Believe it or not I learnt to drive a manual car with my fiancee's erect ding dong. Here's wat happened! He has tried teaching me how to drive on several occasions but I always make a mistake. He got tired nd gave up. One evening we were relaxing in his room naked collecting fresh air in all d hidden parts of our body. He got turned on nd wanted to get down. He was so erect oooo. I now yabbed him dat his jr looked like the gear. I now told him he should lie back let me c if I could use his erection to change gears. He agreed! Men he almost died of pain, pleasure and laughter! I now mounted him nd started moving on him nd changing gears. D guy beg me tire dat I should stop, but I no ansa am. At last ii got d changing gear part nd we did d main tin. I swear I now sabi drive manual motor, I sabi auto ooo but I learnt manual on his( pepper pepper has catch me ooooooo) waterrrrr

tojahh:
I tried teaching my elder sister how to drive after much persuasion of how her friends are all drivers. So we set out on a sunday afternoon, oya, see key, start the motor, she was fidgety, I encouraged her not to be, its just a car, it doesn't bite. Next thing na shout o, "Don't even try to school me, am not your mate" who told you am scared, I've been driving when you were away at school, I just want to perfect some things". I look this Fat girl, if no be my elder sister I for slap am. Na that place we dey she burn the key starter

I knew i will never be able to teach my wife the basics especially with our only car then Peugeot 406 manual. So i handed her over to our mechanic who took her thru drivin within the streets for almost 3 wks but refused to take her to the main road/express. i guess the man wanted to make it a piont that she did not spoil my car. one weekend as we were goin out i told her to get the steering and drive. she drove successfully within the street until we hit the main road, as she atempted to change lane in a slow moving traffic with a stationery car in front she hit a car passing by her side. we got down from the car sorted out the issue with the driver of the other car. As we proceeds to move on, she said she's not driving again at least for that day but i refused to take the steering from her. she later pickd it up, drove to the outing and drove us back home with our 4 month baby & my mother-in-law sitted @ the back & that was it, from that day onward she has been driving herself with no accident record.

Hmmm.....

It wasn't easy. Its never easy for me teaching someone I love how to drive. It was difficult with my younger siblings and it was doubly difficult with my darling wife because of love. You just feel so frustrated when she doesn't get those 'simple' things (that you yourself didn't get that easily when you were in her shoes o ). I will scream at her, throw my hands up in frustration and one day, I shouted her into ramming into one car at an intersection .I just started laughing at myself at that point when I thought of the money way go comot my pocket for repairs

She eventually perfected it when she got her own car though not after brushing my own car some few times sha

My advice: let her go to a driving school to get the basics then you can do the finishing touch to avoid BP issues

I learnt from the most aggressive and quick tempered man: my dad. 2 days was all it took and I was already on Oshodi expressway with him as my tutor.
After much shouting from him and me crying severally, you can guess the kind of driver i turned out to be: Aggressively defensive!
My husband knows me too well that I must drag space even if it's 1 inch. So, he doesn't let me drive his car when am with him.

dis comments are really klling me.my mum tried several years ago n later
gave up on me.hubby later took over and i tell u it wasnt funny.dere was a
day he shouted ode n pulled my ears(wasnt funny at all). i vowed i will neva
drive again bt he was later transferred n he left d car behind. i wanted goin to
church n couldnt get bike hmmmn wat do u think happened urs truly did d
needful by flyin d car to church

ddippset:
lwkmd. so funny. i had a young cousin of mine teach my wife for just 1 week. she was so confident in herself and we got onto the road. she go wan go bash my new ride i go tell her brake, brake, brake, she will reply, i know, i know. she go fire and match brake suddenly so tay all of us go wan hit head for windscreen, i go tell her small small now, she go say i know, i know, lol. wetin you know? every session ended with beef and quarrels. i had to call my cousin back to continue the coaching.

This cracked me up seriously.

I beg keep the hilarious posts coming. Im gathering experience how I will train my wife. She has been disturbing me to learn. But you guys scare me oo.

HFOG:
Oh. This spiced up my day. Keep them coming pls

you too reach here?

Specialist900:
you too reach here?

Yes my brother. Laughed so hard. Was worth the read.

HFOG:

Yes my brother. Laughed so hard. Was worth the read.

im waiting for your story too o

Specialist900:
im waiting for your story too o

Me no get story oh. Learnt to drive at 16. Was so much fun for me. The thing do like play play for my eyes. Went for lessons with my elder brother and Mum's driver once or twice in the field. Started driving when my elder brother was away. Mum doesn't drive and needed to go out. Two vehicles available but no driver. She vexed and said I should take her. Na so my driving start. Bashed the car only once against the door of the garage while trying to park. Me lord learnt to drive shortly after we got married. Didn't bother putting him through. Already knew how impatient and irritated I might get. His friends taught him. Stayed at home while he learnt and insisted he drives when we go out. He's perfected his driving. I do not drive anymore except we're not together. People say I drive like a man that I'm too rough. While my lord is the perfect man that he is even while driving.

