She's lucky I don't insult women. In fact I don't insult people except for a few hand-picked NL guys.

I would have given her serious asss whupping this morning for calling me a butt licker when my very first post on this thread told the OP harsh unvarnished truth.

Hollandis wrapper go and sin no more

(Work on your attitude too. You need it as much as the OP)

carefreewannabe:


Same thought at the same time.

Funny how the op left and never came back to her own thread.
Come back op, I want you to explain some things.

Everyone gets dumped all the time,it means that person is not the right fit for marriage,but someone in marriage who WANTS to disobey is an aberration

carefreewannabe:

She has possibly been dumped for a white curvy chick and can't get over it; hence the frustration.

cococandy:
She's lucky I don't insult women. In fact I don't insult people except for a few hand-picked NL guys.

I would have given her serious asss whupping this morning for calling me a butt licker when my very first post on this thread told the OP hersh ungarnished truth.

Hollandis wrapper go and sin no more

(Work on your attitude too. You need it as much as the OP)

Hahaha,i am just a truth sayer

hollandis:


My question is how would you feel if your wife does this to you

Ofcos I will be angry at her, but the thing is I would have noticed it before marriage and probably wont have married her anyway. But I am really not the commanding/controling type, that's why I answered the lady the way I did.

vfactor:


Then forget about the marriage. if a woman finds the very thought of being under the authority of a man detestful, she shouldnt even think of marriage.

Men prefer respect to love anytime, anyday, anywhere!

True that.

paradoxqueen:
Hello,
To start with I am a white American woman and my husband is Nigerian. We have been married for almost a year. Anyways my husband claims to be frustrated with me disobeying. Frustrated enough he left and went back to Nigeria but returned after a little more then a wee

Your husband is the foolish one,he should know your upbringing differs from ours,he is supposed to take thing easy.

Here in africa,a man pays dowry on a woman,did he pay your dowry?if not,tell him to pay your dowry then you will obey.

Here in africa,the man as head of the family,provide shelter,feeding,clothing and other things for the wife. Does he provide these needs for you?if not,tell him to start doing so then you will obey.

You have marrid a typical african,as you dont wish for divorce,then you will bend your personal rule to allow peaceful home, marriage is sacrifice. Men are feeble being,by the time you obey him,he will develop soft spot and begin to hear your opinion.

hollandis:

Everyone gets dumped all the time,it means that person is not the right fit for marriage,but someone in marriage who WANTS to disobey is an aberration

I don't get dumped all the time.

carefreewannabe:


Please!

She is not a feminist. She is just spoilt and selfish or maybe a spoilt, selfish feminist.

You all should be fair towards the lady,consider that she comes fromm liberal society,where parents dont enforce but deliberate with the kid. A kid can tell the parents,dont b silly or shutup,can an African kid try such. The man is to be blamed

hollandis:


A Sensible white guy will never marry this kind of woman.I am sure she has a stuppid job that pays the bills,maybe one of those care home jobs where they wear uniforms ,i have nothinf against those kind of jobs but to be boastful about it is really irritating.I also know she has no college or university degree because her written english is appaling

Madam easy na

samisparkle24:

You all should be fair towards the lady,consider that she comes fromm liberal society,where parents dont enforce but deliberate with the kid. A kid can tell the parents,dont b silly or shutup,can an African kid try such. The man is to be blamed

We are only teaching her good behavior the good old harsh African way.

hollandis:


Believe me ,she is fat.I have fat friends and this is how they talk.
I want her to debunk the claim that she is fat.

I have nothing against fat people but to be fat and WILFULLY disobedient especially as a wife to your husband is entirely disguisting and rebarbative

You are so mean,gush.

hollandis:


You know why i hate Nigerian men like you? Because you are a butt licker.

Why are you giving this woman a face saving passage?

Why cant you just fuccking say the truth?

If you wife happens to do thiss to you,what would you do?thats the kind of mentality you should have when reacting to threadslike this

Lady,go and sleep.

hollandis:


No,Am in the mood for butt lickets

If it were to be a black woman ,you would all crucify her because of her skin color.

