I'm just as young as you are. I just need a lady or two(I dream of having 5) to follow me to my paradise in hell, a place of no return!!!

go get the ladies then, or is anyone stopping your "dreams"?

Mscheewwww...let her be forming miss independent.


The generation of guys we av now are very unlikely to run the home d way our their fathers did-authoritarian manner.

There's likely not going to be d old skool kneeling b4 puTting food on d table.A man is most likely gonna reason wit his wife if she says she can't cook due to fatigue and I can go on wit d list of compromise we are ready to reach but still....Doesn't mean respect wuld be thrown to d dogs.U don't av to act like a soldier to gain d respect of your wife and your wife doesn't need to act like a slave to show respect.


What dey(feminists) want,I will neva understand.

Misogynist2014: Don't mind that bonehead called BananaBender, she seems deluded and compares herself with white women, which factory was your great grand father working in, in 1800's. Women are so deluded and stupïd that it is only a baby that can understand their tiny heads.


For your reading pleasure, women have been actively working in Africa since time immemorial but still gives full respect to their hubby. I can't marry a non submissive woman. My wife must be willing and able to cook my food, and care for my children. You are very lucky if you don't marry an iron man, that will beat madness out of your heart.

needful: Any woman who does not know how to cook is irresponsible abi?. This is the reason why I hate most of this Nigerian men. What about men who does not have money?, those men who can't feed their families. If u can't marry a woman who doesn't know how to cook, it's as good as advising ladies not to Marry a man who does not have money. Going by responsibilities at homes, is it a woman's right to feed and provide for the home financially. If a woman can do all this knowing fully well that it's a man's responsibility, then a man should know how to cook for the family.

slowly madam

Good food does not require millions. Prudence is another topic for another day.

Any lady who can't cook clearly shows she wasn't 'cooked' and so not fit being a wife material. You don't just start learning how to shoot at the battleground ...

shymexx: BananaBender the sholly

The only guy on here who has supported your views is "CFCfan."

And can you even date a guy like the guy? - I'd bet everything on it that you'll never go near him. That only should show you how to separate a real from a fake. White knights, manginas, and sissified guys - and your ideology are two parallel lines. Yet they're the only ones who always tend to align with the idiocy of turning everything that's just normal - to "us" vs. "them" - with inane political correctness.

Allow it, man - and get real. I love good food, to perform my job as a black man.

P.S: not saying women belong in the kitchen - but you gotta know how to cater to your man. And good food is highly important, especially if he can't cook.

Lol.
I'm not saying the man should do ALL the cooking. Of course not. I'm just stating that it can be a shared responsibility, just like a wife could, sometimes, take the car to the mechanic workshop.

GlorifiedTunde:

Now your argument is getting more logical. No one says you can't do some of those things a.man can do, all in saying is let me be the husband and you be the wife.

If you say there are no roles, you decieve yourself, even a white womanknows tthere are roles. Many of them are now turning things upside down, it doesn't mean the roles don't exist. It didn't start just now, its been from ages.

I know there are rooms for cross-roles, definitely. I will love to cook for my wife as many times as I can, but that doesn't mean its not primarily her role to play. In the same vein a lady may be good with many manly duties, like my chic - she'll drive you if you turn to a truck, she hun starts a car and changes the spare all by herself until I met her. Had to tell her to act the lady. But in so happy she can do these things. But I'm still the man, and I'm responsible for those roles except I'm not around to do them.

You must know marriage is an institution and it begins with proper structuring such as role assignment.

And as for my female kids, they'll get the best of education and support as the male kids, they all know they can be anything they want to be and No man should oppress them. However, when they get married they must know the husband is the head of the home (not a ruler). So they learn to make great choices of a man who will.lead rather than dominate. But I'll make them know they have roles as wives.

When I talked about hardship, I didn't mean suffering. I have 3 lively sisters but my dad wasn't easy on me at all. I now know why he did that. I had to man up.

Understand there are roles by default and then agreement. Stop jumbo Mumbo-Jumbo - ing everything

God bless u bro exactly what they don't get, no one is saying a girl must be this and a guy must be that, but everyone has a role to play and needs to learn the necessary skills to carry them out boys though they (boys and girls) have to acquire skills regarding both roles that doesn't mean a man will continually play both his role and dat of his partner
Is common sense this uncommon?

drnoel:

Who made u the judge and jury?

I guess you are one of those that can't even boil water let alone cook food...

needful: Any woman who does not know how to cook is irresponsible abi?. This is the reason why I hate most of this Nigerian men. What about men who does not have money?, those men who can't feed their families. If u can't marry a woman who doesn't know how to cook, it's as good as advising ladies not to Marry a man who does not have money. Going by responsibilities at homes, is it a woman's right to feed and provide for the home financially. If a woman can do all this knowing fully well that it's a man's responsibility, then a man should know how to cook for the family.