Octaves:
My mom learnt how to drive before I was born. She doesn't drive often but when she does drive, i dey fear. She can't relax even when you are driving her, always complaining. Watch out for that! A keke is comimg out of that street! Take it easy! Hope you are seeing those children by the road! Ah ah! Complaint too much

same here, even pothole a blindman can see, ma mum will be like "see pothole ooo"...then when I reach 100kmph and above, ma mum will start speaking igbo, calling ma late dad's name n be like "Ifeanyi oo, see what u've taught ur son oo"

HFOG:

Me no get story oh. Learnt to drive at 16. Was so much fun for me. The thing do like play play for my eyes. Went for lessons with my elder brother and Mum's driver once or twice in the field. Started driving when my elder brother was away. Mum doesn't drive and needed to go out. Two vehicles available but no driver. She vexed and said I should take her. Na so my driving start. Bashed the car only once against the door of the garage while trying to park. Me lord learnt to drive shortly after we got married. Didn't bother putting him through. Already knew how impatient and irritated I might get. His friends taught him. Stayed at home while he learnt and insisted he drives when we go out. He's perfected his driving. I do not drive anymore except we're not together. People say I drive like a man that I'm too rough. While my lord is the perfect man that he is even while driving.

16 as a lady? Wow. It's good o.

I think I was about 14 or 15 when I and my elder brothers used to use dad's car to learn without him knowing. the story long o

Specialist900:
16 as a lady? Wow. It's good o.

I think I was about 14 or 15 when I and my elder brothers used to use dad's car to learn without him knowing. the story long o

Abi oh. Na so. Maybe na you in teach our ma'am wey dey road

HFOG:

Abi oh. Na so. Maybe na you in teach our ma'am wey dey road

I don't think so o. I'll go with the recommendations from this thread. I'll contract the job to someone

I remember my dad trying to teach mum on Sundays after church in a field, na so them come back one day with the story say mumcy carry motor enter bush. Na that day training end. This happened in like year 2000, she then resorted to using a driver till last year she finally went to driving school. She now drives her automatic car perfectly.

They just picked up Mrs CityNG for her first driving lesson. It's going to be 2 hours today.

Just for reference I shopped and I'm paying $320 for 6 hours of lesson in Los Angeles.

Its a newish Honda Civic pasted all over with Student Driver sticker. I looked in there and the instructor has a duplicate brake pedal ONLY on her side

So instead of stressing myself and her out, she's off with a professional and I'm sitting here watching old Bob Marley videos at home

funny thread...

thank God dad was too busy to teach my mum, maybe all these drama would have happened sha...

still got a share of the frustration sha..

Pamcrest:
I love these stories.

My ex boo taught me how to drive and he was so so patient but I still managed to bash his car a few times, even though we were using a big football field ooo....I don't know. But d first time I ventured out on my own, it was so embarrassing. I was doing so well till I got to a steep road where there was holdup at d traffic lights. When the light turned green, gosh, I couldn't get d car to move forward again....it kept rolling backwards. Frantically I would stamp on d clutch, engage gear n press accelerator, but d car would jump forward n stop n start rolling backwards. In panic, I kept both feet on d brakes and clutched the steering wheel to my chest while horns kept blaring behind me and passers by laughing their heads off. I was crying n sweating profusely before a guy tapped my window n asked me to pull my hand brake n move over to d passenger seat. He got in n drove d car up d hill to level ground n handed d car back to me. I sat there for several minutes before I summoned courage to drive home. Suffice to say it took me a full year before I drove again....but now I drag road with danfo n taxi drivers oooo.

My humble experience

hehehehehehehehehehehe aunty mi hehehehehehehehehehehe

idu1:
hehehehehehehehehehehe aunty mi hehehehehehehehehehehe

Who is yr aunty?

junell:
I learnt from the most aggressive and quick tempered man: my dad. 2 days was all it took and I was already on Oshodi expressway with him as my tutor.
After much shouting from him and me crying severally, you can guess the kind of driver i turned out to be: Aggressively defensive!
My husband knows me too well that I must drag space even if it's 1 inch. So, he doesn't let me drive his car when am with him.

Hehehe...lucky you!

egesie:

same here, even pothole a blindman can see, ma mum will be like "see pothole ooo"...then when I reach 100kmph and above, ma mum will start speaking igbo, calling ma late dad's name n be like "Ifeanyi oo, see what u've taught ur son oo"

Speaking igbo kwa, hehehehehehehe

CityNG
How's d lessons going eh?

zemaye:
CityNG
How's d lessons going eh?

Thanks for asking, we've made much progress.

She does all of the local driving now except for the freeways. A vast improvement from the couple of months ago, very proud of her.

PS: Note for folks whose Spouses are coming to the US, please let them learn how to drive in Nigeria. It will be much cheaper and less stressful.

Congrats to your wifey