Am sensing inferiority complex here

paradoxqueen:
Lol i don't attend church so i can't finish the Bible verse. Do you know what the person has done? Lol

Proof that this post is about you or I don't ...................

@op. Has he woke up one morning and ask u to kneel down and greet him or hold-up bowl of water for him to wash his hands? If not then you're the issue. Men love to be obeyed. Obedience to them is as simple as agreement and understanding. Marriage is about you and him, not the other way round, whatever you desire to do has to be centralized on both of you. Since u've identify ur problems, work towards the solution. Drop ur only-me attitude and work on yourself.

paradoxqueen:
But why would i follow his desires? He is not my maker.

What kind of desires are you talking about?

Please give examples

You can also go through this thread

https://www.nairaland.com/1933513/love-submission

paradoxqueen:
Hello,
To start with I am a white American woman and my husband is Nigerian. We have been married for almost a year. Anyways my husband claims to be frustrated with me disobeying. Frustrated enough he left and went back to Nigeria but returned after a little more then a week.
Now most of the time i don't think in my mind think to just obey him. What he says or we talk about well to me is only his opinion. I don't see anyone as authority to obey. I see people as people with opinions. My personality also contributes to this problem because i am spoiled, spontaneous, and well my husband says i think too much of myself... I say he doesnt think enough. I am not a disciplined person... I have lived my life doing what i want when i want and how i want.
Then other times i will very clearly purposely obey him. However.i only do this if he has upset me so that we may both be bothered and these times i clearly intend to anger him and frustrate him.
Now i have a problem that he wants me to obey him. I have several problems with this.... 1. I can't obey... I can Try.... But its not in me. 2. When we married our vows were messed up so i feel that is my escape clause that prevents me from really having to up hold to the martial vows. But most of all I just can't obey him. I could name many reasons why i won't or can't but i know myself well enough to know there is no situation with anyone i am going to obey.... Its just me...
Now my real problem is he is threatening to terminate the marriage if i don't obey... And i know he will.
I don't want the marriage to end but i don't want to obey him. And its probably easy to say obey him if i don't want it to end but i can't obey i don't know how and i don't even knowmost of the time when he expects me to i think he is just giving an opinion as no one not even my father would ask let alone demand me to obey.
So does anyone have anything they know i can do or any way i can alert.his mind on this obey thing?

Are you not the same lady that married that guy 2 months after meeting him?

Hehehe! I'm sorry to say, your marriage was doomed before it even begun.

Pdude. That is too harsh ok.

Is his opinion usually flawed, wrong, self centered? If yes I suggest you stick to your guns.

If his reasoning is logically sound, right and it's in the best interest of the family then I suggest you don't see it as submission, see it as doing the right thing and his opinion/idea/suggestion at that time is the best way forward.

You are not a tamed dog that should be led around like you have nothing to offer. You are a woman of substance and that includes recognising when another is right and when your opinion might be good for you but not for the family.

Obey him for what? Are you his child? Voetsjek! Let him go to hell! Idiot, backward thinking fool.

All I read is just Obey! obey!! Obey!!!.in this horrible write up haba!!!!!!

If you don't want to be submissive, oya waka on time abeg instead of wasting his time so that he can find someone that can be level headed.

I have seen alot of white ladies that married to Nigerian. they are very cool and level headed. not that he was putting rope on your neck as a slave or asking you to go for circumcision.

he was only looking for a little bit of respect and submission in the home both of you are living.

Please leave. I am begging you now. i can go to African shop, Buy you cola-nut and email it to you just for you to live him alone so that he can plan his life now since you vowed never to obey.

paradoxqueen:
Why i mention i am white is not out of superiority its because if someone reading knows much about Americans they know black American and white American carry a different culture/view/raising.

Then you should have dated him well enough to know if your personalities compliment each other. The word you should be using is submission not obedience because you are not a child. I can't give any advice cause i don't have the slightest clue about that 'obedience' your husband keeps harping on. It's your marriage- you have to sort it out on your own.

paradoxqueen:
Well i kind of found a short term solution on, my own by accident.... I hurt his ego so this week he has been trying to prove to me he can go more then i want.... But i haven't reached that point yet....