He is also irresponsible if he sits down doing nothing about it. If he had no money before you married him and he's not hustling, then you made the mistake of marrying a lazy man.

Its a different thing if he lost his job or business after marriage but all the same he should not sit at home waiting for his wife to bring money home.

CFCfan:

Lol.
I'm not saying the man should do ALL the cooking. Of course not. I'm just stating that it can be a shared responsibility, just like a wife could, sometimes, take the car to the mechanic workshop.

Nah, you agreed with the scandalous women like sholly. Don't twist it now.

And what happens if the guy never had the opportunity to learn like all his female siblings? He has to suffer for what the society created, due to the new disorderly box these noisemakers are trying to create?

BananaBender:
I knew my post was going to get you all in your feelings, you are so predictable!

Aside from all the insults you awarded me, the only reasonable thing you said is that "your mother raised you based on societal standards for both sexes).

I don't blame her, we need to change that societal standard. It is one of patriarchy and it limits both genders.

Did you just insinuate that female children are naturally inclined to be better cooks? I refuse to believe you're that ignorant.

So, how are you going to change it, and to fit into which box? The western world? Well, white folks don't cook - and they most live on oven and microwave food. I guess itmight be applicable to them And I can make all those with ease. Most people can also do that. Then what? - create a fictitious new world that only exist in your own head, and that of your lazy and scandalous ilk?

Oh, let's change "patriarchy" - how about change women's body anatomy as well? Certain things are just meant to be the way they're, and it's more or less like a natural way of assigning roles. Somewhat like division of labour, and team sport - where people do things based on their skills set. This isn't about inequality - it's about dividing roles. And no one is trying to make you slaves, it's about using your skills set to complement others, thus creating something unique and blissful.

Let me just buttress my point by throwing the race thing in there. For example: black males always grow up to be more gifted physically (athleticism) than other races. So, can we say because this makes them dominate certain contact sports - we've to look for ways to change that? - hell no! Some things are just meant to be the way they're. Changing it will just mess up the value/quality that comes with it. Go learn how to cook and stop spouting tripe everywhere, man!

Anyway, everywhere I've been all my life - the overwhelming majority of the cooks there are always women. Black, white, Asian, Latino etc.. So, that's telling, and women are most likely more inclined to be better cooks than men.


LEARN HOW TO COOK, SHOLLY!!!!

butanep: I guess you are one of those that can't even boil water let alone cook food...

U would know won't u. U empty vessel making the most noise.

butanep: Any woman that can't cook is highly irresponsible and not also fit to be called a woman. It is part of the responsibility of a woman to learn how to cook as she is growing up either from her mother or foster-mother.

So when a woman fail to acquire the cooking skills as she is growing up, she has failed in her responsibility and therefore not responsible because she might end up producing children that are also irresponsible.

I get angry when with the statement " Men should teach their wife that don't know how to cook". That is ridiculous. If a woman don't know how to prepare a particular food the man like very much, that's a different case but to say she don't know how to cook... she is worth nothing,because she has wasted over 10 to 15 years to lean part of her responsibility...

A woman that can't cook clearly shows, she never assisted her mother in the kitchen or her mother don't know how to cook. That woman shouldn't be taken seriously because she will bring up children that are irresponsible as well.

Science has proved that sick head always produce sick reasoning so I am not taken aback in any way.

WoodcrestMayor: Don't twist dis...nobody said women shld be tied to d kitchen.

I need u to address the bone of contention here-whose responsibility is it to cook for the family?

man n woman. :-/

What puzzles me is how many times do u see threads talking about manly roles and you'll see many guys trying to push these roles to the ladies

If dat u were sincere wit dat answer,all I can wish u is a happy family.
#Bye

xoxogirl: man n woman. :-/

WoodcrestMayor: Mscheewwww...let her be forming miss independent.


The generation of guys we av now are very unlikely to run the home d way our their fathers did-authoritarian manner.

There's likely not going to be d old skool kneeling b4 puTting food on d table.A man is most likely gonna reason wit his wife if she says she can't cook due to fatigue and I can go on wit d list of compromise we are ready to reach but still....Doesn't mean respect wuld be thrown to d dogs.U don't av to act like a soldier to gain d respect of your wife and your wife doesn't need to act like a slave to show respect.


What dey(feminists) want,I will neva understand.

You have really disappointed me by saying you don't know what they want, or maybe you are scared of saying it.you. All they want is AUTHORITY!!!

I've watched many American movies where girls use to be ashamed to say they can't cook! and I guess America is the 'peak of civilisation'
[size=55] SO WHERE THE HELL IS THIS NONSENSE OF 'GIRLS MUST NOT KNOW HOW TO COOK' COMING FROM?? [/size]

sorry for the large fonts, I was just screaming