Pdude ... People have.birthdays so.obviously i had one but to correct you i married him in November... We had known each other a little under 2 months before we.married...

A quote from pDude

pDude:






You married a Nigerian man in under 2 months.

I weep for you.

Na very soon you go come tell us how the divorce take be.

www.nairaland.com/1550223/how.do-boost-drive
PDude saw it coming

Ucheosefoh:


A quote from pDude

www.nairaland.com/1550223/how.do-boost-drive
PDude saw it coming

I sure did

helen4:
Pdude. That is too harsh ok.

The truth was never a chocolate flavored pill

@pdude. NSOMIN

paradoxqueen:
Hello,
To start with I am a white American woman and my husband is Nigerian. We have been married for almost a year. Anyways my husband claims to be frustrated with me disobeying. Frustrated enough he left and went back to Nigeria but returned after a little more then a week.
Now most of the time i don't think in my mind think to just obey him. What he says or we talk about well to me is only his opinion. I don't see anyone as authority to obey. I see people as people with opinions. My personality also contributes to this problem because i am spoiled, spontaneous, and well my husband says i think too much of myself... I say he doesnt think enough. I am not a disciplined person... I have lived my life doing what i want when i want and how i want.
Then other times i will very clearly purposely obey him. However.i only do this if he has upset me so that we may both be bothered and these times i clearly intend to anger him and frustrate him.
Now i have a problem that he wants me to obey him. I have several problems with this.... 1. I can't obey... I can Try.... But its not in me. 2. When we married our vows were messed up so i feel that is my escape clause that prevents me from really having to up hold to the martial vows. But most of all I just can't obey him. I could name many reasons why i won't or can't but i know myself well enough to know there is no situation with anyone i am going to obey.... Its just me...
Now my real problem is he is threatening to terminate the marriage if i don't obey... And i know he will.
I don't want the marriage to end but i don't want to obey him. And its probably easy to say obey him if i don't want it to end but i can't obey i don't know how and i don't even knowmost of the time when he expects me to i think he is just giving an opinion as no one not even my father would ask let alone demand me to obey.
So does anyone have anything they know i can do or any way i can alert.his mind on this obey thing?

This woman you don't know what you are doing. You seriously have a problem.

hollandis:

Everyone gets dumped all the time,it means that person is not the right fit for marriage,but someone in marriage who WANTS to disobey is an aberration

hum humm.dEar wateva ur name is...after reading your posts, i have come to a conclusion that you are 50 plus 50 times more foolish nd FOOLISHER than the op..and pls dont mess wiv me..#JUst obey..takia frnd

samisparkle24:


Your husband is the foolish one ,he should know your upbringing differs from ours,he is supposed to take thing easy.

Here in africa ,a man pays dowry on a woman,did he pay your dowry?if not,tell him to pay your dowry then you will obey.

Here in africa ,the man as head of the family,provide shelter,feeding,clothing and other things for the wife. Does he provide these needs for you?if not,tell him to start doing so then you will obey.

You have marrid a typical african ,as you dont wish forthut divorce,then you will bend your personal rule to allow peaceful home, marriage is sacrifice. Men are feeble being,by the time you obey him,he will develop soft spot and begin to hear your opinion.

Did you read her post?

Even If she marry a white guy and she continue with these me-and-me attitude, the marriage won't last.

alutacontinua:
Which village are you typing from?

Thank you. I don't believe this BS for a hot second. Which white woman types like this? Abegi!

samisparkle24:


Your husband is the foolish one,he should know your upbringing differs from ours,he is supposed to take thing easy.

Here in africa,a man pays dowry on a woman,did he pay your dowry?if not,tell him to pay your dowry then you will obey.

Here in africa,the man as head of the family,provide shelter,feeding,clothing and other things for the wife. Does he provide these needs for you?if not,tell him to start doing so then you will obey.

You have marrid a typical african,as you dont wish for divorce,then you will bend your personal rule to allow peaceful home, marriage is sacrifice. Men are feeble being,by the time you obey him,he will develop soft spot and begin to hear your opinion.

Interesting perspective!